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DO NOT RESHARE ANY PART OF THIS POST WITHOUT EXPRESS PERMISSION. Thank you.**


This post covers Wednesday and Thursday.

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WEDNESDAY

Up early for rehearsal. Breakfast, walking to the theater, and warming up.

Today I received my first paycheck from the tour.
Good enough for me: I officially work here now!! :) :) :)

Rehearsal was much the same as yesterday, we played through a number and then stopped so that keycomp personnel could adjust their levels. The Assistant Music Directors (our keyboardists) also took turns conducting us for one number each, and this also allowed our rehearsal keyboardist to move around and play the parts he's covering. Knowing multiple parts and/or being able to conduct the show is a LOT of extra work...but rest assured, these guys are getting paid extra for it (as well they should be!) And they did a fantastic job. Our MD sat in the audience and said we sounded "incredible." In the pit it's very hard to tell how we sound as a group, so it's good to get audience perspective.

Before we knew it rehearsal was over. I packed up all of my things since we'll be off for a whole day, and brought my bass trombone and music to the hotel with me. Tomorrow I'm driving to Dillon Music to try bass trombones, and I'll want to compare them with the one I've currently got.

After lunch I took care of some business like ticket requests from friends, booking a hotel with my sister for a family visit in PA, and making arrangements with a coworker at Epic for her to drive my car while I'm on tour (a great solution for both of us because I don't want to sell it yet but also don't want it sitting around becoming a mouse nest like it did last time.)

Then I walked to Hertz to rent a car. It was a 2-mile walk, that's my exercise for the day.
Once I had the car I treated myself to Whole Paycheck where I got my usual favorite things.
Back at the hotel, dinner and relaxation time because although tomorrow is a day off, it'll be a long day for me.

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THURSDAY

Awake at 5am, eew. Some "day off!"

Breakfast, packed up some snacks and a phone charger and my bass trombone, and off I went for a 3-hour drive to Dillon Music.

Traffic was "New Jersey normal" and having lived in NJ for two years, I did a good job with timing and got there right at 10am. They were a bit late opening up, and there was a small queue of nervous high schoolers wanting to try out college level instruments. 

A word on instrument testing.
CLICK HERE for Nerd Stuuuuffff )

Anyway. The entryway at Dillon Music is full of photographs, programs, and memorabilia of the many many MANY brass musicians who have patronized the shop.
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The store was incorporated in 1992, but the Steve Dillon has been selling instruments since the 80s. He and his wife Lynn have come out to see my shows, and always come by the pit to say hello! Lynn was actually right at the door, but I only gave her an enthusiastic "hello" and then let her handle the people in line ahead of me (I've worked retail before!)

Behind the counter, these supercool and rare brass instruments from bygone days.
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And then we get to the good stuff. 
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This is the tuba/trumpet room. Pretty cool, huh? So few stores have a selection like this.
And here is the trombone wall (drool!) They have many more instruments in storage in the basement as well.



One of the kids ahead of me was a clarinetist (The Dillon family men served as fifers during the Revolutionary and Civil wars, and as such they keep a collection of reed instruments too.) The other was a trombonist who'd just been accepted to the Pittsburgh Youth Symphony! A sales associate led them to practice rooms and got them started with a few instruments to try based on what they were looking for. He then brought me to a third room and hooked me up with a YBL-835GD, which was the model I'd asked to try ahead of time. He also brought me a Shires Q, saying that a lot of bass trombonists preferred it. 

I had brought my Duo Gravis for comparison. One important thing to watch out for when trying new instruments is that you're not lying to yourself just because you want something new and shiny :p It's very important to be as sure as you can that the new horn will be an improvement, and/or give you something that your horn currently doesn't have. 

On the left, my Duo Gravis. On the right, the Yamaha 835. 
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For the next two hours, I played and played, and played some more. 
I carefully, painstakingly compared all three instruments by playing the same passages on them over and over, to hear the differences and pay attention to whether something was caused by me as a player, or the horn. 

The first time I came to Dillon Music as a high school student, I spent FOUR HOURS testing horns. That's because I'd never done it before; I had very little clue what to look for, and I was scared because I didn't have a lot of money to spend and didn't want to make the wrong choice. Now I'm a lot more experienced and know what to listen for, and also know that if I find out I've made a terrible mistake, I can just return it and get my old horn back! 

It was immediately clear that both new horns were an improvement over the Duo Gravis sound-wise, at least for what I need. I wanted a horn that was easier to play and had a more centered, responsive sound, and both fit the bill. But the Shires did not respond as quickly as the Yamaha, and although I could get more volume on it and it sounded wonderful, I still felt like it was fighting me more than the Yamaha. It was also significantly harder to hold comfortably. A lot of trombones are apparently designed for big MAN-BEAR MANLY MEN or something because the grips are ridiculously big, even for men. Yamahas in general tend to be designed with ASIAN men in mind, which means they are more comfortable to hold for ME. But that aside, the Yamaha won; overall it gave me what I wanted. It was direct and clean, and easier to play. It has a few quirks and as such may not be a "lifer" horn for me, but it is a great improvement and I believe it is worth the investment. 

Even with a trade-in it was $$$$ expensive! But I have my dream gig now, and I need to bring my absolute best, and right now that means upgrading my equipment. 

While waiting for my salesperson I chatted with the other trombonist's mom, which is how I found out he's doing the Pittsburgh Youth Symphony. She's not a musician at all, and the salespeople were too busy to stop by and give advice, so when her son came out I introduced myself and offered to listen and give feedback on the different horns that he was trying. He agreed and then told me what he was looking for in a horn. I listened carefully while he played the same passage across five different trombones, being careful not to look so I could judge blindly. There were two that sounded especially strong and projected well (that's what he was looking for), one was a Bach and the other a Getzen. I have played both brands before and love them both for different reasons. I gave the best advice that I could and told him what I'd heard from each horn. Ultimately it'll be up to him and his preferences. Instruments are a very personal choice, and what works for me may not work for him. I really hope he found a wonderful trombone today! 

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Kind of a sidenote + perspective for readers: 

The first time I came to Dillon Music to buy a college-level trombone, I was alone. I had driven all the way from Bloomsburg, PA, where I'd just had a fight with my dad. He had tried to stop me from buying a new trombone. He couldn't understand what was wrong with the one I already had, and lectured me for over an hour about how I was wasting my money, and on something that wasn't realistic as a career. I hate conflict and was afraid of him, and did not say a word to argue back. I sat trembling while he got in my face and paced angrily in front of me, arguing his case for why I shouldn't be buying a trombone. When he finally yelled at me to "Speak up!" and say something, I said, "I'm driving to New Jersey to get a trombone. I should be back before midnight." 

Luckily he didn't physically try to stop me, just stormed out of the room instead. And then didn't talk to me for the next 48 hours.

Under that level of stress, I drove to New Jersey. Being from a small town, driving in NJ was absolutely terrifying at the time. When I arrived there were lots of adult musicians, all men, trying horns. I was a little girl just barely getting started in music, having just endured a lot of stresses before coming there, and I was deeply intimidated and ashamed of how I sounded compared to them on top of everything else. But I HAD to get a trombone for school. So I played all the way up until closing time, to the great annoyance of the sales staff. And I traded my student Getzen for a Bach 42A. 

That Bach 42A is here with me for Beauty and the Beast. 

And now, with that perspective, you can imagine how nice it was for me today, to go back to Dillon Music and not only confidently choose a trombone for myself, but also encourage a young musician in finding a horn that was right for him.

And seeing his mom there with him, watching proudly and supporting him, was absolutely worth 6 hours in New Jersey traffic :) 


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Once the sale was complete I had to drive back right away because the day had taken much longer than I'd planned and the rental car place closed at 5pm. Ate a hasty lunch in the car while driving and got back just in time. At the hotel I gently washed the new trombone slide (it was already squeaky clean but you never know), lubed it with my preferred goop, and checked it over to make sure it's ready for tomorrow's rehearsal.

I'm so very excited to play it for this tour! My new li'l buddy! 

I will take more pictures of it once it's in the pit. 

Ate dinner, had a much-needed glass of wine, typed up this post, and crashed for the rest of the evening. 

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Friday:
A rather short rehearsal from 10am to noon, and then we are hoping to watch a full run-through of the show with costumes and everything!! 

Saturday and Sunday:
Both are long rehearsal days, and Sunday is a dress rehearsal. Wow, we're almost at previews!! How exciting!
taz_39: (Default)
Posting early because Friday was very exciting and made for a long post.

My journal is ultimately for me and my memories, so don't feel obligated to like, READ.
There are some pretty pictures for you to scroll past. Enjoy.

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Friday May 16, 2025.
A day that will live in our hearts.
It was a "karma wave"...and boy did we ride it. You'll see what I mean.

We got up early, excited for our celebratory day at Hollywood Studios!
We got to the park around 9:10am, thinking that it had opened at 8, but it was actually 9, so we got better-than-usual parking! Didn't even have to ride the tram.

Walked right through the gates because we are fancy-schmancy Cast Members.
The first thing we did was to go to Guest Services to ask for Celebration Buttons.
Jameson has worked for Disney for YEARS and has never worn one, and of course I haven't either. But today was special. He got one that said, "Music Producer DEG!" and mine said "BNB National Tour!"
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(BNB is the acronym for Beauty and the Beast used in the theme parks. On tour it's BATB. I went with theme park version today.)

We paused to take photos of the pins, and Jameson used the photo to finally announce to friends and colleagues that he's accepted the Producer role.
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I am so proud of him!!!
And we were both just in awe, all day today, that we were getting to celebrate these life-wins TOGETHER.
We know how rare and special that is.

Next, we walked to Galaxy's Edge to try and queue for Rise of the Resistance. It was down, so we rode Mickey's Runaway Railway instead. I've ridden it before but Jameson hadn't, and I really wanted him to experience it. The tech used in the ride is very cool, and the 2-D aesthetic is fun and cute. We enjoyed it very much!

We used our Cast Member snack coupons to each get a free Mickey pretzel and bottled drink, then decided to see what wait times for Smuggler's Run were like. On the way there we had to pass the queue for Rise of the Resistance again, and we saw some people start to run toward it ahead of us and wondered why. They entered the queue...the ride had JUST opened back up! We rushed over and were able to walk the whole queue and board the ride with only a 10 minute wait!! On a Friday in May! A miracle!! (The average wait time for this ride is 1 hour!)

Neither of us had ridden it before, and once again we were blown away by the tech and visuals and overall ride experience. In fact we would have been willing to ride it again if the queue hadn't filled up!

From there we wandered a bit and window shopped. As we passed Oga's Cantina, Jameson noticed that the queue was lower than usual (it's a very popular bar and can be difficult to get in without a reservation.) We asked the hostess about the wait and were told 15 minutes, so we decided to go for it.

We had waited a grand total of just 60 seconds before our names were called and we were ushered inside!
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I can see why this bar is so popular. It's incredibly, intensively themed, the bartenders are extremely in-character, and drinking there is really an experience. Each drink that we saw looked unique and exotic; there were some that bubbled with dry ice, others with black ooze dripping down the lip or strange foams frothing over the top.

Jameson got the Fuzzy TaunTaun: Ketel One Botanical Peach & Orange Vodka, Bols Peach Schnapps Liqueur, Orange Juice with Tangerine, Pure Cane Sugar, and ‘Buzz Button Tingling Foam.
I got the Nysillin and Bubbles with Brub Berry Essence: Empress 1908 Gin, St-Germain Elderflower Liqueur, Blueberry-Lime Juice topped with Tonic Water and garnished with an Edible Hibiscus Flower.
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Both drinks were amazing, with Jameson's having some very strange foam that caused one's lips to tingle and then go a bit numb! He let me try it and it was a very fun sensation. We wrapped the experience up with a Rodian Ration jell-O shot: Tito’s Handmade Vodka, Dekuyper Pucker Sour Apple, Green Apple, Sprite, and Boba Balls with a Pop! This was really cool and a lot bigger than we expected, it was supposed to be a petri dish and had pop rocks and red chocolate "gravel" sprinkled on top. The boba balls inside were juicy and refreshing. Texturally this was fun to eat.
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A bit more wandering, then we went to see the Beauty and the Beast stage show.
Jameson has a good friend who plays Belle, and she got us VIP seats!! We were front and center!

