taz_39 | Entries tagged with steno

Friday and Saturday were the usual junk: work, eat, steno, sleep.

There is still not enough coverage at work for us to get our work-from-home back. I'm sorely disappointed. But they are still trying to give us one day per week for now. My assigned day, supposing no one calls out pretending to be sick, is Tuesday. I'm grateful to at least get one day.

Jameson is performing at Disney for several nights this week so I generally get the house to myself after 6 or 7pm.
Not like I use the time to do anything special. I prep things for work, practice steno, and go to bed.
I'm also practicing trombone a little because I was asked to fill in on an upcoming benefit concert.

I haven't played a single note since before the pandemic started. Probably about two years.

Picking up the trombone made me cringe in anticipation of what I'd sound like. Some noob middle schooler, no doubt.
But actually, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I guess 20 years of calling myself a "professional" outweighs a few years of pretending the trombone doesn't exist. It does make me feel sad to play, though, and somewhat emotional. This was something that I used to love, and now I avoid it as much as possible. I poured so much of my heart and soul into performing. And no one gave a shit. I was never good enough, or I never put out enough, take your pick, but either way that dream died on the vine.

Well, it died with the circus. Because apparently I'm some sort of evil animal abuser by association.
Never mind that I worked and lived with those animals for FIVE YEARS. People who've never even been to a circus saw a 3-minute edited youtube video and now they're all The Experts. Ok, wait, stop, I've got to stop right there or I'll be seething for the rest of this post.

This week is the anniversary of the circus closing. And clearly that wound is not healed and I doubt it ever will be.

Anyway, I played the trombone for a few minutes each night, and I've practiced more steno than usual this week but still not enough to meet the minimum standards set by my school. I just am not understanding how people are getting ten hours of non-class steno practice each week, especially since the program we're using only accounts for time spent typing IN the program, not editing the transcript or adding to the dictionary or anything. For each hour I put in about 30 minutes are counted toward my total, and it's incredibly demoralizing.

Maybe I'm just not dedicated enough. Or maybe I've learned from my years as a musician that locking myself in a practice room for hours is just not all that helpful.

Honestly it's been stressing me out all week. This was my first serious, dedicated attempt at reaching the weekly goal, and I barely got five hours, much less ten. And that's just with my normal weekday stuff...no cooking, baking, gardening, or outings. Just work, eating, steno, sleeping. I just don't get it. And I'm NOT going to spend my days off practicing 10 hours of steno each day in order to get five hours "that count" to meet the goal. F*ck RIGHT off with that thought.

I didn't get to practice steno on Saturday night because my sister called and it's been months since we've talked. We're both visiting our parents in June, and she wanted to plan things out a little bit. I'm driving up, she'll have to fly. She's bringing her kids, of course, so we're trying to figure out where they'll stay and how they'll get around. It was great to catch up with her :)

After that I cut up the tomato from my garden. It looked great.

I toasted a ciabatta and spread it with pesto, then layered it with the tomato, fresh mozzarella, basil from my garden, and balsamic vinegar (too lazy to make the thickened syrupy version). Caprese sandwiches are SO GOOD. And tomatoes and herbs taste better when you grow them yourself.

On Sunday I woke up feeling stressed, no particular reason. Work was fairly chill, but near the end of the day I noticed a captionist on a long and difficult call, and her audio sounded like she was falling asleep and her quality was dropping. So I popped over to her cubicle to remind her to maintain her captioning voice, and to suggest she take a little break when she reached our minimum call handling requirement (10 minutes). She seemed ok with that, but as soon as I got back to my desk I got a supervisor notification from her, so I went back. She then proceeded to tell me I was "rude" for coaching her, and complained that calls had been non-stop all day long.

I was taken aback, but simply said, it's Mother's Day. Of course there are going to be a lot of calls back to back, people are calling their moms. I glanced at her clock and saw that she was past her ten minutes, so suggested that she take a break. She responded by sarcastically asking if there would be fewer calls when she came back, and went on to bitch about how rude I am again, etc etc. At this point I would have LOVED to have a nice refreshing cat fight, but being obligated to follow the social construct I couldn't do that. So instead I told her that if she wasn't feeling up to captioning today, she could clock out and go home. Would she be penalized for that, she wanted to know? I don't know, I replied, you'd have to ask your actual supervisor.

She turned her back on me and said, "I'm done with this conversation. I have to finish this call."
I said, "Please speak to HR if you have a problem with your work or with me," and left to go file an incident report.
I hope she does talk to HR. Although I also pity HR for having to talk to her, and then probably me, before issuing her a policy violation.
The job is literally captioning phone calls. I don't know what else this chick expects to be doing during her workday.

As icing on the cake, there was yet another "Unionize!" flyer stuck to my car today when I left work.

I think every person working here needs to spend a month employed by Walmart, McDonald's, or any gas station before they even think to complain about sitting in an air conditioned cubicle, getting paid to read and knit and study their schoolwork while captioning calls for the hearing impared. This captionist losing her absolute mind today because she had to actually do her job (which requires almost zero effort on her part) absolutely blows me away. It's really difficult to be empathetic when people whinge about the minimal work that they're asked to do. Fortunately we'll all be replaced by software at some point, and she'll have to go complain somewhere else. Byeeeeeee

Back home I got to see Jameson for a few minutes before he left on another performance. I made myself another caprese (so good!) and immediately did a 90-minute steno session, including two tests. And how much time gets added to my total for the week? 30 minutes.

I give up.

Then I cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed to work off some frustration, then made a grocery list. Jameson came home late, and we tried to sleep. Neither of us has gotten much sleep this week.

Monday felt good because I knew I'd be working from home on Tuesday. It was also extremely slow, a post-Mother's Day lag, I guess. I had all of my work done around noon and resolved to leave early so I could relax a little, eat dinner, and get to steno class on time. Turns out class was cancelled because my teacher had a family emergency (hope she's ok), so in addition to an hour of steno practice I did a load of laundry, watered my plants, researched jobs, and had a look at the music for this gig which someone kindly dropped off to me this afternoon. Jameson returned from rehearsal at some point, and we watched Grey's Anatomy before falling asleep.

Tuesday, work from home! Yay! I got a little extra sleep and got to enjoy my coffee in a mug.
I was also a Bad Person and when there were lulls between calls, practiced steno. I didn't want to use the scripts we're given from class today, just didn't feel like it, so used some short stories from the 1900s instead. That was fun, lots of strange words and poetic descriptions that are unlikely to be useful in a courtroom but at least kept me engaged. Doing little snippets between chunks of work got me one whole hour of practice! I'll have to do that more often.

When work was done I drove to a nearby Greek place for dinner and brought it back to Jameson, and we watched a documentary on Blockbuster Video together. I worked for Blockbuster for a short time, and before that, Family Video. The documentary was informative and nostalgic.

When Jameson left for rehearsal I made us some tuna salad for the week, ran the dishwasher and prepared my breadmaking materials for tomorrow (food scale, bowls, flour, etc). I spent a little time in the garden and was glad I did, because apparently passion fruits have been dropping and I didn't even know! I realized it because I smelled one, they have a very distinctive smell. I followed the scent until I found the little half-purple fruit lying in the weeds, and several more alongside it. Not sure how they will be on the inside, but these are small fruits, about half the size of what I hope will be my main crop, so they should be a good indicator of what to expect from the larger fruits.

I dug up pretty much everything in the large planter as well: two golden beets, a carrot, and the lettuce. The lettuce has brown spots this time and is not edible. The carrot actually looks like a carrot, but it was way too woody to eat. And the beets actually looked pretty good, but I let them go too long and as a result they had split underground. It's too hot for them anyway, I need to follow the Florida gardening calendar more closely. On that note, I may pick up some black-eyed pea seeds this weekend as they're one of like three veggies that will actually grow in the Florida summer heat.

Then it was time for a relaxing shower, a big glass of wine, and researching sourdough starters because the last chapter in my lesson book is all about sourdough. There's still a lot of time before I reach the end of the book, but I know starters take a while to get going so I might try to start one before I get there.

Tomorrow starts the weekend. I have no special plans, other than making a brown sugar spiced oatmeal loaf, putting topsoil around the plants in the pollinator garden, and practicing steno and trombone.

Welp. Here I am MAY the FOURTH. Be with you. I guess.

I'm not a Star Wars "fan", but enjoyed the movies. I even liked the "new" movies, though they get a lot of popular criticism for JarJar and other factors. That doesn't change that there's beautiful cinematography, and an OK storyline. And an absolutely bangin' soundtrack, which is actually what I love about the series.

Anyway, I woke up earlier than usual on a day that I wouldn't normally have off, all to get my second covid shot.
I had prepared to the best of my ability: did all of my weekly chores, stocked some bland foods in case I have nausea again, planned to only cook dinner tonight and none of the other nights, and warned my steno teacher that I may not be there Wednesday night if I start experiencing symptoms. Last time it hit me in the middle of the night on Wednesday, but this time I'm getting the shot several hours earlier and also, who can predict what one's body will do? It could lay me out today instead of Thursday (which would actually be more convenient). We'll just have to wait and see.

But in the meantime I had a nice breakfast and felt nervous for a bit, and then got dressed and drove 30 minutes to the clinic.
It was a lot more chaotic than when I got the first shot, but still, fairly organized and everyone was polite and helpful. The poor nurse trying to administer my shot couldn't get my account to pull up for some reason and had to enlist help, which increased my anxiety a great deal (I have a strong fight-or-flight response to shots and waiting/allowing time for psyching myself out does NOT help) but I tried to think about her struggles instead of my fear, and of my sister who has had multiple surgeries, and my other sister who has had two children. I can at least take one shot. Even if I have a panic attack, even if I pass out, those are both only temporary reactions that will come and go, nothing life-threatening and no reason not to get vaccinated. Such is what I tell myself as I'm sitting there sweating and trying not to freak out.

Finally she got my stuff figured out and gave me the shot. I was relieved and sat quietly for the 15 minutes, then shot right out the door because the clock was now ticking for when symptoms would begin. And might I add, I'm very pleased that this is the second shot I've gotten in a row without getting faint or having a panic attack. Awesome! Take that, stupid brain!

I stopped at Target on the way home for a refill of the VERY effective shower spray that lookfar introduced me to, then went straight home where I immediately got to work on this week's bread: Kindergarten Honey Wheat!

This can be made as loaves or as rolls, I decided to try rolls in order to practice separating dough and shaping it.
The reason the author calls it "kindergarten" bread is because this is the dough she gave her kindergarten class to play with and then bake. If a bunch of snotty little kids can make it, so can I, right?

Right! I was very pleased with how these turned out. The dough was a 50/50 AP flour/wheat flour split, with a beautiful egg wash. The rolls came out soft and light (as light as red wheat flour gets anyway) and slightly sweet, downright delicious. I couldn't help but think about my first attempt at wheat bread by comparison; it was edible, but it was a BRICK. Looking at these rolls, I can see that I've learned a lot, and that was very satisfying.

As the dough for those was rising and proofing and all of that, I scooted out into the garden in the 93 degree heat to rescue my milkweed. I've had this potted milkweed out there for like two weeks, and it's dying because it's drying out in the pots. We've had very little rain and a lot of my plants are suffering. I had bought topsoil to try and fight off erosion, but feeling tired and not ready to move mountains of soil I decided to just get the milkweed in the ground for now and worry about laying down the new dirt later. Everyone got planted and watered.

I harvested our first large tomato, it looks really nice!

I want to make caprese sandwiches with it because the basil is finally starting to come up too. Man, what is it about basil that looks just so FRESH and GOOD.

My dill "tree" on the other hand, is getting ready to bolt (bloom flowers, drop seeds and die). This is the best I've ever gotten dill to grow so I'm sad, but also looking forward to attempting to grow from seed in the fall when it's cooler.

Most everything else is just existing for now, I got a few more jalapenos, the passion fruits aren't ready yet, the strawberries are not producing, the lemon tree is pissed at life and I don't blame it, it's damn hot out.

( Read more... )

Friday: back to work. I woke up dreading the whole day because I was afraid to mess up in training, and I was afraid of what my steno teacher would say to me when I logged in to meet with her after work.

Like with most things in my life, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Training was just fine, I did exactly what I was supposed to do for the most part and had help when I needed it. Everyone has been so helpful, I really like all of the people who work in that department. They're patient and very good at what they do, so I want to try and emulate them very much. Today was probably my last day helping out for a while, and I'm glad it went well.

During my lunch break I went outside to take my usual lap around the building. I was texting my sister while walking, and I heard this weird slapping sound. Looking up, I saw a softshell turtle plodding at full speed across the hot parking lot, his little webbed feet slapping the pavement and making the weird sound. It was 90 degrees out, and he would book it for a few feet and then stop to rest, book it and stop, probably hot and possibly in pain from the hot blacktop. I walked over to him and he tucked his head into his shell a little, but when I didn't do anything he actually stuck his head back out and looked me over, pretty bold for a turtle in my experience.

I later learned that this type of turtle is just as aggressive as a snapping turtle, and can also do some damage with its bite. Not having much experience with softshells but knowing they have super long necks, I went around to his back end and picked him up gently on either side of his shell. It felt like slightly sticky leather. Softshell turtles are weird.

When he didn't try to bite or react aggressively, I looked to see where he had been headed. It was obvious he was trying to get to the lake across the lot and across a short strip of grass. So that's where I took him. We walked across the parking lot, and he didn't pee or try to bite or squirm as usually happens when a turtle is picked up, and kept his head out to see what was happening. When we got to the grass he started pedaling his legs and actually stuck his head out even further (DANG they have long necks!) So I didn't take him all the way to the lake, but set him gently on the grass. He sat there for a moment, then headed off toward the lake. It was cool to see this type of turtle up close, and hopefully I helped him to not get run over or overheated on his way to wherever.

After work I went home, had dinner with Jameson, opened my mail and found my glorious new mousepad which I ordered from Etsy.
It's TOTALLY RAD, wouldn't you agree?

Yep, I'm old. And I don't care. VHS was life.

I reluctantly signed on to wait for my teacher, doing some steno practice while I waited. She signed on a few moments later, and after checking my settings and observing me going through my practice routine, made suggestions for how I can avoid some of the technical issues I've been having. She also gave me a new method of practice within our school program that will allow me to log hours across different programs, something that apparently was given out at the start of the semester but since I was a transfer I'd missed out. That alone will make a HUGE difference to my practice time! So often I've wondered how the heck people are getting 10 hours per week when they can "only" use our school program, well because they were NOT only using our school program, they had the ability to log hours elsewhere! Argh!

Well now I have it so that should be helpful.
She didn't even say anything about me needing to practice more. I was so grateful for that. I already criticize myself enough, I don't need any more outside criticism, promise.

