taz_39 | Entries tagged with steno

Monday, I woke to multiple calls and texts from the plumber at 7am, who was not supposed to be coming until noon.

Whatever. I had breakfast and trolled Indeed for a while, responded to emails, and waited and waited for this plumber.
He eventually showed up an hour after noon (of course.) But he was friendly and professional, and did a great job, and now we have working hot water in the guest bathroom.

I did hear back from the recruiter about my transcription job: the job still exists, but they are still waiting on the government to complete my background check and clearance. It has now been close to two months since I sent that paperwork in, so while I'm reassured that there IS a job, I am concerned about how long this is taking. I can't wait indefinitely for the government to dig through a paperwork backlog while the number in my bank account continues to go down. The recruiter was very understanding of that, so she's still got me lined up for employment whenever things go through. But continuing to wait and do nothing is going to put me in a bad spot.

So I applied to a few part-time jobs and had lunch, then once the plumber was gone I practiced trombone and went for a walk. It was gross outside, sticky and hot, but at least it was overcast and around 90°F. It's hard to dredge up motivation for these walks, but once I've done it I do feel better and more energetic.

Back home I was happy to finally get my Notary certificate.
I don't have anywhere to use it currently, but it's good for four years so perhaps it'll come in handy.

Naturally I am nervous about the prospect of officializing documents...well, more about the possibility of screwing up!
But I have always been the type of person who spends HOURS looking for errors before submitting something.
Certainly that trait will come in handy here.

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Tuesday, I had slept poorly because my sinuses kept closing up at night and made me feel like I was suffocating :(
Plus I was nervous about the GI appointment. See, why am I nervous?! There is no reason to be.
Maybe it really is time for Cognative Behavioral Therapy.

Breakfast and a slow morning, I had nothing to do.

After lunch I drove to the GI's office.
( CLICK HERE for GI Visit )

Back home I updated Jameson on The Results.
I also got some good, or at least interesting news, involving a touring opportunity at the end of the year, which I'll share here once I have more information.

We made Hello Fresh pork bowls for dinner, and had a chill night.

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Wednesday I felt anxious immediately upon waking up.
Over nothing. Or, over everything (see most recent friends only post)

So I created a BetterHelp account and paid for a months' worth of therapy.
Of course this isn't as good as "real" counseling, but it's what I can afford (sort of) without insurance.

In the afternoon I took pics of my steno machine and accessories for potential sale. So much for THAT covid pipe dream.

Then I made "Strawberry Fluffies", an easy four-ingredient cookie recipe that has been trending on TikTok but is credited to a recipe from 1976. The ingredients are strawberry cake mix, Cool Whip, 1 egg, and powdered sugar.

The resulting batter looked like bubble gum, or taffy!

The powdered sugar was definitely necessary for shaping the cookies, since the dough was incredibly sticky and gummy.

Into a 350°F oven for 10-12 minutes, voila, fluffy strawberry cookies!

They were quite good! And because you're using a lot less oil/butter than you would when making the cake mix, they're actually pretty low in calories too (approx 150 per cookie depending on how many you make). They have a soft cake texture, but also a chewy and crispy edge like a cookie. We liked these a lot, and want to make a chocolate version next time. Maybe even chocolate and strawberry, and swirl them together. Mmmmmm....

For dinner, Jameson made a Hello Fresh crunchy chicken breast with roasted carrots and mashed taters.
It was very yum.

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Thursday:

Breakfast, errands, trimming and fertilizing the banana trees in the sweltering heat.

As I was clearing the ground around the trees to lay down fertilizer, I noticed a new pup:

...and then another...and another...until I had uncovered FOUR of them beneath the two largest trees, all in different stages of growth!

The third-largest tree also has a pup, so there are a total of NINE banana plants. Sheesh!
I will probably give some away again (or get ambitious and sell them, but they wouldn't go for much tbh.)

I was only outside for maybe 20-30 minutes but was absolutely dripping sweat by the time I got back inside.

Jameson has caught my head cold :( We are both feeling rough and are just taking it easy.
I applied for more jobs and tried to distract myself from worrying about things I can't control.
He played Diablo IV.

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Friday, breakfast, practicing trombone, driving to the tailor to pick up my pants, grocery for ingredients for Saturday's dinner.

Trying to negotiate for a touring opportunity. Applying to more part-time jobs.
Taking a dip in the pool because it was boiling hot outside and the water was so inviting.

For dinner we ordered tacos from Chuy's and watched Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead, which made me feel SO OLD. The main character, a 17-year-old girl, is SMOKING! INDOORS! And at work!! For the entire movie!! Not to mention antique items like Rolodexes on each desk, clunky cordless house phones, an "entertainment system" with a VCR and a huge box TV, and the shoulderpads in women's clothing, my god! So much that has gone the way of the dinosaur, but that was commonplace in my childhood. It was a fun nostalgic watch.

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Saturday, I felt restless and applied to some on-site jobs instead of from-home.
I guess the goal will be to have one or two part-time jobs, of any kind, for August.
I don't really know how to handle this upsetting job situation honestly. I'm just flailing at this point.

In the afternoon Jameson was working on a project for school, and asked to record me playing a little for one of his tracks!
I love when we get to work together on music stuff!
I was nervous (literally everything makes me nervous right now) but he was happy with the end result.

Here he is looking over the tracks. The block of blue tracks on the screen are my blatty trombone notes :p

For dinner I made easy mini pot pies.
Four ingredients: Pillsbury flaky biscuits, frozen mixed veggies, cooked chicken breast, and UNSALTED cream of chicken soup!

I was so happy to find unsalted cream of chicken! Jameson has Meniere's disease, so we try to keep salt low and being able to control the salt on this means we can add it to our regular lineup of dishes. This recipe could be modified in so many ways...I could do a beef bourguignon version, or a ham and cheese...lots of possibilities.

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Sunday. A special day.

Because as of July 23, 2023, Jameson and I have been together for TEN years!

We met when I joined the circus in 2012, he was a keyboardist and I was of course the trombonist.
Over the next year and a half, we developed some feelings for each other.
Eventually I screwed up my courage and asked Jameson out via text; or rather, I expressed my feelings to him and left it up to him to decide how to proceed. Because when you work on a tour, forming relationships can create unwanted drama or disrupt the work environment, and I didn't want to mess things up for either of us OR our coworkers.

He invited me to a nearby revolving sushi place, and I figured he was going to let me down gently.
But instead he sat down next to me and said, "I have been trying to figure out how to ask you out for months!!"

And the rest is history.
We've weathered circus life, the closing of the circus, illnesses, relocations, periods of separation and long-distance, surgeries, the pandemic, Florida, unemployment, and all sorts of things that life has thrown at us.
We've had great adventures and discoveries in food and travel and life, and days of absolutely nothing at all, and days of slogging away at work.
It's been fun and exciting, difficult and scary, intense and stressful, calm and quiet, among other things.
Of course we don't know what will happen next. Both of us are still kind of a mess post-pandemic...our careers in upheaval, and with little direction or stability in our lives. We try to create stability by eating dinner together and making time for walks and outings, but meanwhile so much is in turmoil and so much is unknown.

I'm always amazed when I realize how long we've been together. But it really is easy being with Jameson. He's got depressive issues that I very much wish were nonexistant; I've got anxiety issues that I can barely keep a lid on. But we muddle through, and I think a lot of that is because we are so mindful of each other; we give each other lots of space; we are there for each other any time no matter the physical distance; we support each other's passions and work and activities outside our relationship. It's my opinion that if you love someone, you'll never tie them down, make them compromise, or limit them to with your own wants and needs. And I think that because we give each other so much room to be ourselves, that's why our relationship has lasted so long, and been so wonderful :)

Anyway. Here are some pictures of Jameson and I.
Mostly from our circus days, but some of them are more recent.

It's Sunday morning as I'm typing this, and Jameson isn't up yet.
We didn't make any special plans: just air fryer wings and pizza for dinner, and probably a movie.
We hope to go for a walk in the afternoon if it's not broiling outside, and if it is, we'll swim instead.
The "celebration" this year, I guess, is that we are both alive, moderately healthy, and still together.
I feel lucky indeed!

My Year In 2021:

- Grew 33 types of plants in my garden.

- Baked 24 types of bread.

- Made lots of new meals and foods including shrimp and grits, Scotch eggs, gnocchi from scratch, salmon cakes, collard greens, banana pudding, and the best lemon bars

- My first-ever attempt at macarons was a moderate success.

- Ate frog legs, butterbeer, "yakiniku", beef on weck, pavlova, muffuletta, turtle soup, and white sapote for the first time.

- Transferred to another steno school, then quit steno school in October.

- Watched Biden's inauguration.

- Sold my bass trombone.

- Raised eight monarch butterflies from eggs, and watched them all fly away

- Got cross-trained to be a Supervisor and Training Assistant at CapTel.

- Got Employee of the Month at CapTel.

- Experienced working from home 1-2x per week.

- Interviewed for, was offered, and declined a position in HR at CapTel.

- Got vaccinated in April and on May the 4th!

- Got a booster shot over Thanksgiving.

- Got covid tested over 30 times, both PCR and rapid tests.

- Got my first leather jacket.

- Feld Entertainment announced that Ringling Bros Circus would resume in 2023.

- Played in VR on the Oculus (and it was amazing!)

- Had a tire blow out on the highway.

- Visited my parents in June, which was the last time I would see my Dad.

- Found out that my grandfather was a radar technician in the Army Air Force (AAF).

- One of my sisters had her first baby!!

- Got invited to go on tour with Tootsie the Musical.

- Jameson got kidney stones.

- Jameson directed a production of Head Over Heels.

- Jameson directed a production of RENT.

- Celebrated eight years with my Jameson!!

- Went to Universal's Haunted Horror Nights for the first time.

- Parents contracted covid.

- Dad passed away of covid-related complications.

- Helped plan a funeral for the first time.

- Signed the wall at the Dr. Phillips Center after performing there.

- Started a TikTok.

- First full-time work as a musician since before the pandemic started.

- Met lots of amazing people on tour and in life

These are just some of the things that I experienced for better or worse.
A sample of 1/37th of my time on earth so far.
All I can say is, yes there were certain things that made this a terrible year.
But there were other things that were good, and should be appreciated.

(Also, can you see why I choose not to have kids?? Could I have done ANY of the good stuff if I'd had children??)

For 2022, in addtion to doing my best to "just get through it", I will try to keep my chin up for myself and the people around me.
I'll try to be less negative, and more empathetic.
But I AM still going to be pretty selfish.
Because life is very, very short.

I mean, I haven't even tried BLACK sapote yet.

**Disclaimer: The content of this post reflects my own personal views, opinions, and experiences.
This post does NOT express the views or opinions of my employer.**

Note:
This week I had a family emergency, which I do not want to discuss at this time so please do not ask.
I wrote this post BEFORE that emergency occurred.
Due to these circumstances, I may be posting less often for a few weeks, or with less content because I will be helping my family during a difficult time.
Thank you for your understanding and please know that at some point regular posting will resume.

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Monday was my first day off on tour! Woohoo!

My friend Molly, a drummer that I worked with on the Ruby Princess, lives in Buffalo and came to get me for brunch!
Of course neither of us checked to see if the cafe we wanted to hit was open ^^; lol
But Molly knew of several other good cafes in the area, and it didn't take us long to find another!

We went to Tipico, which had a great selection of coffee and a pretty exciting menu of tasty treats to try.
There were a lot of vegan options, and since I'd had my heart set on a lox bagel I opted for the "vegan lox", which was large carrots sliced, cooked, and marinated in a variety of sauces and spices to taste similar to smoked salmon. Served with sprouts, avocado, dill, capers, fig cashew sauce, and pickled red onions on toasted sourdough. It was delicious!

While we ate we caught up with each other. Molly wanted to know all about tour life, and although there's not much to tell yet I shared what's been up so far. She told me about what she's been up to, considering secondary careers mostly, just like the rest of us who learned very quickly that the arts could not weather a pandemic very well. We talked about the other members of our Ruby Princess all-female band, what we'd heard from them lately and how we wished they could be there with us today :)

After brunch we walked around and explored some of the local shops. It being Monday, a lot of shops were closed, but we enjoyed browsing the ones that were open and that had local crafts and goods on display. In one shop we were greeted by this dapper young man in a tie. How professional!

Along our way Molly pointed out some places she recommended for meals while I'm in town. I took note of a ramen bar, and a hot dog place, and another great coffee shop. It's unlikely that I'll be able to visit all of these without gaining 500lbs, but I certainly want to enjoy what Buffalo has to offer as much as I can! We stopped in a local organic grocery and both got big giant cookies.
Here we are getting ready to chow down!