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It was a lovely show, and of course made me think of the tour adventure awaiting me in June :)

We also had to go see Muppet Vision 3D, which is going to be closing permanently in early June. This was essentially the last time we'd ever see this show in person. It's a great show, funny and cute, but it's dated and I can see why it's being closed/replaced. It was a privilege to get to see it one last time.

For an afternoon snack we went to a random bar where Jameson got a beer and we shared a charcuterie.

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Next we rode Toy Story Mania, which is a shooting game. Jameson won, of course, as usual, and I sulked good-naturedly :p

We decided to try queuing for Smuggler's Run again as the wait time was only 45 minutes. But 45 soon turned into an hour, and longer, and by the time we were nearing the end of queue we both badly needed a restroom! Daunted by the thought of working our way aaaaaall the way back through the line (it is QUITE long), I volunteered to find a Cast Member to ask for help finding a restroom. The woman I found, Elaney, was so gracious; she immediately led us backstage to an employee restroom, without even knowing that we were Cast Members ourselves! When I saw that she was nervous to be taking us "backstage" I quickly told her that we work here too, and she was VERY relieved. Still, the fact that she would go out of her way like this for non-employees is exceptional, and we both took note of it.

Elaney let us rejoin the queue about where we'd left off, which we were very grateful for. Smuggler's Run was fun as usual (we've been on it three times) and this time we had two kids piloting our ship so we crashed A LOT haha. Jameson was laughing his head off, and I have to admit doing a bad job smuggling was a lot more fun than successfully delivering our cargo!

By the time that was finished we only had a little time before our dinner reservations. We just window shopped and enjoyed the vibes, then went to the most exclusive restaurant in Hollywood Studios: The Brown Derby.

You may remember that a few days ago when Jameson called me at the car dealership to tell me he'd gotten the Producer job, after hanging up with him I "got him something special." It was this reservation for this very fancy restaurant! Jameson has only eaten there once before, when he was too young to remember or appreciate the experience. And I've never been inside at all. I figured there was no better way to celebrate our achievements...and I was right :)

The first thing that went amazingly right was we met Dana.
Dana is a longtime Disney employee, possibly a manager at The Brown Derby. He noticed our Celebration Buttons and asked what we were celebrating. We told him, and he congratulated us and then engaged Jameson in a discussion about the "good old days" of Hollywood Studios since they'd both worked there around the same time period. He was just lovely, and when it was time for us to be seated our server started to take us to a standard table but Dana said, "No, let's celebrate properly!" and ushered us to a comfortable booth.

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From there we were treated to an incredible meal!
Jameson had a refreshing gin-and-lemon drink, I had a French rose wine.

We shared these escargot with
Roasted Garlic Béchamel, Crispy Prosciutto, and Puff Pastry.
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Jameson's entree was the Pan-Roasted Halibut: Braised Bok Choy, Roasted Cashew-Jasmine Rice, Olive Oil-macerated Heirloom Tomato, Thai Coconut Sauce.
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I had the Root Beer Brined Pork: Creamy Polenta, Pickled Corn, Herb Chimichurri, Barq's Root Beer Lacquer.
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It was absolutely incredible. I don't think I've ever had pork like that. Sweet but also a slight bit of heat, and the veggies there on the side are pickled which gave a great hit of acidity against the sweet pork and rich polenta. I was very surprised when those mini corn ears turned out to have been smoked by themselves, they had amazing flavor!

For dessert Jameson got a poached pear with vanilla panna cotta, and I did the Derby's famous grapefruit cake.
Both were incredible, but I have to admit that the poached pears were better than the cake. The flavor was so complex, fall spices and smooth clean panna cotta...it was just WOW.

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With dessert, Dana brought us each a celebratory mini-flute of champagne!
We made a very grateful toast to our career successes.
Throughout the day we had been talkng on and off about how we felt, what these recent life-events mean for us, what our hopes and dreams are for the future. This whole day was absolutely perfect, and this exquisite dinner was the perfect way to wrap up a celebration of each other. We have both worked extremely hard. Life is unpredictable and things may still not go as we hope or plan. But we had today. We had this moment where both of us had something amazing to celebrate, and the means to make this memory, which will live with us for many years to come.

Probably the most memorable of all was getting the check for this extravagant dinner!
Here was the crest of the "karma wave" we'd been riding all day :)
We were Cast Members, so we knew we'd get a discount.
But I had also brought our Cast Member Dining Discount coupons, which range from 20% off up to 50% off of a meal in the parks. I asked our server if The Brown Derby accepted Dining Discount coupons, fully expecting that they wouldn't (they usually can't be used in the upscale restaurants.) She asked me to give her a coupon and she'd see if she could apply it. I handed her the 50% off coupon, because why not? If there was a time to use that one, it was now. Again, fully expecting her to come back and regretfully inform us that she couldn't apply it, and perfectly happy to pay with our regular discount.

To both of our amazement, she came back with the check and no coupon.
WE GOT 50% off our meal!!!
I couldn't stop smiling like an idiot. We quickly paid (I gave her a MASSIVE tip) and got out of there, joking that they'd probably chase us down for the rest of the bill!

We considered sticking around for the Fantasmic show, but it had been a scorching day and we'd been outside in 90-degree heat nearly the entire time. We were wiped. We drove home, happy and full and exclaiming over how exceptionally WELL this day had gone. I seriously felt that the universe was celebrating with us.


Tally of Awesome Things:


     - Excellent parking
     - A mere 10-minute wait for Rise of the Resistance
     - Getting to see Muppet Vision 3D one last time before it closed
     - Getting into the most exclusive bar in Galaxy's Edge with essentially no wait time
     - Getting "rescued" by an amazing Cast Member in the Smuggler's Run queue
     - VIP seating at the Beauty and the Beast stage show
     - Special seating, complementary champagne, exceptional service, and 50% off our meal at The Brown Derby!!!
     - Getting to spend an entire uninterrupted day with each other, and both of us in a good place in our lives.


To try and pay back some of the "karma wave," or "pay it forward," as soon as we got home I went to the Guest Services website and filled out a Cast Compliments form for both Elaney (the woman who helped us in the Smuggler's Run queue) and Dana (who went out of his way to make our evening exceptional.) When Cast Members receive kudos, they don't necessarily "get" anything other than a pat on the back and a certificate. But I used all of my skills with words and did everything in my power to show that these two really deserved recognition. So who knows...at minimum I hope they are touched by these words and proud to be who they are :)

Here is what I wrote:


"I have TWO cast Members to recognize!

"First was Elaney working on May 16 around 4pm at Smugglers Run. My partner and I had been waiting in queue, and he suddenly needed a restroom. But we were almost to the ride, and weren’t sure if we’d make it all the way back through the queue in time for him. I went looking for assistance and found Elaney, who guided us to a nearby restroom and waited with us to ensure our safety and comfort. We were then able to rejoin the queue and still ride the attraction. Elaney was empathetic, kind, and most of all she put our safety and health first. We appreciated her so much today, and really wanted her to know that and to recognize her for that.

"And next we have Dana at the Brown Derby. We made dinner reservations at this special restaurant to celebrate both of us recently getting amazing career advancements. We were wearing celebration pins, and Dana noticed and took time to inquire what we were celebrating. We told him, and he not only congratulated us and engaged us in a lovely conversation, he also seated us at a comfortable booth and arranged for us to each receive a flute of celebratory champagne to toast our success! The evening was already so special, but Dana went out of his way to make it EXCEPTIONAL. We will remember our fantastic meal at the Brown Derby for years to come.

"Both of these Cast Members showed us what it means to actively apply The Disney Way, and how that seemingly small extra effort can turn a guest’s experience into not just a day at Disney, but a treasured lifetime memory. As Cast Members ourselves, my partner and I were touched and inspired by the service we received from these two individuals today. We would appreciate if you could pass on our gratitude and thanks."

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If you've made it this far, congrats, you've probably met your reading quota for the entire day.

What can I say, today was incredible. We are both grateful beyond anything in words.
taz_39: (Default)
Blog post for LiveJournal's 26th birthday, about holidays and celebrations.
Read it HERE

Nerd Stuff

Mar. 30th, 2025 07:53 pm
taz_39: (Default)
Thursday I was up at 8 which is late for me anymore.

Breakfast and finished timestamping my bootleg of the tour I'm gonna do this summer, then sort of rushed through breakfast because I am ITCHING to practice this music! I've been waiting for it for a long time. It would have been nice to get it from the actual touring company, but whatever, I'm sure they're super busy with all sorts of other logistics plus it's possible our arrangements aren't even finished yet.

That's right, the part I was given by the guy doing this show in Australia isn't even the part I'll be playing. It's a lot closer, but his version of the music is for a stationary show. A touring show will require changes to set pieces for easier breakdown, and changes to staging to accommodate many stage sizes, and changes to the choreo too. Likewise the music will have more cuts and reorchestrations based on all of these changes that happen on stage. Regardless, being able to practice the actual part is a HUGE leap forward from practicing the 1990s version part, which is what I've been doing up until now.

Anyway, I practiced most of the first act. Right before lunch I went to the bank to deposit some savings bonds that have been sitting around forever. Most of them are within the last 2-3 years of maturity, and I don't feel it's worth the few dollars to keep them lying around when our country is going down the toilet.

Back home, lunch and even more practice just because I am so pleased to have the part!
Then relaxing with Jameson for two hours before driving to my lesson with Will.

Meet Will, who like Jameson is a raging Cubs fan:
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This is a "bad" picture of him, he'll be mad that I shared it :p
My lesson went ok, but it's clear that I need to actually get into a routine now that Will's given me all of these exercises to do. I've been kind of grab-bagging exercises, and need to play them daily and consistently instead. Decided that I'm gonna start with deep breathing and stacked breathing, followed by sustaining long tones with a stopwatch, then interval exercises and mouthpiece buzzing, then Rochut melodies, and THEN I can hit the tour music after doing all that.

Second half of the lesson was spent on gear. I need straight, cup, and plunger mutes for bass trombone, and Will has extras of all of these that he was able to let me borrow. He also let me try his new 3D-printed mutes, which I was skeptical of but they really do sound fantastic. Which is a shame because I'd rather save money and use free/cheap mutes! But now I'm tempted to get the new ones!

Here is a traditional aluminum trombone mute on the left, and a 3D-printed Morningstar mute on the right.
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To show the bottom of the Morningstar mute, which comes in several metal options (copper, aluminum, brass):
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They don't look very different, but there are some important differences. The Morningstar mute is significantly bigger, which isn't necessarily "better" but is probably one reason why they sound so good. It also won't dent during transport because it's 3D-printed. And it doesn't use cork, which dries out and breaks. Instead he uses a velcro system that is actually adjustable so you can move the mute further in or out to get the sound you want. I thought all of this was a gimmick until I tried it...it's not, it's actually very functional and an improvement over traditional mutes which have not seen much innovation since time immemorable. The creator is an actual trombonist too, so my trust level is high. He lives here in Orlando(!) and I'm gonna meet with him in April to try the other types of mutes, schedule permitting.

Will sent me home with his old mutes to play with, plus a gig bag! My monstrous road case is great, but for just getting my bass around town locally a gig bag will be very convenient. I might buy it from him.

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Friday morning, I woke up to an email from our Australian Angel (the trombonist doing my show on the opposite side of the globe.) He'd sent me the French horn part! I quickly forwarded it to Sarah, the French hornist joining me on tour and who sent me frantic texts last week asking if I'd gotten any updates. She'll be thrilled! Super grateful that musicians are willing to help musicians, sort of regardless of any "consequences." This isn't some black market music smuggling ring; we just want to go into rehearsal at our absolute best for this show, and need to see the music in advance to do that.

I poked away online until Jameson got up, then had a rather productive day:

     - washed and seasoned our new saute pan which had shown up last night while I was at Will's
     - practiced bass for an hour
     - took old tax documents and void checks to UPS to be shredded
     - called my doctor to set up a regular checkup in May
     - called my bank to close an inactive checking account
     - dusted
     - trimmed the banana tree

...and went for a neighborhood walk.
The weather today was warm, breezy and 75F (23.8C) and there won't be many more days like this.
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One of our neighbors has planted these gorgeous roses.
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Back home lunch and a shower, Jameson had an afternoon meeting so I did quiet things like dumping transcription files to an external drive, looking for wallpapers for my new iPad, and researching getting a will. I'm not all that old and I don't have loads of assets, but there are things like my trombones that are rare and valuable and I'd like for those to be handled properly, and would like to leave as little work for my younger siblings as possible whenever I cack it.