Saturday, back to my regular supervisor work. It was a fairly relaxed day, nothing to report.
At home I did some cleaning, figuring if I get my second shot and feel like shit I won't want to be scrubbing a toilet.
I also started soaking some sweet rice overnight, to hopefully make mango sticky rice. It seems easy enough to make.

Sunday, work was pretty chill. Then back home we had Greek takeout, and I made the sticky rice.
Somehow it was oversaturated, I think because I forgot to account for the extra water in the bottom of the steamer? Anyway it turned out more like rice pudding or porridge than traditional sticky rice. It still tasted good, though.

I received two amazon packages, one was a battery which I'm hoping will resurrect my poor bricked GoPro 4 (if not, I guess someone at the thrift shop is getting it) and the other was a "carton" of "egg" stress balls! They look like a shelled egg, whites with yolk, and you can squeeze them and move the yolk around. Stupid? Yes. A cheap way to brighten my day because lately I'm feeling down? Also yes. I gave one to Jameson and he seemed to enjoy it.

Monday, the day seemed to fly at work, probably because I was dreading my covid shot. Not until Tuesday, but why wait to worry, right? Sigh. I got as much of my work completed as possible. I got groceries, did laundry, and went to steno class. After Jameson left for rehearsal I drove out to Lowe's for some topsoil and 10-10-10 fertilizer for my bananas, which are getting bigger and will need double the fertilizer soon. I folded the laundry, got a shower, did dishes, and assembled the equipment and ingredients for this week's bread, "kindergarten honey wheat". I stressed about all the stuff I probably won't get to do this weekend if/when the symptoms from the second shot knock me on my ass (again).

The plan for tomorrow is this. I'll have breakfast and go get the shot ASAP after eating. On the way home I have a few groceries to pick up, then once home I'll start the wheat bread and while that's rising I'll work in the garden. At some point it'll be time to bake the bread and make dinner, then after dinner I'll practice steno.

On Wednesday assuming no side effects yet, I'll finish gardening and also make some pickled jalapenos for my coworker who gave me a jar of her homemade blueberry jam (yum!), then we're on our own for dinner because I'll have steno class. It would be really nice if my symptoms started kicking in BEFORE I went to bed, so I don't wake up in the middle of the night with a full-on panic attack like last time.

Thursday I expect to be a total wreck, so I'm counting it as a lost day.

Wish me luck y'all.

Friday, a pleasant surprise...I'm going to get to work from home two days a week again!!!

Wow, I was not expecting that. But apparently the company had ordered us a bunch of brand new Dell computers, and with the delays in the supply chain the plan to send us back home has been on hold for months. The computers finally arrived while I was out for the weekend. I went to the office to get my computer and find out what days will be my Work From Home (WFH) days. Friday and Monday! Last time it was Friday and Tuesday, which was nice because it felt like a long weekend. But actually WFH on Monday is WAY better because now I will be on time for my Monday steno classes!! Yay!

It's a lot of work to make up the class, so I'm very excited that for three weeks of each month I'll be able to attend. (The fourth week I have to work on-site, that's part of our rotation so that we can all enjoy WFH).

Work itself was fine, nothing to report. I got a rejection letter for one of the internal job openings I applied to, no surprise as it's an HR position and I have zero HR experience.

Back home I ate dinner then checked out my new work-toy. I won't take pictures because my company is suuuuper all about confidentiality, proprietary information, etc etc, so suffice to say it's a Dell All-in-1 with a touchscreen and an external FCC sound card. This is the same equipment that captionists use onsite, which means that if we need to caption from home, we will be able to (not right now but at some point). I'm really glad, this was one function we'd all really wanted last year because sometimes there are outages or we get shorthanded, and the more people can caption the better.

Anyway, when that was set up I did my steno homework and shopped for bras. I HATE shopping for bras online! I've got tiny, limp boobs, and it's not easy to find something comfortable + the right shape for me, even in a physical store much less online. So I pretty much just used Poshmark and Ebay to find bras that I know will fit, and ordered them. Hopefully they don't arrive with sweatstains on them or something. Sigh.

Saturday was pretty slow, it was hot and humid outside, but like an icebox at work. I felt tired and droopy, but did my best.
Got home, checked on the chrysalides, everyone looks fine. There are now four chrysalides in my pollinator garden.
20+ eggs, 12 caterpillars, down to 6 caterpillars, and now 4 chrysalides. I'm sure there are more hiding somewhere, but dang, survivability is poor.

After dinner we had an exciting Actual Social Event, a band with a lot of Jameson's friends in it was playing over at Margaritaville, outdoors, socially distanced. We sat down at a table full of former Disney performers, all fully vaccinated except for me and like one other chick. It felt very "Before-fore Times". And it was nice. I got to hug people. No, I'm not fully vaccinated. But also, no one around me has gotten sick. Ok?

Some idiot at the table was buying WAY too many shots, so we ended up with at least two free drinks which was two more than I'd intended to have. But hey, it felt good in the moment. It was a nice moment of socialization, and pretending things are normal again.

https://instagram.com/p/CN0ygj2H7IL

Sunday, work again. It was a slow day, I was glad because I wanted to wrap up as much as possible before working from home on Monday.
At home we had BBQ from a new place we'd found, it was ok but overpriced so it probably won't be a regular stop for us.
After dinner I quick-pickled the jalapenos from my garden because five of them were ready to use. I added a thinly-sliced carrot as well. Boiled with equal parts vinegar and water, and salt and sugar for a few seconds, then left it to brine and cool with crushed garlic. Should be really nice on eggs or with cold cuts.

Then I cleaned the bathrooms, vacuumed, and did not-enough-steno-practice before getting tired and going to bed.

Monday, my first day of working from home! It was nice to have the extra hour of sleep, and to drink coffee from a mug instead of a lockable thermos. It was nice to be able to go to the bathroom when I needed to, and to break my work into manageable chunks without interruption. Some things did need a litte extra work, like downloading all my spreadsheets and figuring out how they want us to use Zoom now, but overall it was a more relaxing way to work and I'm very grateful for it. Saving four hours of driving, two hours of sleep, and a thimble of sanity. Worth it.

During breaks I checked on my chrysalides (no change) and spent time with Jameson, who was doing classwork in the bedroom. After work we had pizza, then I had steno class while Jameson relaxed, then he had some theatre meetings while I relaxed. Then we rejoined again for Spring Baking Championship before going to bed.

Tuesday, very stressful. I notice that Tuesdays usually are stressful, no idea why, but it's very annoying.
I can basically assume that we'll "somehow" be shorthanded and I'll have to cover more work than usual.
I can assume that something unusual will happen during the day that will prevent me from completing my usual tasks, so that I feel frustrated and fed up at the end of the day.
And of course, I can assume that whatever-it-is will happen right before my shift ends so that I'll be desperately rushing to finish my tasks and finally leave much later than usual.

Because Tuesday!!

I escaped work nearly 10 minutes late (doesn't seem like a big deal until you try to drive past Disney World at 4:55 instead of 4:45, give it a go if you don't believe me) and stopped at the grocery for dinner ingredients. Back home, said hello to Jameson, ate dinner, checked the chrysalides. There was a big storm in the afternoon and one of them had fallen down.

It didn't seem damaged, so I did what Google said and carefully tied a bit of string to the torn caterpillar silk, then re-hung it in the enclosure with a safety pin. Lookin' good.

While poking around in there I noticed that one chrysalis is darkening, and the wings are starting to form. Very cool to see!

The four chrysalides in my pollinator garden all seem fine too. The one who pupated on the fence was kind of glowing in the setting sun, looked very pretty.

There you have it, my week.
This weekend I'm baking raising walnut bread per my breaducation, and might crack into the apple butter I made over Christmas to enjoy on top. I've also got to put all of the milkweed into the garden, the pool deck is getting cluttered with all my potted plants. And I'm making steak for dinner on Thursday, and steno class in on Wednesday night, and somewhere in there I hope to finally attempt to make macarons.

I didn't have time for much this week as Jameson's dad was visiting.
I mean, I did all the usual stuff, but less gardening or cleaning in order not to disrupt, I don't know, the vibe?

He stayed in our guest bedroom, which I hope was comfortable. Neither of us has slept in there and I often wonder what the noise from the street is like. The bed is definitely nice though. When Jameson has gigs I will usually splat in there on the cozy bed and watch anime. Currently I'm enjoying "Slime Isekai", second season. Reincarnation animes are popular right now, and at anything popular I'm required to roll my eyes, but this one has depth and quality storybuilding mixed in, so it can stay.

Usually I do my steno classes in the spare bedroom, so this week I was pushed to our bedroom, which wasn't a problem at all. My computer sits on a music stand and the steno machine stands on its own, so all I needed was a chair and I was good to go.

About steno school. I continued to practice for at least an hour every evening this week.
Last week I managed to pass two tests, a Jury Charge and a Q&A.
I needed one more of each of these, plus two Literaries, to pass out of the 80wpm class.

On Friday I was discouraged by getting a 79 on a test (remember that although a 79 is traditionally "passing", it's not a pass in stenography. We need at least a 95% accuracy at 80wpm to pass any test.)

On Saturday I wanted to try again, but thought I'd start with some literary warm-ups at 60wpm since literary is pretty hard.
I accidentally selected a 60wpm lit TEST instead of an exercise though, whoops. I casually got a 99% and moved on to other things.
Probably about 30 minutes later, my brain actually turned on. With a burst of excitement, I remembered that because literaries are harder, we only need to take the *60wpm* tests to qualify!! So I had inadvertently passed a needed test!

I quickly went and took another, scoring a 98. Sweet!
On Monday, I was determined to pass my other two. I started with the Q&A, and it took two tries but I finally got a 98!
And after two tries on the Jury Charge, I got a 96!!

I emailed my teacher right away, and around 10:30 at night she sent this back:

I did it!!! Yay!!!
So now I will be in the 100wpm class. I'm excited and horrified.
At 80wpm I feel like I'm running faster than my feet can go, about to fall on my face. I do a lot of "cheating", that is if the test is speeding along and I'm about to fall behind or drop content I type something phonetically similar to what I *should* be typing. For example I had one test that used the word "Commonwealth" a lot, which is typed in two strokes: KPHOPB / W*ELT.
"KPHOPB" is fairly easy to stroke, "W*ELT" is not, and the test is rocketing along. So to prevent dropped content, I type just "KPHOPB". The word "common" comes out alone, but thanks to context I know what was supposed to be there, and can correct it while creating my final transcript.

It's actually OK to do this for the most part. If you're not a realtime court reporter, i.e. providing captions that are to display instantly to people in the courtroom, what comes out hardly matters as long as you can read your own notes and correct them before making the final transcripts that the lawyers pay for. This is how briefs came about too: instead of having to type out "beyond a reasonable doubt", you just stroke "KWR-RD" which is phonetically Y-RD, and the phrase "beyond a reasonable doubt" comes out for you.

So I could make a brief for "Commonwealth", maybe something like K-LT. But then of course I'd have to remember it during a test.

Anyway, I'm amazed to have passed and excited and apprehensive about the 100wpm stuff. Wish me luck.

While Jameson's dad was here we did some activities every night, mostly introducing him to VR games.
I mean look, here he is playing Beat Saber. How cute is that??

https://instagram.com/p/CMqVIFSDKy5

He left on Monday morning. Hopefully he'll be able to stay with us again soon. Other people too!

Work was hellacious this week, we have a new monitor scoring system and while it's really not that difficult to grasp, a lot of the new rules don't apply to our older captioning mode, and a lot of captionists forget to "unlearn" the new rules when switching from one mode to the other. This has resulted in some frustration and some uncomfortable conversations with people who have been doing their jobs well for years, and now suddenly need to relearn things.

Tuesday was especially bad for me, Murphy's Law was in full effect.
First thing in the morning I stopped to get gas and none of the pumps would accept my credit card, and only 15 minutes later after switching to a different card and having it decline did I realize my card wasn't the problem, it was something wrong with the pumps. So already, late for work just because I needed gas.

Got to work and so many people had called absent that there was far more work to be done than could be done, and in addition there were unusual meetings related to the new scoring, and various things cropping up throughout the day to basically prevent me from being productive whatsoever. On Sunday someone had been assigned part of my workload, and I discovered that they hadn't done any of it when my boss messaged me to ask about it. So, double workload for me. And then literally 10 minutes before my end of shift, Quality Control called because one of my captionists was underperforming. ARGH!! I mean QC is just doing their job, and my captionist needed a talking to, but why do these things have to happen RIGHT when I'm leaving?? I was so angry I almost cried.

Ended up staying 15 minutes late to complete everything, which probably doesn't sound like a lot. But when you have to drive through tourist traffic in Orlando at rush hour, a 15 minute delay equates to a 30 minute delay if you don't pass certain theme parks by a certain time. Anyone who has lived in a major city will know what I mean. For me, I gotta be past "I-drive" before 5pm or I'm f*cked, it's an automatic extra 15 minutes to get home.

Anyway, I got home eventually and enjoyed a quiet evening while Jameson was at a gig. Had a big ol' glass of wine, much needed.

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I didn't feel so great this week. Not sure what the problem was, but every once in a while I just get like this.
Headache all day, super tired, not nauseous but mild gut upset. I think it's when my stress level reaches a certain point, and my body kind of cracks and lets some out.

It could also be steno. I practice steno much like I used to practice the trombone: with WAY too much tension. Sometimes I catch myself holding my breath. I also am trying so intently to hear every word and concentrate on translating it into the shorthand strokes that my eyes are squeezed very tightly shut.

Yeah, gee, wonder why I've got a headache. -_-

BUT! I passed not one, but TWO tests at 80 words per minute!! Finally!!
I couldn't believe it when it happened.

Great! Now I need to pass five more at that speed to move up to the 100 class. Lol.

But seriously, it did help a lot to at least break that barrier. I know it can be done, even if it takes someone like me years to get there.
It also says something that I was the first person in my class to pass an 80wpm test, even though I came into the class several weeks late.

Work was fine, I made a bunch of dumb mistakes probably because I wasn't feeling great.
Three more flowers bloomed on the passion vine, and I found two more tendrils covered in buds, so I'd say this plant is really taking off this year. Unlike the rest of my garden, which seems very unmotivated by comparison.

Some of you may remember that last year I had a resident spider who was hanging around my large planter for about a month.
It was an orb weaver, and she made these beautiful designs in her web. She was also very large and incredible to look at up close.

Well this past weekend, I noticed that every time I went to the right side of my planter I'd find my face covered in spider web. I'm talking I got within two feet of it and was dead-stopped by a huge-ass web in my face. This usually happened at night while I was trying to look for armyworms.

Today I finally got to meet the artist: this amazing orchard spider!

