Eight Years Together
Jul. 23rd, 2021 09:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
taz_39Today is Jameson and my 8th anniversary of dating!
Crazy that we've been together for so long. Longer than any job I've ever held, almost as long as I've spent in the school system.
Some might find it weird to date for so long and not get married. Well, all I have to say is, we are both very low-romance, work-oriented people. When we began dating, we knew this about each other. Being musicians, our passions and priorities lie with pursuing the arts. Sometimes (like now, basically) that means we will be pulled apart by career opportunities. We are also both fiercely independent, a little too hardcore probably about earning our respective livings and only spending what we earn, which is why we don't have any kind of joint bank account or shared mortgage or anything.
Basically, we're really independent people and one of the foundations of our relationship is giving each other loads of space to be individuals. None of that "Megason" or "O'Malloyce" cutesie name-merge nonsense, no bickering over who spent who's money or who's being the bigger or better "half". No expensive ceremonies or unrealistic promises to keep.
The promise that we made to each other, eight years ago, was to look out for each other. To be there for each other. To have each others' backs. Now THAT'S a promise I can stand behind. That's a promise I can keep even if our relationship ends. And that's what's most important to me in a relationship. Not the social expectation of togetherness, or the traditional activities, or the tax breaks (are there even any for being married?). Most important is, if he needs me, I'm there, and vice versa. And if he needs space, or months or years to follow his dream, he will have it, and I will do everything in my power to support him. Just as he's doing for me now.
Well, anyway. That got heavy and deep really quick. I'm just glad we're still together after all that's happened over the past eight years! Jameson is an amazing person, and although lots of things have been difficult and many things remain unresolved, I'm glad to be with him.
He has to work today and we didn't plan anything special for our anniversary (like I said, we're not romantic) but I will be making us a nice steak dinner later on.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For now, I woke up late and had breakfast, then started transferring files from my old (larger) external hard drive to my new (smaller) external hard drive so I can bring it on the road with me. Always good to bring one of these in case of torrenting opportunities or media exchanges.
While that was happening I did my meal prep for the week and did some more tearing down in the garden, washing the drip trays, throwing away the jalapeno plant (sorry guy) and storing the 20-some empty planter pots in the garage. By the time I was done with all that it was lunch time. After lunch I continued my garden work, weeded the pool deck, and decided to give my new bathing suit a test run in the pool. Glad I did because it's definitely too big, going to have to send it back. Sigh. This is one reason that I hate online shopping.
But swimming was very nice. After I got cleaned up, I got the steaks going in the sous vide. Forgot to take pics but we've all seen a good steak before, right?
Then I kind of...wandered aimlessly. I didn't feel like practicing, it was too early to make dinner. Nothing was due to be cleaned just yet. I gathered a few things that I'll probably end up packing for the tour, like batteries, a dish sponge, a cutting board, and a small kitchen knife with a sheath. That killed all of five seconds. I packed my lunch for work tomorrow.
It's so weird to be thinking about all this tour stuff right now. Like, I know the tour is not for another two months. But the sooner I know how much my luggage will weigh, the sooner I can know what I'll be packing. And it's possible that my passport won't be ready in time. And...just so many other things. What will happen with my car for nine months, what happens if my trombone needs repairs during the tour, what if there's not enough room for my steno machine, what if what if. I hate what ifs, I hate waiting. So, probably pretty soon, I will do a packing "test run" to see how much my luggage weighs once it contains most of what I want to bring. Some decisions will be big (packing the steno machine or not) and some will be small things that might add up (packing cooking spices, or waiting until I get there to obtain them? Packing them in a ziploc or a tupperware?) All of these little decisions that could add or subtract fractions of pounds from my luggage.
The important things have to go in first, then we'll see about "extras" like cooking supplies and that one jacket I like.
Anyway, I occupied myself one way or another, then finally got started on dinner.
Somehow, although I started steaming the broccoli last, it STILL was done cooking first, so it was the worst part of the meal. Overcooked. But hey, it's just broccoli.