Too soon it was time for me to return to the hotel so I could deal with some non-tour issues that had come up during the day. We promised to meet again for wings next Monday. Man, it was so good to see Molly in person!! I'm so glad she made time to visit with me today!
( Read more... )

**Disclaimer: The content of this post reflects my own personal views, opinions, and experiences.
This post does NOT express the views or opinions of my employer.**

I woke up in the hotel in Buffalo, a little confused about where the heck I was.
I'd been dreaming that someone stole my trombones (this has been an ongoing theme lately) and I was trying to get them back. Yay stress dreams.

Our rehearsal was delayed by about an hour, so we were meeting at 11 instead of 10.
This was actually convenient for me to run one small errand, although I'd have to get an Uber to do it.
I scheduled the Uber for 9:50, got dressed, and went to find breakfast.

Hotel breakfast was very nice, the usual stuff: oatmeal or cereals, misc fruit and coffee and a waffle machine and whatnot.
I got myself some oatmeal and coffee, but brought it back up to my room to have with the Greek yogurt I'd bought yesterday.
At some point I'll want to make my own breakfasts, certainly not all hotels provide meals. But for now, oatmeal is oatmeal no matter who makes it so I may as well eat theirs. And as for coffee, hotel coffee can be nice sometimes too :)

After breakfast I just kinda hung out until it was time for my errand.
Chatted with the Uber driver on the way. It was only a mile and a half, and normally I would have walked it, but because this was so close to rehearsal time I wanted to play it safe.

After just a few minutes, we arrived!

This is BreadHive! It's an employee-owned co-op, meaning the owners work in the store each day and every employee has the potential to become an owner. They currently have eight owners, and it's also possible to invest in their bakery (don't ask me how, this seems complicated)

Whatever they're doing seems to be working, I mean look at that bread!
They only have fresh-baked bread available starting at 10am, which is when our rehearsals usually start. Which is why when our first rehearsal was conveniently delayed, I realized this would be my best chance to get fresh, local bread to enjoy this week!
Hence the special trip and the Uber.

I'd placed my order in advance, and got a "westside sourdough" and a soft sourdough pretzel.

Back at the hotel I cut the loaf in half (mutilated it! Should probably get a bread knife) and put half of it in the freezer, and the pretzel in a ziploc.
Then it was off to rehearsal. ( Read more... )

The crazy events of Saturday left me reeling. And I'm not even the one with the kidney stone.

First thing Sunday morning after making sure Jameson was still alive (he had a terribly rough night), I unpacked the new computer and got to work setting everything up. It only took about an hour because so much is stored in the ether any more.

After lunch I reinstalled my steno software and got it to recognize my machine, then did a little steno practice.
I should have done tests, but tbh even though I'M not the one who's sick, I'm terribly worried about Jameson and way too stressed and distracted with all that's going on. It's hard for me to even think about packing. What if he's not better by the time it's time for me to go? What should I do then??

Trying to wait until we get to that bridge to cross it.

After steno, some trombone practice. I didn't run through the show but instead focused on some trouble spots, playing them slowly and then faster and up to tempo. Around that time I also got a link to a new tour website, where I'll be able to access the route sheets for each city and see important info about how to get into each theater, where laundromats are, where buses will pick us up, etc.

For a while Jameson seemed to be better and was thinking about trying to perform with his band tonight, but shortly thereafter he took a turn. That's the problem with kidney stones, you have no control over the pain. Every time the stone shifts, agony. I had planned to make manicotti for dinner but am worried the smell might make him nauseous, plus he won't want to eat much until this stone is out. It'll probably be very simple food around here for at least a few days.

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Monday, I am still waking up at 6:30, my body all confused about whether it's time for work.
Careful not to wake Jameson, I made myself breakfast and did a little goofing off online.

The bedroom door popped open, and Jameson came prancing out. Yes, PRANCING.
Although the kidney stone isn't out yet, it has shifted somewhere (probably his bladder) where it's causing much less pain.
That's great! I'm so freaking glad!! I'm a worst-case-scenario kind of person, and it has been very scary to see him in so much pain.
It's not over yet, but this is progress.

After breakfast I took myself back to Best Buy to see about replacing the hard drive for my old computer.
Unfortunately the Geek Squad counter was PACKED with the 55+ crowd. Not sure if a senior living bus had come through this morning or if that was just the demographic of the hour, but either way I wasn't going to be able to see anyone that day. I made an appointment to come back tomorrow, picked up a new wireless mouse for my new computer, and left.

Next stop was the car detailing place, where I didn't get a full-on detail but rather just a very thorough vacuuming + car wash.
I vacuum my car myself, but there are places that I can't reach with the vacuum I have.

Then to the thrift store to drop off a bag of donations, then to the grocery for some things I'd forgotten earlier in the week.

Back home I ate lunch, practiced trombone for a bit, made an appointment for my rapid covid test, and wrote some emails to friends and family. I was supposed to clean the lanai but wasn't really feeling it, so had a beer instead (I drink beer very rarely, but we have a lot right now so I'm doing my part.) The beer was nice, but surprisingly having a nice buzz was just the motivation I needed to clean the lanai after all. As I was scrubbing, Jameson came out to let me know he was leaving for his Epcot gig. Hopefully he'll pull through it all right!

The lanai took about 90 minutes, here is the before:

And here is the after:

I went back inside, got a shower, had dinner and a big giant glass of water, ice cream for dessert.
My steno class had been cancelled because my teacher has some issues of her own to deal with (what is it with this week?) so I took a little time to myself to watch some YouTube before doing about an hour of steno.

Jameson came home and seemed fine, but as the night wore on it became apparent that something was wrong: he was unable to urinate. So back to the ER, I didn't go with him but hung back in case they decided to admit him, in which case I figured it might be good to be able to gather things at the house for us. I made up two hospital bags, and waited. Jameson got a catheter, some morphine, and a prescription for something for bladder spasms, then was sent back home around 3am.

I just want this to be over for him. If it's stressful for me, I can't imagine being the one actually suffering the pain.

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Tuesday, I felt so stressed. Jameson at least is not in pain, just uncomfortable.
I spent my morning trying to get him a urology appointment. God DAMN our health care system. Everyone had a different excuse not to take him. One place had no openings until November. Another complained that he'd have to take the catheter out because AdventHealth had put it in and that was "a liability". Another insisted on having his scans before making an appointment, and another said he'd have to have the catheter in for at least a week before he could be seen. I was on the verge of tears by that last call. How the hell do people get appointments? Is there a secret code word? Because having a medical emergency and an ER referral apparently isn't enough!!

The final receptionist that I spoke to had pity, because she did at least manage to make us an appointment for Monday afternoon. It's double booked, I'm not sure what that means for Jameson but if he can even just get the imaging to the urologist maybe he can get some help. A week later.

These are the times that I get really, really livid about paying thousands of dollars into SS and Medicare so that other people can get medical care, but not me, not us. I'm sure it's all more complex than that, but I can't help but feel angry when someone I care about needs help and can't get that help.

Anyway, after I managed to get the one appointment, I ran to Walgreens to get Jameson's prescription. By the time I got home he was pretty much awake, and not surprisingly irritated about having to wear a catheter for an entire week. The ER had told him to be seen in the next 48 hours.

I wanted to distract myself, so practiced steno for about an hour. The semester ends this week and I only have two tests available to take. I was tempted to just take them and fail them and be done. The pressure at this point is just too much. If I don't pass both of the tests, I will have to take the 100wpm class for a third semester, and on a machine I'm not familiar with, while in rehearsals for tour. It's just too G-D much right now. I didn't take the tests yet, but I will by Friday. I don't think it's possible to pass, but I'll just do my best and watch the money leave my bank account. It's that or quit...and while quitting is a legitimate option, I'm not ready to make that decision yet.

After lunch I rescheduled my covid test appointment based on Jameson's appointment. Then I drove over to a local arts school, where I had rented a practice room for the day. Actually it was a little recording booth.

Practice was "ok". I ran through the whole show (not the dialogue parts) with mute changes and using my bluetooth pedal. I also worked on the bebop solo in the entr'acte a few times, and while it wasn't as good as I'd like I think it's "passing" for starting rehearsals.
I. Hate. Improv.

On the way home I picked up Target sushi for dinner. Jameson was talking to his parents when I got back. When they were done catching up we ate dinner together while watching Halloween Wars.

So now we wait some more.
I should be excited about going on tour, but after the past several days I'm afraid to think or breathe.
I'm going to keep acting like everything will be ok but I just don't know what's going to happen with any of this.
It's too much going on at once.

Every time I stop to think about what I need to do before the end of the month, the list seems overwhelming.
But then when I REALLY think about it, it's not. It's just a LONG list, of a lot of things, that actually don't take that much time or effort.

I tried to do some of those things this weekend and found that I was trying too early.

Hair appointment: a week too early for booking.
Car detailing appointment: at least a week too early too.
Covid rapid test for the day before I leave: FAR too early, I can only book that a few days in advance.

So I tried to take a step back and focus on what I can do NOW.

Like use up some of what's in the fridge and freezer.
I bought this weird "sourdough yeast" a while back and wanted to give it a try.
"No more finicky starters!" it claimed boldly. "Simply add to your favorite bread recipe!"

Well, ok. I chose an easy no-knead recipe and gave it a shot, following the recipe exactly and adding the yeast as instructed.
What I got was a wet blob of dough that was insanely unmanageable, followed shortly by a flat dense loaf of bread that was gummy inside and somehow completely flavorless (I am 100% certain that I added salt, sugar, and walnut oil). It was not even remotely close to sourdough in texture or flavor. And the yeast was still perfectly fresh, the dough rose just like it was supposed to. I have no idea why it turned out so badly, other than maybe it was just a bad recipe in general?

Eh, whatever. I was disappointed, but the nice thing about messing up bread is you've really only lost the time.
The ingredients usually amount to like $2 worth of stuff going in the trash.

After that I decided to finally attack my basil bush, poor thing.

The amount of basil on that plant was amazing. Bananas for scale.

Deconstructing that took probably 30 minutes, but I finally ended up with a big bowl of fresh leaves.
I didn't have enough pine nuts so subbed in some toasted sunflower seeds, and that was a really nice flavor.
Add to that some garlic and olive oil and lemon juice and parm, and I had a big giant jar of pesto which will live in the freezer until I can address it after this tour.

Next I spent 45 minutes completing anti-harrassment training for my new employer.
Then I allowed myself the luxury of looking up some of the hotels we'll be staying in on tour.

( Read more... )

Here is a summary of what I did this weekend (two days, Wednesday and Thursday):

- Made no-knead bread (epic fail)
- Cut down my basil plant
- Made pesto
- Made dinner on Wednesday
- Went grocery shopping
- Ran the dishwasher
- Vacuumed
- Took the recycling out
- Took the trash out
- Completed anti-harassment training
- Went to steno class
- Practiced steno (x2, once each day)
- Practiced trombone (x2, once each day)
- Emailed show ticket information to family
- Researched hair appointments
- Researched car detaling locations and appointments
- Researched rapid covid test availability and appointments
- Researched tour hotels
- Made Japanese milk bread
- Meal prep for the week
- Tried to book practice rooms (epic fail)
- Emptied the large planter, washed and stored it
- Swept and weeded some of the pool patio
- Cleaned the shower
- Prepped lunch and work clothing

...I think that's it.

Gosh, I'm such a lazy entitled millennial! Spent the whole day staring at my phone making TikToks!

Tuesday after work I drove up the coast to North Carolina.

Because I left work two hours early, I was able to get past Jacksonville before rush hour and this saved me a great deal of time, probably at least 20 minutes. Then I had brought dinner so only needed to stop for gas once, and to pee. I got to a hotel in South Carolina around 9:30pm. I could have continued driving for another two hours and gotten into Raleigh that same night, but the hotels are more expensive around Raleigh and I didn't see any reason to kill myself over the remaining drive.

You know what was interesting?
Staying in a hotel and looking around and thinking, "Hotel rooms like this are about to become my new home for the next nine months".

I definitely felt a strong shift in perspective with that in mind. Like, my mini skillet is all fine and good...but where exactly do I plug it in and cook? Most outlets are either by the bed, by the tv, in the bathroom, and wherever the lamp is in the room. Some hotels have desks, some do not. I'm guessing my best chance is going to be the bathroom...easy cleanup, the sink, and those outlets usually have a surge protector too.

Nine months living in hotel rooms is WILD. But lots of people across lots of industries do it, so it can't be that bad.

