Value

Sep. 13th, 2023 08:44 pm
taz_39: (Default)
As promised, pictures from my walk on Sunday.

A locust molt found hanging on a dividing wall.


A cardinal feather, from a female or juvenile.


That's it, haha.

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Monday I got up semi-early for work, and there wasn't anything for me to do, so worked on Foodie Finds and mixed up the ricotta filling for stuffed shells for dinner. Eventually I was given some work to do, did that and had therapy. We talked about my frustrations with work and not being able to contribute to the household, and I was able to explain myself a little better re: what it means for me to be a professional musician, and why I'm not willing to give that up just yet. I'd honestly like to get off the topic, but it's my own fault for griping about it and it IS a big point of stress in my life at this time. Anyway, it brought up another important thing which is how defensive I get about certain topics. So it was good that we talked about that even if it made me kinda huffy. I acknowledged my huffiness at least. And have promised to actively work on how I talk about myself, as a part of the process that leads to being defensive.Which I was ready to do in the moment, but as you will see below, as the week went on I went full-tilt in the opposite direction.

Also, he ended the session by telling me that I need to know and hear that I am loved and cared for.
Which immediately makes me burst into tears if anyone ever says it in my direction.
Because the last people to say those words to me and mean it are either all dead, or are different people now.
When the only person that you hear "You are loved" from is the guy you're paying to say it, that's sad.
But hearing it at all is enough to instantly cut me to the core.
There, now you know my emotional weakness.

As work wound down I threw together a no-knead bread recipe, which is just flour, yeast, water, and salt.
You barely even mix it, then let it sit on the counter for "2 to 3 hours" which in Florida is 1.5 hours.
Then you put a Dutch oven in the oven and let it get super hot, 450°F for 30 minutes.
Shape your loaf, drop it in the Dutch oven, close the lid and let it cook for 30 minutes, then 12 with the lid off.




Tada, bread. Nice and crusty and warm.
When that was done I made the stuffed shells.


With a side salad it was all very nice and Italian. Jameson put Boursin cheese on his bread, how FANCY.

After dinner he had to go to a rehearsal, and there was a big severe thunderstorm that blew through so I was worried for him, but he was able to set up and return home safely.

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Tuesday I got up early to work and pretty much worked all day.
Jameson got more good news about the Jollywood gig: they want him to MD it!
That means he'll get paid more, and also be involved in most if not all rehearsals.
The best part is that they mentioned the possibility of him doing this gig in the future as well.
Future gigs! Every musician's dream :)

I'm extremely happy for him of course! But on the selfish front, his success threw my failures into stark contrast as I plugged away at my $12/hr data entry job. Yes, I get to go on tour in a few months, but what you may not understand is that Jameson is going to make more than I earn in an entire year from that ONE holiday Disney gig. Plus he has a full time job. I am losing money this summer, so whatever I earn from the tour will just be replacing what was lost; I won't get ahead.

This made me think more about finding something to become certified in, perhaps while on tour.
Because frankly I just don't know what else to do. I want to keep touring and/or performing professionally, but if I'm just going to lose the money anyway and then not be valued anywhere else, there's no point. It's very disheartening. I know that Jameson has felt this same way for a long time, stuck at his dead end job, which is why I'm relieved and happy that he's suddenly got great gigs! But the difference in our situations is that he at least has full time work. He gets paid a living wage. He doesn't have to watch his bank account dwindle down because he's only worth $12 per hour, like me, a piece of garbage. If Jameson kicked me out tomorrow, I would be in absolute poverty despite all the money I've saved. It doesn't make me feel good.

I have to pay someone to tell me I'm loved, but I can't afford it. Lol.

Anyway, at some point I had to stop working because despite being garbage I'm also a human being who needs to eat and go outside once in a while. It was hot and humid and there were big heavy clouds in the sky, but the storms were not coming my way.


On this walk I found a broken wasp or hornet nest...


...and a bagworm cocoon. I don't think I've seen one of these before, it's pretty cool.
I am finding many good things on my walks lately.


Back home I relaxed as much as I could, which wasn't very much, and went around bookmarking types of certifications to look into.

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I got up at 6:30am to work. I'm currently doing an upload project for the TSOLife app, which offers games and activities for residents (as well as the usual analytics side for the nursing home staff). The activities/games are just things like crossword puzzles, or recipes, or little cupcake toppers for when it's someone's birthday...arts and crafts projects...you get the idea. What I'm doing is basically populating at database with activities, one activity at a time; for example if there are fifty crossword pages, I'm uploading each page as an individual activity, plus instructions, a description, tags, categories, images, etc.

I like this kind of work better than processing the intake forms because it's easier to get into a flow and pattern when you're uploading 50 of the same thing over and over. It makes the time go faster. Which is why I easily got 7 hours in today.

Jameson had a performance at Disney again tonight but we got HelloFresh, and one of the meals had fish so I felt it best to cook it tonight (he's not going to be here for dinner tomorrow night either.) It was yummy but would have been better with company.

In other news, my sister--the one who is an OR nurse and lives in our hometown with her husband and child--made an offer on a house, and got it! And it's not just any house, it's a historic house! Very very beautiful. I'd share the listing but don't want the whole random internet knowing where she'll live (it's bad enough that people might reverse search this image. Don't do that!!!)

The house:


The inside is gorgeous. Hardwood everywhere, original ceilings and fireplaces and replica wallpaper. I am so happy for her!!
Honestly, to me, this is a castle. I will never be able to afford something like this.

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Currently it's Wednesday night and I'm typing this up in the quiet of the house, doing a load of laundry.
I've just bookmarked a bunch of sites about certifying for digital reporting and/or transcription.
I don't want to do this. I don't want to have to pay to get results, to get value.

"You have value outside of your job!" my therapist says.

Yeah? Prove it. Because I haven't seen any evidence of that.
I have to pay someone to tell me I'm loved. What does that say about my value?
I have to pay (once again) for courses and certifications that may-or-may-not give me value in the workplace. What does that say about my value to society?
I have to pay $180 on Friday to spend fifteen minutes with a doctor, probably so they can tell me to eat antacids and work on reducing stress. What does that say about the value of my physical self?

If I had value, I'd just be valued.
I wouldn't have to constantly pay someone to attribute me some value.

Whatever. I'm in a really bad place this week. But at least my sweetheart and my sister are rocking it! Good on 'em!
taz_39: (Default)
After a very restless night full of stress dreams about having blood drawn, I woke up early and sat around drinking water like a crazy person until it was time to get to Quest.

I didn't have to wait at all, I was seen right away, and the nurse was cheerful and kind which put me at ease. Of course I was still terrified, but it is so helpful just to know that someone is looking at you as a person, not an object to be poked and prodded.

I told her right away: "I am phobic about blood draws, and sometimes have a bad reaction. I will tell you if I feel bad or need to lie down, but should be fine otherwise. Just please be patient with me, and please don't try to make me watch the procedure!"