While doing that I was surprised to see an email from Epic Universe land in my inbox...an invitation to queue up for PREVIEW TICKETS!!!
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(This girl from the Epic commercials is essentially my inner child right now)

Since we are not Universal employees, we have been barred from participating in several other Team Member events that have already taken place. None of us had our hopes up to be included in the park previews. Our third party employer must have advocated for us to get these. I was quick to write them an email GUSHING thanks, then jump into the queue!

Only a limited number of guests may preview the park each day, so just like a popular concert on TicketMaster, you've got to dive into the fray and get that reservation ASAP. It was lucky I'd been working and had my email open to see it come in. Even so, available tickets for the day we wanted were at 10% remaining when I got through just 10 minutes later!! Crazy.

But now, I WILL GET TO SEE ALL OF EPIC UNIVERSE!!!
I may bring one guest, and since I have no friends it's Jameson again. You can bet he doesn't mind!!
I will bring my wand, and we can zap everything we can in the Ministry of Magic!
And we will eat treats and drink drinks and ride rides! And, and...!!

Aaaaah!

Ok, ok, back to the present.

I got our tickets all set up, worked on my will a bit more, did a load of laundry, and when my iPad case arrived I installed that. Ate leftover meatballs with Jameson until he left for a party with friends. After he left I enjoyed several hours to myself to relax. Lit a candle, made tea, watched anime, researched what to check out at Epic Universe. I still have so much to do in coming days...but I also did a lot today, and gotta remind myself that it's ok to do nothing, too.

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Saturday, I had a new transcription job and got started on it. Jameson slept late so I was itching to practice trombone by the time he got up. Practiced, hit the grocery store for dinner ingredients, packed for Disney tomorrow.

More transcription in the afternoon, then made a chicken pot pie for dinner that tasted great but turned out runny, and it was supposed to have a puff pastry "crust" but it didn't work at all. I ended up having to scrape wet puff pastry off the top of the pie, and we were left with only the parts that hadn't touched the filling. Lame. Next time I'll have to par-bake the pastry separately I think.

I felt restless today overall. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

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Sunday, up at 5:30am to make coffee and put in an hour of transcription.
Stopped at 7am to hit Publix for croissants, which when heated in the air fryer become crispy enough that they can be used as a "crust" topping for the pot pie leftovers. More transcription, breakfast, off to Disney with tenor and bass trombone in tow.

It was a cloudy day, but it didn't rain and we didn't get out of anything :p
We did have a shortened second parade because it looked like rain, and the flag retreat was shortened as well because huge thunderheads were rolling toward us, lightning visible. No explorations today, I just practiced bass and tenor and shot the sh*t with the guys.
It was a good day.

Grocery store sushi on the way home, hot tea when I got home.
Jameson has begun putting together a LEGO Piano set that he got at a discount. It's huge and I've no idea where it will live, but maybe we'll figure that out by the time he's finished it!
21323-lego-ideas-grand-piano-review-hothbricks_14-1.jpg

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Monday & Tuesday:
Days "off." Lots of transcription, probably gonna make us Chicago dogs.

Wednesday & Thursday: Epic Universe. Gosh, it's been forever, do I even remember the show? Lol

In closing: Did you know that ChatGPT can make any picture you give it into an anime version? I fed it two photos and they are adorable!
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Copied from lenine2

1. Ten years ago, what did you think you would be doing now?
     In 2015? Good lord...I was still in the circus! We would have just learned a new show since it was an odd year (Circus Xtreme) and we'd have had no idea that in two years we'd all be out of a job. So...I would've assumed I'd still be in the circus. Womp wooomp

2. Where do you think you will be five years from now?
     The way things have suddenly escalated for me in a positive way with my musical career...and with a Trump presidency about to start...and approaching the age that my mother was when she died...I frankly have NO CLUE. I might become some kind of amazing in-demand trombonist. I might lose all of my gigs and end up working retail again. I could be run over by an irresponsible driver on I-4. At this point I can't even begin to guess what five years from now looks like, for me or any of us.

3. Do you live life one day at a time or look to the future?
I have a VERY hard time living in The Now. I'm in a near-constant state of impatience to see the next phase of my life take place, when I should be savoring the moment I'm in (right now is absolutely a prime example of that: I should be looking around in awe at getting to be one of the first performers in Epic Universe and instead all I can think about is whether I'm going on tour in June or not)

4. Do you wish you could go back in time and undo something in your life?
     Yes, two things that I can think of.
     1) I should have gone to my mother before she died, when I was told it was the last chance for me to speak with her. At the time I was at my dad's house, in the middle of the week and it wasn't normal visitation. For one thing I was terrified that this was actually happening, that she was actually GOING to die and that she was in pain and seeing her in that state was frightening and overwhelming. And for another, I was terrified of my dad and/or stepmom "punishing" me later for visiting her (they didn't imply that this would happen but under normal circumstances they didn't like her to have a minute more than she was due and arguments/anger resulted, and I was afraid of that.) I should have set all that aside and thought of HER and how this was her last chance to see ME, too, and she might have needed that, and not going may have hurt her. I can never take that back and it will rankle with me forever that I did that to her.
    2) Before that, I should never have told my sister Kate that she might not be her father's biological daughter. Our mom had told me--I think I was 12 or 13--and I couldn't for the life of me understand why it mattered, and why everyone was being so secretive about it, and told Kate (who was only 8 or 10) right away. Of course she burst into tears and had a big emotional reaction, and it caused a massive blowup between our divorced parents. To my poor sister, it was a massive shift of everything she knew, and possibly ripped away from her her concept of Self, and all sorts of other psychological trauma that she should never have had to experience. To me, if our roles had been reversed I wouldn't have cared at all because our dad loved us, and lots of people were adopted or children of one parent but raised by another. So why should it matter? But at that young/selfish age I didn't consider that Kate might feel very differently about it, or that she might be too young to hear it. I wish I could take that back and keep my stupid mouth shut, and my sister might have had a different childhood if I hadn't been so thoughtless. Also, I can't remember why my mom told me. Perhaps she couldn't keep it to herself any more either.

5. If you could send a message back in time and give a younger version of yourself some advice, what would it be?
     IT IS WORTH IT. Don't give up. Don't let them wear you down. You already know what to do...keep going.
     Hug your mother every moment that you can. Burn her into your brain.
     Also buy stock in Apple and Amazon :p

Letter Game

Jan. 1st, 2025 10:09 am
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[personal profile] ringsandcoffee gave me E.

Something I hate:
EXPECTATIONS! Especially the subconscious ones that people don't even know that they have. The expectation that a woman should be married or have children are two more obvious ones. When someone is heckling you about "Why aren't you married/having kids?" and you answer back, "Why should I? What are some reasons for me to do those things?" it is amusing and annoying to watch the person gape and struggle to come up with any actual reasons to push and pressure others into the expected behavior. I HATE expectations so much. I hate that I'm expected to be nice no matter how rude or thoughtless people are to ME. I hate that I'm expected to kowtow to extroverts just because they are louder and have empty social clout. Go to hell with your unfounded expectations and your disgusting herd-animal mentality.

Something I love: EATING tasty treats! I love to try new things, and local things that people are proud to make. Some of the best foods are the simplest ones with only a few ingredients (rustic bread, a good casserole, a decent steak.) OMNOMNOM

Somewhere I have been: EUGENE, Oregon.

Somewhere I would like to go: EUROPE! [personal profile] ringsandcoffee gave me an easy letter there lol!

Someone I know: my friend EILEEN, who is a French hornist and performed in the pit with me on My Fair Lady. She is also a personal trainer and powerlifter and has an incredible physique and incredible discipline. I admire her very much!

Best movie: Lots of movies come to mind, the most obvious being Elf and the most underrated being Equilibrium (if you haven't seen it you should, it's quite good and came out around the same time as The Matrix so it didn't get the attention it deserved.) But my personal choice, this year, has to be Everything Everywhere All At Once.



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1. What did you want to be when you grew up?
As a toddler: bus driver! I blame the song, "Wheels on the Bus" haha!
After Jurassic Park came out, I went through QUITE a long phase of wanting to be a paleontologist.
Did not want to be a musician until about 5th grade.

2. Did you follow through? If not, what happened?
Considering that I first started considering being a musician in the 5th grade, I'd count that as a follow-through!
I know that a lot of people struggle to know what their "dream job" is, or feel guilty for not "following through" with childhood aspirations. But first of all, a lot of childhood "wanna be's" are founded on nothing at all...not knowing what you're good at, not knowing what's needed to become, say, a ballerina or a fireman. Becoming a musician WAS not easy, and being one IS not easy; it's just rewarding because I enjoy it, have invested a lot of work and effort into achieving it, and still have adventures to look forward to with it. But I easily could have worked just as hard or harder and not been successful. I think that success in a career is like 40% follow-through and 60% the chaos of life dictating what direction your path takes.

3. Is your life turning out the way you thought it would when you were a kid? If not, is it better or worse?
No, not at all! I didn't have clear thoughts on what my life would be like in the future anyway. I have always been both a realist and a pessimist even from a young age. So when it came to music, I hoped to end up in a major symphony orchestra, but also felt that there was a big chance I'd be living in a shitty NYC apartment with 10 other people and busking to afford rice and beans. Both were VERY real possibilities to me, and at some point I asked myself if I was willing to accept either outcome, and when the answer was "yes" I began to pursue music.

I also thought my mom would still be alive. And did not expect to meet someone that I wanted to spend my life with, either.

So with all that in mind, my life as a musician has been far better and more interesting than I could have ever imagined. I never dreamed that I could be a part of a circus for five whole years. Or work on a cruise ship, or take tours across the country, or play in a Disney band.
But as far as personal life, and loved ones, it is far worse than expected because my mom is not here...and, better than expected, because Jameson is a part of my life.

4. Paradoxes aside, if you could time-travel back to when you were 10 years old, what would you tell your 10-year-old self?
Your father is WRONG about everything about you. Do not listen.
Don't tell your sister about her questionable parentage.
GO TO YOUR MOTHER when she's dying. Don't be intimidated by potential anger from your dad or stepmom.
Starting now, work on getting citizenship in another country.
Invest in Apple.

5. Do you think the child you were, would like the adult you've become?
Mostly, yes. I think child me would be annoyed at how low-energy I am now, and surprised that I'd given up the orchestra route, but considering all the other stuff I've gotten to do I think even 10-year-old me would understand. Child me would probably think I ended up looking "gross" too HAHA. But child me was never into kids or socializing, so I think they would not be surprised at how I currently avoid my sister's kids or making new friends. Yes, child me would generally approve haha.
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Yeah, this is that meme that's been circulating, but I can't get up the guts to select ONE person from my friends and force them to interact with me...so I'm gonna tweak the rules of the process a little, and just post the prompt here for anyone to interact with.

If you have a question you've always wanted to ask me, now's your chance!

Feel free to ask anything at all...it can be about my work, the trombone, the circus, touring, my relationships, my personal life, anything. I have very little to hide.

Anonymous asks are fine, too,
if you've wanted to ask something but don't want me to know who's asking. I get that.

Here goes:
Ask any questions you like in the comments section.
I'll respond with answers to your questions in a related post.
If you want ME to ask YOU questions next, add "Come at me, bro" to your comment. Then I'll think of five questions to ask YOU!
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Sunday's Hat:
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I was delighted to find these among the winter hats! Wearing it drew a lot of interest, and several people tried it on throughout the night. Finally someone bought one, which pleased me greatly as that was the first sale of that hat since they've arrived. "Wear the hat you want to sell!"

It was very busy all night, but we were fully staffed for most of it so we got through it. And because there were more hands to help with closing tasks we got out of there more quickly too.

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Monday's activities:

- Mailing the condolence letters to my step-aunt and stepmom (aaaand it's Indigenous Peoples Day so the letters sat out there all day.)
- Requesting a new vote-by-mail ballot as mine was sent on 10/03 and either never appeared or I threw it out accidentally
- Laundry
- Trombone practice with a focus on mute changes (such a pain argh mutes)
- Making the caramels I've promised to send before going on tour
- Sweeping hurricane debris from the pool patio
- Meeting w/transcription QA person


For the first time in a really long time, I messed up my caramels.

Near the end of the process, just as the temperature of the candy was starting to hit remove-from-heat stage, I smelled burning. But there was nothing I could do with only three degrees to go; I just kept stirring and then removed from the burner as soon as the correct temp was hit.

