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Tootsie Layoff Pennsylvania
Dec. 27th, 2021 08:02 pmI didn't have a lot of time to write while home, so this will be a sort of slapdash retrospective.
For my LJ Friends, some of this will be info you've already seen.
On the morning of the 20th I woke up waaaaay too early, 4am, and sleepily dragged myself out to the car.
A stop for gas and coffee, and I was off.
The drive was mostly smooth, just very long, roughly 16 hours (it could have easily taken 19 hours, so I was grateful). And I took too long at one of my meal stops because I had failed to map where exactly the food was in relation to the highway. I hate it when you see a sign proclaiming "Publix!" on the highway, and then take the exit only to see "2.5 miles" away underneath the next sign. Sigh.
Anyway, the trouble came while I was caught in rush hour traffic in Washington DC.
My stepmom called to inform me that her brother had tested positive for covid and was showing symptoms.
She hadn't been in any contact with him, but her sister had, and her sister had also been in contact with her.
So we had a line of contact, of sorts.
At this point I had already driven 12 hours of a 16 hour trip. I wasn't sure what I should do, but I knew I shouldn't go to my stepmom's house as planned. So I decided to get a hotel in our hometown, get some sleep, and readdress the next day.
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The next day after an actual night of sleep, I decided to source out a rapid test.
I had planned to get one anyway because I've been among crowds last week with Jameson, at Universal and at the TSO concert.
But due to omicron, rapid tests prooved VERY hard to find. It took me most of the morning, but eventually my stepmom directed me to a small family-owned pharmacy in a forgotten strip mall where I was able to get two tests, one for me and one for her.
But by the time that happened, we had already made a decision about what to do.
My sister Kate (who is an OR nurse and who has intubated people for covid herself) did not want to have contact with our stepmom for at least a week. Which I think is very fair. This meant that if I visited my stepmom first, even after a rapid test, my sister would not want me to then come visit her, creating another point of contact. So the plan became: I visit Kate's family. Then I visit stepmom. I don't get to see my half-brother and sister Jonah and Raven because they're staying at Kate's. I also don't get to see my aunt, the one who was in contact with the brother who tested positive. And that's that.
Before anyone gets up in arms about the risk I took, I chose to take it because it would affect no one but me personally.
According to CDC guidelines, a fully vaccinated and boosted person and a person who's had covid plus partial immunizations are not required to isolate or quarantine for a secondhand level of contact. The suggestion is to reduce social activities and continue to monitor and test, so that is what I chose to do.
So I gave myself a rapid test and came up negative. And then since my sister had to work, I killed a day by myself.
It was actually kind of nice, to be in my hometown and just wander around.
Every time I'm home I'm perpetually visiting someone or accompanied by someone.
It was nice to go wherever I wanted and see how much has changed.
There used to be a coffee shop downtown called Town Perk. It's gone now, but it was replaced with another coffee shop called Fog & Flame. It has a neat modern interior, and beautiful new brewing equipment, and serves Intelligentsia coffee in a variety of lovely forms and flavors. I got a boring americana, but also a bag of "house blend" ground for my aeropress.
I went to several thrift stores, specifically looking for a coat because I'd forgotten mine at home and nighttime temps here could get down below 30. The thrift stores were not much help (though a lot of other items tempted me!) but I did end up with a light fitted down coat from Burlington. It will provide warmth when the tour goes to Des Moines in February.
For dinner I got pho, because it was cold and because I was surprised that there is now a pho restaurant in my somewhat homogenous hometown. It was good, but the broth was much more oily than I prefer (probably because I usually opt for vegetarian broth and this was chicken broth).
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day I spent with my sister Kate before she had to go to work.
Of course we couldn't help but comiserate, and rant a little, about how Christmas was now a bust due to covid, AGAIN.
Shouldn't we be done with this stuff by now? But the more people drag their feet over their personal responsibility to slow the spread, the longer it will take. And we've got a lot of feet-draggers, don't we. We ate veggie sandwiches and sweet potato fries together, and I cooed at the baby and got to see Kate's husband briefly before he ducked into a zoom meeting. Then it was time for Kate to work, so I donned my N95 and went to my stepmom's house.