She was super kind, and took me to a room with a reclining chair so that I could be semi-horizontal during the blood draw.
She "oohed" over my veins--most nurses do, I have VERY prominent veins and VERY pale skin so you can see everything extremely easily--and said, "Wow, your veins are GREAT. This will go very quickly!"

And it did. I think she used a butterfly needle even though I hadn't asked for one; I barely felt the prick. And it couldn't have taken 30 seconds. I was absolutely elated! Reminder of how my last blood draw went earlier this summer: I had two nurses stabbing me multiple times and wiggling a needle around in my arm, demanding that I "LOOK AT IT" to see how the blood wasn't coming out, laughing and joking with each other while I was getting tunnel vision and on the verge of passing out. Today was a much, much better experience than that fiasco. I am NEVER having blood drawn at that doctor's office again; I'll go to Quest from now on. I thanked the nurse profusely and made sure to fill out the "How did we do?" card before leaving to describe how happy I was with the experience.

As I was walking back to my car I heard the familiar cry of the red-tailed hawk and saw a couple, perched on the corner of the building.
(CLICK HERE to see them)

Driving home I saw a hot air balloon coming in for a landing.
(CLICK HERE to watch)

This is a very common sight in our area, it's a tourist thing.
You'll always see them early in the morning when the air is still, the sky is clear, and it's still relatively cool.
The sunrise from up there must look amazing.

Back home I had breakfast and decompressed and got to work with data entry.
Jameson was on his way out the door for rehearsal and made sure to check that I was OK, what a sweetheart!
He is much more chipper these past few days, because of all the Disney gigs, and I'm very happy to see him happy!
Now I wish I could match his mood! I am just feeling so anxious and worried about everything lately. Very tired of it, but I'm not sure how to make it better other than keep plugging away at therapy.

Anyway, it was a very quiet day of data entry.
After lunch I went to Publix because we both need things but Jameson hasn't had time to grab anything.
I made our last HelloFresh for dinner, bulgogi meatballs. And had a drink.

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Friday it was back to work-life as normal. I got up early and put in as many hours as I could all day.

In the afternoon I took a trip to Walmart for some exciting treats: pineapple Dole Whip in the freezer section! And Monster Mash cereal for Jameson! We both avoid Walmart like the plague, but sometimes they get really fun stuff that we just gotta try :)

More workworkwork, and I got up to 22 hours out of my usual 30, which I think is really great.

Also, I got my blood work results back already! Everything looks good...that is, very little has changed since I last got bloodwork in 2020. My cholesterol is down, yeehaw! One thing that has me slightly concerned is that I have low alkaline phosphatase...it's always been low, but it keeps getting lower. Most of my other results are normal or really close to normal, so I'm not sure what to make of it, but will be sure to ask. It's worth noting that no one has mentioned it to this point, though it's been low on every blood draw.

Anyway. I had hoped to get a walk in because it was amazingly cool outside for once; a big storm system blew through and the temp dropped below 80!! But I just had to catch up with work. Jameson got out of rehearsal early, so we ate and caught up with each other and relaxed. Tomorrow is the Disney event, D23! I made sure to share the livestream link everywhere that I could, because I'll be watching and I want other people to watch too! So proud of him! :D

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Jameson had to get up at like 5:30am, so I was awake as well.
I tried to get back to sleep but couldn't because I was anxious about my own gig today (Spanish church).

Eventually got up and went for a short walk around the neighborhood before the sun was fully up.
Saw two hot air balloons in the sky.
Found these pretty purple flowers, which are on my usual route but I've never seen them before.
Probably close up when it gets too hot out.


I've seen this plant growing in a crack in a dividing wall for quite some time now.
Wonder how long it can last there. It looked pretty with dew on it.


Back home, breakfast and sending the link to the D23 livestream to everyone I know, then watching it myself when 9am rolled around. I got as many screenshots of the band as I could, which was hard work because the camera work was not great. Still, I got some nice ones!






It looks like they had a lot of fun! I was so proud :)

Jameson got home and told me all about everything as we ate lunch. It was a really great experience for him, especially being acknowledged for the work he put in (he ended up handling a lot of the cues between dialogue and music to take some of that burden off of the stage manager) and meeting some very talented folks including the Genie from Aladdin on Broadway, Jodi Benson (the voice of the animated Little Mermaid), several of the puppeteers of The Muppets, and a boatload of corporate Disney people. The band has one brief performance for tomorrow's D23 closing ceremony, and then he'll be done. But he's now got the Jollywood event to look forward to this Christmas, which is great!

After lunch I drove out to my gig, a huge Baptist church partway to Orlando.
(CLICK HERE to see sanctuary)

Did you see that big boom camera? It was IN MY FACE.
Luckily I've done shows with cameras like this before and have gotten good at ignoring them.


The other musicians were really nice, rehearsal went smoothly. We did have to make some changes to one piece, but that's what rehearsals are for! I really hit it off with the trumpet player, who was a former Carson Barnes circus guy, so we had a lot in common and were yapping any time there was a break in rehearsal. They church fed us a nice dinner of rice, beans, ground beef, and plantains (WAY better than my sad pile of nonperishables), then the pastor came and prayed over us, then off we went to put on a show.

Before leaving the house, I had given Jameson the link to the church's Spanish services page, because if they ended up streaming it that's where it'd appear. Sure enough, they did livestream it, so it was his turn to get screenshots of me!





That boom camera really WAS in my face a few times :p



They've since put up a video of the whole service. The music starts at timestamp 8:30 if you want to hear me play churchy stuff! (CLICK HERE to watch)

The service went well, there were some small mistakes from each of us but barely noticeable.
I thought we did really well. We gave hugs and thanks all around when we were done.
It would be nice to be asked to play for this church again! However I was filling in for their usual trombonist (my fried Mike again, who seems to know everyone and have ALL the gigs), so I have no illusions about it.

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Sunday was thankfully chill for me as I wasn't feeling that great, no pinpointable reason so probably stress + Aunt Flo.

I did data entry work but there was nothing left after only an hour, and it being Sunday I can't expect more.
Jameson went to do the second part of his Disney gig, which I didn't get to watch because they chose not to livestream it. But I wrote my sister a letter, and cleaned the bathrooms, and wiped down my small trombone to go back into storage (I used it for the church gig.) 

Then I decided, no, I'm done. And laid down on the bed for about an hour doing nothing but reading and watching TikTok.
Lunch and to the grocery store for ingredients for stuffed shells, one of Jameson's favorites.
Back home I again didn't do much...I think I needed a decompression day, mentally. Also my throat was feeling sore so maybe I'm coming down with something again? Really hope not.

I went for a truncated walk, but will share pictures from that in the next post as this one already has loads of pics :)

As I'm typing this Jameson is out with friends at Universal's Halloween Horror Nights (I'm going with him next weekend.) I hope he's having fun! I'm just going to binge-watch Wheel of Time and read until I fall asleep.
taz_39: (Default)
Thursday working, and then I made the 1930s peanut butter bread from Baking Yesteryear for the guys over at Warburton.