It's a type of orb weaver, although I don't think this kind makes actual orbs.
But her web is GORGEOUS. First of all, its more than a foot across in any direction, plus the extended lines she puts out to hold it in place which run probably a yard or more from my hanging strawberry plant to the planter. If you imagine a large dinner plate or serving platter hanging in midair, that's what it's like.

Second, just look at all the colors in the web! There was a slight breeze and the sun was setting, and the effect was very beautiful.

https://instagram.com/p/CMap2BrgZq_

There are tons of spiders on our pool patio, most of them are tiny and annoying and we sweep them up with a web buster and take them outside. But when you encounter a spider like this...well, how could I possibly destroy her beautiful web? Or make her leave?

She can stay and catch whatever comes in, and enjoy some peace.

By the end of the week I was definitely ready for a break, but there was none to be had.
Jameson's dad is visiting us for a few days, and while it'll be nice to host him it means my weekend will be spent cleaning like a maniac.

So on Wednesday I woke up and had breakfast, enjoying my coffee via an auto-starting drip coffeemaker that Jameson's dad sent after finding out we don't own a coffeepot. Of course I had already bought one for him myself as they're only $20. Go figure! I'll just take mine back, and keep the one he sent for use when guests stay over. Whenever that is.

Then I started on this week's bread, which was supposed to be a ficelle.
Ficelle is like a baguette, but skinnier.
I followed the directions exactly, and got this:

This is not a baguette. I was very disappointed, especially in the fact that it hardly rose at all.
In fact in texture and appearance, it very much resembled the focaccia I made two weeks ago, only in strips instead of a rectangle.
Since ficelle is supposed to be baguette-like, I have no idea why Bread Baking for Beginners would call for 1/4 cup of olive oil for this recipe!

After spending most of my day percolating over this perceived failure, I did some research and discovered that there were things in this recipe that really prevented a ficelle outcome. For one thing, the olive oil. For another, the lack of a couche.
A couche is a special linen cloth that helps a baguette keep it's cylindrical shape.
Without a couche, the dough spreads. I mean, if you tried to make white sandwich bread without a pan, the same thing would happen.

So I decided to try again, using a half-recipe to avoid waste. I made the exact same dough, but this time I used just a little olive oil while shaping the dough. I made a crappy DIY couche using some balled up tin foil and some tape. The results were much, much closer to what I'd expect a ficelle to be. Very glad that I tried again.

I can picture putting bruschetta on this.

Here are my first batch (right) and second batch (left). The first batch is a focaccia, change my mind.

The rest of my day was spent cleaning. Vacuuming, scrubbing toilets, wiping countertops, hiding things in closets. I moved all of my steno stuff out of the spare bedroom and into our bedroom, so I guess that's where I'm practicing this week. I also deep-cleaned the spare bathroom and took all of my things out of there so Jameson's dad can have it all to himself. We're still in a pandemic, folks.

I didn't quite get to dusting, but that's ok, I got everything else done that I wanted to do.

For dinner I made a simple honey soy glazed salmon with blanched asparagus and wild rice. The glaze caramelized very nicely, we enjoyed it.

As the sun was setting I saw a gulf fritillary out by the passion vine so decided to have a look. I suppose she is looking for a place to lay her eggs. While I was out there I pollinated three more flowers.

https://instagram.com/p/CMic7JKHnh3

Some of the flowers are already bearing fruit! How exciting!

I love how new passionfruit looks. The thin line down the middle and the taut appearance of the fruit reminds me of the stomach of a puppy, or perhaps a baby squirrel, with the milk line down the center of their tummy. Maybe that's a weird thing to say, but anyone who has fed a small baby animal, like a mouse or squirrel, will know what I'm talking about.

On Thursday after breakfast I finished cleaning, mostly just ensuring that the spare bedroom and bathroom are ready to go for Jameson's dad. We had planned to have pizza and air-fried wings for dinner, and I bought all the usual stuff for that, but it occurred to me that Jameson's dad is on keto so I should have bought more wings. I did a Publix run and while there decided why not grab the ingredients for granola too.

Back home I made the granola (bonus: it always makes the house smell FANTASTIC) and packed my lunch for the next day.
My favorite granola recipe is from Cookie + Kate, but it's designed to be chewy. Sometimes I want crunchy, and I ALWAYS want big chunks! After much experimentation I've figured out how to achieve what I want.

Number one: replace 1/4 of the old fashioned oats with quick oats. It helps with binding.
Number two: cook at a much lower temperature for a longer time. Cookie + Kate's recipe is 350 for 20 minutes, I do 275 for 50 and then leave it in the oven to dry overnight.
Number three: do not mix or disturb the granola at all while baking. Press it into the pan and that's it, leave it alone for the full bake.
Number four: soak your dried fruits in water and a little bourbon/rum for 30 minutes before adding to your granola mix. This way you can add the dried fruit along with all the other ingredients, instead of in the middle of the bake where you'd have to stir them in and disrupt your clumps.

That's it! Perfect crunchy, clumpy granola using your favorite recipe. Try it!

Anyway, about the time that was finished Jameson's dad showed up and we got caught up while he was in a meeting.
When we were all three free, we enjoyed some Flipper's pizza and air-fried wings.
When steno class was about to start and I realized I wouldn't have time to finish cleaning up, I asked if one of the guys would put the wings away for me. I literally had them already sitting on a big piece of foil, all anyone had to do was fold the foil closed once the wings were cooled, take two steps toward the fridge, open the door, and put the wings inside.
They both nodded. Sure, we can do that!

Did they do it? Nope!
Is anyone surprised? Nope!
What is it with men??

To be fair, Jameson is the one who ordered the pizza. And his dad did offer to help clean up while I was out there doing it.
But c'mon! Now the wings were sitting at room temps for two hours.

This is what I get for not having children.
And this is why I never ask for help.

Well first the exciting news.

On February 21st around 1:30pm California time, my sister Kayle had a beautiful baby boy!!
He is my new nephew, and his name is Drexel.

Isn't he cute?? I mean, all babies look little and pink. But this one's my nephew so, cute.

Giving birth is mind-boggling. I can't believe she's done it twice now.
I hope everyone stays healthy and happy. My parents were able to be there in person for the birth, although they likely won't be able to hold the baby or anything. Eventually I'm sure they'll get to. I'm very happy for everyone and sad that I couldn't be there too.

My younger sister is due in June for her first baby, also a boy. I'm really hoping to at least be in the area for that birth, and to be a source of support or whatever is needed.

As for my life, it's still boring. No cute babies here, just one very depressed adult and one very lost adult trapped in covid purgatory like everyone else.

Jameson has started rehearsals for a musical with Encore, a local group of entertainers associated with Disney who like to put on their own shows. He doesn't have a lot of confidence right now, but I'm really hoping that getting out of the house, socializing, and getting to express himself a bit will bring him some joy.

My spring garden is established and the last few plants are trickling in.
I thought it would be fun to list all of the plants that I have currently. There are between 30-40 plants in total, although around a third of those are just veggies that will be eaten and another quarter or so are just meant to be incorporated into nature, used by pollinators and more or less ignored by me. Here we go...

Veggies and herbs that I am growing from seed this year include

radishes

carrots

beets

lettuce

chives

basil

Veggies and herbs that I have planted as seedlings, and/or have kept from last year, include

"better boy" tomato

jalapeno

dill

strawberry

Meyer lemon

mint

thyme

Plants that were planted beyond our property line for the pollinators include

milkweed

pentas

bulbine

blue daze

pipevine

passiflora

cranberry hibiscus

Plants that are decorative indoors or outdoors include

vanilla orchid

venus flytrap

butterwort

sundew

trumpet pitchers

snake plant

philodendrons

the Rick and Morty Chia Pet that Jameson got me

Finally, plants that are 100% new this year:

java banana

black sapote

roselle

finger lime

possibly morning glories

That's 33 different types of plant, some of which have duplicates (there are pretty much two of each seeded vegetable and I've no idea how many milkweed are out there at this point). Of all of the plants, if I were to, say, relocate, I would take about fifteen of them with me, either the whole plants or cuttings. So, really, it's not that many plants.

Right?

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This week was pretty nice because it was short.

As has become my habit around the middle of the month, I took an extra day off. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Mine, all mine! MUAHAHA.

Literally nothing of interest happened at work whatsoever.
Sarah, my captionist whose husband died of cancer, is moving to New Hampshire to get a fresh start.
She has friends there who have offered to let her stay with them until she becomes grounded again.
What amazing people!

I helped by shuttling Sarah up to CapTel to return her work-from-home equipment. I'd return it myself but I'm not allowed, liability blah blah, which is understandable. But she doesn't have a car and she lives about an hour away, like me. It was only an extra 20 minutes out of my day to swing by and help her out.

It felt weird, though, to watch her walk away to catch a bus after dropping her stuff off. She's a good person going through too much, and I wish we could have been true friends. See you down the road, Sarah.

On the way to and from work this week, I picked up gardening equipment. Perlite, vermiculite, and lightweight potting soil since my goal this year is to get actual carrots and I sense they're not growing well partly due to compacted soil. 6-4-6 fertilizer for my Meyer lemon. 8-10-10 fertilizer for a SUPER SECRET plant I'm getting so DON'T TELL MY BOYFRIEND.

I finally got a haircut because I couldn't stand my ratty hair any more. I went to a chain place, but was surprised at what a good job they did. So here is a selfie. I'm trying to be more open to pictures of myself, but it's hard. I hate how I look. Sometimes, though, someone cuts your hair nicely and makes you look like you could belong to human society. And when that happens you should acknowledge it.

( Read more... )

A lot of the stress of the previous week was removed.

I got my tuition back. I got the money for the bass trombone. I at least got started at the new steno school.
I am still behind on a lot of things there, but I'm trying to be more patient. There was no reason to expect that I'd be able to pick up exactly where I left with the previous school. I've got to learn the new software, and get used to everything before I can launch into the actual materials. Case Catalyst is a very involved software, so I can't just dive in and figure it out as I go (trust me I did try and messed up a lot of things in the process.)

Meanwhile at work things were pretty chill this week. No more Training shadowing, so I felt a lot more relaxed just doing the tasks I'm used to.
On Friday night the second Tokyo Treat box arrived from Raven. This stuff is so much fun! We tried a pickled plum fruit strip and it was yucky! But most of the other stuff in the box looks to be "normal" flavors haha. Excited to try it all :)

On Saturday Jameson got a new PC monitor, and a desk from IKEA where he can start doing some PC gaming.
He usually plays Xbox, but there are lots of PC games both vintage and new that we both love. I'm excited to see what his new setup will be like.

With my tuition money back in my bank account, it's tempting to do a little shopping ;) But I've got to remember that the money is still for tuition, it'll just be paid out more slowly. Still, my birthday is in a few weeks so I got myself a few things: some cheap sweaters and camis at walmart, and some cherry bourbon flavored coffee that's been popping up on my facebook ads for some time. I also commissioned some handmade butter paddles from a high school classmate of mine who's an excellent woodworker. And I bought a new face mask from a friend who is selling them to pay for her dog's surgery.

Well...I may have spent too much already. But I definitely don't regret the butter paddles, or the face mask. Even the cheap sweaters. The fancy coffee, I probably should have done without.

I'm also trying to use some gift cards that are about to expire (from two Christmases ago, good lord!), one for igourmet and the other for ASOS. I split the igourmet one with Jameson, he got a bunch of bloody mary mixes and other tasty-looking drink mixes (a little surprising to me as he doesn't normally do mixed drinks), and I got some venison sausages and anellini pasta because I want to make a copycat Spaghetti O's recipe. We've tried one of the bloody mary mixes and it was pretty good, nice and peppery.

The ASOS gift card was given to me specifically so I could buy a leather jacket, so that's what I used it for. ASOS is a shop where things rotate in and out, so I have been looking for a jacket, it's just that even with the gift card I often found the prices were too high so I never committed. Right now was apparently the right time though, because they were having an 80% off clearance sale! I chose this jacket, and I hope it fits.

On Saturday night I chatted a bit with a coworker, a woman who had been on my team as a captionist up until recently.
Her husband had cancer and had been fighting it for the entire time that she was on my team, so I saw how she struggled and fought alongside him for all of 2020. As things got worse, she had to change her schedule to nights so that she could be his caretaker during the day. A few weeks ago, after an incredible struggle, he passed away.

For those who don't know, my mom died of pancreatic cancer back in 2001.
I was too young to be her caretaker, but I saw her suffering, and I know the specific pain of loss that comes with cancer.
So watching my coworker's struggles brought out a lot of emotions, and a lot of empathy for her.
I don't know much about her, but I know that she always worked extremely hard, and was a pleasant person pretty much all the time.
So after her husband passed, I sent a message just letting her know that, even though we don't know each other, I wanted to be there. Not in like a "I'm here but don't actually ask anything of me" way. I meant for real. As in, I can't imagine the horrors she went through while caring for her husband, or the pain she's in right now. But I know the pain that I felt when my mom died, and I know it's similar to what she's feeling now. So if she wanted to talk, or scream, or cry, or just be distracted, I can understand all of that and be there for any of that.

Maybe that's a weird offer to a complete stranger. But she's only lived here in the US for six years, and she did everything with her husband and didn't make many other friends (which I can relate to, outside of Jameson I've got basically no one close). So I thought, what does it hurt to really, actually be there for someone who needs it?

We made plans to grab a meal at a First Watch near her (masked, distanced, seated outdoors) on the coming Wednesday. I hope a little social time will help ease her anxiety and distract her for a little while.

The rest of my work week was ok...we had a service outage on Tuesday, but at least it didn't last all day. These outages are getting really old.
Steno class didn't go great, but that's because I'm behind and my teachers have their classes to worry about, they don't have time to be integrating someone who came in halfway through. I mean, they have to integrate me, they just haven't gotten to it yet, and that came full circle in Tuesday's steno class. I probably also need to speak up more about what I need, but frankly after the last school I'm intimidated about asking for anything.

On Wednesday I got up earlier than I wanted to because I realized that I could do my jalapeno project before meeting with Sarah.
I wanted to make "cowboy candy", i.e. candied jalapenos!
These are the last of my jalapenos, and I wanted to save them. I'd thought about drying them and powdering them for spice, but not having a smoker I don't think I could do them justice. Plus candying them sounded intriguing to me.

I boiled and simmered them with sugar, vinegar, turmeric, garlic, and cayenne, then carefully water canned them.
They need to set for a few weeks before we can try them.

After cleaning up I drove to St Cloud to pick up Sarah. We drove to First Watch, both wearing masks in the car. At the restaurant we asked to be seated outside. We were as safe as we could be. We both ordered fancy drinks (non-alcoholic), mine was "purple haze", peaflower tea with lemon, mint, and lavender. Hers was some kind of mango turmeric beet concoction. They were delicious!