Upon pouring out the caramel I saw that one small crescent-shaped sliver on the bottom of the pan was truly burnt, like my spatula hadn't even touched there.

What I believe happened is that I used a different spatula today, and it's the wrong shape.
The purple spatula is the one I used (it's also discolored after only one use which is disappointing.)
The red spatula is the kind I've used in the past (I went out and bought it from Publix after realizing what had happened.)
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You can kinda see that the purple one doesn't have as much surface area at the tip because it's so strongly curved. The red one has a defined flat surface area, if that makes sense. I think I was doing my normal stirring pattern, but the new spatula wasn't reaching an area of the pan, hence it burned.

Anyway the caramel is still good, but it's not **PERFECT** so I feel disappointed :(
After tasting it myself and making Jameson taste it, we agreed that it doesn't have a burnt flavor/aftertaste.
So if you're getting caramels from me: I'm so very sorry. They're not the best example of what I can do, and I wanted you to have the BEST caramels I could make :( :(  But hopefully you will still enjoy them, and you will let me try again after the holidays?

The transcription meeting was to let me know that I've done well enough to be allowed to turn in work without direct supervision/correction from now on. YAY! This is a type of work that I very much enjoy, and it's important to me to do an exceptional job. They seem well pleased and that was wonderful to hear. There are still quite a few things that I need to work on, but many of them are experience-based (I will understand things better as I go.)

This bucked up my mood from the earlier caramel fail.
The rest of the night was quiet.

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Tuesday's doings:

- Setting up and starting my new transcription project
- Processing the caramels (cutting and wrapping them, forgot to photograph this process)
- Lowe's for a hanging basket for one of the petunias
- A local car repair shop that has serviced my car many times, to drop off caramels I've promised like four times lol
- Checking on my vote-by-mail ballot (it'll be here soon)
- Grocery for ingredients for tomorrow's dinner
- Shipping caramels to an LJ friend :)
- More transcription
- Closing shift at the hat shop


Today's hat:
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Yes I've technically worn this hat already in a different color, but that was on Hurricane Day and there were almost no customers, so I feel it's OK to have a repeat just this once :p

It was moderately busy and we beat our sales goal by over $1000, yay (we don't get commission, just $1/hr extra in pay for that day, which frankly is the equivalent of finding five bucks in your coat pocket.) At the end of the night I was less cheery than usual because my back was hurting again...I don't suppose it could be because after straining it, I then swept and mopped at the hat shop two shifts in a row, and also spent 40 minutes sweeping our pool deck. DUH. Well, hopefully the massage on Friday will work that out.

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Wednesday was the first "cool" day of "fall" here in Florida. It was about 68°F (20°C) when I woke up. I opened the screen door to enjoy it while eating breakfast.

Today I didn't have a to-do list because the transcription work trumped everything else.
Worked on it all morning, ate lunch, practiced Elf.

After lunch Jameson and I went out back and breathed the cool air. I'm from the northeastern U.S. and Jameson lived in the north for a significant time as well, so we both often long for cooler, drier weather. In 48 hours it's supposed to be back up to the mid-80s. We will savor this cool weather while it lasts and what a treat it was today. Never thought that I would view temperatures in the mid-60s as a rare treasure, but here we are.

For dinner I made us butter chicken meatballs with brown rice and peas, naan on the side.
The sauce was so good I could have drank it! Jameson liked it a lot so I'll be making it again.
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We left the patio door open to enjoy the cool air for as long as we could before going to bed.

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Not a lot on the docket for coming days...I've still got the to-do list but am also not sure if my hat shop boss will continue to schedule me, or decide to cut me loose early. I've got a massage on Friday and of course continued tour prep.
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LiveJournal is celebrating it's 25th year of existence, and these 25 questions are part of the celebrations!

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Woke up too early, and now our departure has been delayed by an hour.
So! Killing time before the icy/snowy bus ride to Mississippi.

Questions are from "spiffkins" over on DW.


1. What’s the Coolest Thing You’ve Ever Seen in Nature?
  - Tough to pick just one thing!! I've watched the entire process of eggs becoming caterpillars becoming butterflies. I've seen foxes kill rabbits. I've run into many small animals (skunks, possums, groundhogs) and gotten close enough to touch them while following animal trails. I've also seen the Milky Way in a dark sky, and a desert sunrise and sunset, and strange flowers and mysterious woods. Probably the thing that stands out most is traveling across Salt Lake on the circus train. It was like flying across a mirror.

2. Could You Stop Shopping for an Entire Year?
  - Sure. Everyone could. Shopping is a "civilized society" construct, not a necessity. There's always bartering or self-sustaining.

3. What National or International Events That You Lived Through Do You Remember Best?
  - Obviously, 9-11 and the pandemic. I also have strong memories of the Kuwait War (I guess it's called the Gulf War now) because my dad watched it incessantly when I was a child.

4. Are Your Eating Habits Healthy?
  - Mostly and comparatively yes. I love to eat breads and carbs, and sweets, but I have a lot of self-control. Being able to eat the foods that I love is more important to me than being able to eat giant servings of the foods that I love. It's due to portion control that my eating habits are "healthy."

5. How Do You Fight the Winter Blues?
  - Remind myself that every single moment in life is temporary.

6. Does Technology Make Us More Alone?
  - No. In fact I think we're all feeling a little crowded lately. Interaction with each other and with global events is now constant, whereas before you had to wait for the newspaper or phone calls or letters or whatever. There's so much engagement and information saturation, it can be overwhelming. I think we are not adapted to handle the constant interaction that's being imposed on us, yet.

7. What Are the Most Important Changes, in Your Life and in the World, in the Last Decade?
  - Sorry but who would be so insolent and self-centered to think they speak for the globe regarding the most important changes in the world?? I'm one of eight billion people and what feels globally important to Caucasian American Female Me probably has ZERO importance to most people.
  - I AM qualified to have opinions on my own little life, though :p One important upcoming change is, I'm turning 40 and about to experience physical changes and degredation soon. Another is that at some point I'll have to sit down and form a plan for when I can no longer play the trombone and/or no longer tour. As for changes to my life in "the last decade", Jesus, I don't know...the pandemic? Inflation? Letting go of the ideal of capitalism and/or slaving away for a few dollars to make some random wealthy people happy, as our parents and grandparents seemed to think was the entire purpose of human life?

8. How Do You Greet Your Friends and Family?
  - "hi." WTF stupid question is this.

9. Would You Want to Be a Space Tourist?

  - No. Space scares the hell out of me. A void where exposure or radiation or the tiniest miscalculation can kill you. No thanks.

10. Do You Trust Your Government?
  - Another dumb question!! All eight billion of us, unless we have been brainwashed, would give the same answer!

11. How Much Do You Think About Your Weight?
  - Not so much any more, except to check it once in a while to see that it's within what I consider "normal and good", i.e. anything between 119-125 (8.5-9 stone.)

12. How Much Do You Trust Online Reviews?
  - Depends on what it is and who is presenting the review. Reviews from magazines (Good Housekeeping, Oprah, etc) are typically sponsored so "the best" product is one that has paid for that placement. Prefer reviews from real people, i.e. reviews from forums like Reddit where normal people chime in at random instead of a vetted and curated article. For restaurants I use a combo of Reddit reviews, Google reviews, and food website/blogger reviews, because restaurants generally don't pay for review placements.

13. How Do You Feel About Zoos?
  - I'm sad that they're necessary but also glad that they exist. Scientists have learned so much about animal biology and behaviors because of zoos, which benefits both us and the animals. It wasn't always that way, zoos used to be more of an exhibition and a profiteering thing, but I think now they're a lot more than that. And I have many veterinary, husbandry, animal technician/trainer friends who have taken me behind the scenes, where I've seen the real animal welfare that zoos foster, firsthand.

14. What Could You Not Live Without? What Could You Live Without?

  - Stupid Answer: Could not live without: Oxygen. Food. Shelter. Water. Vital Organs. Both A Mother And Father.
  - Stupid Answer: Could live without: Desserts. Governments. Money. Cars. Gallbladders.

  - Emotionally Correct Answer: Could not live without: Friendships. Warm Clothing. A Book. Animals. The Logical Part Of My Brain.
  - Emotionally Correct Answer: Could live without: Meat. Men. Societal Constructs. Jobs. Expectations.

15. What Are Your Experiences With Severe Weather?
  - I've been through two hurricanes, one serious enough to flood the basement and knock out power (Hurricane Irene, 2011 in Virginia.) Several snowstorms/blizzards resulting in feet of snow, loss of power and getting snowed in ("Storm of the Century," 1993.) One or two ice storms in which the ice was several inches thick. Several floods (my hometown is in a valley between two rivers so flooding happens every 3-5 years.) Having to wade through waist-deep flood waters to get somewhere safe. At least two earthquakes, neither of which were serious (One in California circa 2015, another in Virginia in 2011.) One tornado that passed right in front of me while I was driving, (Brooklyn 2007.) Many times driving through incredibly dangerous storms with hail, lightning, hurricane-force winds, whiteout conditions, ice, etc. Heat waves as hot as 125F (Phoenix, AZ), arctic snaps as cold as -20F (Philadelphia, PA.) That's all I can think of right now.
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Thursday was very chill, we woke up to an all-day sort of drizzle.

I worked at data entry all morning and wished I'd gotten up earlier to do work...it's, again, the feeling of guilt that I won't make 30 hours this week (I don't think anyone will, there was no work to be had for several days and you can't make up for things like that.)

Anyway that was pretty much my whole day, punctuated with a load of laundry and dishes and a trip to Chick-fil-a for dinner before getting dressed for Jameson's friend Paul's holiday party.

Paul holds a big party at his house every year during Twixtmas, and we go because it's very casual: show up whenever, no stupid party games or ice-breakers or activities schedule. Just grab a drink and a snack and mingle. I'm always impressed and jealous that he and his wife are such wonderful hosts; it's a skill and social level that I don't have, and so I admire it very much when I see it in others.

We drank and chatted, Jameson knew lots of people and I only knew a few as usual, and even those I had to ask for their names because we literally only see each other once a year, at this party. How embarrassing. But, I wasn't around years ago when most of these folks made their Disney-based friends connections.

We drank too much, certainly, but left around midnight and were in bed by 1.

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Friday I was awake at the usual time despite the late night. Breakfast and data entry and making a grocery list for New Year's.
I'd planned to go to Whole Paycheck today, but Jameson asked for salmon and I'm not having seafood sit in the fridge for days (we had a bad experience once with fresh shrimp.) So I'll have to wait until Saturday and brave the New Year's grocery rush.

In the afternoon we went for a walk as it was nice out.

Some Christmas decorations still up (yeah that's a Christmas goat):


Sidewalk art:


I saw many of these flower stalks at a distance. Turns out it's from a Mother of Millions plant, which is invasive and was probably dumped past the fence by someone who no longer wanted it as a potted plant.


It was a good walk, and opened up a few extra calories which was convenient as my sister's Christmas cookies finally arrived! She sent us a real "sampler pack" with at least eight different kinds of cookies, plus homemade marshmallows and a bottle of orange simple syrup she'd made herself! I can envision several good drinks made with that ;)

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Saturday I strategized, woke up early to get those New Year's groceries first thing in the morning. Because it's a holiday + a weekend, my logic was that most people would be sleeping in and then scrambling to get their groceries in the afternoon or evening.

This theory was about right. I was able to get to Whole Paycheck in absolutely record time (25 minutes!!! Usually it takes at least 40) and the store was nearly empty except for a handful of women who, like me, had done the math. Last year I remember everything being VERY picked over, and barely getting one of the last tiny jars of caviar, and having to fight crowds at the meat counter and at checkout. Today at 8am everything was well-stocked, there were no crowds to fight, and I could take my time to pick out what I needed.

(stock image)

As I selected some large, center-cut salmon filets for our special dinner--followed by a bundle of fresh green asparagus, then soft fragrant dill and parsley, and blinis and creme fraiche and expensive black sturgeon caviar--my heart filled with a quiet gratitude. Technically, I "can't afford" to shop like this. And yet. The fact that I can shop in a Whole Paycheck AT ALL is an incredible first-world privilege. What a miracle to have some of the freshest, highest-quality ingredients in the area available to me. To be able to make a special dinner for Jameson and myself, which will make the holidays feel extra-special and memorable. A lot of people don't get to do that. A lot of people don't have easy access to a grocery store at all, much less a fancy one. A lot of people go hungry and cold this time of year. And here I am choosing between sturgeon or black bowfin caviar to have as a SNACK. You know?