It was good to see her. The house was a lot cleaner than the last time I'd been in town; she said that her friends had come to help clean, and a youth group of some sort had done her yardwork recently as well. I was glad for that. And I feel bad that I'm not there to clean for her. But I don't believe in pretending to be something I'm not: I'm not a caretaker, and if it were up to me I'd probably hire professionals to clean for her rather than running home to do it every time it was needed. But anyway, not needing to clean meant more time for prepping Christmas cards, listing items for sale on Ebay, and running necessary errands.
Most of our week was spent this way...because I'm writing this afterward I've forgotten a lot of what we did, but I know we drove to a clinic to get an O2 monitor, and did a lot of tweaking to misc apps and computer things to try and make them easier for mom to handle, and listed one of my Dad's leather jackets for sale on eBay, and etc etc. We had some nice meals together, and in general I was just glad to be with her for a few days, even if it was more of a covid risk than I would have normally accepted.
On Christmas Eve we were supposed to go to church, but one of my stepmom's friends had contracted covid and was having bad symptoms (yes she had been vaccinated), so we stopped by to deliver her an O2 tank (without having contact). Then we brought food to my uncle, and ran a few other errands, and by the time we were done it was pretty much past church time. We ordered Chinese, specifically we ordered the foods that my dad loved most: "Happy Family"--which is a variety of land and sea meats with mixed veggies in a brown sauce--and the pupu platter. He also loved crab rangoon, but we didn't realize it wasn't part of the pupu platter.
It was weirdly emotional to eat "his" foods without him there.
Throughout the day my sisters Kayle and Kate called to check in on mom.
She held it together pretty well, I thought.
But it's clear that the hurt is just beginning. She's got a long way to go and a hard road ahead. We all do.
(Here we are. In our pajamas right before bed, so don't judge too harshly.)
My stepmom asked that I leave a day earlier than planned (Christmas Day instead of the 26th).
This was partly because it would be an easier travel day, and partly because she wanted some time without family around. Which I understand. Having family around emphasizes the hole in all of our lives now that dad is gone.
So on Christmas morning I woke at 3:45, and drove away.
Partway through the drive I took another rapid test. Negative.
Also partway through the drive, we had a video chat while the kids opened their presents.
I couldn't really watch because, ya know, driving, but it was nice to hear everyone. I'm glad we did it.
The drive seemed to take forever, but I made excellent time and arrived at 8pm.
I unpacked and opened a few more late presents with Jameson. A Sara Bareilles vinyl and a horror book for him; the two most recent Neal Stephenson novels for me. I'm determined to make room in my suitcase for one of these books, even though N.S.'s books are always gigantic 800-page epics.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On Sunday I was supposed to have an additional PCR, just to play it safe and also ensure that I got tested within my employer's window of requirement. But the appointment that I made with AdventHealth was apparently for nothing; as soon as I arrived and presented paperwork they buried me in a barrage of excuses. "We ran out of tests." "You need to consult with a doctor first." "We can't run it through your insurance so it's going to cost $175."
Three other walk-ins were turned away as well. Whether anyone had an appointment or not didn't seem to matter.
Having been awake for 20 hours the day before, and having gotten up early for a PCR test that was never going to happen, you can imagine I was pretty annoyed. I know that the medical industry is suffering and struggling with all the covid chaos. But really, in this case I felt that this clinic was making more work for themselves by having available appointments for a service they can't offer. Ugh.
So, no second PCR for me. Instead I went to Target for a little food to get me through the day, then home where I realized my sinuses were SCREAMING and my right nostril was clogged, so I decided to take another rapid test because WHAT IF.
I didn't take a picture because it was negative again.
And I'll be rapid tested tomorrow at the hotel as well.
I think I was just crashing from the lack of sleep, the stress, the driving, the rapid temperature changes, and did I mention the stress.
