goofball on a train

Crumwold Hall on fire in Hyde Park.

Crumwold Hall was built by Archibald Rogers, a minor railroad tycoon, in 1886, making it one of the few local Gilded Age mansions without a Livingston family connection. It's named for Crum Elbow Creek, which flows into the Hudson hereabouts.

The Duke and Duchess of Windsor considered moving there once. FDR's mansion is right next door; he played there as a boy, and the soldiers assigned to protect him on his trips home during WWII were garrisoned there.

New York was not interested in adding Crumwold Hall to the state's portfolio of historic landmarks, so once the original doyenne croaked, the mansion passed from hand to hand, eventually ending up in the possession of an obscure religious cult called the Millennial Kingdom Family Church.

Belinda's house is part of the subdevelopment that was built on the original 5,000-acre estate, so I've often viewed the mansion from afar.

Here's what the mansion looked like in its prime:



Practically nothing is known about the Millennial Kingdom Family Church. They have a Facebook Page, but it hasn't been updated since 2015. Belinda thinks there couldn't have been more than 12 people living in the 75-room house. Their water had recently been turned off since they stopped paying their bill a year ago, which made the firefighters' job all the more difficult.

Anyway, I am thinking: Perfect! Grazia will join the Millennial Kingdom Family Church! And Neal will rescue her after the building catches on fire!

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Shortly, I must gird up and hike out to check in on the chickens. Their coop is about 500 feet from the house. Icky rigged up a network of extension cords to power their fountain, but that grid has failed, and the water in their fountain is frozen solid, so I have been trekking in every day with bowls of fresh water, hoping this will keep them from dying of thirst.

I tested the outlets with my phone charger: The extension cord relay is charging at its source in the basement, but not at its destination at the coop.

The culprit is likely a dead extension cord segment, currently buried under eight inches of snow.

Fond though I am of the chickens, the prospect of spending half an hour narrowing down the dead extension cord does not attract: It is 20° out there with a "real feel" of 8° 'cause there's wind raising mini-snow squalls.

Maybe when the temps rise back to seasonal (supposedly Tuesday).

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Frigid temperatures also kept me from my New Year's Day plan: a vigorous tromp across the Walkway!

I have this superstition that the way you spend New Year's Day is a template for how you are going to spend the year, so naturally, I wanted to fill my New Year's Day with as many wholesome activities as possible!

But an hour and a half in the cold?? With Hideous White Stuff all around me?

No, thank you!

I did remain happy & occupied all day long, reading, delighting, communicating with friends. So, perhaps that will be the auger. Had a marathon phone conversation with my pal Tom in Michigan that was quite entertaining.

Didn't do a single scrap of useful work, though. And didn't exercise.

Those would be unfortunate augers.

Off to the gym as soon as I deal with the chickens.

Many, many years ago I copped this meme from Alice. At the time, she was an angst-filled teen growing up in NYC whose online journal reminded me of the days when I was an angst-filled teen growing up in NYC.

Now she is the mother of three, and I am an old lady.

We're still both angsty.

1. What did you do in 2025 that you'd never done before?

Made a lot of AI videos before I lost interest. Lived in a house in upstate New York in the dead of winter for a week without heat on two separate occasions.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Most New Years, I wake up with a general list of self-improvements I should try. But they never quite crystallize into resolutions.

This year, though, I do have a resolution: Put $5,000 in a savings account I can access easily if I need to.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes. A good friend had her third baby.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes.

On March 12, my aunt Anne died. My last link to the Long Ago.

Annie & I had a Mitford-y relationship. Love but love begrudged. Not a whole lot of what one might call affection. But she was absolutely one of the most creative human beings I have ever encountered, a source of inspiration to me when I was young and admiration as I grew older.

She died in circumstances that broke my heart: She had dementia, and her daughter interred her in one of those Memory Acres places. They cost a lot of money. So, why did she spend so many hours in a urine-soaked bed with her hands tied to the guard rails?

It was probably a good thing that she died. I wish I could have done more for her those last four years. But honestly? I couldn't.



Then, on July 3, I found out Brian had died. The medical examiner said a heart attack, but they didn't do an autopsy, & I think it was more likely a stroke. Whatever it was, it was quick, and exactly the type of death he would have—no, not wished for: He wanted to live forever. The type of death he would have appreciated.

We later ascertained that he had actually died on July 1 and sat there, dead head bowed on his kitchen table for two days. Maybe that gave his spirit time to come to terms with the passage. I dunno.

The loss to me is incalculable. Ten times a day, I think of him. When he died, one of my moorings was cut, and that side of the boat now knocks uneasily against the dock.



Did anyone close to you get married?

Yes. Lew & Ed. The wedding was lovely.



5. What countries did you visit?

This was another year when I didn't manage to exceed escape velocity very often. The farthest I traveled from my home base was Washington, D.C., on two separate occasions to visit my fabulous pal, Alex.

6. What would you like to have in 2025 that you lacked in 2024?

Money. For me, it's always, always money.

7. What date from 2025 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Per above: March 12th, July 3rd.

November 24th & 25th—which I spent at the Cayuga Medical Center, having overdosed on pills that, in my sleep-deprived psychosis, I thought were ibuprofen but turned out to be Wellbutrin. No long-term harm done, but very humiliating.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Starting the Untitled Chick Lit novel. It will take me another 10 months to finish. But I will

9. What was your biggest failure?

See November 25th above.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Apart from unintentionally ODing on a popular antidepressant?

No.