It turned out fine, just didn't get very tall, which I hate. I know quick breads don't get very tall anyway, but I don't understand why mine always seem even flatter than is typical. The smell was fantastic as you can guess (think peanut butter cookies) and Jameson was groaning about how he wanted a loaf, so I will make us one tomorrow. This time I'm throwing an egg in there, that should fluff things up.

In the evening I went for a neighborhood walk.
The sun is setting a little earlier, it can't be much earlier than usual but I'm always surprised to notice the change.

I decided to take a page from [personal profile] summersgate's book and bring you along on my walk.

go on a walk with me )

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For once I had met my 30 hour minimum on Thursday, so I didn't have to work on Friday!
But I did get up at 7:30 still, and ate breakfast, and enjoyed some "me time" before driving the hour-and-fifteen to Warburton again.

I brought the peanut butter bread and it was much appreciated.
The receptionist and some of the craftsmen from the back came out to eat some, toasted and with salted butter.
We ate and sipped coffee while they re-laquered my trombone mouthpiece. It was a good visit :)

From there I drove to The Loop which is a shopping plaza partway back.
There's a Fresh Market in there. I treated myself to their grocery store sushi and checked to see if they had gummy candy corn (they didn't but it's early), then went to the Yankee Candle in the same area because I had a buy 1/get 1 coupon and Jameson mentioned wanting a vanilla candle. After lots of sniffing, settled on a smoked vanilla (which I suspect I will like more than him) and vanilla creme brulee (which I suspect he will like more than me). Then a stop at Publix for groceries for the week.

Back home Jameson was in some mood because he had to buy a tux for Candlelight.
The hope was that they'd provide outfits...you KNOW Disney has a whole warehouse somewhere dedicated to employee uniform tuxes. But no, so his choices were to rent a tux for three separate performances (at $200 per rental) or buy one ($600) so he bought one. It's probably good to have a tux in your closet anyway, but when you've made it past the age of 40 without having to buy one I guess it's hard. I'd be mad too. That takes a huge chunk of the money he'd be making on these gigs...in fact, more than half of his pay will probably go toward the outfit for the event.

So I had him smell the vanilla candles (my predictions were correct about what he'd like) and then made the peanut butter bread again which made the house smell delicious and put him back in an "ok" mood. Poor guy.


I have to admit that I cheated on this loaf; I did two things to make it rise higher.
Thing 1: used a smaller pan!
Thing 2: added an egg!

This quick-bread recipe is from the Depression era, when some ingredients (EGGS and BUTTER) were scarce. And so innovative housewives looked in their pantries and found substitutes; in this case peanut butter, because it has both protein and fat that can take the place of eggs and butter. But peanut butter doesn't have nearly the protein content of an egg.
And this ain't the Depression. I got eggs.

We enjoyed still-warm slices with an Italian dark chocolate peach spread that I got last week using a gift card.
It was incredibly good.

In the evening we watched two episodes of Only Murders In The Building, then Jameson went to a game night with his friends and I stayed home to vacuum and practice trombone and relax (I mean, TRY to relax.)

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I woke up an absolute mess on Saturday, heart racing and very anxious.
No idea why, perhaps there was an intense stress dream?
But it took all morning to even calm partway down. Not fun.

But I felt better when Kim, the Warburton receptionist, sent these adorable pictures of Moe the squirrel enjoying a small piece of my peanut butter bread! A squirrel likes something that I made...I am proud :D


Then breakfast, then outside to finally separate out a new banana pup that's grown big enough to stand on its own.
For the first time, I had to kill the other pups. There are too many of them now, and I don't need any more banana trees especially if they're all pouring energy into making clones instead of fruit. I feel bad but that's gardening for ya.

As I was cutting off dead banana leaves, I discovered a surprise!


These are two-striped walkingstick bugs.
The female is 2.5 inches long; I was startled to suddenly be facing such a large insect.
The male is much smaller and rides on her back (which is why these are often called "devilriders".)


They are very slow-moving and do not bite, but they can squirt a stinky chemical in self-defense that can irritate your eyes.
So I was very gentle and kept my distance. It was cool to find something new! Always bring your phone when gardening :)

Back inside I goofed off and ate lunch and practiced trombone.
I get tired more quickly on the larger trombone, but hopefully that will not be an issue soon.

Jameson and I went for a dip in the pool in the afternoon, which was nice as it's still very hot here.
He went to a show with friends (over an hour away and it's a show I'm not interested in so I declined) so I watched anime and worked on Foodie Finds and drank the last of my sake.

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Sunday I got up early to work.
It went fine, I think.
Trombone practice in the afternoon, now I'm really buckling down on muscle memory so I can be ultra-comfortable with the part by the time the tour starts. And then of course they'll make changes and cuts and I'll have to learn all over again :p

It was a very slow day as Sundays often are, Jameson watched the Cubs game and I got very sleepy around 3:30 and had to struggle for my last hour of work. We ordered pizza and after dinner I tried to go for a walk, but it started raining in the first five minutes so I came back. It's also getting darker significantly earlier.

I guess Tropical Storm Idalia may nip us this week?
It will be nice to get some rain.
taz_39: (Default)
I woke up with a start around 8am. Overslept!

At least, for the work-from-home schedule that I impose on myself, that is oversleeping.
At first I was angry with myself...now I'll have to work on Friday :(
But then I tried to be kind to myself. I didn't feel good last night, I have been very stressed, and the entire benefit of a job like this is flexibility. You are SUPPOSED to take time when you need it. Sleeping in an extra half hour was, apparently, needed and good. Plus I had absolutely nothing at all planned for the day except to work and maybe go for another walk.

After breakfast I got notification that my new trombone has shipped and will arrive tomorrow before 8pm!
I am excited and a bit nervous about it. What if it doesn't work out?
I mean, the answer is I'll send it back and pay the restocking fee.
But there are some emotional stakes here as well. (Explained in a separate post.)

So I had breakfast and started working at 9am.
Plugged along all day, and managed to catch up enough that I'll only have to do 1.5 hours on Friday.

For dinner Jameson wanted to try the new Lazy Dog they've built near Margaritaville, so off we went.
It was pretty good! They messed up my salad, but replaced it and offered sides to make up for it (I said no.)
Our meals were pretty standard, the highlights were the "crunchy deviled eggs" which turned out to be fried:


And the butter cake, which I thought was just OK but Jameson enjoyed very much.
I did like the chewy texture, it's just not something I'd normally go for (they were out of the dessert we'd actually wanted)


We want to come back here for brunch, they've got some fun dishes on that menu to try!

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Friday, I still got up at 7:30am to finish my 1.5 hours of Nursing Home Job.
When that was done I went to Publix for groceries, and then my trombone was delivered! Huzzah!