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The next morning after a nice hotel breakfast (oatmeal, egg whites, a peach, coffee) I completed my trek, ending at Sweeney Brass Repair.
The owner, Scott, went to the same school as me (NC School of the Arts) and then continued his education in NYC for Bass Trombone performance. I don't know his background in instrument repair, but he has a good reputation and I think I'm leaving my "baby" in good hands. All it really needs is a cleaning and slide alignment, and even that shouldn't be so bad, I keep my horns pretty well cleaned. But it's nice to make sure everything is in order before launching into the tour.

It also might be a massive waste of time, because if I have to check my trombone and the luggage folks toss it around, any slide alignment work will certainly be undone before I even get to Buffalo :( Let's cross our fingers that that doesn't happen.

Anyway, Scott seems like a cool dude. He showed me around the shop a bit...I felt a little shy, so didn't pry too much, but did appreciate seeing the awesome vintage lathes and shaping and metalworking equipment and chemicals and, well, everything. It's always fascinating to me to see different repair shops and the types of equipment they use, each shop is different.

Scott assured me that he'd have my horn done by the 27th, and we parted ways.

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At my aunt's, I hugged everyone (yay hugs!) and we spent a great deal of time just talking and catching up all day. After pizza for lunch my uncle had to go back to work, so my aunt and I went to the community pool, blessedly devoid of children thanks to back-to-school. We continued our conversation as we swam back and forth.

( Read more... )

Starting to make a plan for rehearsal week/month in Buffalo.

Now that we have our flight and hotel info, I did a little mapping and found that the airport is about a 15 minute drive from downtown Buffalo. As with most major cities, the big box stores tend to be outside immediate city limits. So what I'd like to do once I've landed is get either an Uber or a rental car, stop at a Target outside of town for any necessities and groceries, then proceed to check in and unpack.

This would potentially happen with my new buddy Yael, our female trumpet player.
This chica has never been on a tour before, plus she's only 21 years old!

Obviously she's gonna be an adult and capable of handling herself on this adventure. However at 21, she can't just off and rent a car when she needs one. She might not have a lot of savings to afford Uber rides before we've even gotten a paycheck. And practicalities aside, I selfishly want to be a helping hand and a reassuring presence for her on her first experience with touring. She may know a lot already, but if she has questions or needs help with something, I want to be there for her.

Not surprisingly, this is because when I was young and vibrating with excitement for my first gigs there were wonderful people who helped me along the way. And I remember that, I know what a treasure it was to have such people in my life, who took it upon themselves to protect my starry-eyed enthusiasm from the ugly attitudes of many jaded, road-weary touring musicians. These were the people who showed me where to find the best food in each town; or how to get in with the roadies; or how to get all around town and back in time for the preshow with only a few bucks in your pocket.

I owe so much to those people, many of whom are still in my life, still incredible mentors and friends.
It makes me excited and happy that I might be able to be that person for someone else.

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On Friday, work was work.
( Read more... )

Monday I felt sad. Because MONDAY. And a full actual work week ahead.
I mean, I work a full week normally anyway. But somehow having my days off separated makes it feel like a longer week.

Nothing special happened on Monday except that the fleece "jacket" that I ordered is too big and I'll have to send it back.
I had steno class and it was ok, but at this point I just want to pass the tests. I wish I could do a better job of focusing.

During lunch break I made an appointment to take my trombone to a shop in Cary, NC while visiting my Aunt.
For whatever reason, there are ZERO professional brass repair shops in Orlando. My trombone hasn't been played for two years, and while it's behaving "ok" it's also hanging up somewhat in second position, and I'd like to get that looked at before launching into a year of daily playing. It's convenient that this shop is only 20 minutes from my Aunt's house. Hopefully she won't mind; it shouldn't cut into our visit more than an hour.

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Tuesday. My aunt says it's fine to do the trombone cleaning while I'm visiting with her. Yay!
At work I discovered that the training department doesn't actually need me at all this week. I'm a little miffed because I've lost my consecutive weekend for the week AND my work-from-home day AND I had to use two hours of PTO to cover the doctor appointment that would normally have been on my day off. But, I can't really blame them. If you're not sure if you'll have enough coverage, you make a contingency and cover your butt, and that's exactly what they did.

So, I'll have a normal work week, just no days off until Saturday. Sad trombone noises.

After work I got home where Jameson was getting ready to go out for a game night with friends from Head Over Heels.
I was invited too, but on Monday I did not get to practice trombone and I'm starting to stress about passing my steno tests and also being "ready enough" for the tour, so I opted out. We talked as I ate dinner, then after he left I packed my lunch for tomorrow (chicken salad, homemade wheat bread, kiwis, egg whites, edamame, a piece of chocolate) and then got to work.

I did trombone first because a lot of times that gets me focused and attentive, and I was hoping that would carry over to steno afterward.
Trombone practice went well, but I discovered ONE SINGLE NOTE that requires ONE SPECIFIC MUTE that is never used again for the entire two hour show. I can't find a recording of said note to understand why the specific mute is needed, either. Is it a solo? It's not marked as one, and it's marked "piano" (that means "play this quietly" in Italian). I'm already bringing four mutes: straight/cup combo, bucket, plunger, and a practice mute. Do I really need to bring a fifth just for this one note?

I mean, I totally will if I need to. But DO I need to?

It finally ended up bothering me enough that I emailed our conductor about it.
I feel like it could be perceived as an amateur or unprofessional question. But y'all didn't hire me for my mute collection, right? We're living out of suitcases here. I think it is legitimate to ask about the whys of bringing an extra mute for a single note.

I worded my question as delicately and politely and professionally as possible, cringed as I hit send, and will just hope that it's not taken the "wrong way", whatever that is. The obvious answer is, "It's in the book so clearly it's required." But, sometimes what's in the book is a misprint. Meh.

Speaking of "meh", I took a steno test and did "meh", got an 89. It's probably a 90 after some of the formatting is fixed, but that's still not passing. Sigh.

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Wednesday. It was extremely slow at work.

Last week I had written to our music coordinator to confirm that everything was going ahead as planned, no changes due to Delta variant? She responded that as far as she knows it's full steam ahead. Awesome. I just needed a little reassurance. It's been a year (or two).

Then the conductor wrote back to tell me that, in fact, I do NOT need to drag the harmon mute across the country for a single note in a two hour show. He wrote to the music supervisors to ask about it, and their response was "That bar is getting reorchestrated anyway. We'll have her use a different mute." Thanks guys! One less mute to worry about. I'm glad that I asked rather than chickening out and bringing the mute anyway.

Nothing else to report all day except a good friend dropped off a harmon mute for me to borrow, and now I'll have to get it back to him. Whoooops.

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Thursday. Work felt very slow because I knew I was gonna get to leave early for my doctor appointment.
It was also a very annoying day because call volume was high, so we kept having to get on phones and it was hard to get some tasks done even though there was sort-of enough time to do them all. Also, people kept asking me to take on tasks that needed to be done AFTER I would have left for the day (and yes I had reminded everyone first thing in the morning that I was leaving early). Even my boss, who was the one who approved my leaving early, asked me to take phone coverage at 3pm.

It felt like one of those frustrating dreams where you are trying to get somewhere, and the clock is ticking and you know you need to leave now, but every time you try someone stops you and insists that you do this one other thing first, until you start to hyperventilate in your sleep (at least I do). Of course no one was trying to stop me, but just the fact that I kept having to explain,

"I have a doctor appointment today."
"No, I cannot reschedule it."
"I got approval a week ago to leave early today."
"No, I cannot do that task because I NEED to go to this appointment."
"Yes, I DO need to eat something right now because I am leaving soon and this is my only chance to eat."
"I would love to help you but as I reminded everyone this morning, I'm leaving early because--"

etc etc. It was very frustrating and stressful.
I go to the doctor VERY rarely, and I am NEVER absent or late to work, and I gave plenty of notice, and the only reason I even had to give notice in the first place is because THEY changed my schedule all around! And then people have the gall to question it all day! ARGH!!

My job is not that hard, and I do enjoy it, but today it felt very RETAIL.
I should not have to feel guilty for taking ONE day out of the 365 to look after my health. Very unpleasant.

And then, THEN...

I went to the appointment. And waited in the 98 degree parking lot for almost 30 minutes.
And then someone called and said, "Were you a follow-up appointment?"
And I said, "Um, NO. This was a PCP."
And they said, "Oh! There's been a mistake. We had you booked for a 10-minute follow-up appointment."

Oh my god.

She added, "I can book you for November, how does that sound?"

Oh my god.

I said, you know what, never mind. I'll call you again.
In nine months. When I'm back from tour.

Welp...at least I had some extra time after work today, and I took full advantage.
I went to Target for some small things, got dinner, got to the house and cleaned up and packed my lunch. Cleaned both bathrooms, and dusted the furniture. Ate dinner with Jameson, watched Cobra Kai, practiced trombone for an hour. Jameson left for rehearsal and I practiced steno, took a test and AGAIN got an 89. So f*cking frustrating. I only have like five 100wpm tests left in my bank, I'm terrified to fail all of them, and then what??

So now I'm typing this up, then I'm having a half-shot of vodka just because I'm ANGRY.
Then I'll shower and get to enjoy, let's see, it's 9:20pm now, I should get about one hour of time to "relax" before I should try to sleep because tomorrow it's back to work again.

Then I will have Saturday off, and you know what? I am doing NOTHING.
I will still practice steno and trombone, and will probably weed around the house. But NO chores. NO cooking. NO bread.
Lots of sleep and sitting on my ass.

BECAUSE I'M A LAZY-ASS MILLENNIAL WHO IS RUINING EVERYTHING. You're welcome.

I didn't sleep well Tuesday night.
Kept dreaming about trying to make the TinyMod work with CaseCAT.
Probably because I was in a chat discussing the issue right up until I went to bed.

Anyway, despite what my subconscious brain thinks, it's not the end of the world if I can't get it to work with CaseCAT.

I got up and had breakfast, messaging the TInyMod creator to let him know I'm available for walkthroughs if he has time today.
Then I did a little research on pretzel recipes...most of what I could find was in American measurements, a pain in the ass but I at least looked up a cup-to-weight flour equivalent before launching into making them.

It's a fairly simple dough of warm water, yeast, sugar, flour, melted butter, and salt.

Came together very nicely...because I've been working with so much enriched dough I forgot what it's like to have a nice non-sticky ball of regular dough to knead. It's so smooth and easy to work with! I made a few small changes to the recipe: reduced the salt by 1/2tsp and added 1.5tsp sugar (there was no sugar in the original recipe), added two tablespoons of vital wheat gluten, and used walnut oil to knead the dough instead of flour. I'm also going to use an egg wash. I'm obsessed with shiny bread.

Here's the lovely dough ball after rising for an hour.
That's the other nice thing about pretzels, they only take like an hour to rise.

While the dough was rising I cleaned up the kitchen and washed our sheets, ate lunch, and thought about what I wanted to do for the rest of the day. It turned out not to matter what I wanted to do, because what happened was the TinyMod creator got onto a Discord chat with me and wanted to have me wipe the software on my machine, and replace it with something else to see if that would get it working in CaseCAT.

I was all for it, but first had to finish these pretzel buns!

( Read more... )

Friday was a rather cringe-y day of spending more money than I would like.

I've already bought the mess kit, eggwich maker, fleece sweater, trombone mute, yoga pants, packing cubes, immersion heater, luggage scale, and mini steno machine. After work I ordered two bathing suits, another fleece JACKET, a travel hairdryer, and a 6" electric skillet.

This is all in addition to the cost of updating my passport, getting TSA Precheck, copay for doctor's appointments, a year's supply of birth control, and probably other stuff that I'm currently forgetting about.

To be fair, it's probably at or around a thousand bucks for all of that.
And all of it is useable whether I go on tour or not. But I don't typically spend this much on myself/on stuff, at least not all at once like this, so it is making me cringe.

I've had bad luck with bathing suits, so I've sent back the one that didn't fit and have ordered two more from somewhere else in the hopes that somewhere exists a one-piece that I can actually wear. I'd love to shop in a store for one, but the way covid and the supply chain are going it doesn't seem likely I'll find what I'm looking for. So at least I'll get some money back when I return one of them.

I should have sent back the fleece sweater. It wasn't what I wanted or was expecting...I was trying to get a fleece JACKET, something more fitted and sleek-looking. But I threw out the tags and packaging without thinking, and anyway it can serve as a liner for my Ringling shell coat (I lost the fleece liner for it somewhere along the way).

The passport and doctor's appointments and birth control I would have bought at some point this year anyway.
The mute I should have had already.
The other stuff I do feel guilty about. Eh, hopefully that feeling will pass if/when all that stuff comes in handy. But today it stings.

Jameson had about seven friends over to play D&D in person. Kind of like an old-school LAN party!
Although I'm not very social and have never played D&D, I enjoyed watching and listening, and just having the company.
I did practice some steno, and had wanted to take a test but felt too distracted.

