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taz_39 **Disclaimer** The views and opinions expressed in this post are my own, and do not reflect the views or opinions of my employer. DO NOT RESHARE ANY PART OF THIS POST WITHOUT PERMISSION. Thank you.
This post covers Wednesday and Thursday.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
WEDNESDAY
I was awake rather early, so went to free hotel breakfast again to steal more peanut butter :P
Breakfast and updating Boston Foodie Finds because I found out that Maruichi, the Japanese grocery that I just visited here in Hartford, has a location in Boston too! I'd really like to go! On a less positive note, it looks like DAR's Boston vacation is happening while Jameson is visiting. Jameson was very much looking forward to meeting DAR, but that will have to wait for another time. Rats.
As planned I had a slow morning, just doing a bit of meal planning and binging several episodes of Beastars and waiting for the temp outside to get above 40°F (4.44°C.) At least it was sunny and clear out!
I ended up walking to Grocery on Broad. It's a small bodega with a portion of their proceeds going toward local job training, with a special focus on people who often have trouble finding work (former convicts, homeless folks, addicts, etc.) Sadly there was not much LOCAL produce or goods, only raw meats, and even though I have an oven I don't want to cook this week. Soooo walked all the way back. But I got some fresh air.
The rest of the day was quiet. I had a little nap and a snack, watched more anime, read my book, and talked with Jameson who was having his first day of PT for his neck/shoulder (the PT will solve nothing but is to convince his insurance to cover surgery, which like every aspect of our "health care" lately is completely idiotic.) It sounds like it went as well as it could. Later in the day I lit one of my Bittersweet Candle Co candles, listened to music, and tried to center myself. I still felt stressed by the time showtime rolled around, though. Not sure why but it's likely because Koz (our supervisor) is coming tomorrow, and my sister's family is coming on Saturday, and overall it kind of feels like Philadelphia all over again with anxiety and feeling like I'm under scrutiny and judgement.
I had a hard time performing the show because of the anxiety + acid reflux/fluttery stomach, but got through it and DAR seemed very pleased with how we played. That's great, I hope we do just as well for Koz tomorrow.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
THURSDAY
I was wide awake at 6:30am and had to force myself back to sleep. This probably means I'm caught up on sleep debt and now I'm swinging back toward restlessness and twitching to Do Things. Breakfast and chatting with my sister about her visit on Saturday/planning to have a meal together. It was significantly warmer today but I had nowhere to be and had walked five miles yesterday, so was inclined to stay at the hotel for most of the day.
I did do an Amazon grocery delivery because I'm already short on protein and there are no viable grocery stores or even convenience stores downtown (food deserts/apartheid are the WORST.) And ONCE AGAIN they screwed up: they delivered to the wrong address (I literally JUST had an Amazon order disappear in Orlando as well.) This is the picture the delivery driver sent:
One of the hotel staff recognized the floor and was able to guess where it might have ended up, but by the time I had walked all the way there and found the random corner of the freaking public transit plaza where the bag had been dropped off, someone had not surprisingly stolen it.
Fuming, I walked back and placed an identical order again, this time writing "HOTEL NAME!!!!!" all caps AND I wrote the address twice, both in the address bar and in the delivery instructions, AND I switched delivery from "drop off" to "hand off" so that they'd physically have to put it in my hands.
An hour later a delivery driver arrived, smiling, with my order. I took the grocery bag from him, relieved....
....and opened it and saw that half of the items were NOT what I had ordered.
I'm never ordering Amazon/Whole Paycheck delivery again.
Went back to my room and had a frustrated scream and threw an empty cardboard box against the wall a few times. Requested refunds for both orders (for the second one, just for the items that were wrong/missing.) Fumed some more. Then went on with my day.