Jameson was on the struggle bus with depression as well, so we just took it easy, which was probably for the best. I wanted to go for a walk or do something productive, but I'll get to walk plenty in weeks to come. So we watched tv, ate, and I did laundry and repacked my luggage, making room for misc Christmas candy and my book and tiny bottles of red wine.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, I woke up confused about where I was, and then surprised because today's the day I go back on tour!
All of the events of the past two weeks have thrown me completely out of "tour mode".
I hope I remember the music! (Don't worry I absolutely do lol)
I felt much better today, although my sinuses are still very angry. Had breakfast and enjoyed my last few hours with my Jameson before it was time to head to the Avis for a rental car.
As soon as we arrived it became apparent that we'd be waiting a while. There was a long line and only one woman at the counter, and one of the first things we heard her say was, "We don't have any cars right now."
Well, I thought, maybe they'll still have a car for me, because I made a reservation.
Sadly this turned out to be a nope. None of the cars that were due back had been returned, and the poor woman had no way of knowing whether it would be five minutes or five hours before the next car arrived. Jameson offered to drive me to Naples himself, but I stubbornly refused. I'd PREPAID! There MUST be a car available somewhere else!
But there wasn't. The return holiday travel rush had begun, and literally the only think I could find after calling the airport, Avis, and Priceline was a 7-seat SUV for $300 for our three-hour drive. Um, no!! And so Jameson ended up driving me all the way to Naples.
I am grateful that we were close enough that he could drive me, but I'm also pretty angry.
What is the point of making a rental car reservation, if you're not actually reserving a car??
What is the point of making an appointment at a clinic, if they already know they can't help you??
Isn't there a better way to do this?
The only good thing about all this was that I got to enjoy more time with Jameson, which I always need and appreciate.
We chatted about this and that while he drove, and exclaimed together over the big citrus trucks driving by full of oranges, and wondered about a column of smoke that we saw off in the distance. Like we used to do when we traveled together on tour. I miss those days.
Eventually we reached the hotel for the week. Jameson helped me with my luggage and walked me to the lobby, and hugged me goodbye. Now he has to drive aaaaaaallll the way back :( I miss him already. All the time. He's the best.
I got checked in, and right around the corner was Andrew (Company Manager) sitting at a table and ready to give us our rapid tests.
I took mine right away and went up to my room to unpack.
Ah yes, back to the hotel life! It feels strange.
But I have an unpacking routine now, and I got right into it.
Food and kitchen items out and put away first. Then bathroom stuff, then the packing cubes. Check all surfaces for dust or fingerprints and wipe them down with a sanitary wipe, especiallly in the bathroom. Hang up the concert clothes. Take note of the size of the fridge.
I did all that, then walked to the nearest grocery stores which this week are a Publix and a Fresh Market, both within half a mile! AND we're in long-stay hotel, so there's a full sized fridge! A freezer! Microwave! Stovetop! How exciting. I got all of my usual items and a few nice "extras" in the form of a whole rotisserie chicken, a vanilla cinnamon Siggi yogurt, a grapefruit, some potstickers, some soup and potatoes, and a poke bowl for dinner. These foods may sound pretty normal but to me they are treats :) I may hit the groceries again if I want to try actually cooking something, but right now I wasn't in the mood for meal planning.
Now I am typing this up and waiting for Jameson to return safely home.
Tomorrow it's right back into the tour routine, I don't think the band even has a rehearsal, but I'm sure we'll be fine. A few people are still out due to positive covid diagnoses over the break, but they will rejoin us soon. So for now, all is well and I'm grateful to still have a job.
This was not an easy holiday. I feel exhausted. But I'm also so, so grateful.
I have the ability to drive long distances, to see my family and to be with my boyfriend.
I have THE BEST boyfriend in the world. He wouldn't agree because he is too hard on himself, but he is THE BEST. I am extremely grateful every time I get to see him smile.
I have these beautiful moments with my friends, my family, my special person, and my coworkers. I appreciate the time I have so much, and I hope to never stop valuing the time I've been given.