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Saturday was a little rough, maybe because I was tired from the previous late night.
There was a lot of drama at work: people quitting unexpectedly, people quitting as expected but leaving behind scathing reviews of the company, people anonymously emailing the entire company with their built-up angst...honestly. I think a lot of these people have not ever had a "real" job before.

Anyway let's not get into that.

I've been feeling frustrated with my body lately, so I've started doing what I call "cubicle exercises" again.
Usually first thing in the morning, when no one's around to see or say "Why aren't you working?", I do some leg lifts and some side-to-side standing crunches. Then I'll go for walks around the building on each of my breaks, and squeeze in some girly push-ups or a plank, and do another set of leg lifts and crunches. That's usually all I'm able to sneak in, but it's better than nothing.
Earlier in the year I weighed 119-121, but now I seem to be hovering around 122. Which isn't bad, especially if any of it is muscle, but I don't think it is. So if I'm going to gain a pound or two I'd rather it be muscle.

I have a pair of dress pants that I like to call "Honesty Pants" or "Pants of Truth", lol.
They're made by INC, and they contain no elastic whatsoever, not even in the waistband. The waistband is also super thin, so if the pants were too tight around the waist you'd know right away by how they would painfully cut into your gut like a cheese wire through a gob of mozzarella.
I've had them for years, but rarely wear them (dry clean only) so I know they haven't stretched out or anything.
The Pants of Truth still fit. Test passed.

After work I brought some frozen pesto to a friend, then came home and ate dinner with Jameson and practiced trombone for a solid hour because it's about to be August up in here. Then I did some steno and chilled for about an hour before bed. Jameson seemed down, I couldn't tell if it was something I did or if this was just his mood. I always think it's something I did no matter what the reason.

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Sunday, work was very slow and I was very distracted. I'm going to be giving my notice soon (since I'm a supervisor I feel it's polite to give more than two weeks) and I found out what questions are on the supervisor exit interview. So I spent a lot of time writing up responses. Most of the questions have to do with suggestions for improvement, and I have a lot of those. It was more enjoyable to do this than my usual work.

There was a pleasant surprise schedule-wise: I've been asked to help out in the training department next week, and it so happens that the same week I've been asked to play a church gig. My boss ended up shuffling my schedule around in such a way that I was given the day of the gig off! Now I won't have to spend PTO to get it. Sweet!

Back home we had tacos for dinner. Jameson seemed in a slightly better mood, having spent several hours working on Christmas music with his friend. We watched Cobra Kai (I'm shocked at how good this show is) before I marched off to take some steno tests. And I actually did well! I may have even passed one! Even if not, it's the best score I've ever gotten on a 100wpm test. I'll take progress in any form!

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Monday was rough. It was just one of those days where Murphy's Law was in full effect. Every time I tried to complete a task, something interfered, either dragging the task out twice as long as it should have gone or stopping me from completing it entirely. For example, while on phone coverage my coworker needed to use the restroom, so I said I'd answer the phone while he went. It was only 10-15 minutes, but in that time so many calls came in that I could no longer transfer calls, there were too many people on hold, then one of the calls was from Quality Assessment to deliver me a project on top of my usual work. By the time my coworker returned I was about an hour behind in my day. All from 15 minutes of answering the phone.

That's the kind of day it was.

Then at the end of the day, right before I left, I was told I had to come in to work tomorrow instead of working from home.
Sigh, mope, but I'm glad they told me today and not tomorrow. This way at least I won't lose an hour of PTO because I had to commute in the middle of the day.

On the way home I picked up a coat from the dry cleaner's, ate my dinner in the car, and on the porch waiting for me was this TINY hairdryer! Someone in a facebook group recommended this as a good one to bring. I've never seen one so small.

Then it was steno class, which went ok. Then I caught up with Jameson a bit, he'd had a day because people had come over to install the pool heater and fix one of our screens on the lanai, then his co-director was coming over to review the audition videos for their production of RENT. That took them quite a few hours, so I was antisocial, watched Rick and Morty in the spare bedroom and just tried to find some chill. They wrapped it up around 11pm.

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Tuesday. I was disappointed to have to go into work, mainly because when working from home I can get a logged practice session in. Now I'll be two hours behind on my practice for the week. Oh well.

I didn't feel very good (not the covids, just general ickyness) probably due to stress.
I still don't believe this tour is happening, because now we've got delta variant and some things are shutting down again.
Spirit airlines cancelled 2700 flights yesterday and left thousands of people stranded at airports.
The tour directors still have plenty of time to say, "It's too soon. This is too much trouble." and cancel the whole thing.

Meanwhile I've spent a lot of money on things for touring, and prepared to give notice, and all sorts of life-changing steps.
We haven't heard anything from the tour administration since receiving our paperwork and a nice welcome letter.
Not that they have to be in touch every week. It's only that silence makes me wonder. And worry. And stress.

I'm stressed about the what ifs, and about the money I've spent on stupid things, and about potentially giving notice and then finding out the whole thing is cancelled, and about my relationship with Jameson. Makes my stomach hurt.

Work was ok, just normal. I got a little credit for suggesting that we redistribute flyers for the Employee Assistance Program, a free help hotline for people who want to complain about work, need help with various personal issues, substance abuse, depression, etc. With all the employees quitting and/or leaving scathing exit interviews and/or sending anonymous nasty emails, I figured it would be good to remind people that there ARE options available to them. Management jumped on that suggestion (why not, it makes them look good) and I got a little pat on the back for it (while someone else gets a raise I'm sure).

Back home I was happy to find that my TinyMod steno machine had been delivered! It's SO SUPER TINY!

Here it is sitting on top of my student machine.
Hopefully you can understand why I spent the money on this.
The student machine has a case and a stand, bringing the weight to 5lbs and the size to more than a foot long/wide in the case.
The TinyMod weighs less than a pound and can fit in an 8" tupperware or pencil box.

We ate dinner and I practiced trombone for about an hour, then tried to get the TinyMod to work.
It works very well with Plover (steno freeware software), and my test website, meaning I'll be able to log my practice.
I didn't try it on a test, but as long as Plover saves my input uploading the files to the test page shouldn't be an issue.

I would like for this to work with CaseCAT, however, and so far haven't had any luck getting that to happen.
It doesn't seem to "see" the TinyMod. I've asked for help from the creator and on social media, and I may also ask my teacher or CaseCAT's helpline if no answers are forthcoming. But for now, I'm just happy that this WILL work. It will take some getting used to, but it can totally be used in place of my student machine. Yay!

Now it is the weekend. Tomorrow I want to make pretzel buns, practice trombone and steno, and get some stuff together for the thrift store. If there's time I'll make burgers for dinner (on the pretzel buns of course), but I have class so not sure that'll happen.

For one reason or another, this week kind of went by in a blur.
I didn't really document anything day-by-day like I've been trying to do.

Saturday and Sunday were both normal work days, and during lulls I tried to math out how I was going to pack suitcases or calculate the price of putting my car in storage vs letting someone drive it while I'm gone. To and from work, I stopped at grocery stores for items to stock my food box that will live in my luggage. I'm certain that there will be access to a grocery within the first week or so of rehearsals, but as an experienced road-person, I find it is ALWAYS a good idea to have a stash of nonperishables in case you get stuck.

My food box is usually a shoebox, or something about that size.

This time, I want it to contain:

- some type of jerky
- single-serve tuna and chicken pouches
- dry-roasted edamame
- single-serve peanut or almond butter packets
- granola bars (Clif minis are a perfect size)
- a healthy fruit leather
- instant oatmeal packets
- ginger (for motion sickness)
- crackers or Biscoff or both

In addition, since I plan to be cooking at some point on my journey, this time I am bringing

- salt and pepper (grinders if possible)
- olive oil (I got two tiny 3oz jars from World Market!)
- pie spice (for oatmeal, to avoid separate nutmeg and cinnamon containers)
- flax seeds (also for oatmeal)

The spices will be stored inside my mess kit, the oil and peanut butter and other liquid-like things will get their own ziploc before being placed in the food box, in case of leaks. Once we're actually touring, I'll use the food box to throw snacks into my purse in case we get stuck in a rehearsal without time for lunch, or for those times when I go exploring and find myself in a pickle for healthy food. It'll also come in handy on the jumps from once city to the next, most of which will be by bus and between 5-8 hours long. I can restock it at groceries or rest stops. It's definitely a lifesaver, and worth the luggage space.

There are still about two months until tour starts, but I want to gather as much as possible now so that I can do a luggage test run. I want to pack all that I plan to bring and see how much weight/room I have left after that.

So that took a lot of my focus. I also started researching what to do about my steno machine. It's just so BULKY. It's not even that heavy, but the keys are very sensitive so it needs to go in a case, making it about the size of a thick square throw pillow. That's a HUGE amount of space to take up in my luggage. I could try shipping it to myself, but then what happens on the bus? The next time we fly? If it doesn't fit in my luggage, how does it travel with me consistently? It's been worrying me.

So I trolled around the steno forums, and eventually found this:

(photo courtesy The Plover Blog)

It's called the TinyMod, and it's pretty much a very basic steno machine.
As you can see from the picture, it fits inside a pencil box. And supposedly, I can use this to participate in all of my classes.

There will be downsides to this of course...it'll feel different from a true steno machine, and it doesn't come with a stand for me to adjust, I'll have to use whatever surfaces are available. But if it will save me a big section of space in my luggage while allowing me to continue steno, well, I'm all for it. I've reached out to the creator and now we'll see if I can get one before hitting the road.

I also got confirmation that my TSA PreCheck has gone through, so I'll be getting a card for that soon. Yay! Forwarded that info to the production company.
My passport is still "processing", no surprise there.

Nothing else exciting happened during the week except I had a pair of black yoga pants shipped in the mail, which I hope to pass off as dress pants for this gig. I practiced steno every day, and trombone too, sometimes more of one than the other. I finally felt comfortable practicing trombone without listening to the soundtrack for the first time on Sunday, that was nice.

I'm no closer to passing my 100wpm class, but now that I'm dividing my practice time between trombone and steno my productivity is halved so it's not really surprising. If I can maintain, that'll have to be good enough; I still hope to pass before the end of this semester.

Monday felt like a very slow day at work, I almost felt guilty for how little I got done. Almost.
It's a time of year where a lot of people have graduated and are moving away, or going to college, or going on vacation, or hunting for higher-paying jobs. So about a third of my captioning team is absent for one of these reasons, leaving me few people to review or check in with. What can ya do?

Monday's steno class was ok, my brain was all over the place though so I didn't do as well as usual.
I brought up thoughts on storing my car to Jameson, and he was like, "Why would you do that? You could just leave it here."
I swear we had this conversation already, and he had said something about having to move it frequently and/or not feeling confident about being responsible for it, which is why I was looking for storage options in the first place. Guess I imagined that, or put too much weight on his feelings on the subject or something. It wouldn't be the first time. Anyway if he's willing to move it once a month or whatever, great, I'll leave it here. Not 100% pleased about having it parked on the street for much of that time, but it's cheaper and probably still safer than leaving it stored with a stranger.

Tuesday was WFH, for real this time. It was even a very slow day, so I was able to do a load of laundry and practice steno.
After work I drove to Whole Paycheck because Jameson expressed an interest in having Philly-style pork broccoli rabe sandwiches again. I made them once before, and he claims he really enjoyed it. I personally found them kind of gross, probably because I overcooked the meat. Well that won't happen again, dangit! I got a pork shoulder and some provolone, broccoli rabe and garlic and italian rolls.

I also found a small packet of high-fiber crackers, which I think would be good for my food box.
It took ages to get back home, where we finally ate dinner and relaxed.

This weekend there will be no bread-baking; there are enough carbs in this house right now, and I want to take care of test-packing my luggage and going through some stuff for the thrift store.

Alright, so, in the interest of not sounding like an idiot every time I post from now until Stuff and Things actually happens, I'm going to basically say what I'm doing without saying exactly who I'm doing it with/for. You've all probably picked up on it anyway, you're not idiots.

I've been contracted to go on a national tour with a musical for nine months. There, I said it.

I won't say what show, or give any details, until the show has been announced. I think that should be contractually acceptable for me to do.
For those of you who've read the Friends Only post, apologies because some of the info below you'll have seen already.

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Nine months is a long time to be away from your S.O.

That is the biggest struggle with this whole thing so far.

We've talked about it briefly, but this was something we truly discussed in-depth years ago when we first got into a relationship. It was necessary, since we're both professional musicians (or at least he is). There's always been a possiblity that some opportunity would take us away from each other. And we had to establish our perspectives on that, and where lines, if any, would be drawn.