I checked out with my special goodies and got home just a little after 9am, which was also record time. Wished my sister Kate a happy birthday and sent her a small gift, then got to work with data entry until lunchtime.

It was a slow day. I should have gone for a walk, but somehow didn't feel like it.

Inner Thoughts )

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On Sunday, New Year's Eve Day, I got up VERY early because we wanted slow-cooker oatmeal (we saw it on TikTok and it looked wonderful!) The recipe called for an 8-hour overnight cook time, but unfortunately our crock pot is not only very old (no auto-on or timer settings), it's also a 6-quart, way too big for only two servings' worth of oatmeal.

My solution for this was threefold. First, I put all of the ingredients in a stainless steel bowl that would fit inside the crock pot.
Then I poured a cup of water into the actual crock pot, creating a sort of water bath to prevent burning or scalding.
Finally, I set it for a 4-hour cook on high instead of an 8-hour cook on low. Then I went back to bed!

Two hours later I got up and checked on it, and everything looked GREAT. It worked!
When Jameson got up we had warm spiced cranberry apple oatmeal with walnuts, pecans, and a splash of milk.


It was so good, in fact, that once tour is over I'll want to make it regularly!
The ingredients were old-fashioned oats, water, apple juice, golden delicious apples, unsweetened cranberries, brown sugar, butter, cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom, vanilla...and a little splash of spiced rum ;) We sprinkled the nuts on top after cooking. A great last-day-of-2023 breakfast.

In the afternoon my aunt called and we got caught up, then Jameson and I went for our usual walk. When we got back we decided to pull up the African irises that decorate the walkway to the house. In the spring they grow really tall and the leaves flop over onto the sidewalk, it's very annoying and also a trip hazard. They came up easily, roots and all, and we will replace them with a shorter plant like marigolds or something, idk.

For our special New Year's Eve dinner I made salmon filets in the sous vide cooker, then seared them in a pan and topped them with dill and lemon creme fraiche. The salmon was the best I've made, with a crisped crust and soft flaky interior.


The sides were lemon parsley couscous (I've never made couscous before!) and oven-roasted asparagus.


A few hours after dinner we enjoyed drinks (wine for me and beer for him) and mini blinis with plain creme fraiche and the black sturgeon caviar. This whole caviar thing is Jameson's family's New Year's tradition, not mine, so it's not nostalgic for me but it sure is an indulgence.


We didn't really do dessert, being full up of good food. Jameson played his game and I typed up this blog and planned what to do tomorrow, January 1st, 2024. Nothing special, but the holidays will be over and only one week left until tour resumes so I've got a lot of work to do. Cleaning, yardwork, making and sending caramels again, repacking...the usual. Guess I should practice too :p

Welp, that's a wrap y'all. Here's hoping that looking back on 2023 makes you smile, and looking forward to 2024 makes you excited for what's to come.
taz_39: (Default)
Gosh, Thursday and Friday were so hectic that I ended up not posting or thinking about anything for like 48 hours.

Thursday I got a flurry of calls and information from local trombonists and MDs.
Two of them are the trombonist and MD for a show I'm subbing for on Saturday, and they wanted to give me notes and get me a lot of info I'll need to do a good job for them.

Two of them were the trombonist and MD for the Main Street Philharmonic, because they're starting to look for subs for the holiday season and now that I'm on Disney's "employment" list, I don't have to complete onboarding (which takes weeks) which means I can be hired right away if they need someone. This doesn't mean I'll get a call, but being considered AT ALL is EXACTLY why I've been bending over backwards to be available for Candlelight even though it's costing me two weeks of My Fair Lady and is not a guaranteed gig. Getting sublisted for Candlelight is what got me onto the call list; if you are not on the Disney call list you simply will not be called. That is what's most valuable here: being on the radar. And I was pleased that the money I'm losing by being available for Candlelight is already putting my name into circulation for other gigs. Yes! That's the goal and what makes doing it worthwhile.

The other two were responding to a facebook comment I'd made, not entirely positive but not entirely negative, about cliques and "inner circles" in the music industry. Both were just looking to show support and network a little, which I appreciated.

But all of this cut into my work time, so I ended up a little behind by the end of the day.

I also had the "Production Superstars" meeting for TSOLife, myself and about six other employees who were singled out because our work is both fast and high quality (not to toot my horn, that's just what we were told.) Our supervisor wanted to know what we are doing that makes us so efficient. I had made a list in advance, and just copy-pasted it into the chat rather than take up everyone's time with running my mouth (and also so my supervisor could just grab it if she wanted.)

Everyone liked my suggestion about "Keeping your nails short"...I was just trying to think practically, of easy things that people can do to boost speed. I also suggested not biting off more than you can chew when selecting interviews, and multitasking with information (i.e. If you're filling out someone's education history, you can also look at the locations of the schools and use that information to fill out parts of the Places Lived section.)

We all recommended split screens/two screens, using Ctrl+F a lot, and exercising good time management.

Beyond that...I mean, I think the problem is just that some people have the personality type, and self-discipline, to be able to focus on a task for a long period of time, and others do not. There are many people in this world whose attention bounces around, and they have to work really hard to stick to one thing. As long as the company is hiring 1099 workers without filtering for specific standards, I think they're going to get at least 50% of their workers having sporadic attention spans. They've started requiring a typing test and a sort of short basic grammar/skills test, but that doesn't test for attention spans or discipline to stick to a task.

I was also expecting that some of the people in this chat would have previous editing/data entry experience like myself, but none did. Some had administrative experience and high typing speeds. So when it came to external factors, I had the "non-transferrable" of having worked for CapTel captioning realtime calls with my voice at 300wpm, which I'd say is fairly rare and develops the skill of "listening ahead"--stretching your short term memory to its limit while your text catches up to the breakneck pace of audio--that others would not have.

That was about it; I'm not sure if any of what we provided or suggested was useful, or if we're just statistically on a different part of the bell curve. The one thing I'd like to do before leaving for tour is leverage that a bit, now that I know I'm considered one of their faster/more accurate editors, and maybe just put it out there that I'd love to work in other capacities for them, perhaps training or doing something more involved than 1099 work at $12/hour.

Other than that it was a normal day. I had some tofu that was about to expire in the fridge, so I pressed it, tossed it in spices and corn starch, and cooked it in the air fryer.


It turned out nice, but started to soften shortly after coming out of the air fryer, so I threw it back in for a minute then left it in the basket for a bit. This way any steam coming from the inside could evaporate, rather than get caught in the crust. That worked well. It was good with sriracha and tamari.


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Friday started normally, but on his way out the door Jameson noticed that the AC was leaking in the garage and asked me to call our usual AC repair guy to come have a look. Unfortunately he was booked solid, so I took it upon myself to call someone else.

This turned out to be a mistake. I should have let Jameson know that our usual guy wasn't available, and maybe we could have waited (the AC was still working.) But I was worried to bother him or stress him out during rehearsal, so instead I called someone we didn't know. He seemed ok at first--identified that the drain was clogged and unclogged it with no issues, offered to change our capacitor because it was about due, and offered to cover up some exposed wiring at the base of our unit, which, fine, it was a small fix that took just a few minutes.

But somewhere in there, with switching the breakers and turning the AC unit on and off, something happened to the thermostat (a Nest unit.) It basically stopped responding, would not start up unless plugged into an outlet, and then would just demand to be put on the wall mount where it would promptly say it had no power and shut itself down. The repair guy tested the power at the wall and said it was fine, so there was something wrong with the Nest.

The repairs themselves probably took one hour and cost about $160.
But then he stuck around for an additional TWO HOURS, checking and double-checking his work, frantically pressing the Nest and trying to get it to start on the wall, muttering to himself and telling me "It's gonna be ok!" which was not remotely reassuring.

Finally I wrenched the Nest away from him and insisted that he leave, and I would handle it from here.
Keep in mind that I was basically unable to do any work while he was in the house (I don't know about you ladies but I'm not a fan of slapping on headphones and immersing myself in work while a stranger is walking around in my house) so in addition to the cost of the repairs and his labor, I was also losing hours of work. So hopefully you can understand why I very bluntly and unkindly asked this guy to please leave and send me an invoice.

And here's where it would have been nice to have Penis Privilege, or where once again I should have contacted Jameson to let him know what was going on.

Dudebro INSISTED on going to Lowe's to buy us a new Nest. I was so angry and worried and hangry at that point, and he was so stubborn and male-dominant about it ("I know what I'm doing and this will solve everything!", pushed back every time I said "no") that I finally gave in and said, "Fine, whatever, I just need this to be finished." So he went and picked up a new Nest. Tried the new unit on the old base, and it didn't work. Installed a new base, and it DID work. So we think that somewhere along the way while breakers were being switched, the Nest charging base got fried.

Turning this from a one-hour, $160 repair to a three-hour, $430 repair (the Nest is around $250 or something.)

When Jameson came home I had to explain what had happened, and he was (rightly) annoyed with me for how I'd handled it and angry with the repair guy for breaking our Nest (he may not have meant to but that's ultimately what happened.) I was crestfallen because I'd thought I was being helpful; I just wanted to spare Jameson from the stress of ONE thing, that should have been small. And instead it became a fiasco, at least partly because I didn't share all of the information with Jameson as it was happening. I was too concerned with "protecting" him from the drama and stress.

Jameson saw that I was upset and disappointed in myself, and quickly switched over to soothing and reassurance (this is one thing I really love about him, he is SO empathetic!) He said, "Next time, just tell me what's going on so I can have a say in what happens." I completely agreed, and apologized, and promised that if there was a "next time" I'd definitely make sure he was in on EVERYTHING, even if it would mean stressing him out. I'm glad to have a partner who's a REAL partner. We listen to each other, and are empathetic for the whys and hows behind each other's actions. I'll take that over a diamond ring any day.


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Saturday was a blessed day off for Jameson, he hasn't had one all week.
He watched Outside Xbox and some concerts and played video games, while I cleaned the bathroom and practiced for my show and finished up a few hours of work to make my 30 hours.

I was nervous for the show, but it went pretty well.
I showed up early and the MD brought me some Panda Express for dinner (very kind of him!) and we went over the book together.
Once we were in the pit I got to regale everyone with Stories of Circus Days, and that was fun.
Then we did the show, and it was just fine. I made mistakes of course, I'm not a perfect sightreader, but I didn't do anything embarrassing and didn't get lost once.


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Sunday, I got up early but not 6:30-early, and plowed through 3 hours of work.
Jameson had a very chill day, as it'll be his last full day off for nearly the entire month.
I practiced the trombone for a long time today, feeling more confident from having sightread The Prom the night before, and it was a good practice session.

We decided to go to Lazy Dog for dinner since Jameson had a free entree coupon.
We both got drinks and burgers, he got the "black and blue" I think and mine was a bison burger with havarti, caramelized onion, bacon jam, lettuce and tomato (I had them hold the mayo.) It was very good! That bacon jam was thicc.


Dinner at Lazy Dog is way better than brunch, just FYI.

We talked as we ate of course. About the work we've got to do coming up, and how it's now October 15th and there are only two weeks until I go on tour (GEEZ), and Jameson will be slammed with rehearsals and work up until I go. And how weird the holidays have the potential to be with both of us running around on gigs. It's all good things, thankfully, we were not complaining. Just...I guess speaking it aloud, making it real. For myself, I am a bit in wonder that there are performing opportunities post-covid. Covid was NOT the end of the world, and things are growing back. Not perfectly, and not the same as before. But growing back.

Back home I worked on Foodie Finds, and got really REALLY close to FINALLY finishing it! Yay!
Now I'll just have to go back and cross-check it all before tour starts :p

It was a lovely 68°F, so we had the screen door open and enjoyed the sound of crickets as we relaxed together.

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Let's see, tomorrow is Monday.

From now on I will have a lot to do, to the detriment of my data entry job.
Tomorrow I will work in the morning, and after Jameson leaves it'll be my last Whole Paycheck trip for ingredients for dinners and a treat for the week. Dinners will be sweet potato biscuits with honey ham, arugula, and spiced jam sandwiches; beef stronganoff; and individual apple tarte tatins.

It is supposed to be a high of only 72°F or so, so I will be going for a walk come hell or high water.

