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Friday.
A fairly normal day at work. I had my first check-in with my boss in a while, in which I was "coached" on how I always, always, ALWAYS mess up daily reports. Somehow I always get a date wrong, or spell a name wrong, or get my military time wrong, or miss the inclusion of an event.
Why does this happen? I don't know. Could it be that I'm exhausted every day and find it difficult to focus? Naaaah that can't be it.
There is a part-time job opening at the community library near our house.
I've applied for it, even though I know they'll never call. I hate online applications SO MUCH. My resume never makes it through any algorithm due to lack of keywords, and then when a human looks at it they see that I have a master's degree and it's an instant NOPE. Having a masters does not mean I'm going to demand a six figure salary FFS. But whatever. At least I tried.
I also got tagged in someone's post looking for musicians for a local production of Ain't Misbehavin', which I performed waaaaay back in 2019 with another local theatre. I sent my resume and a sample clip, we'll see if they get back to me.
All of this meant a lot of extra work writing cover letters, updating my resume, and then inputting said resume piece by piece because with all our advanced technology we STILL seem incapable of just letting applicants upload resumes, noooo, we've all got to have our own layouts and fields that never autofill right. So yep, over an hour spent on one application and one theatre inquiry, meant I got to start steno at 8:30pm. And OF COURSE my computer decided it would be a fine time to act up. Something was using 100% CPU, some stupid system process, I tried to practice through it and did get some done, but only about 15 minutes of practice time that "counts" according to my school.
It was just a frustrating night. So at 9:15 I called it and came out to the living room to research more jobs.
I have got to get rid of this commute.
Maybe I mentioned this in a previous post: taking into account the cost of tolls and gas, there is about a $400 per-month difference between me working onsite as a supervisor and me working from home as a full-time captionist. So in order to demote myself back to just a captionist and work entirely from home, I'd have to find a job that makes up that $400 per month difference. By losing the commute, I'd also gain back 40 hours of time per month. More than enough for a part time job, that would certainly pay $100 per week if not more. And more than enough to allow me at least one more hour per day to work on steno.
The gamble here is that if my employer does away with work from home, taking the part time job would be for nothing.
Then I'd have to go back onsite to work, plus get paid less as I'd no longer be a supervisor. And if I wanted to be a supervisor again there's probably a waiting period.
At this point, I'm willing to risk it.
There is just no time in the day. ONE extra task means I can't even get an hour of steno practice. It's ridiculous, and I'll never progress this way.
Anyway, how about something positive for once.
We got a new front yard!
When we moved in, our yard was pretty much entirely weeds. All the grass had died off, and the HOA lawn service seemed to enjoy doing wheelies in our yard, further tearing up what little was left. Jameson has been fed up for a while now. So we started researching what we needed to do to get a functional front lawn. First we had to kill the old lawn, which Jameson paid TruGreen to do.
The yard before murder-death-kill, entirely weeds:
The yard after, looking quite dead indeed:
We went about two weeks with the yard looking like this.
I hoped the neighbors knew what we were doing. Otherwise they probably just thought we were dumping toxic waste onto our yard, haha.
And now today, after the sod guys came and laid down new grass:
It looks great! I just hope that the grass can survive with this dry spell we're having.
It'll be nice to have a lush green yard.
Saturday, I was depressed again. At least it was a fairly slow day. I just feel so conflicted about everything I'm doing lately. Yet I've got no idea what I want to do next, which direction to move in.
At home we had Chick-fil-a and I washed our sheets and packed things for my concert tomorrow: trombone, mutes, music, water, clothespins in case of wind, stand light. Lunch for work, dinner for eating in the car on the way. Then I practiced steno, doing the homework and taking a test even though my test scores are abysmal now. Whatever. Not winning.
Sunday, work was normal, I found out I get to work from home on Tuesday again. So much for assigning us days, they keep giving us days that we weren't assigned, but frankly I'd gladly take any day and All The Days.
After work I choked down a leftover Reuben in the car while driving to the gig, got there, set up in the hot Florida sun.
It started to cool quickly, though. More people showed up than I expected, bringing lawn chairs and kids and dogs and such.
There was a "bar", but there wasn't much there and I felt shy about drinking with a whole lot of kids and teens around.
The concert went "ok" I guess. It was a community group, we got lost a zillion times, cues were thrown or forgotten, people missed entrances and stepped in holes and were out of tune because we were outside in Florida. One of the other trombonists, who I've performed alongside before and who makes me cringe every time I see him at a gig because he's so unprofessional, dropped his mute twice making a huge racket, and at one point dropped half his music below the risers and had to belly crawl under there to get it. Like, during the concert.
All of this was expected, and made me sigh internally. I went to school to perform professionally. And this is the value I've achieved. Great.
