(no subject)

[taz_39]

Well. That was unexpected.

I've described how the news was broken to us HERE. Please read it, I'm not in the mood to type it out again here :P


And you can read what the media has to say about it HERE. And HERE and HERE and HERE and all over really.

We all knew that something was going to happen, and that it wasn't going to be good. The main theories had to do with downsizing or being sold off to another company. Turns out it was even worse than that.

(Let's see now if I'm asked to take this photo down. Place your bets!)

The day after (today, Sunday) we had two shows. As I type this we've done one, and it was extremely difficult. I don't know how people are running out onto the floor and performing with big smiles on their faces. It's gotta hurt.

It also hurts that now, of all times, there's this giant audience. Clapping and screaming and cheering. At the moment it feels like being surrounded by a bunch of vultures, or rubberneckers trying to catch a glimpse of the dead bodies in the road. And I'm sure this level of "enthusiasm" will continue to follow us as we die out. People are gross.

Anyway, I didn't want to be dark about this, but it's been less than 24 hours and like most people here I did not get much sleep last night. I'm feeling bitter about a lot of things. I'm worried for my future. I'm sad for all of us. I'm angry at how the news was delivered, how things turned out, all of it.

That said, I can't deny that it's been a privelege to work here. I am so glad that I've kept this blog, and documented every week as thoroughly as possible. It will be a great set of memories to look back on. Not many people can say they lived on a train, danced with clowns, walked with elephants. It was wonderful, and unfortunately, those who come after me will not have the opportunity to experience it. So I will treasure it, knowing that I am one of the last to do so. Wherever I go from here, I will carry five years of circus magic with me. And I can't thank Feld enough for that.

At the moment I feel like there's not a whole lot to say. There were warning signs that something like this might happen, but again, I don't think most suspected a plan to totally do away with Ringling Bros. The band had just started negotiations with Feld and were waiting for our next meeting date to discuss a new contract. Heck, we just hired a new female Ringmaster (who I hope will be compensated for the trouble of quitting all of her jobs for this gig). But despite all the warning signs, I think we were all convinced that none of it meant "The End". After 146 years, really?

But yeah, as any musician will tell you, all gigs must come to an end.

So I suppose next week we are to sit down with people from HR and other departments to figure out any kind of severance, incentive to stay through May, etc. I imagine that most troupes will stay through the end...it's probably beneficial to do that. But the band doesn't have an active contract, so I don't know what we should expect.

Each of us has a lot to do. I have to find a place to live, look for jobs, retrieve my car...all kinds of things. Jameson is busy doing the same, but being the incredible thoughtful boyfriend that he is, he is including me in his job searches and in his plans. What a great guy <3

I will continue writing my blog up until the last day, and I'll maintain it after leaving the circus. I'll do my best to show what it's really like around here. Oh, and now that there's no incentive for me to keep quiet about certain things, here goes:

The Truth About Ringling's Circus Animals and The People Who Train Them:

THE ANIMALS ARE NOT ABUSED. RINGLING'S ANIMAL SPECIALISTS ARE PROFESSIONAL, SKILLED, GOOD HUMAN BEINGS.

Oh, sorry! Were you expecting some scandalous revelation?

My opinion on this will not change despite the fact that I've lost my job. In five years here I have never seen any animal abuse, and no amount of PETA propaganda will convince me otherwise. Just sayin'.

Now we have a show to do, and then another on Monday. Then the job hunt begins.
Tomorrow I'm going to share the post I'd originally written to go up today, before I knew we were all getting canned.
Please enjoy as over the next few weeks I document the final days of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus.

See you down the road.

Comments

Re: I'm so grateful

[taz-39.livejournal.com]

I don't really think that, and I'm really sorry for sounding bitter about it. It may take a while for the bitterness to go away, and I'm sorry for that.

Let me explain a little about why it's hard not to be bitter at this time. When I wrote this, it had been only a few days since the announcement. During that time and every day since, including today, I have been barraged with messages from people whose only concern is whether I can get them into a show for free or at an employee discount. I am also being asked repeatedly to grab Ringling property for people (props, jackets, anything with the logo on it) so that they could either have it themselves or sell it on eBay. This is my everyday life right now. People asking me for things. People trying to profit off of the fact that I will soon no longer have a job.

In addition, there have been people who don't realize that they themselves had a hand in letting animal rights make decisions about the circus for them. These are well-meaning and good people who say things like, "I want to save the circus!" or "I would have protested against animal rights." Well....but they didn't. When the circus needed to be defended in court and in city council meetings, where were these people? Why didn't they vote against banning the circus from their town? Why didn't they write to their council members to say, "I have the right to see the circus if I choose"?

In places like California and New Jersey and many other states and individual cities where anti-circus laws were voted on and passed, laws that literally prevent the circus from exhibiting animals as is their right by US law, it was the activists who showed up to vote on that legislation. The majority of people who might have wanted to see the circus did not show up to vote. Of all the people who have written me heartfelt messages saying that they disagree with what animal rights has done to the circus, while I'm very grateful for their kind words and commiserate with them, it's still a fact that very few of those folks actually translated those sentiments into action.

And that's totally ok, I understand that for most people the priority is to feed your kids and live your life. But just understand that knowing all of this, and getting barraged with "I want" messages constantly, my perspective turns bitter. When I look out into the audience and see that we're suddenly sold out, I am seeing things from the viewpoint of someone who is losing their job largely thanks to public opinion.

I know that the vast majority of people are just wanting to enjoy Ringling one last time. I will NEVER do less than my best, because everyone in that audience, whether they are activists or circus supporters or kids or businessmen or what, ALL of them deserve the very best I can give.

So again, I apologize for my attitude and hope that everyone who comes out to the shows has a great time. My attitude will change, I promise.