I excitedly cracked it open. At first everything looked ok...


...but after looking more closely, I realized something was wrong.
This was NOT the new 1047 model. It was the older one. The one I'd had in high school.


My first clue was that the bell was stamped "Eterna Series", not "Eterna Novus", which is the new model.
My second clue was the serial number, which contained the old model number, 1047FR. The new model would be 1047FNR.
And my final clue was just touching the slide. The new model is supposed to have a wider bracing (which I could immediately tell upon touching it that this did not) and a removable leadpipe (which was nowhere to be seen.)

Drat. Well, as I've found out with jobs this year as well, if it sounds too good to be true it probably is.
I was very disappointed, but called and left a polite message with the music store asking how to proceed.
I admired the trombone anyway. This model holds a lot of wonderful memories for me, and it was great to see it again :)
I didn't play it because I used to work music retail, and I know that the less I touch it the better for their sale purposes.

The trombone news continued to be bad, as I spent some time practicing on my Bach 42 with my new mouthpiece.
Everything was fine, I really enjoyed it. But when I was finished and packing up I noticed something that looked like tarnish, that hadn't been there before. Uh oh.


I scrubbed at it with a polishing cloth and it didn't come out.
This typically means that the lacquer didn't apply correctly, and the brass is leeching through.
I sent a picture to Warburton and they confirmed that something ain't right. I'll have to drive all the way back there for a fix or replacement. Sigh. The good news is they're not THAT far. Plus, I can still continue playing on the mouthpiece (it's unlikely to harm me at this stage.) Plus, now I can bake up some treats to bring to my friends at Warburton :)

The rest of my night was kind of stressful. I was having intense health anxiety because of a twinging sensation in my side that I was CONVINCED was gallbladder stones...never mind that I wasn't nauseous or in actual pain. Health anxiety is so weird. I KNOW I'm overreacting in the moment that it's happening, but I can't shut it off. It's like pumping the brakes on a car with a cut brakeline. I can shout logic to myself all I want but my unconscious fight-or-flight just will not accept it. Anyway, I was fine, just upset and freaking out all night for no reason.

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Saturday felt luxurious because I didn't have to work.
The music shop got back to me, sending return paperwork because they don't have any other 1047s in stock.
I am not surprised at all. I WAS surprised that they'd said they'd had one in the first place. Go figure.
They very kindly are not going to charge me any restocking fees, so I very kindly am not going to play the horn so they don't have to worry about cleaning it other than a quick outer polish. Look how kind we are to each other.

Then I worked on Megan's Foodie Finds. I've gotten behind on it!
Then a walk in the afternoon heat (still cooler than it's been at least.)
I washed our sheets, cleaned the bathrooms, did a lazy dusting, and more Foodie Finds.

At night we went to Stubborn Mule for dinner.
They're usually one of our favorite restaurants, but tonight they were kinda off their game.
They had a prix fixe menu going for a charity event, and it seemed like that was interfering with normal kitchen operations. Our food came out at different times, and each of our meals had something wrong with them (nothing major enough to send back, just things like Jameson's steak wasn't cooked the way he'd asked and his salad came without a topping.)

And my flatbread came with balsamic instead of hot honey like it was supposed to...but it was still good, ya know?


After that we went to The Abbey to see some of Jameson's friends perform.
Everyone did a great job! It was kind of a medley setup, different actors/singers performing numbers from different musicals one after the other. It was also a role reversal: men sang songs written for women and vice versa. That was really cool!

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Sunday I got up at 7am so I could get some work in before packing up the Getzen trombone and taking it to UPS to be returned.
Then I worked until I'd hit my six hour mark, all the while fighting health anxieties because I still have that weird stitch in my side. Again, no other symptoms, so don't ask why I'm so hyper-fixated that there is something seriously wrong. That's the joy of being a hypochondriac.

I practiced trombone a little in the afternoon, and that was good.
We didn't do much at night except Jameson played a new Chainsaw Massacre game while I tried to get caught up on Attack on Titan and worked on Megan's Foodie Finds.

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On Monday I'll have therapy, but nothing else planned except work and either practice or a walk in the afternoon.
Oh, and we're going to a comedy club on Monday night, that should be fun!

...You know, right now we are both really stressed out about our own personal things.
I hope we can get back to ourselves soon.
taz_39: (Default)
So much for the dramatic, nostalgic twists and turns of fate!

They sent me the wrong model of trombone!

It's still a Getzen Eterna, just the original model.
So it was still a lovely thing to pull it out of the box and see that familiar rose brass bell :)

But I could tell right away that it was not the new version.
No removable leadpipe, no silver tuning pipe, no variegated rotor, and nowhere on the horn did it say "Novus".

I'm disappointed, but called the store and hopefully they'll get back to me soon (the person I who sold me the horn was off today.)
Mostly I'm annoyed that no one LOOKED at the trombone before sending it off.
Typical.

This makes me doubt that they actually have the new model in stock.
Which means I'll probably be sending this horn back and getting a refund.
But it was nice to see it again, and after I talk to the salesperson tomorrow, maybe I'll play it a little before sending it back if that doesn't up my restocking fee.
taz_39: (Default)
I bought a new trombone to try this week, and there's more to the story than that.

TL;DR: Years ago, and just a year or two before she died, my mom bought me my first semi-professional model trombone.
(full story under the cut, or jump to the bottom of page for TL;DR cont'd if you don't want to read/can't see the cut)

The Longer Story )

(TL;DR cont'd)
The significance of this is that now, twelve years after my mom's death, exactly at a time when I decide to consider buying a different trombone, the model that my mom bought for me is receiving an upgrade, and I am somehow strangely able to get one of them before they're widely available.

It's a weird kind of full circle.
This horn is not even being advertised yet except for on a very few retail sites; not even Getzen has a page for their own trombone yet.
Most trombonists don't know it exists. And most trombonists will not be able to try one either because of the backorder.

Finding it now, just because I was having my heart tugged toward my mother's gift, feels like she came and tapped me on the shoulder, and helped me to find a hidden treasure. A secret that only she and I knew about.

I know it's probably just an interesting coincidence.
And despite the feelings and attachment that I have for that trombone model, I'm still going to be VERY practical in deciding which trombone to keep (one of them has to go, I can't afford a new trombone right now and selling the Bach will cover the full cost of the Getzen.)

I may not end up with "mom's trombone" again.
But just the fact that I'm able to try it, when it's not publicly available, is kind of a miracle. To me, anyway.

It made me feel wonder, and excitement for playing the trombone again.

Thanks, mom :)
taz_39: (Default)
Monday, six hours of Nursing Home Job, during which I received corrections on most of the work I've submitted up to this point. I thanked my supervisor but ignored it for now; a bunch of us are doing a mass data correction and they've just added at least 100 more accounts to that, so I won't get to look at my work on individual profiles all week.