But anyway, amateur performances really are nice in their own way. Unprofessional hijinks aside, if everyone does their best the music sounds good even with mistakes. I packed up quickly and left, driving an hour to get home, stopping at Walmart because Jameson had mentioned key lime pie Kit-Kats and they seem to be Walmart exclusives. Found them and brought them home, then went straight to bed because exhausted.
Monday, getting up was HARD. But I did, and went to work, getting my Monday Extra Coffee on the way. Work was extremely slow, and I actually spent most of it practicing steno. I've been continuing to use free-to-read short stories found on Google Books to do this, because although I can't practice speed this way, I can practice a whole lot of words and briefs that will make me faster the better I know them, if that makes sense.
At home I had steno class and did ok, better than last week. After class I watered my poor long-suffering plants, updated my WFH computer, and took a few minutes to relax. Literally a few minutes. Hope that's ok.
Tuesday, I soaked in my extra hour of sleep, had breakfast, checked emails, logged into my work computer.
Squeezed my runny-egg stress ball. Chatted with Jameson during breaks. Made a grocery list. Practiced steno. It was nice.
After work we went to the grocery for dinner and my quiche ingredients, back home Jameson struggled with strong feelings when his bassist and drummer both called in asking for subs on the same day for the production he's music directing. He wouldn't have been so angry, I think, except one of the guys basically said, "Well the other gig pays so it takes priority." For some people, yes. For this guy, no. He's got a full time job and is vested with Disney. So he's basically saying money is more important than the commitment he made, or his respect for the contract he signed. As a musician I've had to struggle with this decision too after accepting a $150 gig and later being offered a $500 gig the same night. You can ask to get out of it, or try and find a sub, but the professional thing to do is perform on the gig you agreed to do so that everyone doesn't have to scramble. I realize sometimes you have to go with the money. But sometimes you TRULY don't have to. And the thing with the music world is, it's small. People remember, and word spreads. Walking out on Jameson's gig will affect this guy's future gigs, guaranteed.
Anyway, Jameson went to rehearsal and I dusted and cleaned both bathrooms, then went for a walk. It was hot and sticky out, Florida summer is definitely here. I felt that old familiar "what am I doing with my life feeling," but kept walking. Because the breeze touching my skin, and the smell of grass and BBQ, and the distant sound of people laughing and having fun, all remind me that I'm alive here and now, and that's something.
Back home I prepared what I'll need to make brioche this weekend, and I'm also going to attempt a pie crust for the first time (making quiche).
Then it was time for anime and bed until Jameson comes back.
A fairly normal day at work. I had my first check-in with my boss in a while, in which I was "coached" on how I always, always, ALWAYS mess up daily reports. Somehow I always get a date wrong, or spell a name wrong, or get my military time wrong, or miss the inclusion of an event.
Why does this happen? I don't know. Could it be that I'm exhausted every day and find it difficult to focus? Naaaah that can't be it.
There is a part-time job opening at the community library near our house.
I've applied for it, even though I know they'll never call. I hate online applications SO MUCH. My resume never makes it through any algorithm due to lack of keywords, and then when a human looks at it they see that I have a master's degree and it's an instant NOPE. Having a masters does not mean I'm going to demand a six figure salary FFS. But whatever. At least I tried.
I also got tagged in someone's post looking for musicians for a local production of Ain't Misbehavin', which I performed waaaaay back in 2019 with another local theatre. I sent my resume and a sample clip, we'll see if they get back to me.
All of this meant a lot of extra work writing cover letters, updating my resume, and then inputting said resume piece by piece because with all our advanced technology we STILL seem incapable of just letting applicants upload resumes, noooo, we've all got to have our own layouts and fields that never autofill right. So yep, over an hour spent on one application and one theatre inquiry, meant I got to start steno at 8:30pm. And OF COURSE my computer decided it would be a fine time to act up. Something was using 100% CPU, some stupid system process, I tried to practice through it and did get some done, but only about 15 minutes of practice time that "counts" according to my school.
It was just a frustrating night. So at 9:15 I called it and came out to the living room to research more jobs.
I have got to get rid of this commute.
Maybe I mentioned this in a previous post: taking into account the cost of tolls and gas, there is about a $400 per-month difference between me working onsite as a supervisor and me working from home as a full-time captionist. So in order to demote myself back to just a captionist and work entirely from home, I'd have to find a job that makes up that $400 per month difference. By losing the commute, I'd also gain back 40 hours of time per month. More than enough for a part time job, that would certainly pay $100 per week if not more. And more than enough to allow me at least one more hour per day to work on steno.
The gamble here is that if my employer does away with work from home, taking the part time job would be for nothing.
Then I'd have to go back onsite to work, plus get paid less as I'd no longer be a supervisor. And if I wanted to be a supervisor again there's probably a waiting period.
At this point, I'm willing to risk it.
There is just no time in the day. ONE extra task means I can't even get an hour of steno practice. It's ridiculous, and I'll never progress this way.