The food was great too. We talked about lots of things, some fun stuff and some personal stuff. It was a beautiful day, and we reflected on how our loved ones who have gone before us, too soon, would have wanted us to enjoy the moment. With covid and everything I'm not sure when either of us will get to go out again, but this was a brief and beautiful taste of noralcy. I savored it, and I think she did too.

Back home I took a little rest, then started on dinner. I made shrimp and grits!
I used a pretty standard recipe and made a few small changes: instead of just water for the grits I used half chicken broth, to add flavor. Instead of yellow cheddar I used white, to preserve the pale color of the grits. In addition to the salt and pepper and herbs called for in the recipe, I added some low-sodium Old Bay. With a little sprinkling of tabasco sauce to finish it off, the results were downright awesome.

Shrimp and grits are so easy to make! Don't know why I haven't made them before. Wait, yes I do. They're really bad for you! Lol.

After we had eaten dinner and watched some Fargo, I worked on making the pizza dough for Thursday's dinner.
I wasn't happy with the pizza I made the previous week and wanted to try again. This time I'm doing an overnight rise, hoping that will improve the texture of the dough. It *looked* ok when I went to bed...in the morning it looked like a slime monster! Huge bubbles, and it had risen to the top of the bowl. Well...whatever. I left it alone and we'll see how it develops.

Meanwhile I enjoyed a nice slow breakfast, which is the closest thing I get to "relaxing" any more. I took the hedge clippers outside and attacked a muscadine grapevine that has been sneaking to our side of the property, and also trimmed back my cranberry hibiscus and milkweed. Hopefully they will grow back well. I was surprised to see the parsley (that I had thrown out after it tried to take over my planter) thriving in the sand, as well as a little of the thyme I had thrown out after pronouncing it "dead". If it's happy out there, more power to it. The passion vine is putting out a lot of new growth. The vanilla looks upset but there's nothing I can do for it outside of watering. The lemon tree is already starting to put out flowers again.

I'll probably replant in a few weeks. It's a long growing season in Florida so there's plenty of time.

Back in the house I did my meal prep and a little birthday shopping for my siblings, birthdays upcoming in February and March.
We went for a walk and it was nice, sunny but a little chilly at 60-something degrees.
When we got home I started on dinner, first making the wings in the air fryer and then checking out the pizza dough situation.
It was really bubbly, but I punched it down and it actually stretched out really well, a lot better than the last attempt.
It still wasn't quite how I wanted it, but it was definitely an improvement. And this recipe made two dough balls, so next time I can just focus on stretching the dough and work on getting that right.

After dinner I had steno class, that was nice. It's a good feeling to look forward to steno classes now instead of dreading them. And ironic, because at the last school my class was only an hour long once a week, and at this school its two hours twice a week. Anyway, it went well, and hopefully it'll continue to go well.

This coming week is the same as the last. We're all trapped in this covid Groundhog's Day loop.
Work, sleep, work, eat, cook, post to the 'gram, blog about my repetitive week.
I'm sorry there's nothing to share but my stupid pizzas, and my stupid life.

This was a pretty crazy week.

At work, I had training in the Training department. It went ok, although I was nervous and made a few mistakes. Pretty sure that's expected though, no one seemed put out. I appreciate the patience that people have with walking me through things. I think that once I have my own class to train, and get through the first one, things will go a lot smoother. It's just something that is easier done than discussed or observed, you know? But the discussion and observation are still definitely helpful and necessary.

We also got an email about whether we're still interested in working from home, this time with a company-provided computer. YESYESYESYESYESYES, PLEASE YES. It would help my sanity so much to have an hour or two of extra sleep, and two fewer hours fighting traffic. God I hope we can start working from home again soon. And I hope I didn't screw myself out of it by accepting the hybrid role, because Training is on-site only. Argh.

Then there's the whole steno class thing, which I've detailed in other posts this week.
I find it funny that once again all this craziness occurs on a week where I happen to have taken an extra day off.
My car accident in 2019 was also over a week where I had used PTO. Same with other unexpected life events, somehow they tend to fall on weeks where I've unknowingly gifted myself the extra time to deal with it. Weird.

Anyway, I woke up on Wednesday super super grateful to have a three day weekend after a crazy week of training and sudden school transfers. My meeting with my school's advisory department was at 1pm; before that, I had breakfast and cleaned up a little around the house, and tried to relax.

The meeting went well, I guess. I basically restated everything that I had put into the email, with the added note that my teacher had not shown up to class on Monday and it also looked like she had faked a class cancellation email (but the timestamp gave that away). I was told that I can get my full tuition payment back, which is great, that's pretty much all I care about. I just want to get out of here and move on with my life.

After that I had lunch and drove out to Underwood music to pick up my bass trombone. Hopefully now I'll be able to sell it to help afford a steno machine.

Back home I decided to try making bread again. It did not go well.
I tried measuring by weight instead of volume, and while I did get a better rise out of the bread it was very dense and kind of weirdly textured, like gummy or something.
I tried the same recipe one more time but did the entire thing by hand, no stand mixer, and this loaf was even worse, dense and even more flat than my first attempt.

Having tried three times now, making changes to the same recipe, I decided to look elsewhere for instruction.
No doubt the recipe I have is good, but there are all these changes I'm having to make. For one thing it was a recipe for two loaves, so I've had to half it (the author says this is ok to do). Then I had to convert the measurements from volume to weight, and I'm not sure how accurate that was. Finally they were using a different kind of yeast, so I had to reference a second recipe to see how to use the kind of yeast I actually have. Oh, and I've been using the wrong size loaf pan and the wrong type of wheat flour/too much wheat flour. Who knew there were different kinds of wheat flour??

I went to bed disappointed after all that effort, having thrown away every loaf I'd made, but determined to try again in the morning.
The next morning I picked a recipe from Jenny Can Cook. Her recipe uses milk and an egg instead of vital wheat gluten and water, and only utilizes the mixer for about two minutes, the rest of the kneading is done by hand. I made a quick trip to Walmart for a smaller pan as well. I read the recipe, measured the ingredients obsessively, and watched the video, making sure I did everything exactly as shown.

And finally, I got bread.

It's a little bit crumbly, but frankly it's way better than previous attempts and I'm happy with it. Now that I have a recipe that works, I can work on tweaking it (or just keep the recipe, it's pretty tasty!). It'll be good for me to practice making my own bread, and probably healthier than storebought too.

Throughout the day I got a lot of awkward emails from my teacher asking for information to complete my transfer. I tried to provide what she was asking for while reiterating that the advisory department wanted me to wait a week to allow them time to "rectify things". I probably won't wait the week, but I do want to at least talk to someone from the other school first.

For dinner I made cheeseburger fusilli, a recipe from The Dude Diet that is pretty much an adult version of Hamburger Helper. It calls for lean ground beef, loads of spinach, and whole wheat fusilli. It's one of our favorites and it's very easy to make.

On Friday I was grateful for the extra day, but there wasn't much relaxing to be had.
I've only got one meyer lemon left and it needs to be used before it goes bad, so I made some lemon ricotta pancakes with blueberry compote, frying up some scrapple on the side for Jameson. You whip the egg whites and fold them into the batter to make the pancakes light and fluffy. They were so good, I think I'll whip the egg whites for every type of pancake I make from now on!

After that I had my meeting with my transfer school.
It went pretty well. The teacher seemed nice, and got me all set up with access to the classes and forums and whatnot. It seems like an actual school, something I haven't experienced for a while. And while I'm glad to be transferring into a learning experience and out of a whole lot of unnecessary drama, this also means that I'll really have to start working, and will have less time for, say, food experiments :/ But, that's life. I'd better do my best.

The rest of the day was taken up with chores and work prep: laundry, meal prep, cleaning up the mess I made in the kitchen, and filling out withdrawal and transfer paperwork for the schools.
In the afternoon we went for a walk, which must be the first exercise I've had in like a month. I'm absolutely amazed that I haven't gained weight this year. I would like to thank my genetics, and my obsessive nature when it comes to calorie counting. I have this one pair of pants, which are my "fat pants", and my rule is that if I don't fit in them I need to lose weight. I bought them while on the circus; they're black dress slacks with absolutely ZERO stretch, not even in the waist, and they're a size four. So any time I get critical of myself, or start worrying about my weight or appearance, I put those on. I put them on today, and they still easily fit. So I need to STFU and be grateful.

Anyway, after the walk I got started on dinner prep while Jameson worked on our most recent puzzle, currently covering the entire dining room table. Dinner tonight was coconut curry meatballs over jasmine rice with naan on the side. It was ok, but I like the red chicken curry recipe we default to a lot better.

After dinner I spent some time exploring my new school's website and all the different folders. There's a lot I'll have to learn, but at least finding everything is straightforward. I finally bit the bullet and bought the student version of Case Catalyst, which is a popular steno software that will be needed once I'm certified. It's several hundred dollars, so, ouch. I'm currently waiting for the installation code to show up in my email...it makes me nervous that it hasn't shown up yet (it's been an hour) but a lot of this software is created/owned by literally one dude somewhere, so he probably has to check his email before he sends it or something. It ain't Microsoft, is what I'm saying.

Tomorrow my lovely three-day weekend ends, and I go back to work, but only for four days.
I really hope I'll get to work from home again, and am going to offer that I can switch my days off in order to be more available for the training department, if it will mean I can get two days from home.

Hope you all had a lovely week.

I'm gonna make my usual blog post on Friday instead of Thursday because I've got an extra day off this week. Just so you know!

A quick update on my steno school situation:

After spending my Monday 1/4 class time trying to figure out why my steno test content is not visible to my teachers, and still not coming up with a solution, I asked for a make-up class on Saturday 1/9. Tech support says I need to update my software, which I did, then they said the teachers need to update their software, which they didn't. But that still doesn't explain why I'm the only student whose test results aren't visible.

Personally, I suspect the apostrophe. This will probably sound crazy to people who don't have non-text symbols in their names, but having an apostrophe or other such character in your name can really mess things up for you. In undergrad, my apostrophe crashed the school's entire financial aid system for a day because they had two accounts for me, one with the apostrophe and one without, and opening them both at the same time created an error that wrecked the system.

But anyway, I conveyed all of this to my teachers and tried to move on with a make-up class. So from Monday 1/4 to Saturday 1/9, no solution has been found for my tests not going through. Oh well, I guess I won't submit any work??

The Saturday class was scheduled for 11am. I emailed my teacher twice requesting that time and asking her to let me know if it wasn't ok. Two hours before the class she emailed asking if I had requested noon. I responded with, no, I requested 11am, 11AM EST. If that doesn't work for you, please let me know. She emailed back, "It's fine!" so I thought nothing of it.

So I sat around until almost quarter after 11 before my teacher sent the zoom link. When we were finally in the class and about 10 minutes in, my teacher's phone rang and she interrupted the class to go take a delivery that she had been expecting. When she came back she said, "This is why I was hoping our class was at noon". I almost hung up.

Anyway, got through the class and right before hanging up, my teacher said, "See you on Monday!"
This makes sense because my classes are usually on Mondays. And Monday was in two days. Please note that she didn't say "See you next Monday!" or "See you on [specific date]", just "See you on Monday". From this I construed "Monday" to mean "this Monday" or "Monday January 11".

So I show up at our usual class time on Monday night, 8:15pm. No link from my teacher. Not surprising, she often sends the link late.
I waited and waited. After 15 minutes I emailed her asking if something had come up. Not unusual, I've had to do that before too.
I waited another 15 minutes, then began writing a letter to my school's advisory department, pretty much detailing all of these experiences starting from my teacher's outburst before Christmas and up to my present experience of wasting an hour of my time waiting for an absent teacher.

By the time I finished there was still no response or explanation of her absence. So I sent the email.

The next morning at 8:19 am (timestamped), I got an email from my teacher saying, "I sent you an email saying class was cancelled!". This was closely followed by an email timestamped 8:39am 1/12, but worded as though it had been sent the previous evening (i.e. "Hey, I have a conference call tonight and can't make our class", and yes that's what it actually said). It was NOT a forwarded email, such as you might see if she had sent the email the night before and resent it for me to see. And there were no other timestamps besides 1/12, 8:39am. I even checked the code.

So that's it you guys. I'm sooooo done. This is such juvenile, unprofessional bullshit. I cannot BELIEVE that she actually took the time to fake an email and send it the day after. I cannot believe that this teacher yelled at me for not doing evaluations and tests, but then when I do actually do them and she can't see them it's nowhere near a priority to get that fixed so I can advance in the class. Half of the shit that has happened in the past month with this school make me think I must be losing my mind, or that maybe I'm misinterpreting events. But, truly, that's not the case. This is actually happening. I've got a teacher who doesn't show up to class and then forges next-day emails as a sad effort to cover her ass.

The advisory department received my email, and I have a meeting with them today at 1pm. I could care less about all of this drama; all I want is to get a refund of the tuition I just paid for this semester, and to get out. This whole thing has already been a huge mistake, and staying here would be an even bigger one. This had better be a short meeting.

I just wanted to insert a quick post to explain why I didn't post on Thursday.

This week my work schedule was altered because I've started a new role as a hybrid supervisor-trainer. This means that I'll still do my normal supervisor duties on the call floor, but if the training department needs help I can pop over there and give presentations or go through materials with the training classes.

I've had fun doing the new software training classes, so applied for this position thinking it would be a good fit. So far the training has been going well, but jumping back and forth between my supervisor and training duties is going to take some getting used to. It involves switching mental gears pretty quickly, and by the time I get home every night I've been pretty tired and just struggling to do the bare minimum prep for the next day of work. So on Thursday I was just too tired to finish my blog, and pushed it to Saturday (today) instead. So you can look for that post later tonight.

The other issue I'm dealing with is my stenography school. I just paid my tuition out-of-pocket, around $1800. Ouch. Before the Christmas holiday, I might have mentioned that my steno teacher chewed me out for not doing the Evaluations and Tests portions of the steno software I'd been introduced to. She said I should be grateful that the school pays thousands of dollars for its students to use the software, and that I needed to stop everything I was doing (including the class we were in) and go take a bunch of evals and tests RIGHT NOW. In a panic, I did, and then messaged the other steno teacher in the course for a video chat because I was also extremely angry. I knew that I was absolutely caught up on my work with the school, and I average a 97 in the course. The other teacher was able to confirm that no assignments were due, and that I could complete the evaluations and tests at my own pace.

My steno teacher sort-of apologized, so although I still felt resentment I chalked it up to a bad day for her and just decided to move on. This was BEFORE I paid my $1800 tuition, and I had in fact looked up alternate schools to transfer to, that's how angry this made me.