Otherwise, did some casual trombone window shopping and air-tromboned my My Fair Lady book.
I have some good trombone-buying options lined up, but Florida doesn't have many professional instrument shops so if I want to try anything I'll have to buy it, then return it with shipping and restocking fees if I don't like it. That makes it a lot harder to commit.

Therapy was very good. This guy is great and I'm glad I switched to him.
I knew for sure, today, that he is the right one to help me when he didn't open with, "So how's the weather where you are?" or "Did you do anything fun this week?" but instead said, "Hi. Give me a spectrum of what your week was like, high points and low points and neutral. Then I want to hear more about how your dad died."

YES, THANK GOD, let's have an actual therapy session!

He did not waste any time, dove right in and asked very pointed questions about my past and how I experience things and a whole spectrum of personal information that he says will help make a plan for addressing my anxiety, hypervigilance, phobic thoughts, and physical symptoms of stress. I could not be more thrilled that we're not dicking around with "five things you can smell" or whatever. He's asking lots of questions to get the biggest picture he can, then we'll have to pick an angle from which to try some things out. And of course this will take significant time, I do NOT expect a quick fix. A lot of my habits and thought patterns were established during formative years...hypervigilance in particular has been my entire life because my parents divorced when I was five. But that's a story you didn't sign up for.

Ultimately I very much feel like I lucked into the right therapist for me.
Even if it doesn't work out, I absolutely feel like someone is in my corner, for the first time in an extremely long time.

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Tuesday I woke up extra-early to try and squeeze in work before driving to Warburton, but just my luck there was an internet outage in our neighborhood. Still I logged 20 minutes using my phone as a hotspot before it was time to go.

It took an hour to get there. I've been here before and the shop is just as I remember it.


Warburton Music is primarily a trumpet mouthpiece supplier, so the largest part of their building is reserved for lathes and metal milling machines and engravers and such. The "front" is not fancy at all: a reception desk, a wall lined with boxes of shiny mouthpieces, some wire racks and tables displaying their other merch (practice materials and their house-made pinewood mutes, mostly), and some tables and chairs in the center of the room where you can drag your instruments and your pile of mouthpieces and go to town.

Pretty sure the disco ball has always been there...I don't know, and I don't ask!


It was a little messy because they're getting some newer, bigger, better machines, so everything is in disarray as they make room and shuffle things around. The receptionist, Kim, apologized for the mess. I told her I've worked in music retail f-o-r-e-v-e-r and that if it's not messy it's probably not a very good instrument shop :)

Kim is a trumpet player herself, and assisted me with narrowing down mouthpieces (trumpet and trombone mouthpieces follow a similar sizing scheme even though they are on different sizing scales, if that makes sense.) We started with a one-piece mouthpiece, which I found too deep, so we tried something more shallow and that was better.

Then I moved on to different shanks, and quickly found one that was a GREAT combo with the cup I'd chosen.
I know you're not brass musicians, you reading this, so here's a short article that explains the parts of a brass mouthpiece, what they do and why they're important. Every musician is different and needs different things.

My situation is:

- I've been playing a small-bore trombone since 2012 (that's ten years straight, or eight if you don't count the pandemic.)
- I'm going to have to play a large-bore trombone for My Fair Lady, for the first time in about a decade.
- Because I've played a smaller trombone for so long, I am no longer comfortable on the larger trombone.

There are many ways to remedy this situation, the main one is just to practice the larger trombone until it feels comfortable again. But I have also changed as a player in the decade that I was playing the smaller horn. So my goal is to accommodate the player I am now and work toward what I want to be, which is a player who is comfortable on both of these trombones. To do that, in addition to plain old practice, I need to bridge the gap between my equipment sizes to make it easier to switch back and forth with less adjustment.

The mouthpiece cup that I chose was midway between the size I use on the small trombone and the large one.
The shank has a taper that gives me the backpressure and air support you'd expect when playing a small trombone, while giving me the open sound and fullness that I need to fill up a large trombone. It is a huge improvement over the mouthpiece I had been using on my large trombone, which was a damaged off-brand thing that I dug out of a bargain bin in Kansas City in 2017. Definitely the first thing that needed to change, before I go around blowing money on all-new trombones!

I was very satisfied with my finds, and am excited to work with them and get a better playing experience!

Before I hit the road again Kim wanted to give me a tour of the shop. I've been to Warburton before, but the machinery is always deeply interesting and the smell of oil and metal shavings and brass polish are nostalgic to me.

I said hello to Bob, the big CNC lathe that custom-shapes mouthpieces for Warburton.
(Bob is named after Bob Giardinelli.)


This machine (I don't know if it had a name!) was making a rotor.
Here is a photo of it while not in operation, and for video while it's running, CLICK HERE.


There are lots of machines back there, and I didn't want to be a tourist taking pics of all their stuff for their competitors to take a gander at, but enjoyed seeing the engraving station and the trumpet construction zone and the chemical dip curtained off with big rubber flaps, because caustic acid and cyanide.

Then Kim introduced me to her squirrel!
(CLICK HERE to see him)

This is her pet squirrel Moe, who was one of several she rescued after a hurricane.
Some of the squirrels died, and some returned to the wild, but one refused to leave and just kept coming back.
So she kept him! He seemed very healthy and energetic. I watched as she fed him sweet potato slices and frozen peas (she usually gives him fresh snap peas but had forgotten them at home, and keeps frozen peas at the shop for such "emergencies".) What a great mascot to have! He was super cute, though I felt bad because as a raptor-and-reptile person, I view squirrels less as lovable beings and more as food items for other animals.

It was a great visit, and although I blew a lot of money (mouthpieces are NOT cheap especially good ones like Warburton's) it was completely worth it. Now I can make better progress adapting to the larger trombone. AND I got to hang out with a squirrel!

Back home, a photo of my new mouthpiece (I got two shanks because I couldn't decide between them and I think the larger one will serve me better a few months from now when I've readjusted):


I scarfed lunch, caught Jameson up on my doings, and got to work at Nursing Home Job (the internet was back.) I had known visiting Warburton would set back my hours, that's why I worked on Sunday. I managed to log about three hours before my brain needed to do something else.

Also, I DID actually purchase a new trombone today...but as I mentioned earlier, this is the only way I'll be able to try trombones, by buying them and then returning them (which will cost shipping and a restocking fee.) I am probably only going to try this one horn, I can't afford to try many this way. Still, it's exciting!

Later in the day I made HelloFresh for us, then while Jameson went to Target for some things I went for a walk.
Today was the first day in over a week where we didn't have a heat advisory.
It was still hot out, but "normal" hot. What a relief. I hope it stays that way, or just keeps getting cooler from here.

The rest of my night kind of sucked because I felt incredibly anxious for no specific reason.
Probably from staring at my computer all day, and from worrying about money because of buying a trombone.
Several times I was on the verge of a panic attack, and my guts felt bad.
But I can't do anything when this happens except try to ignore it and try to stay calm.