At 1pm we had an "allieship" meeting, optional, in one of the hotel's conference rooms. It was pretty good but even at 90 minutes it was not long enough for such a complex topic, for this group of people from various walks of life who all have so much to contribute and learn on that topic. The presenters did a great job and I got some new perspective on what it means to be an ally and some actions that can be taken in-the-moment, but on the feedback survey I did say that I wish we could do a more involved course or longer seminar to get a better understanding. Personally the thing I was hoping for was this: I find it difficult to be a good ally when I'm coming from a place of ignorance. I don't have any idea what it's like to be black, or gay, or Muslim, etc etc and all sorts of people whom I would like to be an ally to. And this means if I try to take action or support someone from a place of ignorance, even if well-meant I can cause more harm than good. I wanted to learn more about how to navigate that. We did talk about being willing to make mistakes, and I AM willing to make mistakes, but not at cost of making things worse for someone. Does that make sense?
Anyway, afterward I was still feeling stressed from the whole grocery thing and from trying to engage during the meeting, and because I was worried about playing well in tonight's show....I was just overall not in a great mood, so I stayed in my room and tried to play some relaxing music and read and other waste-of-time stuff.
In fact, you know what, I'm just going to end this post here and call today a wash.
In about an hour I'll walk to the theater, I'm sure that tonight's show will go fine, and maybe tomorrow I can start fresh and with a better attitude.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday: Laundry in the morning, possible rehearsal with Koz in the afternoon TBA. One evening show.
Saturday: My sister and her family are here to see the show so I'll spend as much time as I can with them. Two shows.
Sunday: Two shows and packing for Boston.
This post covers Wednesday and Thursday.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
WEDNESDAY
I was awake rather early, so went to free hotel breakfast again to steal more peanut butter :P
Breakfast and updating Boston Foodie Finds because I found out that Maruichi, the Japanese grocery that I just visited here in Hartford, has a location in Boston too! I'd really like to go! On a less positive note, it looks like DAR's Boston vacation is happening while Jameson is visiting. Jameson was very much looking forward to meeting DAR, but that will have to wait for another time. Rats.
As planned I had a slow morning, just doing a bit of meal planning and binging several episodes of Beastars and waiting for the temp outside to get above 40°F (4.44°C.) At least it was sunny and clear out!
I ended up walking to Grocery on Broad. It's a small bodega with a portion of their proceeds going toward local job training, with a special focus on people who often have trouble finding work (former convicts, homeless folks, addicts, etc.) Sadly there was not much LOCAL produce or goods, only raw meats, and even though I have an oven I don't want to cook this week. Soooo walked all the way back. But I got some fresh air.
The rest of the day was quiet. I had a little nap and a snack, watched more anime, read my book, and talked with Jameson who was having his first day of PT for his neck/shoulder (the PT will solve nothing but is to convince his insurance to cover surgery, which like every aspect of our "health care" lately is completely idiotic.) It sounds like it went as well as it could. Later in the day I lit one of my Bittersweet Candle Co candles, listened to music, and tried to center myself. I still felt stressed by the time showtime rolled around, though. Not sure why but it's likely because Koz (our supervisor) is coming tomorrow, and my sister's family is coming on Saturday, and overall it kind of feels like Philadelphia all over again with anxiety and feeling like I'm under scrutiny and judgement.
I had a hard time performing the show because of the anxiety + acid reflux/fluttery stomach, but got through it and DAR seemed very pleased with how we played. That's great, I hope we do just as well for Koz tomorrow.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
THURSDAY
I was wide awake at 6:30am and had to force myself back to sleep. This probably means I'm caught up on sleep debt and now I'm swinging back toward restlessness and twitching to Do Things. Breakfast and chatting with my sister about her visit on Saturday/planning to have a meal together. It was significantly warmer today but I had nowhere to be and had walked five miles yesterday, so was inclined to stay at the hotel for most of the day.