And now: back to work.
For my LJ Friends, some of this will be info you've already seen.
On the morning of the 20th I woke up waaaaay too early, 4am, and sleepily dragged myself out to the car.
A stop for gas and coffee, and I was off.
The drive was mostly smooth, just very long, roughly 16 hours (it could have easily taken 19 hours, so I was grateful). And I took too long at one of my meal stops because I had failed to map where exactly the food was in relation to the highway. I hate it when you see a sign proclaiming "Publix!" on the highway, and then take the exit only to see "2.5 miles" away underneath the next sign. Sigh.
Anyway, the trouble came while I was caught in rush hour traffic in Washington DC.
My stepmom called to inform me that her brother had tested positive for covid and was showing symptoms.
She hadn't been in any contact with him, but her sister had, and her sister had also been in contact with her.
So we had a line of contact, of sorts.
At this point I had already driven 12 hours of a 16 hour trip. I wasn't sure what I should do, but I knew I shouldn't go to my stepmom's house as planned. So I decided to get a hotel in our hometown, get some sleep, and readdress the next day.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day after an actual night of sleep, I decided to source out a rapid test.
I had planned to get one anyway because I've been among crowds last week with Jameson, at Universal and at the TSO concert.
But due to omicron, rapid tests prooved VERY hard to find. It took me most of the morning, but eventually my stepmom directed me to a small family-owned pharmacy in a forgotten strip mall where I was able to get two tests, one for me and one for her.
But by the time that happened, we had already made a decision about what to do.
My sister Kate (who is an OR nurse and who has intubated people for covid herself) did not want to have contact with our stepmom for at least a week. Which I think is very fair. This meant that if I visited my stepmom first, even after a rapid test, my sister would not want me to then come visit her, creating another point of contact. So the plan became: I visit Kate's family. Then I visit stepmom. I don't get to see my half-brother and sister Jonah and Raven because they're staying at Kate's. I also don't get to see my aunt, the one who was in contact with the brother who tested positive. And that's that.
Before anyone gets up in arms about the risk I took, I chose to take it because it would affect no one but me personally.
According to CDC guidelines, a fully vaccinated and boosted person and a person who's had covid plus partial immunizations are not required to isolate or quarantine for a secondhand level of contact. The suggestion is to reduce social activities and continue to monitor and test, so that is what I chose to do.
So I gave myself a rapid test and came up negative. And then since my sister had to work, I killed a day by myself.
It was actually kind of nice, to be in my hometown and just wander around.
Every time I'm home I'm perpetually visiting someone or accompanied by someone.
It was nice to go wherever I wanted and see how much has changed.
There used to be a coffee shop downtown called Town Perk. It's gone now, but it was replaced with another coffee shop called Fog & Flame. It has a neat modern interior, and beautiful new brewing equipment, and serves Intelligentsia coffee in a variety of lovely forms and flavors. I got a boring americana, but also a bag of "house blend" ground for my aeropress.
I went to several thrift stores, specifically looking for a coat because I'd forgotten mine at home and nighttime temps here could get down below 30. The thrift stores were not much help (though a lot of other items tempted me!) but I did end up with a light fitted down coat from Burlington. It will provide warmth when the tour goes to Des Moines in February.
For dinner I got pho, because it was cold and because I was surprised that there is now a pho restaurant in my somewhat homogenous hometown. It was good, but the broth was much more oily than I prefer (probably because I usually opt for vegetarian broth and this was chicken broth).
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day I spent with my sister Kate before she had to go to work.
Of course we couldn't help but comiserate, and rant a little, about how Christmas was now a bust due to covid, AGAIN.
Shouldn't we be done with this stuff by now? But the more people drag their feet over their personal responsibility to slow the spread, the longer it will take. And we've got a lot of feet-draggers, don't we. We ate veggie sandwiches and sweet potato fries together, and I cooed at the baby and got to see Kate's husband briefly before he ducked into a zoom meeting. Then it was time for Kate to work, so I donned my N95 and went to my stepmom's house.