I can understand why so many people are on anxiety meds. I could have used some tonight.

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Not much ahead for the weekend I think, just more work and hopefully the new trombone showing up before the weekend or by early next week. Jameson and I are going out somewhere on Saturday, I forget where, but it should be a nice break from the routine.
taz_39: (Default)
Monday, I woke up early because I was already nervous about the CT scan on Tuesday.

After breakfast I did laundry, washed my trombone, and made a grocery list.
At the grocery I found Dr. Pepper Float Ice Cream! Yay!

For dinner I made meatball subs...or rather, "Joe's Spuckies Meatball Spuckies."


The recipe was from the Vault Dweller's Cookbook, which is designed around the foods in the Fallout video game series.
Joe's Spuckies is apparently some kind of fictional Boston/New England chain specializing in subs, specifically meatball subs.
Ads from the game:


It was super easy to make, and the meatballs were so good that we agreed to make them again the next time we do spaghetti. A blend of beef, pork, and turkey with finely chopped carrots and onions, a zesty dried spice blend, panko crumbs, and parm cheese. I browned them in a pan then let them simmer in the marinara for 20 minutes while I toasted hoagie rolls with garlic butter in the oven. When the meatballs were done I slathered them in sauce, topped them with melty mozzarella and a little pepperoncini, and there you have it.

I ate a whole sub, which is a lot for me, and despite that I did not feel any burning or cramping at all. Idk what to think.

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I barely got any sleep because of nerves.

Those of you who have regular medical procedures are probably rolling your eyes, and rightly so.
It's such a minor procedure. I don't know why I get all worked up over all things medical, but can only assume it's

A) previous bad associations, and
B) my dad's aversions have rubbed off on me, which is actually a GREAT motivator to face my fears since he was an idiot who died because he didn't listen to his doctor.

Aaaanyway. I got up early to mix up the Omnipaque 350 (the dye) with about two bottles of water.
Drank the first bottle at 6:15 and started the second at 7:15 while driving to the radiology building.

Of course I had to, uh, "evacuate" several times during the 20 minutes spent in the waiting room, but otherwise felt fine.
The scan was even easier than I'd anticipated. They didn't require a hospital gown, and I'd been told the scan would take 15 minutes but it actually only took 2-3 minutes. And it was just lying on a table that moved through a doughnut-shaped ring with my arms over my head. It was like a horizontal version of an airport body scan. Twice a recorded voice prompt told me to take a deep breath and hold it, which I did, then it would tell me to breathe normally again.

That was it. Done and done.

On the way home I stopped at Wawa for a flavored coffee (treat yo'self.)
And by the time I got home, the results were in my inbox!

It was a written summary of what a medical professional had observed in the images. From my uneducated interpretation of the results, most things looked normal and the things that AREN'T normal are at least not DIRE. I have a slightly enlarged liver, and the gallbladder could not be seen on the scan. Googling these things was pretty inconclusive.

But about that time the PA called to go over the scan results with me. She's not a GI, but she certainly knows more than me, so I felt relieved when she said that there was nothing to be immediately concerned over. She did suggest getting some liver function tests done, but said that would be up to the GI or PCP. When she didn't mention the absence of the gallbladder I asked about it, and she was like, "Oh, that. Yeah sometimes it's hard to see."

In a week I'll see what the GI has to say, but am going to stop worrying about all of this until then.

When Jameson was up and about I vacuumed, practiced trombone, had lunch, and went for a walk. It was hot and muggy and I felt gross afterward, but any day that's in the low 90s I've got to exercise even if it's uncomfortable.

For dinner we had leftover meatballs.

------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday, I had lingering effects from the Omnipaque (an entire morning of diarrhea, sorry for the TMI but I'm a Real Human and a biological organism just like you.) Drank loads of water and only half of my coffee, and felt uncomfortable for two hours.

But hey! No acidic burning in my stomach! Lol.

When my stupid colon seemed to finally settle down I got dressed and practiced trombone for a while.

One of our bassists from Tootsie is local to Orlando, and he's asked me to record a few bars of a jingle for a project, so I did that with Jameson's help. Then I worked on a setlist of party band music for Groove Slayers, a local band that I'm subbing in with as a favor to a trombonist friend while he's out of town. I don't mind party/wedding bands, but I DO mind the late hours and playing at bars. This is only two nights, and I owe this friend a lot, so I'm gonna try to enjoy it and appreciate that he asked me to cover his gigs :)

Nothing else to report. It rained in the afternoon, I went to the grocery for a few things, cleaned the bathrooms, and felt tired and a bit depressed. I want to be working.

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Thursday, Jameson got a new pool guy to service our pool because Pinch-a-Penny has let it turn green again.
New pool guy seems nice and the pool already looks better (he had to shock it.)

Nothing at all interesting all day. But at night we went to Boxi Park, which is a little outdoor venue with a stage for local bands, and some old shipping containers that have been converted into food stalls (hence, "Boxi"). We were there because Jameson's friends Lea and Simon invited us, and because The Hooligans were playing (Jameson and Lea have performed with them before), and because why not have a night out with friends!

We got there before our friends, ordered food, and listened to The Hooligans.


Our lobster rolls from Claw & Order, with herb lemon mayonnaise.
They were REALLY good! Jameson liked the fries a lot, I wish I could replicate them.


When our friends arrived we had drinks at the bar and socialized with the band for their first set break.
Once they were back playing again it was hard to hear anything over the music, but we did the best we could to have conversations while drinking and sweating. It's still stupid hot out around here, and every time I used the restroom there were gaggles of women in there not to use the toilets but to soak up air conditioning in the one place it was provided. This venue should really look into other cooling options.

We had a fun time and it was good to get out for a bit with good people.

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Friday I woke up feeling pretty good, but in the late afternoon when my stomach was empty I had some mild cramping/burning, so I am back to thinking that this could be an ulcer and that alcohol was certainly not helpful (no kidding genius.)

After breakfast I got dressed and went to the radiology clinic for a CD of my guts! Obviously I want to look at them!

The radiology clinic is near a tailor that I use regularly, so I stopped there too to get some thrift store pants hemmed. From there, a 40-minute drive to Whole Paycheck for ingredients to make a carrot-miso-pasta recipe that my sister sent. It calls for white miso, and Jameson doesn't handle MSG well, and Whole Paycheck's ethnic foods often have much lower sodium than stuff at the Asian grocery stores.

After lunch I looked at the images of my guts. I could identify heart, lungs, and some intestines...and nothing else! Thrilling :p

Since I was out of bread I decided to make a loaf.
I chose a dinner roll recipe that someone said they'd successfully converted to loaf-form.
It's similar to a Japanese milk bread: tangzhong, milk, egg, bread flour, butter, sugar, salt, yeast.
I chose the Pullman pan this time in case the quantity of dough was too much for the regular bread pan.