So NOW, after the holidays have ended, my teachers have returned to school and are reviewing my coursework. Come to find out that NONE of the tests I've taken are gradeable because the teachers are not receiving the text portion of my tests. Steno tests are only good for when you take them, you can't send materials in later, they're a sampling of your speed and accuracy in the moment so sending materials later defeats the point of the test. Anyway, we contacted tech support and it turns out that the reason they can't see my tests is either:
A) They have not updated their steno software, or
B) Because I have an apostrophe in my last name and my school profile and the software profile are not agreeing on the inclusion of the apostrophe (I know it sounds wild, but this has actually happened to me MANY times before).

Either way, it is NOT something that I'm doing wrong, which was the impression I was given up until tech support got back to us.
To sum it up, I am about fed up with this school. I'm sure my teachers are good people and all, but I have now lost a months' worth of tests because of a software update and/or mismatched accounts. I've been yelled at for doing absolutely nothing wrong, and although that was just a one-time event it rankles, and I dread seeing my teacher because what if she flies off the handle again? Or what if I actually do make a mistake, what kind of reaction will I get then?

It seems to me that all of the stress is not worth it. So, I have steno class today in about 30 minutes. I will see what my teachers have to say to me. And then on Monday I'm going to reach out to the advisory department and see about getting my tuition refunded (it's too late to do a full refund I think but even half would be better than nothing). Then I'm going to see about transferring to another school.

It's a shame, and it's going to be a pain in the butt. But I have at least another year of speedbuilding if not more ahead of me, and I just can't. I can't go through it wondering if my work will go through properly this time. I can't dread every single class wondering if tonight's the night I get belittled again as though I'm a failing student. Maybe that means I'm petty or an emotional snowflake or whatever, well, I guess I am then. I spent my childhood getting bullied and belittled by adults, and as an adult I see no reason to continue to tolerate it, most especially when I've done absolutely nothing wrong. It's just. Not. Worth it. It IS worth the trouble to transfer if it puts me in a positive learning space.

Anyway, this turned into a long post but that's why I haven't posted this week, and I do plan to post tonight about other more cheerful things.

Thanks for listening.

Wow, what an insane week.

Made insane mostly by my own insistence on baking a zillion cookies.

Last week was all the non-cookie items, such as apple butter, toffee, caramel, and hibiscus tea.

This week I made several of the cookie doughs in advance, and every day when I got home from work I'd eat a quick dinner and then bake cookies all night until about 9-10pm. Needless to say I was exhausted, but everything turned out really nice. I hope people will like them.

First I made gingersnaps.
Pros: Easy, roll it into a ball and flatten it and bake for 15 minutes.
Cons: The recipe makes almost 100 cookies, which meant a lot of time.
How'd they turn out: Tasty. I would have liked them crispier, and also spicier, but they're still very good.

Next came chocolate shortbread dipped in white chocolate and peppermint extract. These ended up being my favorite, the texture is so light and cake-like and freaking delicious. I'm so glad I decided to add the chocolate mint coating on one side, it really balances the cookies out as they're not very sweet.
Pros: Easy to make.
Cons: The recipe only makes 12 cookies so I had to quadruple it and even then it was barely enough.
How'd they turn out: Really good! I want to make these again. Stronger peppermint flavor next time.

Near the end of the week I tackled the Santa face cookies. These are ones that my mom used to make with us when we were little, so it's a lot of nostalgia and fond memories every time I make them. Using wheat flour for these was a mistake, they came out dry and dense and reminded me of a bran muffin haha. Oh well, they're still edible. Notes for next time.
Pros: Tasty twist on a basic sugar cookie (lemon zest)
Cons: Takes F-O-R-E-V-E-R to decorate
How'd they turn out: Weirdly bran muffin-esque but still tasty.

Last came the cream cheese Christmas wreaths. These are another fond memory for my siblings and I. Mom made these sometimes with a pastry bag, and sometimes with a spritz cookie gun. These were also a cookie that she would sell to a local upscale restaurant at Christmastime, so I have fond memories of doing prep for her, chopping the green candied cherries. And of course these are very delicate cookies, so we loved getting to eat the broken ones ;)

Pros: Very simple dough, addictively tasty cookies!
Cons: Can be very difficult working with cookie dough in a pastry bag
How'd they turn out: Really good, just like I remember them. Someday I need to have the patience to add more decoration becaues the candied cherries and teaberries do add a nice flavor to the rich cream cheese.

As the cookies cooled I packaged them as best I could for shipping, mostly putting them back-to-back and wrapping them tightly in plastic wrap before setting them in cookie tins among decorative shredded paper. I tied each jar of granola with a bow, and put a tag on each can of apple butter, and wrapped them in newspaper. The caramels and toffee went in their own wax paper bags and then into a plastic sandwich bag with a silica packet to help preserve them. All topped off with an ingredients list I printed off. Oh, the tea got its own plastic baggie too.

Packing everything up for shipping was a pain in the ass. FedEx was out of boxes nearly everywhere I went, but eventually I used my little walnut and realized that my best bet would be the FedEx on a college campus. Who DOESN'T send out gifts at Christmas? College kids, that's who. And behold, I went there and the store was empty of people and full of boxes. Score.

But once I had everything ready to go, I realized I hadn't bought nearly enough packing material. This realization came at 9:30pm on Sunday night. I felt pretty exasperated. But you know what? Jameson jumped right up off the couch, and 20 minutes later came home with about five newspapers! My boyfriend saved Christmas!!

I packed each box carefully and slapped a shipping label on each one. The next morning I got up a little earlier than usual to take all eight boxes to a Walgreens for FedEx pick up. It was shockingly easy to drop them off and send the tracking info to each recipient on my list. Walking out of the Walgreens, I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders. I did it! I made cookies to share with the people I love <3 Not everyone unfortunately, I'm only one person, not a cookie factory. But I did my best, and it was more than I usually do for the holidays.

To be honest, I'm really pleased to have learned so many new techniques. I've never made shortbread before, or caramels good enough to share, or toffee, or my own tea, or apple butter. I learned to bake and temper and caramelize and can food. It was a lot of work, and at times it was frustrating and exhausting, but I'm glad I did it. It was fun, and I learned a lot.

There were a few other stressy things to worry about this week.
One was an interview at work. It's not for a promotion or anything, but kind of a sideways move to allow me to spend time in a different department. The Training department is short-staffed and could use some help, so they wanted a "hybrid", a supervisor (my current job) who could dip into the training department when asked and take over training new captionists so that members of the actual training team can have a day off or leave early or whatnot.

I like to learn new things and I've had fun being a short-term trainer for our new captioning software, so figured why not apply. The interview went well. I found out the very next day that I'd gotten the position! The Training supervisor said she really appreciated some of my answers, which made me feel good. I was given a big ol' binder full of information, which I'll review in coming days.

Now on to Stressor Number Three. Steno class.
Last week I had a little tiff with my steno teacher. She got angry when she found out I hadn't completed work in a particular section of the software we're using. Like, literally angry. In all fairness, she probably did tell me to work on that section, and either I misheard her or misunderstood or forgot. It happens sometimes, especially if I'm tired and don't write down a reminder right away.

Anyway, still, there was no reason to yell or get angry. I spoke with another teacher in the same program who confirmed that I had not missed any work, I have nothing due, and I am not behind. So I spent this week making cookies instead of practicing steno. BUT, I still had steno class on Monday.

I was worried it would be awkward or she'd be angry again. In fact I was so worried about it that I looked into possible transfer schools. Not to be petty, but I am not going to pay thousands of dollars to get talked down to any time I make a mistake (especially one that does not affect my GPA or the school's funding). There's just no reason for it. In general, if I'm given clear instruction, I will do the task or I will communicate if I'm unable to complete the task for any reason. I'm nearly 40 years old for Christsakes, I did my time with belittling angry teachers in high school.

Class was ok. My teacher seemed a lot more calm. Great. I got through the class and was very relieved. I don't have to transfer yet (I will keep my list of schools. Not playing.) Now that the cookies are done I can get back to practicing steno. Imagine that! And no one died! Sheesh.

So by the time Tuesday rolled around I felt exhausted but relieved that all of that was behind me. Time for a new week. The week before Christmas.

I woke up late on Wednesday. I was very tired.
Had a nice breakfast and checked on my little plants. The meyer lemons are basically ready. I'll keep them on the tree because I've read they'll keep there, but probably in the new year we're going to have lemon meringue pie! Here is a collage I made of how the lemons have grown over the course of the year, starting in mid-February and going up through today :)

For some reason my strawberries have started producing again, which is unexpected to me but maybe normal in Florida, idk.
I have a beautiful head of romaine lettuce right now, it's gonna get eaten soon :P

The carrot's top has gotten huge, it's longer than my arm! But the root below doesn't seem that big. I'll let it go through January but at some point it's gotta get pulled.

The jalapeno and cherry tomato are still producing, so I get a few veg every three days or so. It's kinda nice :) I'm probably going to pickle the jalapenos.

After my garden check I did some cleaning. There's probably flour and little sugar crystals in every crevice in our kitchen right now thanks to all the baking. I vacuumed, cleaned the bathrooms, dusted, and wiped down all the kitches surfaces. And mopped the tile floors. It felt good to get caught up on that. I did laundry, washed our sheets and made the bed, and dropped some cookies off at the neighbors' houses. The rest of my day was pretty chill...I didn't feel like cooking and just kind of wanted to take a break after the madness of last week and the stress of interviewing and fighting my teacher this week. I did a little extra Christmas shopping while Jameson did a virtual work meeting. Near the end of his meeting the doorbell rang. It was a special delivery! An Oculus Quest!!

For those who don't know, the Oculus is a Virtual Reality (VR) gaming system. I'm not much of a gamer, but I have to say VR gaming is a LOT of fun! It's so immersive, and the graphics are so beautiful! I was really impressed. I get motion sick really easily, but because you control where you are looking when playing, it helps a lot. I didn't feel sick at all! Here's Jameson playing Beat Saber, a popular VR game where you slice squares with lightsabers.

https://instagram.com/p/CI37ZG4jPJQ

And here's me playing the same game. We're playing on a beginner level as we were just learning how to use everything.

https://instagram.com/p/CI4KUX-gVzA

After that Jameson downloaded The Room VR for us! You might remember that while we were on tour with the circus, Jameson and I loved to play The Room on our iPads together. If you don't know what it is, look it up...it's an awesome escape room/puzzle game with beautiful graphics and hours of complicated puzzles to figure out. I am thrilled to get to play this game in VR! We only played a little to get used to the controls, but it was SO AWESOME to be IN THE ACTUAL PUZZLE ROOM rather than just swiping on an iPad. I love it!

When we were done playing we ordered gyros for dinner and watched some more Fargo, then I practiced steno while Jameson gamed and watched a Golden Girls parody made by one of his theatre friends.

Thursday I woke up at the usual time, had breakfast, and did some meal prep for the week before going to the dealership for maintenance on my car. It was thankfully less expensive that I expected, so maybe I'll treat myself to an actual haircut before the new year.

It took me a while to get home because of traffic, and because I stopped at several places to look for stocking stuffers. No luck, but I'll try again throughout the week. At home I started putting together dinner while Jameson attended his company Christmas party via Zoom...of course you couldn't really talk to people like you want to, but there were still some nice events and a raffle for some good prizes. He didn't win anything but that's ok! Still fun.

Dinner was shepherd's pie (technically cottage pie, as I used ground beef) with the beef marinated in broth, herbs, and spices before being topped with a little cheese and some garlicky mashed potatoes. Simple but good and filling.

After dinner Jameson played some VR Room while I typed this up and prepped for work tomorrow.
I wrapped some of his presents and put them under the tree. And I accidentally opened a present from my sister, can't talk about it yet because she may have gotten the same thing for my other siblings.

I'm hoping this next week will be pretty chill. I have a new role at work but hopefully that will be more fun than stressful. And now that the cookies are sent the only thing I have to worry about is sending out virtual gifts on Christmas day, and filling Jameson's stocking. Oh, and figuring out Christmas breakfast and dinner! I want to make cinnamon buns (have never made any type of bread from scratch) and for dinner, there's this pepper-encrusted roast that Jameson usually makes that is fantastic.

Mostly looking forward to having less to stress about *knocks on wood*

This week was insanely more stressful than I had anticipated.

I knew it was going to be a rough week. The shipping deadline for Christmas is December 15th, so I planned to do all of my baking this week, especially on my days off. I'm trying loads of techniques I've never tried before, and a lot of time-consuming packaging and cookie decorating and gathering supplies and ingredients is involved.

What I didn't anticipate was going to steno class on Monday and finding out I've apparently been doing things wrong for weeks.
And having my teacher fly off the handle, telling me that I NEED to complete a bunch of evaluations NOW.

I had actually planned to slack off on steno this week due to all the Christmas prep. So of course, go figure, this would be the week that I'm expected to do way more than usual.

That said, a deadline wasn't given, except that I have a test on Monday. So, I'm meeting with another teacher in the steno department to find out EXACTLY what I have to do, from someone who will hopefully not start yelling at me because I forgot what to do and/or didn't understand what to do. I'll be the first to say I'm not very smart, and I often miss things that are obvious or straightforward to other people. Sometimes I need things explained in a different way in order to understand. Trust me, I know I'm worthless at lots of things. But I think if there was something so important that I was supposed to do, be it a test or assignments or whatever, all my teacher has to do is tell me in a straightforward clear way: "Do x, y, and z by X date". And I'll do it. That's all there is to it.

Anyway, mostly I was just caught off guard. I thought I was doing well in steno class, and now all of a sudden it's like I'm weeks behind, and right at the busiest time of year. It added a lot of stress to an already stressful week.

I did do some of the steno evaluations, but when the weekend hit I had a tough choice to make.
Either I scrap my baking plans and panic-study steno all weekend, or set the steno aside and make my gift boxes as planned.
After losing a night of sleep giving myself ulcers over this, I decided to stick with my baking.

First of all, I already bought all the ingredients. Second, I have zero backup plan for gifts for everyone. Third, although my teacher was upset that I haven't been doing the work she expected me to be doing at this point, she also didn't give me any deadlines or any specific assignments other than to be prepared for a test on Monday. Plus, if I can get as much done as possible over the weekend, I'll still have three days before my test to study or take evals or whatever. Maybe this is irresponsible of me, but frankly, this is the one thing I wanted to do for my family this year. I won't get to see anyone (like a lot of people) due to covid. It has been a really hard year...even for me, and I have had it LUCKY. Right now, this is more important to me. If it hurts me in the future, or disappoints my teacher, I guess I'll just have to swallow that pill.

Let the food prep commence!