It was good to see her. The house was a lot cleaner than the last time I'd been in town; she said that her friends had come to help clean, and a youth group of some sort had done her yardwork recently as well. I was glad for that. And I feel bad that I'm not there to clean for her. But I don't believe in pretending to be something I'm not: I'm not a caretaker, and if it were up to me I'd probably hire professionals to clean for her rather than running home to do it every time it was needed. But anyway, not needing to clean meant more time for prepping Christmas cards, listing items for sale on Ebay, and running necessary errands.
Most of our week was spent this way...because I'm writing this afterward I've forgotten a lot of what we did, but I know we drove to a clinic to get an O2 monitor, and did a lot of tweaking to misc apps and computer things to try and make them easier for mom to handle, and listed one of my Dad's leather jackets for sale on eBay, and etc etc. We had some nice meals together, and in general I was just glad to be with her for a few days, even if it was more of a covid risk than I would have normally accepted.
On Christmas Eve we were supposed to go to church, but one of my stepmom's friends had contracted covid and was having bad symptoms (yes she had been vaccinated), so we stopped by to deliver her an O2 tank (without having contact). Then we brought food to my uncle, and ran a few other errands, and by the time we were done it was pretty much past church time. We ordered Chinese, specifically we ordered the foods that my dad loved most: "Happy Family"--which is a variety of land and sea meats with mixed veggies in a brown sauce--and the pupu platter. He also loved crab rangoon, but we didn't realize it wasn't part of the pupu platter.
It was weirdly emotional to eat "his" foods without him there.
Throughout the day my sisters Kayle and Kate called to check in on mom.
She held it together pretty well, I thought.
But it's clear that the hurt is just beginning. She's got a long way to go and a hard road ahead. We all do.
(Here we are. In our pajamas right before bed, so don't judge too harshly.)
My stepmom asked that I leave a day earlier than planned (Christmas Day instead of the 26th).
This was partly because it would be an easier travel day, and partly because she wanted some time without family around. Which I understand. Having family around emphasizes the hole in all of our lives now that dad is gone.
So on Christmas morning I woke at 3:45, and drove away.
Partway through the drive I took another rapid test. Negative.
Also partway through the drive, we had a video chat while the kids opened their presents.
I couldn't really watch because, ya know, driving, but it was nice to hear everyone. I'm glad we did it.
The drive seemed to take forever, but I made excellent time and arrived at 8pm.
I unpacked and opened a few more late presents with Jameson. A Sara Bareilles vinyl and a horror book for him; the two most recent Neal Stephenson novels for me. I'm determined to make room in my suitcase for one of these books, even though N.S.'s books are always gigantic 800-page epics.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On Sunday I was supposed to have an additional PCR, just to play it safe and also ensure that I got tested within my employer's window of requirement. But the appointment that I made with AdventHealth was apparently for nothing; as soon as I arrived and presented paperwork they buried me in a barrage of excuses. "We ran out of tests." "You need to consult with a doctor first." "We can't run it through your insurance so it's going to cost $175."
Three other walk-ins were turned away as well. Whether anyone had an appointment or not didn't seem to matter.
Having been awake for 20 hours the day before, and having gotten up early for a PCR test that was never going to happen, you can imagine I was pretty annoyed. I know that the medical industry is suffering and struggling with all the covid chaos. But really, in this case I felt that this clinic was making more work for themselves by having available appointments for a service they can't offer. Ugh.
So, no second PCR for me. Instead I went to Target for a little food to get me through the day, then home where I realized my sinuses were SCREAMING and my right nostril was clogged, so I decided to take another rapid test because WHAT IF.
I didn't take a picture because it was negative again.
And I'll be rapid tested tomorrow at the hotel as well.
I think I was just crashing from the lack of sleep, the stress, the driving, the rapid temperature changes, and did I mention the stress.