Turned out pretty good! It shrank and crinkled on me a bit, so possibly overproofed, or maybe it's just another example of Florida's barometric pressure messing with things. Either way the crumb was satisfyingly chewy yet light, and it smelled super buttery. If I weren't slicing it up, this bread would do that "feathering" thing that pull-apart dinner rolls do. I bet this will make amazing toast!

Before bed my aunt called to check up on me.
I know I'm almost 40, but with my parents gone, it feels extra special and touching to have someone checking that I'm ok.
She did freak me out, though, by reminding me that the CT scan may not have found everything and the GI may recommend further procedures. Argh, I don't even want to think about it. Medical visits fill me with fear.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up freaking out because sometime in the night I developed a sore throat.
It's been feeling funny ever since we went to Boxi Park. Hoping that it's just a cold and not covid or anything. So far no other symptoms, so I'll see how it develops. But I am already freaking out about health stuff this week and really don't need anything additional to worry about :(

My stomach was perfectly normal at breakfast, so there's that.

Today I swept the pool deck, finished reading the latest installment of Saga, enjoyed my buttery bread with lunch, practiced trombone, and watched anime. It was too hot for outdoor activities.

For dinner I made us this recipe, which my sister had sent me a while back. It's pasta in a carrot miso sauce, topped with toasted panko and a carrot top/parsley gremolata (kind of like a pesto.) It's supposed to be vegan but I added a chicken breast.


Turned out very tasty, I really enjoyed the sauce and would have liked it as a soup also. It also seemed like the type of thing that could be modified easily; for example, adding a smoked chipotle for a southwest spin, or some nutritional yeast to make it more "cheesy". The chicken was too dry so that kind of ruined the dish unfortunately. Jameson thought the pasta + carrot sauce would be good as a casserole, topped with Ritz crackers, and I have to agree. If I make it again we're gonna do it that way.

Jameson was supposed to hang out with friends but they bailed on him, so we watched Insidious and Insidious 2 instead.
I can never take horror movies seriously, but this one was at least creative and had fewer plot holes than many others I've seen.

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Sunday, I definitely have some sort of head cold. But there's no cough, runny nose or fever, and minimal sneezing. My throat just feels and looks irritated, and my sinuses feel sore. Not sure what is up but glad it's minor.

Today's activities: drove to a shopping plaza for a Yankee Candle and walking sneakers; to the grocery for a few things; practiced the trombone for a scant 30 minutes; went for a neighborhood walk (cut short due to rain.) Jameson was out with some friends this afternoon, and he picked up dinner for us on the way home.

Next week's activities:

- Plumber coming tomorrow to fix the hot water in the guest bathroom
- GI doctor appointment Tuesday afternoon
- Party band rehearsal on Wednesday
- HelloFresh meal subscription starts up again
- Making "strawberry fluff" cookies
- Possible car repairs
- If I don't hear from the transcription job, resuming job applications
taz_39: (Default)
Monday, being the 3rd, I noticed that many of my friends had to work.

Well, Independence Day is only one day after all. Lame, but there it is.

I felt "ok" after breakfast--this is only my second day on the Prilosec and it can take four days to fully work--just had a little bit of cramping/burning when I ate raspberries, and after finishing my coffee (which I made weaker than usual and sipped slowly and carefully.) We will see how things are by Wednesday, and that will determine whether I'm doing a $$$$ CT scan.

After breakfast I decided to bake a loaf of bread.
I picked a SUPER simple recipe with only six ingredients and no Tangzhong method: flour, sugar, salt, water, butter, yeast.
Throw it all in a bowl and mix, then knead.

Let rise, bake. Voila, "a bread".


Turns out, I didn't have enough bread flour so had to use majority wheat flour.
As a result the loaf is a bit dense, but the crumb is nice and even. It also blew out the side a little bit, but that's ok.
The texture is more crumbly too because of the lower protein in wheat flour + no Tangzhong.
All of this was pretty much expected. It baked up nice and it's edible so it's a good first loaf after essentially two years of no baking.

And no matter how bread turns out, the house smells FANTASTIC afterward :)

Practiced some trombone but didn't take myself too seriously with it.
In the evening Jameson and I watched Evil Dead Rise. Jameson likes "hokey" horror but I'm not really into it other than to make snide comments about the usual tropes (car won't start, victims suddenly forget how to run away, etc). It was fun to watch, though, and there were some cute references to other great horror films.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Today is the 4th of July! Independence Day!

I don't care!

Not surprisingly, we are not feeling very patriotic. I'm sitting here with a mildly burning stomach knowing that if it doesn't magically resolve itself by tomorrow I'll have to get a costly out-of-pocket CT scan. OR I could ignore it and hope it isn't or doesn't become something serious. Because there is no ACTUAL HEALTH CARE for someone like me.

I'm wondering how much of these physical symptoms are being caused by pure anxiety and nerves.

Anyway, I am no longer incapacitated by my stomach cramping up, but I do still feel uncomfortable burning after breakfast, after dinner, and sometimes in the middle of the day too. The clinician said to schedule the CT "on Wednesday if you don't see improvement". I mean, there's SOME improvement?

We spent the 4th playing video games, reading books, swimming in the pool, talking, and making the Chicago dog baked potatoes with sweet corn. Well, I did that last bit anyway. They were tasty! It's just a baked potato with a Sabrett dog (or whatever you want to use), lettuce and tomato, pickles, sport peppers, celery salt, onion, and a honey mustard dressing. You can also add whatever condiments you want of course.


The sweet corn required the least effort and was soooooo good. It's been a long time since either of us have had it, and I don't know about Jameson but for me it brought nostalgia and was a good "memory food" for the 4th. And interestingly, none of this hurt my stomach at all.

At night our neighborhood erupted with fireworks. Someone was setting them off in the middle of the street outside our house, so I went out to watch a bit and applaud (applause = "I'm not here to be a bitchy Karen and call the cops"). We went to bed early because we both have long days tomorrow.

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(Blah blah disclaimer, this is all my own thought and opinion and does not reflect the views of Disney or any of it's affiliates, etc etc)

We were both up at 6am on Wednesday, Jameson to load in at the Dr. Phillips Center for Spamalot, and me to go to Disney Traditions!

I drove out to Disney University, which is just a big office building used for all sorts of training. There were a lot of people filing in, and everyone was greeted with Disney smiles. I felt bewildered by all the courtesy; I started to queue and then was called directly over (when was the last time a customer service person didn't scream, "I CAN HELP THE NEXT GUEST", but instead made eye contact and said, "Come over here and I'll get you started!" For me it's been a LONG time.)

I was whisked through sign-in, given a promotional bag for Disney's credit union, and found myself swept up in a little creek of humanity into a cafeteria, which is where we all waited to be called for our training sessions. It was quite noisy in there, mostly because a large group of African folks were being gathered and receiving instruction/doing call-and-response with a Disney castmember speaking an African language. I suspect they're part of Disney's Cultural Representative Program.