During the week, per my boyfriend's request, I made my mom's "magic window cookies" recipe. We have wheat flour right now due to trying to be healthy, so they're a bit darker than usual and have a nice texture but otherwise taste just the same. I was really happy with how they turned out. I probably won't be sending these to friends and family as they'll probably be stale by the time I'm done making everything. Oh well...more for us to enjoy!

On Monday night I made two big batches of my favorite homemade granola. Lucky me, it clumped nicely. Why won't it do that when I make it for myself?? Lol! I put it in plastic 16oz mason jars and tied cute little plaid bows around the lids.

On Tuesday night I chopped a zillion apples for apple butter. So many apples that I never wanted to see another apple again.
Or so I thought, until they cooked overnight in the crock pot with bourbon, spices, and sugar, turning into a mushy pile of caramelized goodness.

I mashed the apples and let them cook for another hour with the lid off the crock pot to help it reduce down. Meanwhile I prepped a canning bath. I have never canned anything in my life and was very nervous about this, but if I didn't seal the jars they'd have to be refrigerated and then it wouldn't be safe to mail them. Plus people would have to eat it within a few days, that's no fun!

Luckily I have friends who have been canning food for their whole lives, who were willing to walk me through the process.
I won't bore you with the details, just look up "water canning" if you're curious. Suffice to say, all of my little jars got a good seal, so I'll be sending apple butter in my gift boxes. Yay! I was really worried about this so it was a huge relief that everything worked out and the jars sealed properly.

Next, I decided to try making some toffee. Originally I was going to just do caramels, but toffee is SO good and seems a lot easier to make than caramel. I boiled sugar, butter, water, and salt on the stove until it reached 300 degrees, then poured it out into a square pan and let it harden. While it was still warm I melted chocolate chips on top and sprinkled it with pecans. A few hours later it was ready to cut. Wow! I can't believe how well it turned out!

Sadly the caramel did not go so well this time. I tried doing things a little differently per some internet advice, and ended up with a crystallized mess with some burnt bits in it. Although I have a lot of things to make yet, I'm pretty determined to try the caramel again. I will stick to the recipe that I know works, but just up the temperature as my ONLY change.

Anyway, after that frustration it was time to make dinner. I made us taco salad because it's easy and good, and jalapeno poppers because I wanted to use some of the peppers we've gotten from my little garden. They were pretty tasty! Kind of floppy because I had to freeze them, but still yummy.

After dinner I packaged some of my homemade hibiscus tea. There's only enough to give everyone one tea bag, but I doubt anyone's going to be raving over it anyway. It doesn't have a strong flavor, but it looks and smells nice so I figure why not include it. The hibiscus is from my own back yard after all, and I dried most of the other bits myself.

By this point I had literally spent the entire day in the kitchen. I spent the 1-2 hours before bed typing this up and just trying to decompress from any stress that has built up. Failing at the caramel was stressful, thinking about steno was stressful, canning was super stressful. But now I only have to redo the caramel, maybe an extra batch of toffee, and make four different kinds of cookie dough. Yeah, that's all x_X

On Thursday I got up and got going with a purpose, an hour earlier than usual. I would have liked the sleep, I need it, but I can't sleep when there's a huge to-do list. I ate a quick breakfast and went to Dollar Tree for colorful shredded paper (it's really good for packing cookies in tins) and to Target for a few things I forgot and some extra baking stuff like sugar, butter, and cream. Those items were nearly gone on the shelves so apparently I'm not the only one cheaping out on Xmas gifts this year.

Back home I unpacked and started making another batch of toffee. The first batch turned out so good, I figure in case I don't make caramel I may as well have enough toffee to send everyone instead. It came out even better the second time because I was more careful with my temperature regulation (and having hot water on hand to help prevent burning before the sugar hit 300F). While the toffee was setting I got to work prepping my breakfasts, doing a load of laundry, and making the dough for all the cookies I plan to make this week. For some recipes I'm having to double or triple the dough, so it took longer than usual.

A break for lunch, then I continued making dough until around 2pm. At that point I cleaned up the kitchen and assembled the sauce for bourbon chicken tonight, then packaged the toffee for shipping in little wax paper bags sealed with a festive sticker. The oil from the toffee is staining the bags a little but hopefully people will get over it, it's a butter-based candy after all.

At 3pm I had a meeting with other-steno-teacher to discuss what a mess I am and how to fix it (not really, but I'm still irritated about what happened and that's how I feel). After meeting and speaking with this teacher, I'm really bummed I'm not in her class. Mostly because she's SANE. I was easily able to talk with her and tell her what's going on, and ask questions. With my teacher, I get five words into a sentence and she's made an assumption about what I'm going to say, and cuts me off, and I never get to say what I ACTUALLY meant or ask the question I wanted to ask. I don't know if it's a personality clash or what, but regardless I was able to clear things up with the other teacher. Such as, no, I don't actually have like 30 evaluations due this week. Phew. My teacher made it sound like I was missing work! I almost scrapped my Christmas baking plans over nothing!! I'm still pretty angry about this whole thing, but at the end of the day I'm just happy to know what is expected. All y'all have to do is tell me what you need, and I will do it. I wish she would just CHILL.

After that meeting it felt like the big pile of stress I've been carrying around all week was lifted. Well, the steno part was.
Now that I wasn't stressed about whether or not I should be doing steno, I dove right into another attempt at caramels, this time sticking with the recipe that I know and upping the temperature to 257F.

You guys, it worked! The caramels turned out PERFECT. Sweet, a little salty, easy to cut and wrap (well, wrapping was a pain haha but still). I'm so happy that I will be able to share these with my friends and family!

For dinner we had bourbon chicken (didn't taste anything like the mall food court version but was still good) and binge watched some Fargo. I did a little steno but my brain was all tired and I kept making stupid mistakes, so didn't spend a ton of time on it.
Tomorrow I'll take some treats to my coworkers, disguised as a boring old Publix shopping bag. Hopefully no one will throw them out this time.

There's still a ton of work I need to do: making, decorating, and packaging the cookies; buying stocking stuffers and presents; buying shipping materials and printing labels. But I feel like I'm almost there. And once this is all done, I can relax at actual Christmas :) That will be nice. Maybe I will make us some cinnamon rolls, never made them from scratch before.

Looking at this week, although it was very stressful, I am very pleased that I got to make three things I've never made before and learn several new techniques. It's nothing special, lots of people know how to can and make candies and whatnot. But it's new to me, so it's exciting. I'm just hoping these treats will make someone smile this Christmas.

Oy, it was a stressful week.

Work was just...(sigh)
Without email and proper communication channels some things have begun to fall apart a bit. We finally got payroll functionality back, and everyone rushed to start adding and correcting punches, but updates and information and minute-by-minute changes all had to be delivered in person or via hastily-printed directions. As a result there was a lot of confusion, and some work was done incorrectly.

I made soooo many errors. I felt like an idiot when I finally realized I had done things wrong, literally days later.
I was so frustrated that I was almost on the verge of tears. Most of the mistakes can be rectified, but still. This is someone's paycheck. This is a task that I was assigned that *I* completed incorrectly. I (and several others in my office) are literally having to redo our work. I hate, hate, HATE when someone places their trust in me to do a task right, or run an errand or help out, and I fail. HATE IT.

I usually enjoy my job, but clocking out at the end of each day this week was a relief. I am very thankful that I asked for December 1st off using some of my holiday hours. I really, really need just a little time to gather myself. This whole month has felt like I've been hanging on by the seat of my pants. My workplace has dissolved into a weird purgatory with no end in sight...I just want to be able to do my job and not be constantly playing catch-up or nervously waiting for the next set of do's and don't's. Stenography is stressing me out big time...it's starting to sink in that this is a new career I'm working toward, and as such I need to really take it more seriously and invest more money and time in what will be needed to succeed. Not just the money for my classes, but also for software and equipment I'll need after graduation. Not just time spent practicing, but also building my own working steno dictionary and studying medical and courtroom terminology. I haven't done enough, and I need to start doing more.

These things, plus my parents are becoming somewhat anti-maskers and causing a lot of stress for my sisters and I. Then I'm also putting way too much pressure on myself with cleaning and cooking and holiday activities. In every aspect of my life right now, professional and personal and spiritual, I just feel way more stressed than usual, like everything is a rice grain away from falling apart. One extra day off isn't a solution, but it helps. It helps to be able to sit still for a moment, take a deep breath, look at everything that's happening with some level of calm, and proceed with a plan for holding my life together.

I say all this with the realization that compared to others, I have very little to complain about. And I'm sorry to complain, but I'm human, and sometimes I feel overwhelmed.

And so, after a particularly stressful day at work and a stressful hour-long drive home through Orlando holiday traffic (f*cking tourists coming here to spread their germs around and then leave) it was nice to pull into the driveway and see this:

https://instagram.com/p/CIHPPCZg0uv

Jameson decorated our hedges for Christmas! He also put up some bows and a wreath on the door.
I love our little dinosaur! Right now I am calling him Bonk, Guardian of the Hedge. So freaking cute!

Another nice surprise was getting a teaberry plant!
You might remember last week I got some teaberry pasteles to use for Christmas baking, and that teaberry is a big nostalgia flavor for me. It had never occurred to me that teaberry was a naturally-derived flavor! Turns out it's from an evergreen plant, also known as boxberry or checkerberry or wintergreen. Being big into plants, I had to check this out! It was easy to find teaberry plants for sale online, and they're very cheap. So what the hell, I got myself one!

I wasn't at all expecting it to have berries upon arrival, but I guess evergreen berries are not the same as a typical fruit berry. It's a tiny little slow-growing plant and cannot survive in the Florida heat, so I'm going to keep it indoors and let it sit in the sun once in a while. I got the white metal "pot" from the edible arrangement Jameson got for his birthday...he insisted I keep the pot, and now I'm glad he did! The white offsets the dark green leaves and bright red berries so nicely. I feel like somebody's grandma when I say that, but it's true.

Of course I also wanted to try the berries and see what they were like.
They are pretty and small with a cool star-shaped pattern on the bottom.

Cutting one open revealed white flesh and some greenish seeds. The berry is very dry, this isn't some juicy fruit berry.

The smell was wonderful. It smelled minty and sweet and fresh, just like, well, teaberry! I broke a leaf in half and it smelled just the same. Eating the berry, it was dry and kinda grainy and not very flavorful. I think a lot of distillation/fermentation must be required to extract teaberry flavor, which is maybe why the wintergreen flavor we're more familiar with is synthesized, less fruit and more mint.

Another issue is that teaberry contains a compound similar to aspirin, and it's possible to overdose on the extract and essentially poison yourself. I did a LOT of reading up on teaberry before trying one, and it seems that as long as you don't eat tons of the berries (who would?) or leaves you've got nothing to worry about. I would like to try making a tea from the leaves, and maybe even an extract, but for that the plant will need to be at least twice as big. Leaves and berries need to be fresh, as drying them causes the essential oils (where all the flavor is) to evaporate.

Anyway, that was a fun experience and I'm glad to have this cute little plant to enjoy in the house <3

Another nice surprise was this grass-growing pen! A coworker gave it to me after I tried to give him advice on getting one to grow. There's a little capsule on the end with grass seeds inside that will grow after being soaked in water! I'm excited to try it out!

Saturday was an especially rough day at work, because that was the day I found out I'd messed up a whole bunch of my assignments. I came home in a really crummy dejected mood, but once again my spirits were lifted by my little plants. I went outside to check on everyone before it got too dark, and found two cherry tomatoes ready to pick, two jalapenos, a strawberry, and a watermelon radish! I may have pulled the radish a bit too early but any longer and it could become woody and inedible.

My lettuce is looking way better, I should be able to enjoy it in a few days.
I also found some more zebra longwing eggs on my passion vine! There's nothing I can do to protect them from being eaten again, but I'll be rooting for them!

On Monday there was a cold front moving in...finally, I have been waiting for so long for colder weather!
The sky at 6am was beautiful.

My work day was actually pretty chill until the last ten minutes, during which everything seemed to go wrong. Lots of people clocking in all at once, and nowhere to sit because of the covid protocols in place requiring an hour before anyone can sit at a station once it's been used. So I had a big queue of people looking for stations, which I was able to assign but before I could even write down who was sitting where three employees returned to the desk to tell me they couldn't log into their stations. So now not only do I have to find them new stations but no one can use the stations they were just at due to the one-hour rule. ARGH!

I shouldn't have gotten frustrated but I was. Every day is like a game of Red Light Green Light, do's and don'ts that you have to navigate and tiptoe around and impose on yourself and others. I want to be considerate and I think we are all doing our best, but sometimes I am just so TIRED, you know? I guess that's pandemic fatigue. Of course I am still going to do everything that's asked of me, but that doesn't mean I don't feel stressed or tired by the changes and rules piling on all the time, more and more each day.

Then I had steno class on Monday night, where I felt very overwhelmed again by all that I don't know, and frustrated by how slowly I type and how many steno briefs I don't know. Although we went to bed early I had stress dreams about trying to take down steno dictation and accidentally typing on a regular keyboard instead because it comes more naturally to me. In the dream I actually hit the keyboard I was so frustrated.

On Tuesday it was cold out! It felt SO GOOD. Like 50 degrees or so. I put on my dinosaur onesie (judge all you want, it's my damn day off!) and spent a little time outside with my plants, then had a nice breakfast of oatmeal, flax seeds, ripple plant milk, and some of the bourbon caramel apples left over from the turnovers I made for Thanksgiving.

When that was done Jameson and I made plans to go get our Christmas tree! While he had a meeting with a student I moved things around in the living room to accomodate the tree, putting out the tree base and mixing up a jug of pine tree food, digging out the ornaments box. Since it is sunny out I also moved the indoor plants to the front of the house to get a little sun. Yes, that's a Christmas Story leg lamp :D And yes, that's a picture of me holding my niece <3

I had promised myself that Tuesday would be a time to chill, so even though I wanted badly to start doing chores I forced myself to chat with family about Christmas gifts, make my own Christmas list, and do a little online window shopping while waiting for Jameson to finish his work. In the afternoon we went to Lowe's to get our Christmas tree! It ended up being more of a chore than expected because we went at lunchtime and there was no one to man the tree tent outside. We had to run into the Garden Center and later Customer Service to ask someone to page for assistance. After nearly 30 minutes of waiting we finally got our tree and headed home.

I wanted to decorate right away, but the tree needed time to get settled; the branches were stiffly upright from being wrapped in netting for probably days during shipping. So we gave it tree food and let it rest.

The rest of my day was spent doing nothing, as promised, except making wings to go with our pizza for dinner and dusting because I got bored while waiting for the wings to cook. After dinner I practiced steno for two hours, wanting to avoid any stress dreams at bedtime.