And then there's practice, cleaning, yardwork, packing, and more.

Oh, one more thing.
We got two large white envelopes in the mail today.
They contained a nice photo image of Disney's animation building; a letter of thanks for "contributing", as employees, to Disney's 100th year in business; and a special commemorative 100th Disney name badge.


I haven't done a single thing for Disney yet.
But maybe, someday soon, I will get that chance.
taz_39: (Default)
October 8 and 9 were the anniversaries of my dad and mom's deaths, respectively.

My mom passed away in October 2001 due to pancreatic cancer. She died within four months of diagnosis.


My dad died in October 2021 due to covid, because he did not vaccinate. He died within two weeks of contracting it.


I've had a lot more time to process my mom's death, plus I had a great relationship with her, so at this point remembering her and celebrating her life are a matter of course.
My dad, on the other hand. Our relationship was strained; we didn't hate each other or anything, just butted heads a lot. And he never spoke to me like I was an adult...I should say, he never spoke WITH me, always TO me or AT me. And that was a wedge between us.

But anyway, my sister shared playlists for each of my parents, which was beautiful of her.
I recognized all of the songs on my mom's playlist. She played music often when we were over for visitation, or on road trips. She would sing along, and dance with us, and let us listen to all of her cassettes (and later CDs) without reservation.
I didn't recognize a single song from my dad's playlist...and the fact that he had a playlist AT ALL was a shock. I didn't even know he listened to music, other than the radio when we were on road trips (and then it was mostly talk radio until my stepmom couldn't take it any more.) He never had music on in the house, like playing in the background or on for enjoyment. He never sang. I was really surprised to learn, this week, that he'd had musical interests, and had confided them in my younger sister.

I'm very glad that he shared this part of himself with her, and she in turn with us.
It was difficult for our dad to express himself, so perhaps my sister's quiet, open, empathetic nature led him to feel comfortable enough to tell her a little about himself. I think that's wonderful. Obviously I wish we'd had that kind of connection too, but it wasn't meant to be.

Anyway, I didn't do anything in celebration or remembrance, other than let my remaining family know that I was "here if you need to talk", and swapping a few memories back and forth. Some years I need to get emotional or spend a full day writing, or go out to distract myself. And other years I practically forget it's their death anniversaries unless someone reminds me. This year was something in-between; I just went about my day, and had thoughts, and that's all.

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Monday I got up early to do work. Jameson had his first rehearsal for Disney and was up at 8am. He'll be gone each day until 5pm or so, so during the day I'll get to make a racket on the trombone or clean or whatever without having to worry about disturbing him.

Today I did a few hours of work, had breakfast, more work, cleaned my car out a bit, practiced, ran to the grocery for a few small things, had therapy, and did more work.

Partway through the day I was listening to interviews and minding my business, with the screen door open since it's still nice and cool out. Because the screen was open I was able to hear a loud rustling in the wooded area behind our house. Quietly I slid the screen open and tiptoed outside.

Can you see him?


Here, let me help:


Close-up:
thumbnail_IMG_1864.jpg

That's a coyote.
Guess I'd better take care when I go across the fence to tend my banana trees from now on.

At 4pm I started making dinner (stuffed sweet potato skins and the potatoes take an hour to cook in the oven) and when Jameson came he had to do some office work and then one of his work colleagues called and wanted to chat so I sat and waited while dinner got cold. I won't pretend I wasn't miffed--like, just call the guy back after dinner--but I also understand. Now that Disney rehearsals have started things are going to be a whirlwind for him, and I need to be patient. He'd been working since 9am, and it was now 6pm and he was just getting home, after all.

Also he apologized profusely after hanging up, which helped :p

Dinner was good, it's one of our favorite healthy recipes that we've made many times.
Sweet potato skins stuffed with lean Mexican-seasoned turkey, spinach, and sharp white cheddar, topped with Greek yogurt (instead of sour cream) and avocado. Very tasty stuff!

Before and after cheese:


You have to scoop most of the guts out of the potatoes, so now I have a big pile of sweet potato. What to make!!
Sweet potato pancakes? Casserole? Pie? Cookies?

So many great options!

Jameson was able to post the first PR image for Jollywood tonight! I've already bought my ticket.
Obviously I'm very, very proud of him!


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Tuesday I was up early again, Jameson was up early to get to rehearsal.
The morning was cool so I had the screen open again--I may open it every morning from now on--but it got above 80°F in the afternoon so I was forced to shut it at lunch time.

Today's visitor was our red-shouldered hawk. He hunts this area frequently, we can hear his call from the woods and he's dropped from the sky in front of us often while chasing lizards. He's looking nice and healthy.


In the afternoon I decided to tackle the dead bush out front. It's not very big but it's spiky and of course roots will be difficult to dig up by hand with only a garden spade and hand saw.

Before:


I broke most of the branches off before using the spade to stab around the base of the bush to break smaller roots, find and remove rocks, and find the larger roots that would need to be cut. For the most part I was successful, but after about 45 minutes of hacking I still hadn't been able to reach the large central taproot. I could grab it with my hand, but getting enough leverage to cut it while in a squat, using a hand saw, was proving ridiculous. And my blood sugar was tanking, so I had to give up.

After. You can see the "trunk" is still there; I could saw that off and just leave the root ball and plant something over it, which I may end up doing, but I wanna have one more crack at it.


After lunch I felt drained but better, so I practiced trombone and worked for the rest of the afternoon.
Partway through the work day I noticed I'd been added to a Slack group called "Production Superstars Project" along with six other people. As I was wondering what that was about my supervisor posted the following:

"Hello friends! I have invited you to this group because you have shown, week after week, that you can process high-quality profiles at faster-than-average speeds. I would like to pay you for an hour or two of your time so we can talk about what it is about your work process that enables you to perform in such an efficient way. Ideally, I can then pass these gems along to the rest of the team to help support everyone in meeting our turnaround goals. Is there a time, maybe Thursday or Monday afternoon, that you are all available to zoom with me so we can brainstorm a bit?"

Apparently we six are doing a particularly efficient job!

I'd always wondered if I worked fast enough compared to other employees. Considering they've got something like 60 employees, I'll take it this as high praise. If they want to increase efficiency I'll gladly share what I do...but I also suspect that a lot of it is, uh..."non-transferable." Meaning a) I am the type of person who can do tedious repetitive work and consider it "fun", and not everyone else is like that; b) I have a background in transcribing realtime audio calls at 300wpm, which is unusual to say the least; and c) I don't have kids, pets, demanding partners, or other distractions imposing on my data entry time, that most other adults working from home probably have.

I'll be interested to see what the other five say about their abilities to be efficient. Maybe we're all childless, and that's the key factor. That would be hilarious.

I continued to work until Jameson got home. We had leftovers, then he had to do his office work and schoolwork. While he did that I dug my large suitcase out of the closet and started sorting things into piles for packing. This part sucks, everything scattered all over like the aftermath of an explosion, stuff that can't be packed until other stuff is packed, etc.


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Wednesday was a little different, I got up early and worked as usual but after Jameson left for rehearsal I got dressed and drove to Whole Paycheck. I wanted to make fish for dinner and the fish counter at Publix smells rank all of the time, so I don't trust it at all. I'd rather drive 40 minutes out of the way and get fish from a fish counter that smells like seafood.

Plus, shopping at Whole Paycheck is like a "treat yo'self" to me. There's always something "extra" that I just "have" to get! This time it was a Koia shake, because I noticed they've upped their protein content and added some new flavors (Cinnamon Toast Cereal!). I also treated myself to pink peppercorns to take on tour. Otherwise, just ingredients for dinner.

Back home I worked, practiced, ate lunch, the usual.
I cooked the brown rice in advance because it takes nearly an hour to cook on the stove. When Jameson got home I started making the mango salsa, then when I hear his conference call coming to an end I started grilling the tilapia. Dinner was ready right on time: lemon garlic cilantro-marinated tilapia with gingered brown rice and mango salsa.


This is an Allrecipes recipe that we've made many times, and it's one of our favorites because it's filling without making you tired/putting you in a food coma. I always feel energized after eating the fresh tilapia and vibrant salsa.

Jameson went out with friends while I poured myself a glass of red wine, vacuumed, ran the dishwasher, did a load of laundry, and put in another two hours of data entry. I happened upon a rather positive resident interview--she was so uplifting that it made the interviewer cry!--so that was a relaxing and nice way to end my night.

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Tomorrow (Thursday) I have a normal day but with the "Production Superstars" meeting, and for dinner I'm making whole wheat pasta with chicken in a lemon ricotta cream sauce.

Friday I'll take a break from making dinners, but may experiment with air fryer tofu and/or make some Fallish apple tarts.

Other plans include trombone practice, packing for tour, finishing Megan's Foodie Finds, and probably lots of chores.
taz_39: (Default)
Lately I've been feeling a deep sense of longing while listening to nursing home interviews.

Audio interviews are so much more satisfying than paper forms.

It's all the same info, but you can hear how the residents interact with nursing home staff, or with their spouses living with them, or with their children there to visit. You can hear their environment, the bustling noises of the facility: people shouting hello to each other in the hall; or the clanking of dishes if they're near the dining hall; or a fan running in the room; or the sound of cars or birds if they're interviewing outside.

It's the same kind of longing--almost nostalgia--that I felt with my job at CapTel.
In that role, I was briefly transported to a snippet of someone else's life.
And in this role, I am there with the elderly person in their room, holding my breath in empathy as they struggle to remember their birthdate, or smiling as they tell the story of how they met their husband. I hear the fan in the window where they are, and almost feel the breeze.

What has really touched me (something that's different from my work at CapTel) is the genuine LOVE and CARE that most of these nursing home residents are receiving from the staff. And no, it's not just because they're being recorded. Believe me, residents speak VERY freely when there is something that they don't like about their living situation. Some residents did not come to the homes by choice; their children or spouses forced them, or they've just had a stroke or a fall, and now they're scared or angry or depressed or bitter. And they voice those emotions QUITE clearly in these interviews.

But the love and the care...I hear it, and it's real. The interviewer is always a member of the nursing home staff. They ask the resident for pretty basic information, about things like hobbies and interests and preferences, their perceptions of themselves or their friends or their family members. They ask these things specifically for my employer, TSOLife, because the goal of the company (besides making money, duh) is to actually, really improve life for the people living in these facilities.

First of all, you can tell by listening to the interviews that 95% of residents enjoy being asked to share their interests and stories from their lives. You can also tell that the nursing home staff know the residents surprisingly well. Often a resident will say that they don't have any hobbies, or that their hobbies are "in the past", and almost always the interviewer will exclaim, "That's not true! I saw you enjoying music trivia last week," or "Didn't you have fun going for a walk with me yesterday?", and the resident says, "Oh yeah!"

I have heard interviewers tell residents how much they are valued, and encourage them to participate in specific activities, or give them verbal strength and support if they are grieving the loss of a friend or loved one (a common theme for all of us as we age, seeing our friends and family and sweethearts die around us.) I can hear their tone of voice, the emotions of both the residents and the interviewers. I can hear real compassion, empathy, and love.

And I am drawn to it like a fly to honey.

At CapTel, the experience was more like floating above the globe, and then when a call came in, being pulled down Google-Maps-style to a pin dropped in some random city or town, farm or office, living room or kitchen table. It was like being a little ghost floating from place to place, experiencing little tastes of humanity, splashes of mundane everyday errands or frantic business deals or energetic conference calls or emotional verbal altercations. Piece after piece, facets of humanity from all walks of life. Racists talking proudly about their hate, Jehovah's Witness services that could last for hours, someone ordering pizza from their car, a son calling his grandmother in the evening. Hour after hour, and I loved it. I loved being "Everything, Everywhere, All At Once."

This nursing home auditing is more niche, and far more emotional because as I listen to people sharing their daily habits, and their physical ailments, and their memories from childhood, and their current hobbies, I know and they know that they are at the end of their lives. The people listening to them now are some of the last to interact with them. All of the information they're sharing, that someone so fastidiously recorded and wrote down, and that I am paid to feed to an algorithm...in a few months, or a few years, none of it will matter any more. The things that they're proud of; the house they left behind; the career they had; it will all be lost to time. These people are looking more back than forward, and as a result when they talk about their lives--even their current lives--everything has an overarching, big picture, epilogue feel to it.