It turns out that we draw our lines in a very similar place. Yes, it's going to hurt really really badly for both of us to be apart for a long time. And yet we are both very much in agreement that it would be even more awful and painful to turn down a rare music opportunity in order to be together. From that could spring regrets, and what-ifs, and resentment, and we both know why we became musicians and what we value most. So at the least, we can both agree on that. And we've built our relationship knowing that this could happen. Now it's time to put it to the test.

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This whole thing has been one of the biggest blindsides I've ever experienced.

I have not applied for anything musical since the pandemic started. What would be the point? All the shows were closed and there was no telling when or how things would start back up again. Disney laid off something like 95% of its live entertainment, and still hasn't hired them back. Not to mention that even before the pandemic hit, it wasn't like my phone was ringing off the hook for gigs, which is kind of why I ended up focusing on a career in court reporting instead. It never occurred to me that I'd be doing anything in music any time soon.

This opportunity came about because of a Letter of Inquiry email that I sent back in 2019. Some music coordinator found that email (how do you go about finding a two-year-old email? maybe she searched her inbox for "trombone"?) and reached out because they must REALLY need a trombonist. I got that email on my last night of visiting family in PA. I couldn't believe it...in fact I messaged the sender on facebook because we are acquaintances and I was concerned that her account had been hacked, because there was no way this was real. But no, she called right away on the actual phone and said, I'm serious, are you interested? Well...I guess I am!

After that it was a lot of resumes and references and audition materials back and forth, then a whole lot of suspense waiting to see if I'd be offered a contract. As it turns out, I have some really amazing references (thank you Brett, Jane, Jim) who probably clinched the deal for me. So I got the offer, and a few weeks later I got the contract.

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And so now here we are.

Assuming everything doesn't fall apart, I'd leave in a few months. So there are things I'm doing now to prepare, but I also need to keep working and taking steno classes and going about life as though nothing has changed. Which is so weird.

Now you're all caught up with the exception of what show + details, and hopefully some of my vaguejournaling makes a little more sense.
We can all enjoy details later once the show has been announced.

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The first things I did when I realized that this was actually happening was to send my passport out for renewal, and also request a copy of my birth certificate. I don't technically need either for this tour, but having those things ready can really save your a$$ if they do become needed. Plus you need one or the other to get TSA PreCheck, which I'm told may also save my a$$.

Next I made All The Doctors Appointments, because trying to get one on the road is a pain. Better to be up to date before I leave.

I worked on getting my trombone parts, and once those were obtained, started practicing.
I've been doing a lot of research by trolling facebook groups for touring musicians, and have made a huge list of all the things I'll have to take care of. What will happen with my car? Will I be able to practice steno still? How much, and what, should I pack?

That last one is something I can work on at least, and so once I'd made a pretty extensive list I started to purchase a few things that could come in handy.

For one thing, I have never owned a neck pillow. With nine months of travel ahead of me, I think now is the time.

I was going to pack one set of dishes--plate, bowl, silverware, cup--out of what we already have in the cabinets. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much ceramic plates and coffee mugs and metal silverware weigh (I gotta stay below 50 pounds in my checked bag, remember). I considered plastic, but most of those dishes are surprisingly non-microwavable, and that is a must in this situation. I ended up deciding on a mess kit made from polyeurethane. It's super light and compact, the mug collapses, and the plate and bowl seal together to form a tupperware (so now I won't have to pack that either). When the container is empty on travel days I'll probably use it to store kitchen spices.

I bought two sets of travel cubes (not pictured, they're boring) so I'll have two large, two medium, and two small cubes to work with. I'd hesitated to buy them, but pretty much every touring musician has suggested them. If each large cube has a weeks' worth of stuff in it, and the mediums and smalls are used for toiletries or cooking supplies or dirty laundry or whatever, I can just pull out the cube(s) I need for one week and leave the rest in the suitcase undisturbed rather than having to dig around and repack constantly.

Two more items of interest: laundry detergent sheets, and an immersion heater.
I found the sheets on amazon by accident, and was thrilled. Even laundry pods weigh more than these and require some sort of container in case of leaks. These I can treat like paper. And there are 32 loads in there! Plus, there are lots of reviews on them from musicians who have loved them on tour so I know they must work!

The immersion heater I learned about on the cruise ship while I was trying to smuggle a hot water kettle into my quarters (technically we weren't supposed to have those). It's basically a metal rod that performs the same function as a heating coil on an oven stovetop. You stick it in your cup of coffee or water or whatever, and in a few minutes you've got boiling water. Far more compact than a water kettle, and far more versatile. I felt that this was a must-have.

Other things that I bought include a black fleece jacket (for easy layering while not looking frumpy), a luggage scale, a bathing suit, and a trombone cup mute. Bringing mutes is going to suck, they're the exact size and shape of an empty wine bottle and take up SO much space in luggage. I may ask the show admin if I can mail them to the rehearsal venue, along with my steno machine. Wastes of space!
There is more that I will inevitably have to buy, but I think it'll be mostly small supplemental things (ziploc bags, batteries, socks, stuff like that). I'm glad to have these components in my hands and checked off the list.

At some point this week my birth certificate copy arrived, so now I have an appointment to get the PreCheck sorted out. The passport check has also been processed so hopefully I'll get that back soon too. I've also started clearing out my garden, taking unneeded stuff to the thrift store, and looking into car storage options or possibly lending it to a friend (with a contract of course).

It's a lot of cautious prep while waiting for more paperwork and information. There's still a lot of time, and being patient is key. But I've been VERY excited, and it's been hard not to say anything! So I wanted to at least spit out what I'm actually doing, which hopefully does not generate problems for anybody.

Moving on...

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Having made the brioche dough the night before, I felt comfortable sleeping in.
I got up around 9:30 and had breakfast. It was a little blustery due to Elsa passing through, but otherwise the weather was just normal Florida weather.

I started assembling the chocolate filling after Jameson got up and while sipping my hot coffee.
It was cream, sugar, cocoa powder, vanilla, and butter.
I also added some instant coffee to help enhance the flavor of the chocolate (because I watch too much Food Network and they're always saying to add coffee to chocolate), but I added a little too much. Someone online had suggested between 2-4 teaspoons, and I went with two. But when I stop to consider that 1 tsp coffee makes about one cup, one would have been enough. It's not ruined, but now I can taste the coffee in there so it's become a chocolate coffee babka. Whuuuups.

When the filling was made I let it cool in the fridge, and rolled the brioche dough out on the counter. I tried to get it as thin as I could, but more practice is needed with that. Also the fudge ended up being a LOT of fudge, and it was pretty thick, so I found getting lots of swirls to be a little difficult. Oh well, it's a first try.

When the filling had been spread I rolled up my dough and chilled it for a minute, then cut the roll in half lengthwise and twisted the two halves together, cramming them into a bread pan. It looks nice...I wonder how it will turn out!

Then it was into the microwave with a hot mug of water to proof, while I ran to Target for La Croix and batteries and something for dinner tonight. I've never been deeply into seltzer water, but sometimes I get that craving for fizzy drinks. The nice thing about La Croix is, they don't add acid to it, so it doesn't hurt my stomach.

Back home we had lunch, then Jameson got to work on the Christmas production music he's doing for a friend while I kind of lazed around, feeling rather unmotivated. I did make two doctors' appointments, one for my PCP and one for the OBGYN, just because I'm due for regular exams. When the bread was ready I threw it in the oven, then forgot to put on the egg wash so pulled it out, then saw that the chocolate was running everywhere so opened the oven again to put a pan under the loaf in case of leaks. So now the bread probably has to bake for like 10 minutes longer, sigh.

While it was baking I wrote some letters to friends and family, and listened to some music related to Stuff and Things.
Finally the babka was done:

Looks pretty good! It was good that I thought to shove a sheet tray under the pan because chocolate leaked EVERYWHERE. Maybe next time, a different recipe for the filling so it won't go all over. Still, some babkas are like that, it's just your personal preference. This one looked great and tastes great too. I'm very happy with it.

I cut up half the loaf to bring to my coworkers (shhh don't tell, we're not supposed to be sharing food re: covid) and bagged the rest, then went into steno class. I still suck but felt glad that I'd practiced, I was at least able to keep up.

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Monday was a day of errands for mom and I.

First we cleaned up the back office, removing the legs from the big heavy lounge chair and lugging it out to the living room.
We swept and vacuumed and brought in a child-sized bed for Elliotte (my sister Kayle's toddler).
We took down the sheer curtains in the room and put up some heavier ones to block more light so Elliotte can sleep better.
And we took lots of quilts and pillows down to the basement to wash so that everyone can use them.

Then we went to Big Lots for a kiddie pool, but go figure, even though the section had been full just a few days ago it was now almost empty. I guess a sign that July 4th is getting closer. We bought another less awesome pool instead, then went to Walmart to check for pools there and pick up some other necessities: outlet safety caps, hand wipes, lint rollers, baby detergent, other stuff I can't remember. I was patient and didn't rush my mom. Also, I want to point out that she lives in a VERY rural area and "going to Walmart" means a 15 minute drive on the highway out of town.

After Walmart mom took me to a factory outlet store that she knew of, on the outside it looks like an unassuming warehouse but inside it's actually a kitchen store! I had mentioned that I needed a few small things for the kitchen--a dough scraper, tongs with silicone grips, and a metal ladle--but I haven't been able to find all three in the same store back in Orlando and had hesitated to order them because they're so cheap for the shipping. As it turned out, this place had all three! The ladle I mostly wanted so I can more easily skim fat off pot roasts and soups (chilling the ladle and then skimming it on the surface of soups/liquids solidifies the fats so you can just lift them right out) and the tongs I wanted because we only have one pair, and we use them so frequently that I often find myself washing them multiple times throughout the day so we can use them again. But I was mainly excited about the dough scraper, which only cost $1.50 and will make handling and shaping bread dough much easier.

Bonus: I found an opaque straight-sided container with measurement markings on the sides and a lid, perfect for letting dough rise because it will rise straight up and you can see exactly when it has doubled in size. When it's rising in a metal or ceramic bowl you have to guesstimate. Very excited for these simple tools that'll help with lots of things :)

Then we had lunch at Applebee's and went to a popcorn-and-ice cream-and-candy store, where I picked up a container of "buffalo bleu" popcorn for Jameson and a few scoops of Hershey's Ice Cream for us! Mom got dark chocolate raspberry and Almond Joy, I had banana pudding. We both agreed that the banana pudding was excellent.

Back home we put everything away, and I dug through some dusty family photo albums as I sometimes do when home for a visit.
I found two pictures of my grandfather and posted them online. I've seen these pictures before, but didn't have much info on them and our family is not close for me to ask.

In this photo my grandfather is clearly posing for a boxing photo. I knew he was a boxer but didn't know at what skill level or for how long or anything like that. Shortly after posting this photo my Uncle Mark chimed in to tell me that yes, this was my grandpa Bill O'Malley, and he had been a boxer for the U.S. Army (had no idea they had a military boxing program?!), and that the picture was taken in Panama.

In this photo my grandfather is wearing his military uniform, standing outside a church.

My dad says that he wasn't a fighting soldier, but rather a radar and/or radio installation personnel of some sort who eventually ended up training others to assemble and disassemble radio/radar equipment in short periods of time.
My uncle says the photo was taken in Newark, NJ, but I've been unable to find out what church this was.
After asking around online, a friend who is a military buff told me that the patch on his uniform indicates he was part of the Armed Air Forces, which interestingly predated the USAF.

The Army Air Force (AAF) is actually a pretty interesting and unique military division...it's not what you think, that's for sure.

According to Wikipedia:

"In its expansion and conduct of the war, the AAF became more than just an arm of the greater organization. By the end of World War II, the Army Air Forces had become virtually an independent service. By regulation and executive order, it was a subordinate agency of the United States Department of War (as were the Army Ground Forces and the Army Service Forces) tasked only with organizing, training, and equipping combat units, and limited in responsibility to the continental United States. In reality, Headquarters AAF controlled the conduct of all aspects of the air war in every part of the world, determining air policy and issuing orders without transmitting them through the Army Chief of Staff."

See? Interesting.

Unfortunately, my grandpa died long before I ever got to meet him. In his mid-30s he had an aneurism, and that was that.
My dad was only eleven years old at the time, so it was surely traumatic for him. He rarely talks about family, but my uncle Mark is usually more willing to fill in details when he notices I'm asking questions. We also once had an "O'Malley family reunion", in which those of us who are directly related got together and someone painstakingly pieced together a family tree that actually goes pretty far back. After discussing these photos today, uncle Mark offered to send my sister and I a copy of that family tree. I'll look forward to seeing that!