I still slept pretty poorly, probably because I was thinking of all the stuff I've got to do on Wednesday.
I got up at the usual time and had breakfast, then ran some errands, sending a package of my teaberry candies to my sister in New York and dropping by Target to use up a gift card. Back home I picked up Jameson and we went to Publix together for groceries, unpacked at home, ate lunch, and got to work on various projects.

Jameson practiced for a while because he was recently asked to be the Musical Director for a production of RENT to take place next year. It's great that some theater companies are being optimistic and making plans. I just hope they can go forward with it.
While he was doing that, I went out again to Michaels to begin the process of gathering stuff for my Christmas baking. I'm still kind of unsure how much of what I'll need, but if I hesitate any longer there'll be no time. So I got little 4oz jars for the apple butter I plan to make, tags to put on various things, treat bags for either the cookies or caramels, a much-needed large cookie sheet, paper gift bags to use for my coworkers, and some plastic food-safe 16oz jars for the granola.

I guess I should have shared what I'm planning to make:

Homemade bourbon apple butter

Homemade granola

Homemade smoked salt caramels

Homemade hibiscus spice tea

Spicy gingersnaps

Chocolate shortbread cookies with white chocolate decoration

Lemon zest Santa face cookies

Cream cheese Christmas wreath cookies

English toffee (if there's time and if I don't lose my absolute mind)

Like with Thanksgiving, I've never made this much stuff before and I'm feeling stressed and intimidated. But I hope that attempting it will give me confidence and make it less stressful for future Christmases.

The thing I'm most worried about is water canning the apple butter. I've never done it before and the last thing I want is to give people botchulism or have a bunch of hot jars explode because I don't know what I'm doing. Argh. I'm sure it will be fine. But will it? Argh.

When I got home Jameson was in the studio playing a new guitar, the acoustic Brian May model that came out this year. It's a beautiful little guitar and has a huge sound for having such a small body.

In the evening I made us turkey-stuffed sweet potato skins with cheddar cheese and avocado. We had leftover pumpkin pie for dessert. Then we decided it was time to decorate our tree. It looks nice. Amazing how decorating a tree can bring such a warm feeling.

To my surprise, Jameson asked if I would make the "magic window cookies" again this year. I hadn't planned on making them because they're rather bland, but they do make good tree ornaments and when he's specifically asked for them I can't say no! So that will be a nice project for this week :)

Thursday I took a moment to appreciate the third day in a row off. Because I'm not going to get another at least until January, maybe not until February.

Prayers of thanks complete, I got up and got to work. Eat breakfast. Make egg bites for the week using the sous vide. Make overnight oats. Separate out some apple turnovers for my coworkers and label each one with directions. Vacuum. Clean the bathrooms. Water and fertilize my tiny garden (it looks like I'll be making jalapeno poppers soon!)

Do a load of laundry. Clean up. To the grocery again because I forgot a zillion things: hard candy (for the window cookies), an orange and ginger (for the spiced tea), bourbon (for the apple butter), cookie boxes, an 8x8 baking dish for caramel, more egg whites, Christmas-themed stickers to hold the goodie bags shut...why is it that making things yourself involves buying so much stuff? Lol.

Back home, put everything away. Eat lunch. Prep meatballs for dinner. Move the indoor plants away from the window. Peel the orange and ginger, put them in the oven to dehydrate. Chop up a cinnamon stick for the tea. Start cooking the meatballs so they have time to simmer in the sauce for an hour or so. Put away laundry. Etc etc.

I needed these days off, but they went by so fast. I dread going to work tomorrow, but only because things are so weird right now. It was weird enough with all of the covid sh*t, now it's even weirder. It'll be a weight off my shoulders when we can just do our jobs again.

I'm going to have a hard time balancing my work and home life this December. But if it means I can bring a little joy to my friends and family, I'm more than willing to be a little stressed. The last ground shipping day is December 15th, and I expect things will take even longer than expected due to covid, so starting next weekend I'll be baking or candymaking every single day. So for now, here is me in a dinosaur onesie. Because life is short and sometimes you've just got to do little things to help yourself out.

I didn't feel good at the start of the week.
No, it's not covid. It's probably the coconut milk in that curry to be honest :p

Or maybe it's stress built up over time. That's a thing.

I still got through my day all right. There are some changes happening at work that seem kind of...unexpected. I can't say anything about it, confidentiality and all, just that the nature of the work is going to be different. I hope it'll still be enjoyable. Nuff said.

Is it weird that I already know what I want to make for dinners over the weekend?
One day blends into another, and even at the start of my work week it feels like time is short.

I woke up on Friday to the news about Trump & wife finally catching the covies.
I'm not a person who can wish a complete stranger dead, and I won't wish that on Trump & fam.
However I think that when you tempt fate, quite often karma is right there to give you a swift kick in the ass.
Posturing and bravado only make one look like a fool in the end.
Death comes for us all. There's no reason to pretend otherwise.

But what do I know.

We'll see what happens. A lot of people seem to think he's faking it, but Trump's administration aside I don't think the hospital would go along with someone faking an illness. And if they do it's time to look at Canadian citizenship.

On Saturday night Jameson and I watched a YouTube video of people making Taiwanese peanut candy. It looked SO GOOD. I felt stupid, I forgot how much Jameson likes peanut brittle (his favorite candy bar is PayDay!)
Not only that, I have seen these candies before! Of course they won't be as fresh and soft as they would be freshly made like in the video, but it's the next best thing. The Asian grocery is on my route home and I knew exactly where to look.

These are for him, but we both tried a piece of the powdered peanut biscuit. It was crunchy but also light and sweet, very very tasty! I had the pleasure of watching my bf's eyes roll back in his head as he took his first bite haha. It's the little things. We can't travel and explore right now, but we can experience new foods and cultures at least. Very grateful for the Asian grocery!

In fact, we had another surprise experiment later in the week. A little less "cultural".
Not sure if y'all have heard, but Brach's has released a "turkey dinner" candy corn.

Yes, EEW. Definitely gross. And yet. The urge to try it was so strong.
En route to and from work I stopped at every Walgreens along the way (Walgreens is the only store carrying it) and was unable to find it. Everywhere I went it was sold out. After checking online I realized that only one Walgreens in Orlando had it in stock, and it was on I-drive, a notoriously touristy area of the city.

Well, whatever! I was there the very next day when they opened the doors at 7am. And they only had two bags left!! Sheesh!
After work I drove home and we cracked them open.

Flavors clockwise from top are: green beans, ginger glazed carrot, stuffing, sweet potato pie, roasted turkey, and cranberry sauce.

Sweet potato pie was the only one that could be called “good”.

The cranberry was the most disappointing, it was like an artificial and overripe raspberry flavor, no tartness at all. Jameson’s favorite Thanksgiving food and he was not impressed

Most accurate award goes to the stuffing, we could not BELIEVE how disgustingly accurate it was! I could taste the gravy!

Runner up for accuracy was ginger carrot, it really did have carrot flavor (you can get freaking stuffing and carrot flavors into a candy corn but not cranberry, really Brach's? Lol!)

The green bean was just odd, we agreed that it tasted neither like green beans nor like anything else we could think of.

And the turkey was by far the most disgusting, it somehow did have a “roasted meat” taste!

Yeah it was mostly gross and weird...but also fun and amusing

That same day I welcomed two new plants into my little "garden".
While checking messages during a short break at work, I saw that someone was having a plant sale not ten minutes from my work!
I used my lunch break to rush over and check it out. They had a lot of exotic plants, most of which I wasn't familiar with. But they also had a nice selection of carnivorous plants, which if you were following me in my circus days you know that I propagated venus flytraps for several years while traveling the country. They died when I moved to Florida, because I underestimated how hot Florida is in the summer.

Anyway, I couldn't resist picking up a beautiful little flytrap with deep red coloring in the "mouths".
And they had sundews as well! Not the Florida-native pink sundew, which I would have loved to have but it's illegal to sell them.
These were some common green type, but still super adorable and must-have. I bought them and raced back to work just in time.

Since it's October these plants will go into dormancy soon, so maybe it was stupid to buy them. But, too bad. It's stupid to buy everything I've bought this week. Life is short y'all.

The rest of my week was fairly normal. I had some leftover mango from the curry I made last week, and some bananas that were just coming ripe, so I bought a can of pineapple and threw them all in the blender. I added a little ginger for warmth and brightness, and a chocolate mint leaf from my garden just for decoration. Tada! Banana mango pineapple popsicles! They're probably my final popsicle creations of the summer.

Here are all the popsicles I've made this year: mint mojito, strawberry watermelon, peaches n' cream, key lime pie, honeydew lemongrass coconut, matcha fudgesicle, and banana mango pineapple. I'm excited to try more flavor experiments next year!

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Seriously you guys.
This f***ing year.

My week was "normal", whatever that is any more.
Despite living in Orlando, I didn't see whole lot of disruption due to the George Floyd protests. I think they mostly took place downtown and were mostly peaceful. That's good. Orlando's government offices are downtown, and that's who needs to be targeted for these demonstrations imo. Not residential neighborhoods, not shopping plazas (although I guess there was some looting over by Millennia Mall, WTH people are finding worth looting over there is beyond me.)

My dad posted something negative on facebook which sparked a whole big family argument, with my sisters and I basically ganging up on him. I stayed pretty well out of it, except to make one comment, that I wish my Dad wouldn't cherry-pick negative events and instead focus on the postive actions taking place during this time. But it was still upsetting to see my family disagreeing publicly like that. I love my dad but he tends to be pretty negative and also refuses to look inward a lot of times. Not to make a blanket statement but, typical Boomer stuff, kind of. Oblivious to his own racism, if that makes sense.

Anyway, in an effort to keep my own blood pressure down I stayed out of it.
I have lots of black/brown/all sorts of shades of friends, and I'd rather focus on making sure they're ok and have what they need, that I'm here for them and the people/organizations that I can actually help. I would also like to work on my own knowledge and understanding, so my sisters and I are going to read some books on race together. That, to me, is positive action I can take.
Raging on social media does nothing for anyone but perpetuate outrage and negativity. That's my view anyway.

Going along with trying to keep my sanity and some calm in all this chaos, I decided not to make posts on anything political/social whatsoever on social media. No one needs to know where I stand. No one needs to hear my Ted Talk about my widdle feelings. All of the internet is in an uproar, everyone is screaming to be heard over each other and the noise is so loud you can't hear anything. I'm just not going to do it.

Instead, I posted all the things I would regularly post. Garden pics. Food pics. Sending little "happy birthday" messages to my friends. Liking their pictures or statements. I just want people to know that when they see a post from me, they can know, without a doubt, that it's not going to be some inflammatory rage post or overshared meme or yet another reshare of violence and hate. I want my friends to know that whaever I post will be something to bring peace, or just a little break from the constant stream of unrest coming from every direction right now. That's all I want to contribute online right now, is a safe space and a little breathing room.

Maybe that's selfish, but hey. We can all post what we like on our pages, right?

So then! Work this week was kind of crazy because we're trying to go back to the old (longer) way of monitoring people. But we also now have to monitor and troubleshoot the people who are in the new beta work from home project. And we have to hop on calls ourselves. And the CapTel headquarters was damaged by flooding in Wisconsin so we've been covering their call load as well. It's kind of...a lot right now. We're all doing the best we can, but I wonder how long this is going to go on, and what changes will result from all the constant shifting responsibilities at work.

At home, the pollinator garden is starting to attract some new insects!
This is mostly because the milkweed has finally bloomed!

I managed to film two different species of butterfly enjoying my milkweed: a pipevine swallowtail, and a queen butterfly.
Both male. "My milkweed brings all the boys to the yard", lol!

https://instagram.com/p/CA81ImhArSa

https://instagram.com/p/CA_GYcNAT6l

My other plants are doing really well too. The little watermelon seed I planted just a month ago is now longer than my arm. It was starting to latch onto the mint plant, and I was kinda concerned about how long it might get (I'm reading up to 12ft?! Sh*t), so I went out and got some chicken wire and jerry-rigged a trellis for it. I'll train it to basically loop around the trellis as many times as it needs to as it grows. Maybe this will help keep it off the mint and mystery sprouts.

On Wednesday the watermelon had both male and female flowers blooming! I made sure to pollinate them right away. Hopefully it takes.

( Read more... )

Welcome to Covid April. Lol.

My week was much the same, going to and from work, kind of wincing when I realized I needed gas even though I took every precaution possible (holding dispenser and pushing buttons w/paper towels, hand sanitizing right after).

The call volume at work seems to be going down a bit but not enough for supervisors to return to regular tasks yet.
I'm trying to appreciate what I'm doing now as I enjoy the captioning parts.

On Tuesday I got a tip off on a Walmart that possibly has some toilet paper in stock.
I'm no hoarder, but Jameson and I are down to TWO rolls, so I think it's justified for me to want to buy some.

Isn't it weird to feel guilty about wanting to buy toilet paper? Or go to the grocery store, or get gas?

I used to go to the grocery kind of randomly throughout the week, whenever something ran out. There's one right next to my work so it was easy to just pop in and grab a yogurt for the next day, or a quick lunch if I was feeling too lazy to pack mine.
But now I am strictly, STRICTLY limiting grocery stops to once per week, and then always to the same exact store to reduce my footprint and anything I might be unknowingly spreading around.

I don't have gloves or a mask, so I've been using a produce bag over my hand to pick up fruits and veggies, and in general just trying not to touch anything unless I'm buying.
I build these elaborate grocery lists that reflect each aisle, what order I'll visit them, so that I leave the smallest possible footprint in the store.
I feel guilty when someone is wearing gloves and a mask and I'm not.

IDK about you guys, but my grocery shopping brings up a lot of worries like:
- Am I doing enough?
- What if I need something at another store?
- Am I far enough away from everyone?
- How can I change the way I'm breathing to reduce putting droplets in the air?
- Are people judging me for not having a mask/gloves?
- Do I need to wipe down all of these groceries when I get home, plus surfaces they touch?
- How can I protect the cashier? She's like two feet away from me...

All of these things and more, I'm sure many of you feel the same.
It's a strange new world. I'm glad so many people are considerate. I feel like an ass with the new CDC face covering recommendations and not having a mask, but I do have one on the way over from a friend. She made them herself! One is for Jameson and one is for me. Bet you can guess which I'll be wearing :D

So to sum up my grocery guilt, on Wednesday I decided to visit TWO stores, and not only that neither of them was my "designated grocery" for social distancing purposes. I've been going to a Publix down the road. On Wednesday I went to a Walgreens and a Target.

The Walgreens was for printer ink and also one of Jameson's favorite Easter candies.
I'm kind of using Easter as my whole excuse for breaking my grocery vows.
The Target was also more or less for Easter candy selection, but also I had tried to prepare a cart for pickup so I wouldn't have to go through the whole store breathing on stuff and touching stuff. When I realized that this was going to be impossible because of all the refrigerated items I was getting, I decided to just go. If there's an outbreak there I'm gonna feel guilty.