I mean, the usual unexplainable aches & pains & twinges that beset humans of my advanced age (73). The warranties are expiring on all my joints & muscles.

11. What was the best thing you bought?.

I'm not sure I bought anything in 2025! I mean, other than food for me and food for the kiskas.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My oldest son, Ichabod. (Not his real name!) He has been unwavering in his emotional & yes, financial support. He is even talking about buying a house in Ithaca to give me some housing security.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The usual clown car politicians allegedly running this world. My dick landlord, Icky.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Liquidity went to basic operating expenses: rent, utilities, food, car expenses. When I moved across the river, my rent & utilities more than doubled. And I don't care what inflation numbers the Trump administration manufactures: Food is easily 25% more expensive now than it was last year.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I am excited about the Unfinished Chick Lit novel. If I can pull it off the way I want to pull it off, it will be very good—though, of course, since no one actually reads anymore and I no longer have publishing connections, it will remain one of those secret accomplishments that warm you up from the inside.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2025?>

Oddly enough, since it was the total antithesis of my mood...



17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

I. Happier or sadder? So much sadder.

II. Thinner or fatter? Thinner. Too thin, in fact.

III. Richer or poorer? Poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Traveling. Writing fiction. Hanging out in real time with my friends and my offspring.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Feeling sorry for myself. Reading The Daily Mail. Watching anything produced by Bravo.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I had an absolutely fabulous Christmas hanging out with Flavia & bopping around NYC.



21. Did you fall in love in 2025?

No, I don't think I'm capable of falling in love anymore.

I can still touch my toes, though. And stand on one leg for 45 seconds without falling.

22. How many one-night stands?

My vibrator resents this question!

23. What was your favorite TV program?

White Collar. The first two seasons. It's an old TV show, corny & goofy. It has no delusions whatsoever of significance. But it distracted me sufficiently throughout the summer so that every once in a while, I forgot Brian was dead.



24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No. This is one of those very few areas where my rational mind wins out over my naturally vindictive and grudge-harboring heart.

Hatred is a vector with that grasp & pull that signifies a claim on one's emotions still. It's a waste of time. When people cross you, the best way to deal with them is to disappear them through absolute indifference.

25. What was the best book you read?

Fiction: The Great Believers, Rebecca Makkai

Nonfiction: Larry McMurtry, A Life, Tracy Daugherty

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Not a discovery in terms of a new artist or piece. But increasingly, when I listen to music, I have the ability to identify & track instruments individually as they harmonize and backtrack through various melodic themes, which has given me a much greater appreciation of musical compositions.

27. What did you want and get?

Despite my multiple character flaws, the Universe continues to be kind. This year, I wanted the money for the wheel bearings I needed to get replaced on my ancient Prius to fall from the sky. And it did.

28. What did you want and didn’t get?

Brian's car.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

Anora. A Real Pain was a close runner up.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I had a fabulous birthday in NYC with my two sons:



I turned 73—which, as Velma notes to Thelma in Chicago, is "older than I ever intended to be."

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Brian not dying.


32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2025?

As I have been writing in these yearly summaries for 20 + years, I dress like a bag lady.

I have a decent eye for fashion and am thin enough so that I would actually feel comfortable in just about anything I chose to wear. And I understand that fashion is a meaningful personal statement!

I just can't be bothered with it.


33. What kept you sane??

Sane? My, you are making assumptions, little meme! 😀

But, no. I am sane. I force myself to be, so I get all the credit.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

This year? No one.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

The continuing consolidation of wealth & resources in the hands of the 1%.

36. Who did you miss?

Brian.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

I met & befriended a surprising number of new people this year. The one I liked best was probably Justine.

Though RTT told me recently, "It's probably a good thing you didn't move into Justine's house! She's dating the mayor! And it wouldn't look good for my mother to be living in a house with the mayor's girlfriend!"

RTT was just elected to the City Council of the city in question. 😀

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2024:

It doesn't matter if the first draft's good. It only matters that the first draft's finished.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

None.

40. Post a picture of something that made you happy this year.



Always, always tulip trees.

41. Did you wrong or hurt somebody in 2025?

Probably. But not intentionally.

42. Is there some new place you are planning to visit in 2025?

I hope I can pull off the trip to India.

43. Where would you have wanted to go and did not in 2025?

Same list as last year: India, Vietnam, Cambodia.

I've always wanted to go to Bhutan, too, but I kinda have to take that one off the list because I don't think I have the stamina anymore for those kinds of altitudes.

44. Did you learn any new life skill in 2025?

Designing websites in Squarespace. Making AI videos.

45. Any new food or drink preferences developed in 2025?

Nope.

46. What is your greatest fear for 2025?

That I won't make enough money to sustain even my simple lifestyle. That I'll slip on the ice & break a leg, a hip, or something that will take away my independence. That something bad will happen to my kids.

47. Did you follow any sports event in 2025?

No.

48. Which social media did occupy most of your time in 2025?

Probably Facebook, although I've dialed wayyyyy down on the time I spend on social media. True, I spend at least an hour most mornings writing in my online diary. But I don't consider that social media.

49. Is there somebody you feel particularly grateful to this year?

Ichabod & RTT. They love & support their eccentric old Mom!

50. Five predictions for 2026

1. The U.S. will go into recession, and the world will follow.
2. Democrats will win the House but lose the Senate in the 2026 midterms.
3. Some major industrialized nation government starts crumbling in February, & this immediately leads to war
4. Netanyahu will be ousted as Israel's prime minister
5. Trump will die in June or July.