The Shame of Buying Groceries

Welcome to Covid April. Lol.

My week was much the same, going to and from work, kind of wincing when I realized I needed gas even though I took every precaution possible (holding dispenser and pushing buttons w/paper towels, hand sanitizing right after).

The call volume at work seems to be going down a bit but not enough for supervisors to return to regular tasks yet.
I'm trying to appreciate what I'm doing now as I enjoy the captioning parts.

On Tuesday I got a tip off on a Walmart that possibly has some toilet paper in stock.
I'm no hoarder, but Jameson and I are down to TWO rolls, so I think it's justified for me to want to buy some.

Isn't it weird to feel guilty about wanting to buy toilet paper? Or go to the grocery store, or get gas?

I used to go to the grocery kind of randomly throughout the week, whenever something ran out. There's one right next to my work so it was easy to just pop in and grab a yogurt for the next day, or a quick lunch if I was feeling too lazy to pack mine.
But now I am strictly, STRICTLY limiting grocery stops to once per week, and then always to the same exact store to reduce my footprint and anything I might be unknowingly spreading around.

I don't have gloves or a mask, so I've been using a produce bag over my hand to pick up fruits and veggies, and in general just trying not to touch anything unless I'm buying.
I build these elaborate grocery lists that reflect each aisle, what order I'll visit them, so that I leave the smallest possible footprint in the store.
I feel guilty when someone is wearing gloves and a mask and I'm not.

IDK about you guys, but my grocery shopping brings up a lot of worries like:
- Am I doing enough?
- What if I need something at another store?
- Am I far enough away from everyone?
- How can I change the way I'm breathing to reduce putting droplets in the air?
- Are people judging me for not having a mask/gloves?
- Do I need to wipe down all of these groceries when I get home, plus surfaces they touch?
- How can I protect the cashier? She's like two feet away from me...

All of these things and more, I'm sure many of you feel the same.
It's a strange new world. I'm glad so many people are considerate. I feel like an ass with the new CDC face covering recommendations and not having a mask, but I do have one on the way over from a friend. She made them herself! One is for Jameson and one is for me. Bet you can guess which I'll be wearing :D


So to sum up my grocery guilt, on Wednesday I decided to visit TWO stores, and not only that neither of them was my "designated grocery" for social distancing purposes. I've been going to a Publix down the road. On Wednesday I went to a Walgreens and a Target.

The Walgreens was for printer ink and also one of Jameson's favorite Easter candies.
I'm kind of using Easter as my whole excuse for breaking my grocery vows.
The Target was also more or less for Easter candy selection, but also I had tried to prepare a cart for pickup so I wouldn't have to go through the whole store breathing on stuff and touching stuff. When I realized that this was going to be impossible because of all the refrigerated items I was getting, I decided to just go. If there's an outbreak there I'm gonna feel guilty.

Anyway, so much has changed.
I walked in the doors and was immediately addressed by an employee standing 6ft away wearing a mask and gloves.
Another employee was nearby with mask and gloves, wiping down carts.
Employee 1 pointed out a "sanitized" cart for me to take, I said thanks and took it, again feeling like an ass for having no mask/gloves and putting my dirty mitts on the clean cart.
In the produce section employees were restocking, every single one wearing a mask and gloves.
At one point someone's phone rang and he scooted away from the produce, stripped off his gloves to answer the call, and when it was over got himself a new pair of gloves and continued stocking. I thought this was incredibly thoughtful.

Shopping took a very long time, mostly because I had to get a lot of produce for the recipe and because social distancing means waiting while others get what they need and move on. I think I was in the store for over an hour. In various departments I noticed signage limiting what customers could have (4 cans of soup, 4 loaves of bread, 2 fresh chicken meats, 1 toilet paper item, etc). I also saw Target employees watching certain sections like the milk/eggs area, and learned that they were there to make sure people are social distancing and also to wipe down the refrigerated section door handles.

Oh yeah, toilet paper! I passed by the tp aisle and glanced in, already resigned to seeing empty shelves. But surprise! It was FULL of toilet paper! I stood and gaped for a moment, then picked up a 9-pack for Jameson and I. And felt guilty doing it, even though I'm doing nothing wrong and that's the size we normally buy. As I turned to leave I had the pleasure of seeing an older couple enter the aisle and come to an astounded, wide-eyed halt.

"WOW!! Toilet paper! It's really here!"
"We've looked all over Florida!"

And they both started laughing giddily as they picked up a pack.
What a weird freaking world we are in.
But I was glad for them.

So I got my groceries and went home.
This week was the first time I felt like I actually was able to get all that I needed, including toilet paper.
There are still some things missing on the shelves, like Clorox wipes or whatever, but in general I felt that supplies are coming back around.

Back home I cooked up some chicken for chicken salad for lunches.
In the afternoon we went for a walk around the neighborhood, talking and looking at peoples' yards and stuff.
When we came back I cooked us some chicken meatballs in coconut curry, one of our favorite easy summer dinners. Yum!


I had steno class at night, it went OK but not great. I've been struggling with learning numbers as there are several ways of typing them out and learning them all is kinda blowing my mind. But my teacher says that's ok so I've got to believe her.

On Thursday I enjoyed a lazy day, goofing off on the computer and eating snacks.
I did a little gardening although there's not much to be done right now, just harvested some cherry tomatoes and basil.
In anticipation of having these ingredients I also bought mozzarella balls and made little caprese bites!


My passion fruit only flowered about a week ago, and the fruits are already very big! I'm super impressed.


As I was poking around I noticed something yellow off in the distance, over the property fence. I climbed over to have a look and found a lovely little cactus in bloom and a bee inside enjoying himself <3 How cute!!

https://instagram.com/p/B-w_EpFAa5k

Later in the day I had a nice video chat with my family. It's amazing to see how much Elliotte has grown! She's walking now too! Crazy. Overall it's great to see everyone, even though we're far away :)


During our little chat the doorbell rang! It was one of Jameson's friends, she's opened her own baking company!
Get a load of this logo!!


The treats are DELICIOUS. Huge big cookies and lovely lemon cupcakes. Definitely check them out! Quarantine Dessert Company!

The rest of our night was pretty uneventful. I did laundry and prepped for work, Jameson played Animal Crossing and raked the yard.
Sunday is Easter and honestly I'm looking forward to the day off!

In closing, here is Jameson after working his cute butt off in the yard!