Jameson was on the struggle bus with depression as well, so we just took it easy, which was probably for the best. I wanted to go for a walk or do something productive, but I'll get to walk plenty in weeks to come. So we watched tv, ate, and I did laundry and repacked my luggage, making room for misc Christmas candy and my book and tiny bottles of red wine.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, I woke up confused about where I was, and then surprised because today's the day I go back on tour!
All of the events of the past two weeks have thrown me completely out of "tour mode".
I hope I remember the music! (Don't worry I absolutely do lol)
I felt much better today, although my sinuses are still very angry. Had breakfast and enjoyed my last few hours with my Jameson before it was time to head to the Avis for a rental car.
As soon as we arrived it became apparent that we'd be waiting a while. There was a long line and only one woman at the counter, and one of the first things we heard her say was, "We don't have any cars right now."
Well, I thought, maybe they'll still have a car for me, because I made a reservation.
Sadly this turned out to be a nope. None of the cars that were due back had been returned, and the poor woman had no way of knowing whether it would be five minutes or five hours before the next car arrived. Jameson offered to drive me to Naples himself, but I stubbornly refused. I'd PREPAID! There MUST be a car available somewhere else!
But there wasn't. The return holiday travel rush had begun, and literally the only think I could find after calling the airport, Avis, and Priceline was a 7-seat SUV for $300 for our three-hour drive. Um, no!! And so Jameson ended up driving me all the way to Naples.
I am grateful that we were close enough that he could drive me, but I'm also pretty angry.
What is the point of making a rental car reservation, if you're not actually reserving a car??
What is the point of making an appointment at a clinic, if they already know they can't help you??
Isn't there a better way to do this?
The only good thing about all this was that I got to enjoy more time with Jameson, which I always need and appreciate.
We chatted about this and that while he drove, and exclaimed together over the big citrus trucks driving by full of oranges, and wondered about a column of smoke that we saw off in the distance. Like we used to do when we traveled together on tour. I miss those days.
Eventually we reached the hotel for the week. Jameson helped me with my luggage and walked me to the lobby, and hugged me goodbye. Now he has to drive aaaaaaallll the way back :( I miss him already. All the time. He's the best.
I got checked in, and right around the corner was Andrew (Company Manager) sitting at a table and ready to give us our rapid tests.
I took mine right away and went up to my room to unpack.
Ah yes, back to the hotel life! It feels strange.
But I have an unpacking routine now, and I got right into it.
Food and kitchen items out and put away first. Then bathroom stuff, then the packing cubes. Check all surfaces for dust or fingerprints and wipe them down with a sanitary wipe, especiallly in the bathroom. Hang up the concert clothes. Take note of the size of the fridge.
I did all that, then walked to the nearest grocery stores which this week are a Publix and a Fresh Market, both within half a mile! AND we're in long-stay hotel, so there's a full sized fridge! A freezer! Microwave! Stovetop! How exciting. I got all of my usual items and a few nice "extras" in the form of a whole rotisserie chicken, a vanilla cinnamon Siggi yogurt, a grapefruit, some potstickers, some soup and potatoes, and a poke bowl for dinner. These foods may sound pretty normal but to me they are treats :) I may hit the groceries again if I want to try actually cooking something, but right now I wasn't in the mood for meal planning.
Now I am typing this up and waiting for Jameson to return safely home.
Tomorrow it's right back into the tour routine, I don't think the band even has a rehearsal, but I'm sure we'll be fine. A few people are still out due to positive covid diagnoses over the break, but they will rejoin us soon. So for now, all is well and I'm grateful to still have a job.
This was not an easy holiday. I feel exhausted. But I'm also so, so grateful.
I have the ability to drive long distances, to see my family and to be with my boyfriend.
I have THE BEST boyfriend in the world. He wouldn't agree because he is too hard on himself, but he is THE BEST. I am extremely grateful every time I get to see him smile.
I have these beautiful moments with my friends, my family, my special person, and my coworkers. I appreciate the time I have so much, and I hope to never stop valuing the time I've been given.
And now: back to work.
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