A family history is something that I wish I could get from the Japanese side of my family, but that's never going to happen. I wouldn't even know how to begin researching those connections; the only thing I know for sure is that my Obaa-chan lived in Hokkaido, was bullied and abused (potentially for having strongly Ainu features), and became a war bride in order to get out of Japan and start a new life in the US. My aunt once mentioned that her father (my great-grandfather) was some sort of skilled surgeon or doctor, and that his surname was "Akaoka" or something similar, but I've been unable to find a thing about any of it. Language barriers and whatnot.

Anyway, it's always fun to learn about your ancestors and appreciate their lives, and how they're connected, past to present.

In the evening I had steno class, my first one since going on this vacation. Internet service is a little iffy out here, so there were times when my audio dropped out, but I was able to fully participate for the two hours. I did ok, but am still just maintaining a holding pattern. Go figure, next week is summer break and I won't be able to turn in any more work because I'll be driving back to Florida, returning on the final day before the school closes for the break. Welp...guess I'm stuck in 100wpm for the next round. I'll just have to do my best and hope two attempts at this is all I'll need.

Tuesday, the reality began to sink in that my visit is almost over.
Mom and I took care of some things around the house, then I paid my sisters and newborn nephew a final visit.
I brought them bagel sandwiches made at a local bagel shop, they were delicious and we enjoyed them while talking about all sorts of random things together. Poor Kate has had it rough with little Declan, he has been ravenous and is either feeding or crying or needing his diaper changed every ten minutes. Hopefully he'll fall into a routine soon so Kate can catch a break.

Meanwhile though it was good to catch up, while distracting her from her sore boobs.
We actually ended up talking about bread a lot, partially because I've been baking bread and so has Kate's husband and he wanted to pick my brain about it because he's had struggles, and partly because bread (and pastries) are fun to talk about, and partly because our mother was trying to become a baker in her last years before cancer ended her life. My sisters were very encouraging of my "Dough-Malley" idea, and found it pretty funny, as well as a potential moneymaker if I can come up with my own recipes based around my sourdough starter. Homemade sourdough bread is pretty difficult to find in Orlando, and also in my hometown. I have no intention of monetizing when I've just now learned how to make bread, but did appreciate their input and will keep it in mind if somehow my bread turns out good enough to sell, YEARS from now.

Partway through the visit I excused myself outside to try and dig up a common milkweed plant or two.
It turned out to be much harder than expected not only because the taproot was so dang deep, but also because there were loads of large rocks mixed in with the soil and digging them up was torture, plus the taproot was wound between them so tightly that it was impossible to dig it out without breaking it. It was very quickly clear that this was a fool's errand, but I dug up two anyway and stuck them in a pot with native dirt and potting soil. Tomorrow we will see how they're doing and decide whether I'm dragging them all the way to Florida (I suspect not).

Back inside I realized a bit too late that I probably couldn't hold Declan now because I'd been digging in who-knows-what. But that's ok, I'm not good with babies. After a bit more good conversation with my sisters I said my goodbyes and drove back to my parents' house. There I packed up most of my belongings, wiped down my vintage folding bike and stashed it in the car, worked on some steno homework so I can at least submit SOMETHING, and then sat outside with my parents for a bit admiring the ceiling fans that my dad finished installing today.

My 1970s solid steel folding bike with chrome accents, purchased while with the circus to help lug my groceries back to the train.

Now I'm spending my final night in the guest bedroom.
Tomorrow mom and I will go get groceries for Kayle and her family, and do some last-minute cleaning, then dad and I will drive to Philly to get them from the airport. We'll bring hoagies for dinner for them and us, and when we get home Kayle and her husband will get the guest bedroom, Elliotte will have the back room, and I'll sleep on the couch (it's a VERY comfortable couch, I don't mind at all). Then early in the morning on Thursday I'll leave to begin my long trek back to Florida.

Wish us all safe travels.

Sunday was Father's Day, and so I spent it with my parents.

We went to church in the morning, something I never do unless I'm home for a visit or unless someone invites me, which never happens.
Their church is kind of a "start-up", not held in any kind of established church-building but rather in an old landscaping property that has been poked and prodded into serving churchy purposes over the years. This is kind of nice, because it's less ostentatious than a traditional church and therefore more appealing to those who leave church due to the spending of tithing on, say, matching drapes or elaborate stained glass. Church, real church, isn't about any of that stuff. In that way I appreciate my parents' church.

The service was about an hour, and then we drove out to Lewisburg for a fancy Italian dinner, my treat.
I always wish that my parents would take advantage of me at these times. Get a bottle of nice Italian wine! Order the lobster!
But no, they always get pretty much the same foods and drinks. Not to save me any money, mind, but because that's just the people they are. Simple and low-maintenance. The food was very good, I had littleneck clams in butter garlic sauce, they had lasagna and eggplant parm. I had a glass of white wine, they had Coke and water. My mom did get homemade tiramisu for dessert, which I was glad about.

And I was glad for the wine so I could finally relax a little! Sheesh.
It's hard to relax around my parents, to be honest. But that's a story for another day. Let's not spoil the nice visit with recollections.

After digesting a bit we went to Country Cupboard, which is kind of like an expanded Cracker Barrel-slash-smorgasbord-slash-gift shop, featuring a lot of real or imitation Pennsylvania Dutch stuff that tourists would like. The food is ok, I've eaten there before. The bakery is actually pretty on point, but unfortunately since the pandemic has affected their sales they've scaled back on a lot of the freshly-baked items. For example, they were completely out of Amish-made pies and whoopie pies. This could have also been because it was a Sunday, or because it was Father's Day.

(picture stolen from the interwebs because I was In The Moment and not taking pictures on this trip. None of this stuff was available in the bakery today.)

I still had a nice mild buzz so was cheerfully chatting with my mom while she shopped, and I helped her pick out some succulents from the greenhouse. Dad helped me find the buckwheat honey (always on my souvenir list!) and I also picked up two pieces of white chocolate shaped like deviled eggs and a bag of handmade Amish peanut brittle for Jameson.

We drove home, stopping at my sister's friend's house for some baby gear for when my California-based sister gets into town in a few days. At home we rested a bit, then I did more steno while my parents worked on various chores. When I had uploaded everything for steno (except tests, because why take tests if I'm only going to fail them, imo) I worked on this blog and considered some things for my trip, such as how to get frozen whoopie pies all the way to Florida without issue (mom's idea, not mine) and what time I'd likely be arriving at the tire shop in North Carolina. I heard our neighbors talking to my parents outside so went out to say hello, then got a shower and had a light dinner of turkey, eggs, tomatoes, pickles, a small apple...and half a whoopie pie :)

It was a nice eventful day and a good way to spend time with my parents.

After another night in a random hotel, I woke up, had breakfast, and hit the road.
I landed in Richmond in order to get a matching tire for my unexpected new tire.
For those who didn't know, when you buy tires you're supposed to buy all four at once, or at least buy them in pairs, and also ensure that they're the same brand/style so that they will wear evenly. Buying random tires at random times, or different brands of tires to be used simultaneously, can cause uneven wear, alignment and shock/strut problems, etc. Or so I've been told.

I've been driving several hundred miles with three nearly-done tires and one brand new tire. This is not ideal for my car.
The least I could do is get a second new tire so that they'll wear evenly.

I found a shop in Richmond that could get the tires in, and they were able to put it on in under 30 minutes.
I promised to come back on my way back down to FL for two more new tires. Then I hit the road again.

Being in Richmond was nostalgic. Because of the circus.
There are between 40-80 major cities across the US that I visited during my five years with the circus.
In any of those cities, there are areas that as soon as I set foot in them, it's like a map opens up in my mind.
I suddenly know that around that corner, there's a monument of a hunter holding a duck and a hidden glassblowing shop.
Or in this case, in Richmond, I knew that the section of highway I was passing over had an art installation hanging directly underneath the overpass I was on. Because I had walked there and had seen it from below. After getting the tire put on I drove to a nearby Kroger and when I pulled into the parking lot, felt the map open up in my mind, the map I had forgotten was there. I knew that there was a university one block over, and a Whole Foods just about a mile away in the opposite direction, and had a sense of which way to walk to reach the arena where we had performed all those years ago.

Ah. Nostalgia hurts.

From there I basically drove straight home, stopping only for gas and potty breaks.
I finally arrived around dinnertime, right before my dad got home from work.
My mom (she's my stepmom, but I think it's fair to call her "mom") showed me her garden, which is much larger than the last time I saw it. She now has big beautiful fig trees, and a peach tree just covered in fuzzy little preformed peaches, and irises and sunflowers and loads of other great plants. I even found a baby praying mantis on her strawberries!

We ate BLTs and caught up a little bit, then collectively decided to do some chores as we all had work to catch up on: my dad needed to finish putting siding on part of the roof, my mom needed to plant her herbs because they've started to wilt, and I needed to do at least some steno practice as I've now missed two classes. We reconvened about an hour later and sat outside for a bit, enjoying the mid-70s weather. I didn't sweat at all! How glorious.

The next morning I woke up nice and energetic, having had three full nights of sleep in a row! What a concept.
I was enlisted to help out at the local charity, which is called Agape. My parents are both heavily involved in it; my dad made the logo.

My mom runs the kitchen operations, deciding what to cook for the volunteers who work to sort and stock and distribute donations all day. Because they need to eat too. Today's menu was BLTs, burgers, or taco salad, and sides of mac and cheese or roasted veggies. I helped to prepare the food, and then helped to serve it. It was surprising how long it took to prepare all that food even with like ten of us in the kitchen. We served probably about 50 people, then had to clean up and give out the leftovers. We had started around 9:30am, and by the time it was all said and done it was about 2:30pm. Sheesh. I wish she were getting paid. But she does get a lot of free food from it, so there's that.

Back home it was more food prep because we were going to visit my sister Kate, who just had her baby a week and a half early. She's vegetarian, so we wanted to make her some vegetarian food. We brought a lot of leftover mac and cheese from Agape, and supplemented with our own roasted vegetables, and a "buffalo dip" made using cream cheese, hot sauce, and shredded jackfruit served on naan bread. By the time we were done making it dad was home from work, and we all drove over to her house together.

My sister lives in a huge house up on a hill, owned by some locals who use it to store their junk while they travel the world or something. She's lived there for at least a decade, and has thought about/planned to/tried to move out several times, but somehow always ends up staying where she is. I can understand why, it's a REALLY nice house, and it would be hard to find another so ideally constructed and located without building it yourself (which under the constrictions and volatility of the post-covid world, is not a possibility for them).

Anyway, as we came up the front step I admired both her wild and domestic garden. She has blackberries and mint and all kinds of wildflowers growing naturally, and then has planted misc herbs and veggies. Being in such a remote area, there is tons of wildlife and just a natural abundance that is beautiful to see.

Inside Kate came to meet us holding Declan, her son, my nephew. What a strange thing, to see him there in person.
And my sister too! It's been almost two years!! She looks amazing as always, though I'm sure she'd like more sleep!
Declan is a "good" baby for the most part, but like any baby he has his moments and doesn't always stick to a routine.

My mom took a turn holding him, and then it was my turn.

My dad kindly took the photos.
While holding him and looking at him, I wasn't thinking at all about how he carries our mother's DNA.
I guess now that he's here, he's more than something so abstract. He's his own person, and although I hope to see elements of our mother in him, I won't be actively expecting them. It is nice that her line can continue on, that's all.

I also didn't feel one molecule of maternal instinct/desire/emotion. Kate began wanting a child from the moment she held Elliotte, our sister's baby. I have no idea what it's like to WANT a child. Never have I ever. I didn't even play with dolls or baby dolls as a kid, and never once had an interest in children or child-rearing. Babysitting was a job from hell, I would have much rather cleaned an entire house than spent a few hours alone with some kid.

But you get the idea. Better her than me. Declan is beautiful, and I am sure he will grow up to be an amazing person!

We had dinner together, which was very nice and very much needed. It's been way too long for everyone.
We only stayed for a few hours because the baby needed to be fed and changed and Kate and Pat looked very tired as all new parents do.
As we were leaving, we saw a doe and her fawn out in the yard. I took this quick video of the inquisitive fawn.

https://instagram.com/p/CQPlIFLnhNb

The next day, I have to admit I was getting a little bit anxious about having missed two steno classes and not having submitted any work to make up for it. This anxiety impacted my interactions with my mom for the day; I had offered to take her out on her errands, but she always takes SO LONG with everything. We seriously spent a whole five minutes comparing the price of oatmeal by weight and volume at Walmart. Exasperated, I complained that it's just oatmeal, how is it worth spending so much time hyperventilating over whatever fraction of a cent you might save by buying this-or-that brand? Who cares? Just buy the damned oatmeal so we can move on!