The mac and cheese turned out slightly grainy, I found out later you're supposed to add cheese in gradually to avoid that. The recipe I was using did not specify. Note to self.
But the steak, the most important part, came out perfectly. You really can't mess up with cooking your steak sous vide. All you have to do is sear it afterward and it's absolutely perfect.
The sides were "meh", the steak was divine. Happy anniversary to us.
After dinner I thoroughly cleaned the kitchen, and thought about how Jameson will NOT be cleaning the kitchen after I leave. Argh. He's not cooking much lately so maybe that won't be an issue. But I hope he'll have friends over to keep him company. And I hope he'll clean up for them. Argh.
I did my steno homework, then continued the file transfer process from one hard drive to another while Jameson gamed and I bookmarked some stuff for online shopping. And drank white wine out of a Welch's pterodactyl jelly jar. BECAUSE.
Somewhere in there a package showed up for me, a black fleece jacket I'd ordered because those are great for layering, and more spiffy than a hoodie. The main thing is it'll keep me warm at work.
Due to the extra day off, my work week is a little shorter, and that's nice.
I plan to pick up some of the foods I'd pack for tour: jerky, roasted edamame, instant coffee, tea, tuna pouches, spices, crackers, oatmeal, mini clif bars, ginger for motion sickness. I'll need to return my bathing suit, and buy some black yoga pants (to double as work pants or exercise pants). I'm going to try to test out of my 100wpm class this week. And a million other things I can barely keep straight in my head.
Adventures are exciting and definitely worth it...but MAN. The preplanning involved! I tell ya.
Oh, one other thing I did today: I resigned from the American Federation of Musicians.
The union was great, when I had a union gig. Which was once in my life.
Since then, I've been paying dues and haven't seen a single union job available to me.
It's been four years, and I can't afford to keep paying into something that will never pay me back. Not only that, I'm supposed to have a pension through the union, but they've already lost it/spent it. I'll never see that money. I mean I'll hold out hope, but let's be honest, I'll NEVER see that money.
The vast majority of good, wonderful, paying gigs I've had have been non-union.
Here's hoping I've made the right choice. In the post-pandemic world, I think I probably have.
Crazy that we've been together for so long. Longer than any job I've ever held, almost as long as I've spent in the school system.
Some might find it weird to date for so long and not get married. Well, all I have to say is, we are both very low-romance, work-oriented people. When we began dating, we knew this about each other. Being musicians, our passions and priorities lie with pursuing the arts. Sometimes (like now, basically) that means we will be pulled apart by career opportunities. We are also both fiercely independent, a little too hardcore probably about earning our respective livings and only spending what we earn, which is why we don't have any kind of joint bank account or shared mortgage or anything.
Basically, we're really independent people and one of the foundations of our relationship is giving each other loads of space to be individuals. None of that "Megason" or "O'Malloyce" cutesie name-merge nonsense, no bickering over who spent who's money or who's being the bigger or better "half". No expensive ceremonies or unrealistic promises to keep.
The promise that we made to each other, eight years ago, was to look out for each other. To be there for each other. To have each others' backs. Now THAT'S a promise I can stand behind. That's a promise I can keep even if our relationship ends. And that's what's most important to me in a relationship. Not the social expectation of togetherness, or the traditional activities, or the tax breaks (are there even any for being married?). Most important is, if he needs me, I'm there, and vice versa. And if he needs space, or months or years to follow his dream, he will have it, and I will do everything in my power to support him. Just as he's doing for me now.
Well, anyway. That got heavy and deep really quick. I'm just glad we're still together after all that's happened over the past eight years! Jameson is an amazing person, and although lots of things have been difficult and many things remain unresolved, I'm glad to be with him.
He has to work today and we didn't plan anything special for our anniversary (like I said, we're not romantic) but I will be making us a nice steak dinner later on.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For now, I woke up late and had breakfast, then started transferring files from my old (larger) external hard drive to my new (smaller) external hard drive so I can bring it on the road with me. Always good to bring one of these in case of torrenting opportunities or media exchanges.