It's like coming to the end of a good book: halfway through the book you were like, "I can't wait to see what happens next!" But now you're on the last fifty pages, and with a feeling of sadness yet satisfaction, you set the book down knowing it's coming to an end, and once it's done that's it, and wasn't it a great read? I'd like to read it again.

But you can't.

I think it's true what Homer said: "Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed."

I wonder if we get reincarnated. I think so (and hope so.)
Because life is too short and there is so much that we don't get to do.

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All of that said, hearing the compassion and love and care that these residents receive, and hearing how surprisingly HAPPY most of them are, makes me long for what they have.

Sometimes, especially now when I'm dealing with anxiety, I feel so TIRED.
Sometimes, it sounds really nice to be assigned a little room that contains all of my scant worldly belongings, in a community where I have a schedule for sleeping and eating and exercising and participating, and all I have to do is just exist...just BE. Where outings are arranged for you, and it's OK to cancel if you feel tired because you won't be out money or inconveniencing anyone. Where someone will remember and care that you enjoyed music trivia last week, and will invite you to go with them again.

Where there is nothing lying ahead to trip you up any more. No more climaxes or tragedies or broken dreams.
Because there are only fifty pages left in the book.
The past is done, there is no future, and all that you are, all that you can be, is the here and now.

That's what I want, sometimes. The calm of knowing there's nothing ahead; the stagnant water and the still pond, and someone who cares, and who sits with you and listens to your last stories and observes your final days. And then one day, you don't wake up.

Ah.
taz_39: (Default)
Stolen from anais_pf

1. If you were a girl in the 70’s in the U.S., you were expected to take Home Ec. in high school. Did you and what did you take from the class, if anything? I was not "a girl in the 70s," but I was required to take Home Ec. It was co-ed, so both boys and girls learned about cooking and sewing. I want to mention that we also had co-ed Shop Class, which was woodworking, some minor wiring, and even some minor coding (sending commands to a robot arm to make it pick up blocks, that kind of thing.) In the cooking class we learned about all the parts of the egg, and learned to cook eggs in a zillion ways including scrambled, sunny side up, in quiches, and to make puddings. Which, while not very expansive, did teach me the versatility of eggs. The sewing side, we learned the parts of the sewing machine, how to make different stitches and work with a few kinds of fabrics, and we made a few small simple items like a "laundry bag" (it was a big cotton cloth bag with a drawstring, looked like Santa's sack) and an oven mit. It would have been a lot more useful to learn how to patch or hem things, IMO. But overall, not everyone gets to learn this stuff, so I thought it was a good class.

The cooking class final assignment ended up being a traumatic experience: we had to cook a meal for our family. I made French toast, bacon, eggs, and regular toast. And my dad was in a foul mood that day I guess, or maybe I was taking too long, because he followed me around the kitchen screaming at me, telling me all the things I was doing wrong, yelling for me to "Move it!", and then when I finally had everything on plates he complained that it was awful, that I'd burnt the toast and the eggs were cold and I hadn't done anything right. As my whole family ate in silence because everyone was afraid of his anger. Thereafter all of us girls were required to cook at least twice per week, meaning the terror and dread associated with cooking was now going to be a weekly occurrence.

So yeah, Home Ec was just great.

2. How were your school lunches? My parents packed our lunches, and overall they were really healthy and good. We did not have a lot of money so our lunches contained a lot of canned tuna and a lot of apples in various forms: raw apples, cut apples, apples in tuna salad, applesauce. As a result I couldn't eat apples for a few years after grade school (but I can eat them now!) Sandwiches were either tuna, PB&J, or off-brand thick-sliced ham. Mostly that was great but I always threw the ham sandwiches away because the texture was horrible by the time lunch rolled around, the ham or mayo somehow made the bread even more soggy than the tuna salad sandwiches. I was working at the age of 14 so I usually had a bit of pocket money, and our school lunches were $1.40. They were pretty typical...doesn't everyone remember "Salisbury steak" with the prefrozen patty, instant mashed potatoes, corn, applesauce, and roll? My friends and I used to make little Salisbury sandwiches. And the cheap plastic-y pizza, and the little tiny salad in a paper cup, and the little carton of chocolate milk.

3. Did you walk, take a bus, or have someone drive you to school? We walked to a bus stop maybe 1/2 mile down the road, which was fine most times of year but in the winter could get kinda ugly. It was also possible to walk to school if you missed the bus but that was 1.3 miles up a gradual incline, so you'd probably miss your first class. We never got rides in the morning because both our parents worked, but our stepmom was a teacher at the elementary school and we had some after-school programs, so in the evening we'd usually stay and do our activities, or if we didn't have any, walk to the elementary school to wait for our stepmom. Or we could ride the bus home and have an hour or two unsupervised, wherein we got away with lots of bad things like eating snacks or running off to play in the woods instead of doing our chores.

4. Were there any classes there were off limits to you because of your sex? Football of course. The others were not off-limits, and were specifically co-ed, but shop class was torture mainly because my stepmom INSISTED that we girls wear dresses to school at least twice a week. It's one thing to take shop class and another to take shop class in a frilly floral-print dress and Mary Jane shoes with your hair curled. I was made fun of relentlessly...not by other students, but by the TEACHERS. Two middle-aged dudes who thought it was HILARIOUS that I showed up dressed for church. Eventually I learned to cram some gym clothes into my backpack and sneak them out of the house, and change into those as soon as I got to school. So people thought I was super poor or homeless or a weirdo, but it was better than being openly laughed at by adults for being frilly.

5. Looking back on it now, what was the biggest life lesson you took from high school? 1 - There were actually good opportunities to learn, you just had to recognize them. I mean our school had a mini-planetarium for christsakes. 2 - Teachers are just as human as everyone else. 3 - Grades are not nearly as important as they are made out to be; what's important is what you personally learn, educationally and socially. 4 - I learned the priorities of my fellow students, and also the adults in my area, from high school. And I realized that I should not stay in my hometown. That was the biggest lesson that I learned.
taz_39: (Default)
Today in therapy the therapist wanted to discuss my priorities.
He asked, among the many priorities that I have--friends, family, work, self-care, health, etc--whether I feel there's an imbalance.

"Yeah," I said. "Work always comes first."

I mean, it has to, right? Nobody WANTS work to come first.
But we need food, shelter, and basic necessities, plus we want stuff. So work has to come first.

Several times now this therapist has hinted at me, or gently encouraged me, to consider not touring any more.
He says that the lifestyle may not be worth it.
He hinted at that again today, and when I pushed back he amended, saying that perhaps I could work a different job with the flexibility "to allow you to go on tour every year."

I cackled. He looked confused.

I said, "Going on tour every year is my DREAM. It's what I went to school for. If I knew, with full certainty, that I'd definitely be going on tour every year for the next five years, and the only caveat would be having to work a low-paying job in the interim, I would be overjoyed! And I would not be complaining about my current job whatsoever!"

"Oh," he said. "I hadn't realized touring wasn't a set thing."

Oh my LORD.

Now I have to wonder and ask: do people think that actors, musicians, and dancers are hired for a show...and that's their job, for life? Like, now we're set for the foreseeable future because we got booked on one show? Or maybe, that we'll just automatically be offered the next show that comes up, and the next, like salaried office workers being handed new projects to complete?

In case it needs explaining: musicians and actors are contracted workers.
Example: Brad Pitt signs a contract to act for the filming of a certain movie. Once all the rehearsals, travel, and filming for that movie are done, on that very day, Brad Pitt's contract is over and he's got to find work again (or it finds him, lucky dog.) The production company doesn't just throw him onto whatever project they're doing next; if they're doing an animation film, or an all-female cast, or a kids movie or whatever, it may not call for a Brad Pitt.

When I go on tour, I sign a contract to play trombone for all live performances of a certain show. Once all of the rehearsals, travel, and performances for those shows are done, on that very day, my contract is over and I've got to find work again. The production company doesn't throw me onto whatever show they're doing next; if they're doing Waitress (no trombones) or Jagged Little Pill (no trombones) or Paw Patrol Live (no musicians at all), they do not need me and have no reason to continue employing me.

It's called being a contractor, people. A plumber is a contractor, a laywer is a contractor. They are paid per-service, per-meeting, per-project.

Maybe no one here needed that explanation, just my poor therapist. But there it is, in case. Just because I did Tootsie for two years doesn't mean the touring company is obligated to employ me for anything else, ever.

I explained all of this to the therapist, and that I could go for years without being offered a single job in music. But when I DO get musical work, it typically pays far better than any hourly job I have to do in the meantime. Which is one of many reasons why I will never, ever turn down a tour...unless I magically get something that pays better. Hasn't happened yet! 

He's still got a very good point: I should consider what other types of work that I can do that would pay as well or better than music. I should research ways to make myself qualified for the work that I want, that will make me financially stable and happy once I stop accepting tours (whenever that is!). But also, I'm going to gently tell him at the next session that I don't want me declining tours to be a topic of discussion in therapy right now. Mainly because, this is the third year in a row that I've been able to tour, and that is 100% what I have wanted to do with my life and what I went to school for, regardless of my age or health or financial stability. The thing that I wanted and worked so hard for is actually happening, and I am SO not closing the door on that right now.

It DOES come first.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Unrelated, just ironic:

I got up an extra hour early this morning to do data entry work because due to a companywide production error over the weekend, I'm now behind a day and a half (about 9 hours of my 30 per week.) My plan was to do eight hours per day until I'm caught up, and today I had therapy and trombone practice and I have to cook dinner for us, hence getting up early.

So of course what happened? They ran out of work.
It's lucky that I did get up as early as I did, because I just barely made five hours and the poor employees on the west coast definitely got half that or less by the time they woke up this morning.

But I am definitely not getting up early tomorrow unless I see new files to pull from before going to bed tonight.

On the bright side, when I poked my supervisor to say "Pls may I have more works nao," she said she'd see if they could cross-train me to process audio as well. Cool!

taz_39: (Default)
Some photos of myself and my partner/S.O./boyfriend, Jameson.
We've been together for nine years.




This was during the "band gag" for Ringling Bros, where we would hide in the audience and be "randomly selected" to play instruments, so the sweater I'm wearing is actually a costume piece to hide my circus costume. A friend was in the crowd and took this picture, and I think it encapsulates our relationship perfectly haha.


Name: Megan O'Malley or Megan OMalley because apostrophes ruin everything.

Age: 38 (39 in a month)

Location: on tour, and/or a suburb of Orlando

Occupation: Currently on tour as trombonist with Tootsie the Musical. When I'm not getting to be a musician, I unfortunately end up working low-paying data entry or service jobs because me and my skills are not valued in the work force.

Significant Other: Jameson, 41, online instructor for LA Film School, keyboardist and multi-instrumentalist and music tech specialist who is frequently called upon to program audio or write tracks for popular musicians. He loves gaming and puzzles of all kinds, and is currently working on reinventing himself professionally, earning a masters degree and applying for all kinds of opportunities. He's super hot also :D

Kids: Neither of us wants kids. Jameson doesn't want them because he has several genetic conditions that he does not want to burden a child with. I don't want them because I've never wanted kids in my whole life and "social expectations" in that department mean absolutely nothing to me.

Parents: Both dead. My mom died of pancreatic cancer in 2001; my dad died of covid in 2021 due to refusal to vaccinate. I was very close with my mom and miss her terribly every day. Not so much with my dad, but it still hurts that he's gone. Both died before the age of 65.

Brothers/Sisters: Ok buckle up, this is complicated. I have three sisters and a brother. My parents had me and my sister Kate before they divorced. After they divorced they both remarried. My stepmom brought a daughter from a previous marriage, that's my stepsister Kayle (pronounced KAY-luh). My mom and my stepdad had two children together, Jonah and Raven, who are my half-brother and sister. That make sense?

Pets: None at the moment. I've had several beta fish over the years, and feral cats that we took in from time to time. Never really got on well with dogs, but Jameson had them growing up and is partial to Bernese Mountain Dogs and Samoyeds. When I was little I won a goldfish from the fair and named him Twiddle, he lived to be at least 18 and grew as big as my hand, then was released into the Susquehanna River, where I like to imagine he rules the underwater world to this day.

List the 3 biggest things going on in your life:
1. Being on tour through June.
2. Trying to get moving professionally again after covid...another tour? Local gigs? ANYTHING that pays a living wage? Learning a new skill?
3. Just trying to go day by day. Since the pandemic it's like I can't trust anything anymore. How can anyone make solid plans for their life when it could all be pulled out from under them at any minute? With my mom's untimely death at 42 and my dad's death at 62, I'm trying to be selfish, and do what I want, as much as possible, because that's the only control I have.