I did do an Amazon grocery delivery because I'm already short on protein and there are no viable grocery stores or even convenience stores downtown (food deserts/apartheid are the WORST.) And ONCE AGAIN they screwed up: they delivered to the wrong address (I literally JUST had an Amazon order disappear in Orlando as well.) This is the picture the delivery driver sent:
One of the hotel staff recognized the floor and was able to guess where it might have ended up, but by the time I had walked all the way there and found the random corner of the freaking public transit plaza where the bag had been dropped off, someone had not surprisingly stolen it.
Fuming, I walked back and placed an identical order again, this time writing "HOTEL NAME!!!!!" all caps AND I wrote the address twice, both in the address bar and in the delivery instructions, AND I switched delivery from "drop off" to "hand off" so that they'd physically have to put it in my hands.
An hour later a delivery driver arrived, smiling, with my order. I took the grocery bag from him, relieved....
....and opened it and saw that half of the items were NOT what I had ordered.
I'm never ordering Amazon/Whole Paycheck delivery again.
Went back to my room and had a frustrated scream and threw an empty cardboard box against the wall a few times. Requested refunds for both orders (for the second one, just for the items that were wrong/missing.) Fumed some more. Then went on with my day.
At 1pm we had an "allieship" meeting, optional, in one of the hotel's conference rooms. It was pretty good but even at 90 minutes it was not long enough for such a complex topic, for this group of people from various walks of life who all have so much to contribute and learn on that topic. The presenters did a great job and I got some new perspective on what it means to be an ally and some actions that can be taken in-the-moment, but on the feedback survey I did say that I wish we could do a more involved course or longer seminar to get a better understanding. Personally the thing I was hoping for was this: I find it difficult to be a good ally when I'm coming from a place of ignorance. I don't have any idea what it's like to be black, or gay, or Muslim, etc etc and all sorts of people whom I would like to be an ally to. And this means if I try to take action or support someone from a place of ignorance, even if well-meant I can cause more harm than good. I wanted to learn more about how to navigate that. We did talk about being willing to make mistakes, and I AM willing to make mistakes, but not at cost of making things worse for someone. Does that make sense?
Anyway, afterward I was still feeling stressed from the whole grocery thing and from trying to engage during the meeting, and because I was worried about playing well in tonight's show....I was just overall not in a great mood, so I stayed in my room and tried to play some relaxing music and read and other waste-of-time stuff.
In fact, you know what, I'm just going to end this post here and call today a wash.
In about an hour I'll walk to the theater, I'm sure that tonight's show will go fine, and maybe tomorrow I can start fresh and with a better attitude.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday: Laundry in the morning, possible rehearsal with Koz in the afternoon TBA. One evening show.
Saturday: My sister and her family are here to see the show so I'll spend as much time as I can with them. Two shows.
Sunday: Two shows and packing for Boston.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-10 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-04-10 03:37 am (UTC)Anyway I’ll be over it by tomorrow but from now on if I want things from Whole Foods I’ll go in person.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-10 12:40 pm (UTC)The allieship meeting sounds useful, but like you said I often find they aren't long enough to really get into the meat of what's a really hard and nuanced topic. Still, I'm happy you went and every little bit helps. I also worry about trying to help and making things worse, it's hard to overcome.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-10 02:48 pm (UTC)Yeah, I wish there had been more to the meeting but at least they're trying. The two things that get in my way are A) trying to help from a place of ignorance and therefore making situations worse for the person I'm trying to help, or B) putting the burden of educating/bringing me out of ignorance onto the person I'm trying to help. I've read some good books on it ("So You Want To Talk About Race," "Me And White Supremacy," etc) but that's not really enough.
They DID have good tips on just basic small things you can do--like body language, "Are you ok?" or "Want me to step in?" sort of gestures that you can make so that you can help IF the person wants you to and without disrupting whatever situation you're in (work meetings, social outings, etc)
no subject
Date: 2026-04-10 03:37 pm (UTC)I think any meeting to discuss these issues is good, even if it doesn't feel like enough it eventually adds up.