While that was happening I did my meal prep for the week and did some more tearing down in the garden, washing the drip trays, throwing away the jalapeno plant (sorry guy) and storing the 20-some empty planter pots in the garage. By the time I was done with all that it was lunch time. After lunch I continued my garden work, weeded the pool deck, and decided to give my new bathing suit a test run in the pool. Glad I did because it's definitely too big, going to have to send it back. Sigh. This is one reason that I hate online shopping.
But swimming was very nice. After I got cleaned up, I got the steaks going in the sous vide. Forgot to take pics but we've all seen a good steak before, right?
Then I kind of...wandered aimlessly. I didn't feel like practicing, it was too early to make dinner. Nothing was due to be cleaned just yet. I gathered a few things that I'll probably end up packing for the tour, like batteries, a dish sponge, a cutting board, and a small kitchen knife with a sheath. That killed all of five seconds. I packed my lunch for work tomorrow.
It's so weird to be thinking about all this tour stuff right now. Like, I know the tour is not for another two months. But the sooner I know how much my luggage will weigh, the sooner I can know what I'll be packing. And it's possible that my passport won't be ready in time. And...just so many other things. What will happen with my car for nine months, what happens if my trombone needs repairs during the tour, what if there's not enough room for my steno machine, what if what if. I hate what ifs, I hate waiting. So, probably pretty soon, I will do a packing "test run" to see how much my luggage weighs once it contains most of what I want to bring. Some decisions will be big (packing the steno machine or not) and some will be small things that might add up (packing cooking spices, or waiting until I get there to obtain them? Packing them in a ziploc or a tupperware?) All of these little decisions that could add or subtract fractions of pounds from my luggage.
The important things have to go in first, then we'll see about "extras" like cooking supplies and that one jacket I like.
Anyway, I occupied myself one way or another, then finally got started on dinner.
Somehow, although I started steaming the broccoli last, it STILL was done cooking first, so it was the worst part of the meal. Overcooked. But hey, it's just broccoli.
The mac and cheese turned out slightly grainy, I found out later you're supposed to add cheese in gradually to avoid that. The recipe I was using did not specify. Note to self.
But the steak, the most important part, came out perfectly. You really can't mess up with cooking your steak sous vide. All you have to do is sear it afterward and it's absolutely perfect.
The sides were "meh", the steak was divine. Happy anniversary to us.
After dinner I thoroughly cleaned the kitchen, and thought about how Jameson will NOT be cleaning the kitchen after I leave. Argh. He's not cooking much lately so maybe that won't be an issue. But I hope he'll have friends over to keep him company. And I hope he'll clean up for them. Argh.
I did my steno homework, then continued the file transfer process from one hard drive to another while Jameson gamed and I bookmarked some stuff for online shopping. And drank white wine out of a Welch's pterodactyl jelly jar. BECAUSE.
Somewhere in there a package showed up for me, a black fleece jacket I'd ordered because those are great for layering, and more spiffy than a hoodie. The main thing is it'll keep me warm at work.
Due to the extra day off, my work week is a little shorter, and that's nice.
I plan to pick up some of the foods I'd pack for tour: jerky, roasted edamame, instant coffee, tea, tuna pouches, spices, crackers, oatmeal, mini clif bars, ginger for motion sickness. I'll need to return my bathing suit, and buy some black yoga pants (to double as work pants or exercise pants). I'm going to try to test out of my 100wpm class this week. And a million other things I can barely keep straight in my head.
Adventures are exciting and definitely worth it...but MAN. The preplanning involved! I tell ya.
Oh, one other thing I did today: I resigned from the American Federation of Musicians.
The union was great, when I had a union gig. Which was once in my life.
Since then, I've been paying dues and haven't seen a single union job available to me.
It's been four years, and I can't afford to keep paying into something that will never pay me back. Not only that, I'm supposed to have a pension through the union, but they've already lost it/spent it. I'll never see that money. I mean I'll hold out hope, but let's be honest, I'll NEVER see that money.
The vast majority of good, wonderful, paying gigs I've had have been non-union.
Here's hoping I've made the right choice. In the post-pandemic world, I think I probably have.