She was patient with me, and after my outburst, reminded me that because she can't see (she has glaucoma) she can't drive.
Because she can't drive, she must rely on others to help with her grocery shopping and errands.
And because of this dependence, she is embarrassed to ask, she doesn't like to inconvenience others, and so doesn't get to shop very often at all, ANYWHERE.

Grocery shopping, which is something I take very much for granted, is a special outing for her.
She doesn't get to take her time and enjoy shopping, even for something stupid like oatmeal.
So when she does get to go, it's a big deal for her, and she does take a lot more time than a normal person would.
I knew this, but I didn't KNOW this. I didn't think about it, and I wasn't considerate about it.
Yes, I have to do my steno. But I'm not going to get kicked out of school for not doing it, or for turning in the work late.
My mom can only have a full day of shopping when I'm here. My sisters can't even help with that any more because they've got kids now, and the kids' needs come first. So I'm IT, when I'm in town. Which is basically never.

I felt very bad after this, and apologized. And was forgiven of course, but I am definitely going to keep a lid on my attitude for the rest of the week when it comes to taking her on her errands. I wanted to help her, and I want it to be a pleasure for her, not a stressful outing that I ruin with my school anxiety.

After running errands there was plenty of time for me to work on steno. I was able to submit one class and get started on the homework, which is more than I had expected to get done. Then when my dad got home from work my parents treated me to China Buffet! Yes, its very crappy Americanized Chinese food. But that's exactly why it's such a treat! It's something I would never normally eat. In fact, I can't remember the last time I went to a China Buffet, but it was years ago, at least five years. I enjoyed all of my bad-for-you favorites like egg custard cup, buttery flounder, honeyed chicken, stuffed mushrooms, and crispy green beans (I wish I could make these myself but never seem to get it right). I also got to try frog legs because they had them for some reason!

They were pretty good, tasted almost exactly like chicken but a little chewier, kind of like chicken thigh meat.
I would have preferred a different seasoning, but as it was I ate the whole leg and enjoyed it.

In the evening I drove out to Wilkes-Barre to pick up my sister Raven from the bus stop, she came in from NYC.
She works in some administrative capacity for Vox magazine, and was very stressed out because it's a bad time for her to be away from work.
I listened to all the stresses she's experienced recently, and shared some of my own, and we both comiserated about some of the small-town racism and closed-mindedness we had already experienced in Bloomsburg, me in the last few days, her in just the few short hours she'd been on the bus. Apparently a lot of locals have some kind of personal problem with "Juneteenth" being declared a federal holiday. I guess they're already seeing a Juneteenth tax coming out of their paychecks? Perhaps a black person has come and taken their money directly out of their pockets, or food out of their childrens' mouths, using Juneteenth as an excuse?

I love my hometown, and there are many beautiful things about it. But a lot of the locals are such racist, backwards BABIES.
If you are a full-grown adult man, and you have time to bawl to your neighbors about an event that has zero impact on your actual life, maybe it's time to take a step back and think about what kind of person you are. But these people won't.

Anyway, I got her safely to Kate's house and then booked it back to my parents' house, where they had a full-on bonfire going in the backyard.
It was a cool mid-70s evening, lovely breeze, and the warmth of the fire and smell of the firewood was wonderful. It was nice to just sit and talk and enjoy their company.

En route to bed I texted Jameson to see how he's doing. I know he's probably up a lot later and eating not so great (always happens when I leave for extended periods) but he needs space to be himself, too. He's doing gigs at Epcot this weekend, and hopefully staying hydrated.

Today, Saturday, my parents are out running errands while I type this up and then do some more steno.
Eventually I'll head over to Kate's to spend time with her and my brother and sister and nephew, for lunch and probably most of the afternoon.
Tonight I'll hopefully get to do some more steno, because everything is due tomorrow and although I won't get everything done, I'd like to submit as much as I can. On that note, off I go.

PS, here is the handmade quilt on my parents' bed.

Aah, the weekend.

I got up earlier than I wanted to, but that's what happens when you have bread to bake.

Honestly, as tired as I am, and as much as I always need the sleep, having a few hours of quiet in the early morning is almost just as good to have. The house is still cool, the hot Florida sun hasn't yet broken through the haze of humidity, and I can see what I need to see with just ambient outdoor light. I prepare my mise en place, taking my time, each ingredient on the scale and into a small dish or measuring cup while the kettle heats on the stove. I add the yeast to a bowl of warm water or milk and honey so it can wake and bloom, and I pour myself fresh hot coffee so I can wake and bloom, too. I add the dry ingredients and mix the dough by hand, feeling when the lumps are gone and the dough is smooth and sticky.

And after that is usually when I start f*cking things up. Lol.

But seriously, it's really nice, to take my time and just enjoy the process.
To have just a few hours where I'm not supposed to be at work, or rushing to finish chores so I can practice steno.
To drink my coffee slowly from a mug, instead of gulping it between potholes on the way to work.

So if I'm such a terrible person for wanting that time to myself--for demanding it each week--then I guess I'm a terrible person.
I guess the Peanut Gallery can tisk away about how I choose to spend my time for a few hours each week. I'll probably never understand why it should matter to anyone else, or how me baking bread once a week warrants commentary at all. And I'll probably still get upset and defensive from time to time. But I'm still going to have time to myself like this. Because to some extent, I'm a Person, and I'm allowed.

Anyway, I had intended to make another brioche using an online recipe, but I overworked the dough and ended up having to throw it out. So instead I simply moved to the next recipe in my book, which is "Orange Blossom Brioche". It's the same brioche recipe as last week but with orange zest, orange blossom water, and wildflower honey instead of sugar. I hadn't wanted to make this loaf because I didn't think it would be a flavor I'd like. But we live in Florida, so really, how could I skip the ORANGE bread?

I made it exactly as instructed, with one very small deviation: I added just a little vanilla in place of a little of the orange water (which was optional anyway).

About the orange water, it wasn't available in any stores near me, so I had ordered it on Amazon around 5am, and it arrived that same evening around 5pm. Isn't technology amazing? Also, is Amazon hoarding orange water? Lol.

I first mixed the milk, honey, yeast, and eggs to let the yeast activate for a few minutes. Then I added the vanilla, orange water, and softened butter, whisking it until the butter was broken into smaller chunks. I poured the flour on top, and the salt and orange zest on top of that, then mixed it all together by hand. It rested for 30 minutes while I ate breakfast, then I kneaded it on the floured countertop for about 10 minutes at which point it was still sticky, but more firm and stretchy. Brioche dough is always stickier than regular dough due to all the sugar and butter.

( Read more... )

Here we go again!

Friday! Work! The same old!

I had a monitor calibration. This is when my supervisor watches me watching a captionist to see how I score their work, and correcting me on it if needed. It's supposed to make the process more fair. It went "ok", although the person I was monitoring got a poor score. I selected her specifically because I thought that might happen, she's pretty new out of training and just now qualified to learn our new captioning program, so it was not surprising that there was a lot of confusion and poor call handling from her while she was trying to figure everything out. She's not my captionist so not someone I'd normally monitor. I tried to coach her in a supportive way, because learning both the programs and then how to handle switching back and forth can take some practice, and I felt she was putting in a good effort, just getting overwhelmed.

Getting home was hell, it's definitely a holiday weekend. Finally made it around 6pm, ate dinner with Jameson, he took off to rehearsal, I cleaned up a little because he's having friends over tomorrow, made some mint mojito popsicles in an effort to use at least some of the mint before it dies, vacuumed, watered the plants, wiped down the bathrooms, did dishes, packed my lunch, got my clothes ready, and after all that, finally, at 8:40pm, got to practice steno. Stuck with it for the full hour+, got a shower and did a few more chores that I'd forgotten about (empty the trash cans, put out a new hand towel for guests, etc), then finally got to relax for a few minutes before falling half asleep and getting woken up by Jameson coming home around midnight.

But all I need to do is stop baking bread and there will be SO much more time for steno, right Peanut Gallery?

Probably got about four hours of sleep, then wash rinse repeat except after work I stopped at the gym, eating a light dinner in the car during the hour drive. If I want to get exercise, this is the only way it's going to happen on my current schedule. Going to the gym after work on Saturday or Sunday will be best because traffic will be lighter, I usually get home around 5:15 on those days so if I can get to the gym at that same time and get on a machine by 5:25, I can be out of there by 5:55 and still get home just a little later than I would on a typical weekday. It worked out well today, so I'll try again next week. Did the elliptical for 15 minutes and weights for 10, 5 minutes to pack up and leave. I'd like to spend more time but, steno.

So I came home, got cleaned up, unpacked my lunch dishes and washed them, packed my lunch, got my clothes ready, had a snack, practiced steno for an hour's worth of "time that counts" (90 minutes of actual practice) and then allowed myself to stop around 8:30pm, a half hour early, so I could wind down, feeling all guilty about it because here I am complaining that I don't have enough time for steno but taking 30 whole minutes to myself instead of practicing more.

Sunday, one of my favorite work days because there are no supervisors onsite at least until 2pm.
Not that I behave any differently when they're not around, it just makes for a more relaxing work environment. It's the only day of the week where I KNOW my boss is not there to ask me, "Hey, why didn't you do this task back in October?" or "Here's an audit of everything you did last month, you need to improve xyz." 99% of the mistakes I make at work are exhaustion-based, and there is extremely little I can do about it besides drink more coffee and tea.

Anyway, I drank water.

It was a slow day, which was nice. Back home I had dinner and made the rest of the quickly-staleing brioche into French toast to pack in my lunch, then packed it, ate dinner with Jameson, he went to rehearsal, I practiced steno and even did two tests in which I got an 82% and an 86%. I guess that's a small improvement.

Monday, because it was a holiday where people don't necessarily call each other up, it was very slow at work. I was grateful but also bored. When the day was over I got a lot of the groceries I'll need for breads and dinners, then came home. Ate dinner with Jameson and thought I'd try an overnight brioche recipe because doing it overnight would allow me more time throughout my day. Unfortunately I overworked the dough because I still have no idea what I'm doing, and instead of rising it just weeped butter for an hour until it was a dough ball sitting in a puddle of oil instead of doubling in size. Lesson learned, I guess. At least I screwed up 24 hours earlier than usual so I'll still be able to start over with the brioche from my lesson book instead.

Working on that dough took two hours, so I totally missed any steno practice (Bronx cheers and loud "I told you so's" from the Peanut Gallery). Since it's a holiday I'll forgive myself, but that doesn't mean I wasn't mad. I was. Now I have to do extra steno Tuesday and over the weekend.

Tuesday was supposed to be my much-treasured work from home day. But right away I knew something was wrong. Citrix kept asking for my password--which I gave--and it kept saying nope, that's not it. Well, I have no other password for Citrix but the one I've always used. Luckily I had set up Office on this actual computer rather than the remote desktop, so was able to access my company email and see that everyone working from home was experiencing the same issue.

Surprisingly they let us wait it out for about two hours, during which time I frantically packed a lunch and practiced steno, knowing that the problem would not be resolved and I'd be driving an hour to work and back, losing yet another day of steno. This is how tight my schedule is, one change, one little thing throws the whole thing off and I lose my time. So yep, got called in, went in and was cranky about it because now in addition to losing my WFH day I also had to pay $5 in tolls to avoid Disney traffic, and had to fill up my gas tank, and lost two hours of my day to the commute, and lost three hours of work so I'd have to spend the rest of the workday playing catchup.

Which I did rather well if I may say so, I did all of my assigned work in half the time. I'm sure many errors will be discovered later, but the choice was to get it done with errors or to have to delegate it to someone else.

After work I drove like a maniac to get home because
A) Jameson had rehearsal earlier than usual and I wanted to make sure I got dinner to him before he left;
B) Since my brioche failed I decided to do the next lesson book recipe, which is an "orange blossom" brioche requiring orange zest and orange flower water, and I needed to pick up both, and
C) I was irritated and wanted to drive fast. And a greyish-blue Corolla is like 99% invisible to cops.

At home we ate and Jameson left for rehearsal. His show is in just two weeks...it's June already, damn.
Time has sped up now that covid has loosened it's grip.
I checked on my plants and practiced as much steno as I could handle (which wasn't much the way this week has been going) and had a large glass of wine. I should mention that I could not find orange flower water ANYWHERE--there are some international groceries that probably carry it, but taking that route home would have cost me 15-20 minutes of commute time--so I had ordered it from Amazon Prime in the morning while waiting to get called in. It was delivered tonight, and I'll be able to use it first thing tomorrow. The most First-World Thing Ever, to be able to order something not available in stores and have it delivered that same evening. I was lowkey amazed.