Anyway, how about something positive for once.
We got a new front yard!
When we moved in, our yard was pretty much entirely weeds. All the grass had died off, and the HOA lawn service seemed to enjoy doing wheelies in our yard, further tearing up what little was left. Jameson has been fed up for a while now. So we started researching what we needed to do to get a functional front lawn. First we had to kill the old lawn, which Jameson paid TruGreen to do.
The yard before murder-death-kill, entirely weeds:
The yard after, looking quite dead indeed:
We went about two weeks with the yard looking like this.
I hoped the neighbors knew what we were doing. Otherwise they probably just thought we were dumping toxic waste onto our yard, haha.
And now today, after the sod guys came and laid down new grass:
It looks great! I just hope that the grass can survive with this dry spell we're having.
It'll be nice to have a lush green yard.
Saturday, I was depressed again. At least it was a fairly slow day. I just feel so conflicted about everything I'm doing lately. Yet I've got no idea what I want to do next, which direction to move in.
At home we had Chick-fil-a and I washed our sheets and packed things for my concert tomorrow: trombone, mutes, music, water, clothespins in case of wind, stand light. Lunch for work, dinner for eating in the car on the way. Then I practiced steno, doing the homework and taking a test even though my test scores are abysmal now. Whatever. Not winning.
Sunday, work was normal, I found out I get to work from home on Tuesday again. So much for assigning us days, they keep giving us days that we weren't assigned, but frankly I'd gladly take any day and All The Days.
After work I choked down a leftover Reuben in the car while driving to the gig, got there, set up in the hot Florida sun.
It started to cool quickly, though. More people showed up than I expected, bringing lawn chairs and kids and dogs and such.
There was a "bar", but there wasn't much there and I felt shy about drinking with a whole lot of kids and teens around.
The concert went "ok" I guess. It was a community group, we got lost a zillion times, cues were thrown or forgotten, people missed entrances and stepped in holes and were out of tune because we were outside in Florida. One of the other trombonists, who I've performed alongside before and who makes me cringe every time I see him at a gig because he's so unprofessional, dropped his mute twice making a huge racket, and at one point dropped half his music below the risers and had to belly crawl under there to get it. Like, during the concert.
All of this was expected, and made me sigh internally. I went to school to perform professionally. And this is the value I've achieved. Great.
But anyway, amateur performances really are nice in their own way. Unprofessional hijinks aside, if everyone does their best the music sounds good even with mistakes. I packed up quickly and left, driving an hour to get home, stopping at Walmart because Jameson had mentioned key lime pie Kit-Kats and they seem to be Walmart exclusives. Found them and brought them home, then went straight to bed because exhausted.
Monday, getting up was HARD. But I did, and went to work, getting my Monday Extra Coffee on the way. Work was extremely slow, and I actually spent most of it practicing steno. I've been continuing to use free-to-read short stories found on Google Books to do this, because although I can't practice speed this way, I can practice a whole lot of words and briefs that will make me faster the better I know them, if that makes sense.
At home I had steno class and did ok, better than last week. After class I watered my poor long-suffering plants, updated my WFH computer, and took a few minutes to relax. Literally a few minutes. Hope that's ok.
Tuesday, I soaked in my extra hour of sleep, had breakfast, checked emails, logged into my work computer.
Squeezed my runny-egg stress ball. Chatted with Jameson during breaks. Made a grocery list. Practiced steno. It was nice.
After work we went to the grocery for dinner and my quiche ingredients, back home Jameson struggled with strong feelings when his bassist and drummer both called in asking for subs on the same day for the production he's music directing. He wouldn't have been so angry, I think, except one of the guys basically said, "Well the other gig pays so it takes priority." For some people, yes. For this guy, no. He's got a full time job and is vested with Disney. So he's basically saying money is more important than the commitment he made, or his respect for the contract he signed. As a musician I've had to struggle with this decision too after accepting a $150 gig and later being offered a $500 gig the same night. You can ask to get out of it, or try and find a sub, but the professional thing to do is perform on the gig you agreed to do so that everyone doesn't have to scramble. I realize sometimes you have to go with the money. But sometimes you TRULY don't have to. And the thing with the music world is, it's small. People remember, and word spreads. Walking out on Jameson's gig will affect this guy's future gigs, guaranteed.
Anyway, Jameson went to rehearsal and I dusted and cleaned both bathrooms, then went for a walk. It was hot and sticky out, Florida summer is definitely here. I felt that old familiar "what am I doing with my life feeling," but kept walking. Because the breeze touching my skin, and the smell of grass and BBQ, and the distant sound of people laughing and having fun, all remind me that I'm alive here and now, and that's something.
Back home I prepared what I'll need to make brioche this weekend, and I'm also going to attempt a pie crust for the first time (making quiche).
Then it was time for anime and bed until Jameson comes back.