Where and for what did you go to school for?:
UNC School of the Arts, Music Performance on trombone. IUP, same.

What are your hobbies?
I'm a foodie, so trying new foods, cooking and baking, and exploring flavors is a hobby for me. Being on tour means I get to really exercise this hobby, which is great! I also like walking in nature, just being quiet and letting my senses be filled with the weather and terrain and whatnot. Reading, watching anime, relaxing with Jameson. A little gardening and curiosity about plants and animals in general.

Who are some of your closest friends?
I have very few close friends, because I'm abrasive and blunt and condescending. Plus I'm not a "good hang"...I don't like the social expectation that you have to go out late and drink to have friends, so that excludes like 90% of people I could have been friends with, if they'd interact with me sober. Oh-fucking-well! My closest friends are Jameson and some people from my time on the circus.

Random Facts About Me:

- I'm left-handed.
- My mom was half-Japanese, so I am 1/4 Japanese. Also my Obaa-chan had a lot of Ainu or Jomon heritage according to DNA tests (Ainu/Jomon are some of the native populations of Japan).
- I was born in Scranton, PA of "The Office" fame. It's not nearly as cool as on tv, sorry, it's a depressed coal town.
- I was born at home with a midwife.
- I have a dark and thick limbal ring, and "nuclear dot opacity", which are always the subject of much discussion at the eye doctor's.


- I have lived on a train, a boat, in a car, in apartments, and in houses.
- I was a circus musician for five years and would have gladly continued doing that job for the rest of my life if the circus hadn't closed.
- I'm an INTJ, which means personality-wise I am difficult to get along with, super blunt and logical, and tend not to want to coddle emotions, which is why I have very few friends. I've tried to be "more like everyone else", but then I'm just being fake, so it doesn't last long. It's just the way I am.
- I consider myself to be centrist...progressive, but CENTRIST. There are good and bad conservative AND democratic stances, and I agree with many things on both sides.
- I waste money on silly things more and more as I get older. Perhaps because I'm approaching 40, and in the context of how my parents died, money has become more and more arbitrary.
taz_39: (Default)
My year in 2022:

- First year without parents.

- Wore a hat with animal ears, in public.


- Dyed my hair for the first time.


- Drove a pickup truck for the first time.
- Used SudShare for the first time.

- Visited new places including:


  • Des Moines IA

  • Tulsa OK

  • Tempe AZ

  • Tucson AZ

  • Costa Mesa CA

  • Wilminton NC

  • Utica NY

  • Springfield IL

  • Tysons VA

  • Akron OH...and probably more I'm forgetting!


- Saw a whale shark.


- Experienced food delivery robots (CLICK HERE to watch)
- Visited the most incredible rose garden.


- Saw a 22-degree halo.


- Caught covid (and survived it because I'm VACCINATED).
- Caught the flu and had to play five shows with it (-_-)

- Ate a RIDICULOUS number of new foods including:


  • roasted grasshoppers


  • rattlesnake & rabbit sausage

  • grilled cactus

  • egusi stew with pounded yam

  • tripe

  • ponmo (boiled cow skin)

  • gomen, kik wot, dinich alicha, qessir, and shiro (Ethiopian vegetarian sampler dishes)


  • dried crabs, dried squid

  • canned eel

  • pickled quail eggs

  • pre-poached eggs

  • pine cone jam


  • longan fruit

  • mangosteen


  • Korean melon

  • dried hawthorn berries

  • star apples

  • white strawberries

  • dried jackfruit

  • fruit sando

  • Grape Nut ice cream; goat milk ice cream; beet ice cream; pear bleu cheese ice cream; strawberry balsamic ice cream; Earl Grey ice cream

  • a "Dutch letter"

  • injera

  • fonio

  • lupini beans

  • lotus chips

  • kuikui nut

  • dried purple potatoes

  • vegan cheese, chik'n, deli "meat", tofu "steak", and mushroom jerky


  • sushi directly from Japan

  • borscht


  • REAL pierogi

  • spam musubi

  • Peruvian rotisserie chicken

  • nitro matcha tea

  • coffee soda

  • pineapple beer

  • peach cider

  • Cel-Ray soda


  • pork floss roll

  • knish

  • tangerine tart

  • chestnut crepe cake


  • homemade manju

  • spelt biscuit

  • savory cheesy French toast

  • rainbow xiao long bao


  • sansai soba

  • vending machine pizza

  • bread from a James Beard Award-winning bakery


- Cooked or baked many new foods including:

  • air fried eggs, cheese bites, and biscuits

  • mayak eggs


  • white chicken chili

  • bolgogi beef

  • peanut butter bread; potato bread; seeded bread; cheese filled buns; steamed mantou buns


  • sticky buns

  • souffle pancakes

  • "snacklebacks"; potatoes au gratin; fondant potatoes

  • banana pudding cheesecake


  • fermented pepper honey

  • honeycomb candy

  • coconut lime pops

  • butterscotch sauce

  • eggnog snickerdoodles

  • rum balls

- Got a full nutrition profile including DEXA scan, body fat index, and counseling with a dietician.


- Sat in a hospital post-op room (have never been in one before).

- Applied to be a 911 dispatcher and made it through 2/3rds of the application process before realizing I wouldn't be able to do it short-term.
- Worked for the Social Security Administration as a Verbatim Hearing Reporter in disability court.
- Listened to senior citizens tell their life stories, and transcribed those stories for their families.

- Experienced Mickey's Not So Scary.
- Rode Hagrid's Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure (and didn't even barf!)
- Saw Roger Waters at the Amway.

- Saw a guineafowl in person.
- Saw a white ermine in the wild.
- Saw polydamas caterpillars!


- Found a burr oak acorn.


- Used a compactor + polymeric sand.
- Rented and drove a U-Haul truck.

- Auditioned for an ACTUAL Broadway show.
- Was added to the Cirque du Soleil casting list.

- Created and ran a foodie group with 30+ members.

- Visited more Asian grocery stores than I have ever been to in my life.
- Visited many museums, gardens, and galleries.

- Flew more than I ever have in my life, probably close to 100 flights.

- Jameson had hernia surgery.
- Jameson started grad school.
- Jameson won awards for his programming work, and got to program music for a known pop star.

- Celebrated nine years with my Jameson!


...among many other things.

Things that I regret in 2022:


- Not really being there for my family OR my boyfriend.
- Being unable to mitigate my anger when my pet peeves are touched on.


Things that I DON'T regret in 2022:

- Doing SO MUCH.
I am endlessly grateful that being on this tour allows me to not waste my time on the planet. Traveling so much is difficult, being away from my important people is difficult, there are massive stressors and risks and costs. But ultimately the one thing I've learned this year is that we only get one life (that we know of), and in my opinion wasting it following the crowd, kowtowing to social and societal expectation, or living a life that you just do not want to live, is a terrible waste. I don't get to do EVERYTHING that I want of course, and I'm not naive; there WILL come a time when the freedom I enjoy now will be lost, and control over my life will be snatched away from me by health issues or unexpected events. And that's why getting to have that freedom and control now is a massive blessing, to be treasured and looked back on with joy.

Things that I dread in 2023:

- Whatever insanity our global governments, homegrown terrorists, and billionaires have planned.

Things that I look forward to in 2023:

- Finishing out this fun tour with Tootsie!
- Any potential for Jameson or I to get leverage in our professional lives.
- The potential for things to start shifting toward what Gen Z and the actual working generations want.


Hopes and Goals in 2023:

- I'd love to know what I'll be doing for work when this tour ends!
- International travel would be really nice.
- Any sort of leverage now that covid is on the backburne
r. Perhaps an opportunity to learn or to travel or to work for a living wage. Anything that does not involve sitting at home and being frustrated, or endless hours of job searching just to get something minimum wage. I am so tired of being stagnant since the pandemic started. So tired of our lives being put on hold, opportunities being put on hold. Let us move forward in 2023, PLEASE!!!

(Last year's post: https://taz-39.livejournal.com/170835.html)
taz_39: (Default)

1. What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before?

Loads of things. Visited several new cities, ate grasshoppers and a zillion other new foods, caught covid, made cheese-filled bread...I could go on

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I haven't been making them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

I don't think so. Had enough of that garbage in 2021 thanks.

5. What countries did you visit?

None sadly.

6. What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022?

More job security. More patience and/or empathy. Therapy, lol.

7. What date from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

June 16, the date of Jameson's hernia surgery. We were both so scared.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Probably that would be not wrecking my car on the way up and down the coast in horrible weather.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Having zero patience for people who can't be bothered to read what I wrote and then feel they need to comment on what they didn't read; and/or having zero patience for people who feel they MUST give unsolicited advice despite being asked multiple times to stop; and/or having zero patience for people who cannot bring themselves to treat me like a human being and not a soapbox for their needs; and/or being completely unable to see how I'm the one in the wrong for not lying down and letting people step all over me and my content like I'm socially expected to do. As you can see I'm still failing miserably in this department.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Covid in June, the flu or some respiratory thing just a few weeks ago.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Itaki steam cooker. Life-changing!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Jameson's! He started going to the gym regularly, eating healthier, and is planning vacations for himself. I am so proud of and excited for him!!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The vast majority of Boomer voters.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills of course.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Getting to have Christmas with Jameson. Getting to make new foods is also always pretty exciting to me.

16. What song will always remind you of 2022?

Running up that hill by Kate Bush!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

Happier or sadder? Same!

Fatter or thinner? Same!

Richer or poorer? Unclear!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Stressing over shit I can't control.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I had a GREAT Christmas with my Jameson, eating yummy food and opening presents together <3

21. Did you fall in love in 2022?

Nope!

22. How many one-night stands?

This is a stupid question on these surveys! I'm almost 40 FFS

23. What was your favourite TV program?

I liked the most recent season of Dragon Prince, and the latest Rick & Morty.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hate is way too strong a word. I've been super annoyed by people, but can't think of anyone I hate.

25. What was the best book you read?

Grapes of Wrath.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Not a thing.

27. What did you want and get?

More things than I can count. I am very fortunate.
Specifically: lots of new and exciting food adventures!

28. What did you want and not get?

An electric toothbrush!

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

Didn't really watch any.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I baked a lot of nice things including lemon bars and peanut butter bread, Jameson took me out for a nice dinner, and we watched the Winter Olympics. I was 38.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Actually winning that audition for that Broadway show.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022?

Concert black. As comfortable as possible.

33. What kept you sane?

I wasn't sane to begin with.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Could care less about people who posture for attention.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

All of them were bullshit. The general platform of hate and attempts to take rights away from people and/or revert to 1950s-era level of hush-hushing, social shaming, and white privilege, were all pretty disgusting. Will be very excited when a certain generation gets TFO and quits sucking resources and opportunities away from their children.

36. Who did you miss?

My mom.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

I don't know. There were some really nice restaurant owners, some really nice hardworking people that I met in passing.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022:

Very few people read words and then process the information contained in them any more. Few people are capable of, or willing to make the effort for, critical thought and reciprocation in a friendship relationship. Wasting my time handholding people and expending my own effort 90% when they'll only reciprocate 10% or less is sad, and a waste of my and their time.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

One day, we'll make it...we'll look back on all of this and laugh.

40. Post a picture of something that made you happy this year



41. Did you wrong or hurt somebody in 2022?

Absolutely. I'm a human being.

42. Is there some new place you are planning to visit in 2023?

many many restaurants.

43. Where would you have wanted to go and did not in 2022?

On a vacation with my Jameson.

44. Did you learn any new life skills in 2022?

Using a steam cooker regularly? Using a compactor, and polymeric sand.

45. Any new food or drink preferences developed in 2022?

I find I don't want cold cuts or plain chicken breast any more, and have started replacing that with pork and fish, or vegan options like seitan.

46. What is your greatest fear for 2023?

Some health or financial issue that will bankrupt me. Thanks a lot for nothing, American health care.

47. Did you follow any sports event in 2022?

Hell no.

48. Which social media did occupy most of your time in 2022?

Blogging I guess, and TikTok.

49. Is there somebody you feel particularly grateful to this year?

Jameson, for taking care of himself while I'm away and for just being his awesome self.

50. Name a hope you have for 2023:

Less stress. More opportunity.

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