Anyway, so much has changed.
I walked in the doors and was immediately addressed by an employee standing 6ft away wearing a mask and gloves.
Another employee was nearby with mask and gloves, wiping down carts.
Employee 1 pointed out a "sanitized" cart for me to take, I said thanks and took it, again feeling like an ass for having no mask/gloves and putting my dirty mitts on the clean cart.
In the produce section employees were restocking, every single one wearing a mask and gloves.
At one point someone's phone rang and he scooted away from the produce, stripped off his gloves to answer the call, and when it was over got himself a new pair of gloves and continued stocking. I thought this was incredibly thoughtful.

Shopping took a very long time, mostly because I had to get a lot of produce for the recipe and because social distancing means waiting while others get what they need and move on. I think I was in the store for over an hour. In various departments I noticed signage limiting what customers could have (4 cans of soup, 4 loaves of bread, 2 fresh chicken meats, 1 toilet paper item, etc). I also saw Target employees watching certain sections like the milk/eggs area, and learned that they were there to make sure people are social distancing and also to wipe down the refrigerated section door handles.

Oh yeah, toilet paper! I passed by the tp aisle and glanced in, already resigned to seeing empty shelves. But surprise! It was FULL of toilet paper! I stood and gaped for a moment, then picked up a 9-pack for Jameson and I. And felt guilty doing it, even though I'm doing nothing wrong and that's the size we normally buy. As I turned to leave I had the pleasure of seeing an older couple enter the aisle and come to an astounded, wide-eyed halt.

"WOW!! Toilet paper! It's really here!"
"We've looked all over Florida!"

And they both started laughing giddily as they picked up a pack.
What a weird freaking world we are in.
But I was glad for them.

So I got my groceries and went home.
This week was the first time I felt like I actually was able to get all that I needed, including toilet paper.
There are still some things missing on the shelves, like Clorox wipes or whatever, but in general I felt that supplies are coming back around.

Back home I cooked up some chicken for chicken salad for lunches.
In the afternoon we went for a walk around the neighborhood, talking and looking at peoples' yards and stuff.
When we came back I cooked us some chicken meatballs in coconut curry, one of our favorite easy summer dinners. Yum!

I had steno class at night, it went OK but not great. I've been struggling with learning numbers as there are several ways of typing them out and learning them all is kinda blowing my mind. But my teacher says that's ok so I've got to believe her.

On Thursday I enjoyed a lazy day, goofing off on the computer and eating snacks.
I did a little gardening although there's not much to be done right now, just harvested some cherry tomatoes and basil.
In anticipation of having these ingredients I also bought mozzarella balls and made little caprese bites!

My passion fruit only flowered about a week ago, and the fruits are already very big! I'm super impressed.

As I was poking around I noticed something yellow off in the distance, over the property fence. I climbed over to have a look and found a lovely little cactus in bloom and a bee inside enjoying himself <3 How cute!!

https://instagram.com/p/B-w_EpFAa5k

Later in the day I had a nice video chat with my family. It's amazing to see how much Elliotte has grown! She's walking now too! Crazy. Overall it's great to see everyone, even though we're far away :)

During our little chat the doorbell rang! It was one of Jameson's friends, she's opened her own baking company!
Get a load of this logo!!

The treats are DELICIOUS. Huge big cookies and lovely lemon cupcakes. Definitely check them out! Quarantine Dessert Company!

The rest of our night was pretty uneventful. I did laundry and prepped for work, Jameson played Animal Crossing and raked the yard.
Sunday is Easter and honestly I'm looking forward to the day off!

In closing, here is Jameson after working his cute butt off in the yard!

Let's see. My garden is doing well. The red flowers are sort of dying off, but I've been told they'll come back over time.
The lobelias seem very happy, probably because it's been cloudy for most of the week.

My tomato plant has more flowers, and one tiny tomato! I didn't get a pic of it because I didn't see it until later. It's seriously the size of a tic tac, lol. But still! I'm happy to get even one tomato! There seems to be another opportunity for a strawberry too, although I don't really know how to pollinate those.

The herbs are still mostly doing well, although the purple basil is dying off and I don't know why (the regular basil is just fine and they're right next to each other.) I have big hopes for my carrots and radishes, they are looking pretty good! I hope to fertilize everyone later in the week.

I am still very surprised that everything is growing all right. Somehow I just thought stuff would die under my fingertips, haha.
I look forward to my little tomato :)

What else. On Thursday Jameson and I worked in the yard. He's been wanting to put down some nice mulch, so we went to Lowe's for that and a rake. I cleared out some of the weeds and old mulch, and Jameson laid edging and laid down the new red mulch. We didn't buy enough mulch or edging, so completing the yard will be an ongoing task. But still we got a lot done today and it looks great! Some before and afters:

The front of the house. Still a lot of work to be done, but I think what we managed to do already looks great!

On Friday I went back to work. I get pretty irritated because my employers gave me this really nice day planner, and I'm trying really hard to plan ahead and manage my time wisely. But every single day something comes up that just blows my plans completely out of the water.

Let's say I schedule 10 caption evaluations, one meeting with one of my employees, one hour in the morning to log my employees' timeclock punches, and one captioning timing test. By 9am I've usually gotten 5 evaluations done and I've logged the timeclock punches. But after that things start falling off the rails.

For the meeting and the timing test, I need anywhere from 30-60 minutes of uninterrupted time. So I can't do either of these tasks while I have what's called "floor coverage", where it's my responsibility to respond to calls from captionists who need to go on break or are having trouble with their stations, etc. I am required to be on coverage for three hours of the day, which leaves me four non-consecutive hours where I could complete my other tasks, minus 30 minutes for a lunch break because I need to eat. So 3.5 hours. Sounds doable right?

I still need 5 more evaluations, so I try to do them during my floor coverage and usually make it to about 8 before the last two hours of the day. I try to schedule my meeting, but my employee decides to leave two hours early so now that has to wait until tomorrow. Meanwhile another employee has failed a captioning evaluation so I need to immediately dedicate a full hour to finding them a coach, pulling them off the call floor and coaching them myself, and then remember to do 5 evaluations on this employee in addition to the five I had already scheduled for myself. But I can't start evaluating them until the coaching is finished, and that has to be a straight two hours. So now I'm down another hour at least just for handling that situation, 2.5 left.

When the coaching is finished I will need to dedicate 15-20 minutes per hour to giving them as many evaluations as I can (they can't have more than one per hour so I will only have time for two; the other three will be pushed to tomorrow.) That accounts for another 40 minutes, so now I'm down to less than two hours. But now with the unplanned evaluations in addition to the ones I'd planned for, I no longer have an uninterrupted hour to complete my timing, so that has to be put off as well. Since my other employee left early I'll now have to wait an additional day to have a meeting with them because tomorrow is their day off.

AAAAAARGH.

I mean, I'm sure a lot of this is just getting used to how I need to manage my time. But it's frustrating! Especially when my supervisors ask at the end of the day, "Why weren't you able to meet your goals?"

Anyway, there are good days and bad days at work. The good days are when the captionists on my team do their job without me having to pull them aside and spend extra time on getting them to do their work. The bad days are when I have one termination and two suspensions 30 minutes before I leave for the day.

I mean the turnaround is so high at this place, I should have known there would be a LOT of days like this. It will just take some getting used to.

On the stenography front, I need to work harder as well. I need to dedicate at least two hours per day to practicing. I'm doing all right so far, but I can feel myself coming up to a wall that will require extra effort to get over/around.

Anyway, the work week went by without much incident. Jameson is working hard too, and fighting off feelings of depression. I have faith that he will be ok. I don't know when or how, but it doesn't matter. I'm sticking by him.

On Wednesday I got to enjoy my "weekend". My poor little neglected garden continues to do extremely well, I was able to harvest a large handful of romaine lettuce, parsley, and thyme. The parsley is actually getting a little out of hand, I wonder what I'll do with it! For now I guess it's going in a salad...

The tomato plant is absolutely bursting with flowers, so I hope to see a lot of cherry tomatoes soon!
The purple basil is looking better, I think maybe it was drying out and I didn't realize it because after the last big rainstorm we had it perked up some.
The carrots and radishes are looking good, but I plan to fertilize this week and that should really help them along.
I have a confession to make. I "cheated" and bought a new strawberry plant. Listen, I have FIVE strawberry plants and not a single one has flowered or put out a strawberry! While I'm happy that all of the plants are alive, I do want to learn how to cultivate food, so I don't want to just sit back and say "oh well" when I could be trying different things to get my plants to bear fruit!

I took one of the strawberries out of the planter and moved it to a spot next to the fence behind our house. It will be a good test to see if I'll be able to plant more in that area, or if I'll need to prepare the soil or build protection from insects and animals. I put the new strawberry in the planter...I was careful to choose one with both fruit and flowers so that I could watch how things grow, and also hopefully encourage some of the other plants to start producing too. Maybe this is a stupid tactic, but hey, gotta try something!

On Thursday Jameson had to work. I took myself to Massage Envy because he got me a gift card for my birthday!
I've never had a full-body massage before. NEVER. I was a bit nervous, but once it got started, DANG. What an awesome experience! It hurt so good haha. I got a medium-hard pressure massage with a focus on my back and shoulders. Afterward I didn't want to do ANYTHING, I felt so relaxed! But tomorrow is work so we'll see how long that lasts :P

Meanwhile, I drove out to a plaza with a Whole Foods and an Aveda hair salon, and got myself a haircut! I mean why not, it's been like six months since I last got my hair cut!

I have a horrible hairline and a big zit on my face and horse teeth, so what. It felt good to get my hair cut!
Next I went to the Whole Foods for lunch and the ingredients to make chicken Alfredo pizza with a cauliflower crust! Back at home I did a little prep by squeezing all the moisture out of the cauliflower, then mixing it with cheese, egg, and spices to form the crust. As the crust baked I cooked some chicken and mixed cream, parmesan cheese, butter, garlic, and red pepper on the stove to make a creamy Alfredo sauce. When the crust was mostly finished I topped it with the sauce, chicken, and some leftover roasted broccoli we had lying around. Voila! It was delicious and fun to make!

Our day ended quietly with me preparing for work and Jameson relaxing in front of the TV after a long day at work. When my work prep was done I wrote an essay for my stenography class, then enjoyed goofing off online.

It was a pretty nice weekend, I really hope I can make it through this next work week with my stress levels down and my positivity intact!

Since my days off are now Wednesday and Thursday, I will probably be posting updates on those days instead of the weekend.

It's been a looooooong two and a half weeks.

It turned out that I was not eligible for the stenography scholarship...which I had kind of already known, and thought maybe my teacher knew something I didn't. Nope, just turns out she didn't read the paperwork properly. I'm a little annoyed but it doesn't really change anything. It was nice of her to want to nominate me anyway.

I basically haven't had a day off since my last post here. My second week of training went well, although it was very stressful and at times I wasn't sure I was cut out for the job. But one thing about CapTel is they're very encouraging, they dislike negativity in their workplace culture. So when I expressed frustration at not understanding a part of my job responsibilities, they actually scheduled someone to sit down with me and work it through for an hour. This was extremely helpful! By the time we were finished I was able to understand what I needed to do and do it more efficiently. I'm very grateful that this job was willing to work with me and spend that extra time. I don't like to inconvenience anyone, but maybe if I can do my job better it's worthwhile for them, too.

Anyway, too soon training was over and it was time to put the big girl pants on and go to work.
The first few days were nerve-racking, I had difficulty remembering all that needed to be done, plus there were new tasks that I'd not experienced yet during training. But there were people around me who helped me and walked me through it. By the end of my "week" I was feeling more comfortable with a lot of things, and trying to help others with their tasks too. When a supervisor goes on vacation someone else needs to cover their tasks, so it's kind of more work for everyone. I tried to pick up some of that extra work in addition to my own tasks. I did get it done, but it left me wondering if there was some of my own work that I was forgetting! LOL!

Either way, I finally have a day off today. OMG, MUCH NEEDED. My body was actually feeling sore from lack of rest and from sitting in those uncomfortable chairs all day. And my brain was just so fried, I can't even tell you. It felt like it was overheating haha.

Last night I came home from work totally exhausted, ready to pour a drink and call it a night. It was my birthday, but I didn't feel very special. No one at work knew it was my birthday except for one guy in scheduling, so it felt like just a regular work day. I had meant to bring in treats, but with everything going on I just never had the time.

So I came home expecting to find Jameson chilling on the couch. But he had gone out and bought us cupcakes! And he had a present for me! And he insisted that we go to dinner, because "your birthday is special!" I almost cried. Jameson has been struggling with a depression lately and I know that he probably doesn't feel like going out. Yet he set those feelings aside because he wanted me to feel special. That is absolutely amazing.

I am so, so lucky to have him. I don't care what he thinks haha. I am lucky, and very grateful. He's a wonderful man.

Anyway, I ended up choosing Bento, which is a chain sushi place but people at work are always raving about it so I figured why not give it a go. It was surprisingly good! There's another chain here called Sus-HI and while it's decent, after a while we had concerns about how they prep the food and how fresh it was. But Bento was very good and tasted very fresh. All the fish was on display so you could see the quality before they cut it up for your sushi or bowl or whatever. We both got bowls and enjoyed them very much. It was great to find a new place! We also found several other restaurants in the area we'd like to try.

While walking around we found an It'Sugar, which is a candy store chain that sells bulk and boxed candy, novelty gifts, stuff like that. We've come across them many times while traveling with the circus.
We had fun making up little bags of gummies and oogling over some of the weirder things like giant gummy bears, "urine" candy, and novelty magnets and postcards. It was a lot of fun, like something we used to do when we were in the circus...just go exploring and see what we found and enjoy it together. We both miss those times.

Back at home we ate big chocolate cupcakes that Jameson bought for us, then watched some tv before going to bed. It was a really nice end to the day and made all the difficulties of the past two weeks totally worth it.

Simple and sweet. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Today, although it's a day off, I've got an awful lot to do.
You guys, I haven't had time to clean for TWO WEEKS. EEEEEEEWWWW.
I am vaccuming, dusting, cleaning the bathrooms, mopping, and wiping down the kitchen.
Hopefully there will be time to do a little gardening, because my poor garden is neglected! While I've been too busy to care for it the red flowers have died off (they were perennials anyway) and the purple basil is wilting for some unknown reason :/ I've got work to do!

Tomorrow we want to put down some new mulch around the house, and I want to do some cooking for the week.
Hopefully somewhere in all that is a little time to chill out!

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taz_39

June 2025

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goofball on a train

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