Finally, I received a very long email from my steno teacher.
About a week ago, I had emailed her out of frustration. I wanted to seriously, sincerely ask her: what else can I do? Here is my schedule, where else could I cram more steno practice? How are other students meeting the 10 hours per-week minimum when only half our practice time counts? I expressed my frustration, and how I was worried about my progress.

Here is a portion of her response:

"Everybody is different in the time they have to spend on [steno], and practicing in general, and the responsibilities they have. Some folks can treat school like their job, while others have actual jobs. Try not to compare yourself in that regard since practicing and the time you have to do it is very subjective. All you can ever do is the best you can in all areas, and you're the only one who knows what that is. That's where accountability comes into play. Your best efforts will always bring rewards.
"As for everything else you have going on, it looks like a full plate to me. And you should never compromise on having some time to yourself. This is a very demanding program as it is, and you need those moments to unwind, especially when you have such a full day. I don't know how to stress to you that you can only do what you can do. Yes, sacrifices have to be made sometimes, and if you're really concerned you could maybe use a couple of days a week to work in that 9:30 to 10:30 time slot. But when you start taking away time from yourself or your family and friends, it does tend to wear on you. And I don't want you to start not liking the course or doubt your ability to do it. If your time is limited to practice, do what you can. Will it affect your progress? Maybe, maybe not. In your case, go more for quality than quantity, and that would be breaking down and spending time on drills until you can write them at the required passing percentage."

Wow.
To be clear, I've been SUPER-stressed about meeting the 10-hours-minimum practice requirement because at one point this teacher confronted me about it (in a nice way), asking why I wasn't meeting the school's requirement. It's hard to interpret nuance via emails and texts, so I interpreted her asking as, "You're not trying hard enough" or basically "This is unacceptable", even though all she did was ask. Reading the UNDERLINED part about "quality than quantity" took a huge weight off my shoulders. As a former musician, I absolutely know how to maximize practice time, and I'm doing it. But if all this school cared about was whether I met the "time spent" criteria, well...it was frustrating and stressful to operate with that hanging over my head. And now I know it wasn't...it was just that my teacher was concerned, and wanted to touch base with me. And my insecure self took it the wrong way.

And that's how ruined brioche and stressful unplanned commutes were mitigated by empathy and understanding from one person.
And of course, now I want to try even harder at steno. I probably will never make the 10 hours per week. But now I know, that's OK. I can still progress at my own speed, and that's OK. That was seriously all I needed to hear.

Grateful.

(Suck it, Peanut Gallery! I will bake bread!)

The endless cycle of work -- eat -- sleep -- repeat continues.

Friday, we were profoundly shorthanded with only four supervisors total to cover seven wings of captionists (to give an idea, my wing usually has five supervisors in it alone) and my boss also called out. Luckily it was a relatively slow day, but unfortunately it really was just too much for only four people to handle, so some pitiful souls had to be called in from Work From Home. My heart cringes for them.

I am fortunate because my WFH day is typically Tuesday, which is usually a slow call day plus there are five other people working from home that day, meaning I have much less chance of being called in. I also make it a point, every Monday, to send a nice email or message reminding my bosses that I would appreciate lots of notice if I'm to be called in, because I live an hour away and we are both going to lose an hour of productivity if I have to drive in halfway through my workday. If there are five other people to call (all of whom are guaranteed to live much closer than I), my odds are usually good for being allowed to keep my WFH day.

But, if I do get called in, I'll mope a little and just do it. It's sad, but we were all warned that it was contingent on coverage needs onsite.

After work it took me longer than usual to get home because someone's car broke down(?) in the middle of the three-lane highway and they just LEFT it there, apparently. Traffic was backed up for miles, no cops in sight. Florida!

But I did get home, we ate Chick-fil-a salads and I felt very jealous of Jameson because he'd gotten to go to the gym today. I want to go, too! But when I'm going to start squeezing that in, I have no idea. Definitely on at least one of my days off, ideally both. And then one workday too, probably Saturday or Sunday. That will be rough because I'll either have to get up earlier (4:30am?) or go right at dinnertime after not eating for four hours or so. Maybe on those days I can eat in the car on the way there. Idk.

Jameson had rehearsal, and I wanted to make us some tuna salad for the week and also had to do breakfast prep I'd been too lazy to do over the weekend. And then I got all distracted looking up details on how to make rye bread, because I am suddenly charmed by the idea of making my own rye bread for reubens. Rye is complicated, however, so I may need to wait.

All of this meant starting steno very late, but I still managed to get my homework done by 10pm. Which means I had an hour or so to try and sleep before Jameson returned and kept me up for another hour or two. Not that I mind, I like to hear how rehearsal went and all that. But in general, I wonder if I'll ever have a lifestyle again that allows me to get eight hours of sleep.

Maybe that's why I'm feeling very down lately.
Saturday was just...hard. I've rarely felt less motivated at work. I just kind of stared at what I was supposed to be doing, not thinking anything in particular, other than I wished, very badly, to be able to have a few days to sleep. To read. To go for a walk in the woods. To do anything other than what I've been doing, day after day, for almost two years now.

But there is no sleep. There is no vacation. There's a visit with family in June, and that's all I'll get. And we all know family visits are more about accommodating each other and airing dirty laundry than relaxing.

Another part of it is, in every aspect of life right now, I feel like I'm failing.
Especially steno. Every single day, no matter how hard I try, I can get a max of two hours, and that's if I do FOUR hours of work. I simply do not have that time. I am losing a day this week to a rehearsal for a charity concert I'm performing in, in which I'm expected to do a great job because I was a professional musician. But I haven't played in a year and a half, and I already know this is going to be a very embarrassing experience. I don't know why I said I'd do it. And then my steno teacher will want to know why once again I fell short, and how do I explain to her that I volunteered to do a charity concert this week without it sounding like an excuse, because charity concert or no I STILL never meet the criteria set by the school.

And now I want to go to the gym. I want to get some damned physical activity, for once, omg I just want to take care of myself for a half hour to an hour, three days a week. And I just do not know how I'm going to manage it.

And there seems to be no way out. I HAVE to be in school for SOMETHING, because I have NO SKILLS at the age of 37. I have to go to the gym, we've been paying for the membership all this time, I have no other chance at physical activity except our random walks. I have to do the concert, and try to ignore that the people sitting next to me will be cringing with embarrassment because their loved ones are in the audience and I'm ruining it for others.

And then I'll make bread, or garden, or spend an hour watching stupid youtube videos so I can keep some sanity, and feel guilty about all of it because I SHOULD be doing steno and why aren't I PRACTICING for the concert and couldn't this time be better spent at the gym?

I feel so trapped, this week. So overwhelmed.
Things will get better I'm sure, I'm just ranting here because I can't do it anywhere else.
I just wish I could STOP, for just a few days. I was so grateful for the covid vaccine, because for once, I had a good reason to just STOP and get an actual eight hours of sleep and have ONE DAY of not doing anything at all. I felt awful, but I got to do nothing.

Anyway, Saturday. I stopped at Whole Foods and got rye flour and bread flour, still really jonesing to make that rye loaf. I got us some wings and threw them in the air fryer when I got home, we ordered pizza and watched TV. Well, Jameson watched TV and I cleaned up after dinner, packed my lunch, marked my trombone music, gathered my stuff to take to work and rehearsal, prepped my work clothes and my breakfast, watered my plants in the garden and pollinator garden, and then "just chilled" for about 20 minutes before it was already 8:30 and I needed to start steno or I'd not get any done at all. When I've said, "We ate dinner and relaxed for a bit", THIS is what I'm actually doing when you read my posts and they mention dinner + relaxing afterward. This is my "relaxed for a bit".

When do I ACTUALLY get to relax?

Sunday morning at 6am I emailed my teacher my practice for the week, once again only about half of what the school requires.

To recap:
- Wake up 5:30 or 5:45am
- Eat breakfast and leave for work around 6:45
- Arrive at work 7:20-7:30, brush teeth in the company bathroom
- Work 7:45-4:15
- Commute an hour home, arrive between 5:15-5:45 depending on traffic and whether or not I'm picking up our dinner
- Eat dinner, unpack and repack lunch, prepare work clothes, check garden if needed, shower, spend a max of 30 minutes trying to sit still and have actual time with my boyfriend
- Between 7 and 8pm, start steno practice
- 9:30 stop steno so that I can check email, pay bills, make appointments, etc before bed (remember I cannot have my phone on at work because of confidentiality so I can't do much of this throughout the day)
- 10pm-10:30 try to enjoy 30 minutes to myself if possible
- 10:30 or 11 to midnight, in bed trying to fall asleep while Jameson watches tv.

Do you guys see a point where I can add more steno? Because I don't.
Yes, I DO do more on the weekends, about twice as much. But I will lose my mind if I don't get at least seven hours of sleep once in a while. Or if I can't even eat one meal that's not fast food. Or go for a walk/exercise for just 30 freaking minutes.
What is the solution? I don't have one right now. The only thing I can think of is finding a job closer, so I'm not losing 40 hours per month to the commute (that is NOT an exaggeration, I really do waste 40 hours per week commuting. That's two hours per day I could have back.)

I wish that having QUALITY practice were worth more than the actual hours.
Whatever, I emailed my teacher and that's all I could do.

After work I drove out to some random church and had rehearsal for this concert.
It didn't go as poorly as I expected, but it wasn't great either. I did my best, the concert is Sunday, and supposedly there's "communion" beforehand, winkwink. Small mercies.

Monday, I must have looked like crap because the cashier at WaWa gave me my coffee for free. That was something nice to get me through the day. There were more people to help out at work, so I tried to buckle down and get things done.
I ate dinner in the car on the way home so I could do dishes and water the plants immediately when I got home, rather than "wasting time" eating dinner like a human being at a table with a chair and a person I love. Then went directly into steno class for two hours, then swept and mopped the floors while Jameson had a production meeting. Boy, what an eventful week, I tell ya. What IS it all for.

Tuesday was a blessed Work From Home (WFH) day.
I *could* use my extra hour from 5:30am-6:30am on WFH day to practice steno, instead of enjoying a sixth hour of sleep. That may need to start happening. But for now, I'm sorry, I need the sleep. Work was work, I was "bad" again and completed some steno practice during lulls in calls.

After work I went to fetch tacos for us, but ended up waiting nearly 30 minutes for them for unknown reasons. So much for fast food!
I got back and we ate quickly because Jameson had rehearsal and I had...well, I wanted to go to the gym. But not to exercise just yet. First I wanted to get a Fit3D body scan!

I last got a body scan in December 2019, just a few months before covid.
Naturally I was very curious to see what differences might be apparent after 18 months of no gym, minimal exercise, and a sedentary job. But also keeping in mind that I am very strict about my diet, I don't sit still very often, and I've got genetics on my side (read: Japanese).

All of that said, here are some of my results.
My body looks exactly the friggin same. No surprises there. All of my clothes still fit.

Here's something interesting, though. In this chart we see four columns: the category of thing being measured; my "Baseline", which is the data from the 2019 scan; "Current", which is the data from today's scan; and the change, or difference, between the two in the final column.

As you can see, I've lost six pounds! But that's no reason to celebrate. Almost all of that weight loss was due to losing muscle mass.
Now granted, at least my fat mass didn't go UP to make up for that loss. I am extremely grateful for that. Other measurements were also provided (arms, legs, torso, etc) but the changes can be measured in millimeters and fractions of inches so I didn't consider it worth sharing.

In my case, sticking to a dietary routine plus clinging to my genetics has kept my body relatively unchanged for a whole year and a half of inactivity. I am very aware that not everyone is so fortunate, and want to say that me sharing this is NOT AT ALL meant to shame ANYONE for anything their body may have done during quarantine. I simply was curious to check this out, and found my personal results interesting.

After that I came home and ate the rest of my tacos. Because apparently I can.

Next comes the weekend.
Wednesday I will NOT bake bread for once due to a) wanting to go to the gym, and b) a dentist appointment at 2pm, and c) class at 5:30. After class, though, I'll start the rye "bread sponge", which will then become an overnight dough that I'll tackle Thursday morning. No real plans Thursday other than possibly another gym trip, loads of steno, making reubens for dinner, and watering the plants. But I SHOULD do five hours of steno instead of just two, right?? Sigh.

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taz_39

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goofball on a train

(adventures of a touring musician)

Entries tagged with steno

Ten Years Together. Bananas!

NYE 2021 --> 2022

Tootsie Rehearsals Week 2

Tootsie Rehearsals Week 1

What is Normalcy

The Never-Ending Checklist

A Good Visit

Prep and Trip

No Pictures Needed

Being a Pretzel

Tiny Things

In a Blur

Partial Reveal, I Guess

Never Enough Bread

"Vacation" Snippet 3

Father's Day 2021

"Vacation" Snippet 1

Buns in the Oven

Miffed

"You Pass Butter"