Soon enough we were called. My training group was huge, something like 60-70 people.
We sat at round tables and got bombarded with all sorts of information, all centered around Disney's "Five Keys": Safety, Courtesy, Inclusion, Show, and Efficiency. Inclusion is a new "key", and a much needed one for every employer out there, frankly.

As you might expect, we can't go into detail about what training is like and couldn't take pictures or anything like that.
I'll just say that it was a full 8-hour day, we covered a lot of information and our trainers were awesome. Both were from Pennsylvania so I was biased toward them anyway :p At one point we got to hop on a bus and visit Main Street, Magic Kingdom, and Tomorrowland, but it was ridiculously hot (heat index on the pavement was around 115°F!) and a storm was moving in so we were probably only out there for 30-40 minutes. Of special note is the fact that the "Disney Look"--Disney's dress code--has been loosened. You can now have visible arm tattoos, beards, longer hair, and some more costume flexibility. This is probably partially the result of COVID, and partially the result of Inclusion. Now people who have tattoos, or who look a certain way for a specific reason, may be able to apply to work, whereas before they could have been sort of passively excluded by the dress code requirements.

At the end of training, in rather dramatic and ceremonial fashion, we were presented with our name tags, followed shortly by our Castmember ID badges. Several people got emotional when receiving theirs; lots of people in this world dream of working for Disney, but it can be VERY difficult to actually get a job there in any department. I am proof of that. I've been applying to work for Disney, in every capacity from Custodial to Corporate, for twenty years.

And here it is. Proof that I am employed by Disney.


Even though I’m just a substitute musician, being a Disney employee is a goal I’ve had since I started playing the trombone.

Some people got here much faster, or advanced higher.
I got here in my own time, and I got here at all.

If I do get called to perform for Candlelight this Christmas, I will do my very best.
But whether I do or not, either way I am thrilled to have gotten this far.

After training I gathered my things and drove downtown to the Dr. Phillips Center, where Encore was loading in with Spamalot.
I was late, but the orchestra hadn't even tuned yet so it was all good.
Tootsie performed at the Dr. Phil last year. It felt odd to be in the pit again, with six or seven times the number of people crammed down there, and me on the opposite side. And I walked backstage and knew exactly where to go, and saw my name on the wall with the Tootsie tag. How strange.

The pit:


Sound check was fine but it was SO loud down there, by the time we got out I had a blazing headache.
Then I made a very poor choice and chugged half of a protein shake with my dose of Omeprazole for the night, and immediately had stomach cramps and nausea. To be clear, this was likely not from the shake itself, but from slamming it into an empty stomach with a medication that impedes digestion. The headache (which quickly became a painful and nausea-inducing migraine) also did not help. Which meant I spent the rest of my night on the floor with my eyes closed while Jameson watched The Office, then we went to bed early.

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Thursday, I got up early because I had another Disney training session.
I was happy to realize within the first few bites of breakfast that my stomach was not going to give me any trouble, but it did feel a little raw so I consciously made myself eat more slowly than usual (I DO tend to gulp down food at times and will need to work on unlearning that behavior.) Eating slowly, my stomach actually felt a lot better and I was able to finish a whole cup of coffee, which I haven't been able to do all week.

Packed a little nonperishable lunch and headed out around 9am.
This one was safety and PPE-based, and it was about four hours of safety and informational videos.

When that was over I had just about an hour at home to pack myself a dinner and take a breather before we had to head downtown for sound check and rehearsal. We were supposed to do a full run at 8pm, but for whatever reason Production dragged their feet so hard that we didn't even start until 9:30. The whole day was a lot of sitting around for me, between Disney PPE training and rehearsal.

By the time we got home and in bed it was 12:30. My stomach had been fine for the entire day, even after scarfing down my dinner at rehearsal without thinking.

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Friday, we both woke up slightly later than usual.
I felt fairly normal after eating breakfast, just a slight acidic feeling.

I've gone ahead and scheduled a CT scan for Tuesday, and a GI consultation for the following Tuesday.
Turns out the CT scan is only between $200-$300, which is a price I'm willing to pay out of pocket to make sure this isn't something serious.

Reminder that my mom discovered she had stage IV pancreatic cancer at the age of 42, and she was dead four months later.
I'm 39, and pancreatic cancer is NOT easy to catch. Even if this stomach-acid-thing is something minor or unrelated, this whole experience is an excuse to have a look in the abdominal area for ANYTHING unusual. So I'll take it.

Anyway, I decided to take a walk before lunch because it was 90°F with a heat index of 95°F, and while that's awfully uncomfortable it's probably the best we're going to see all week. On my walk I saw a Cooper's hawk, a turtle in a pond, and a white ibis who let me get very close because he was intent on hunting lizards in the newly-cut grass.

The rest of the day was calm and quiet until it was time for rehearsal.
It was a dress rehearsal with press and a small audience, so we wore our concert blacks.
Once again, everything was late late late so we didn't start the dress run until 9pm (it was supposed to start at 8pm).
I felt bad for the audience, but this is also typical of Encore so I think the late start wasn't totally unexpected.

We didn't get home until 1am, and my stomach was a bit of a wreck mainly because it was empty, but still nowhere near as bad as it was earlier in the week.

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Saturday morning, nice and rainy and dreary.
Despite it being the rainy season it's been pretty dry in this area, we really do need the rain, and the overcast skies are a blessed break from the sun and awful heat we've had all week.

After breakfast I went to the radiology place to get my contrast for the CT, then to the store for Prilosec and groceries.
Lunch, and a lot of nothing. It stayed overcast and a "cool" 90°F, and I found that soothing to the innermost parts of my soul.

We drove to the theatre for opening night, hours early in order to "run some things".
Once again Production was considered themselves to be the priority and trumped all of the time, so we verbally went over transitions and got to play through a few rough spots, but that was it before we had bow rehearsals for the actors and a group photo to take and finally the audience was let into the theatre.

I was surprised at how many people actually showed up. It was nearly a full house, even the balcony was partially sold!
Backstage, we had a cute gift of piles of candy along with a message from Clay (Director):


I played to the best of my ability in the cramped pit...the main obstacles that I have are 1) I CANNOT find good posture when we're packed in like sardines, and that makes is uncomfortable to play my instrument, 2) the cymbals are literally one inch from my left ear so I have to put notes in my book to put in an earplug at certain points in the show, which distracts from actually playing music, and 3) we are so cramped that it is difficult to reach my mutes when I need to, so I'm having to skip a lot of mute changes.

But no one in the audience knows about any of this, and they laughed and cheered and seemed to have a wonderful time (playing comedy shows is the BEST!) After the show I followed Jameson to the lobby so he could greet his friends, and as a result I overheard many people wishing the show were running for a full week, not just two days. I totally agree. The props and scene work are amazing, and everyone has been working so hard, only for it to end after two performances. Doesn't seem right.

Some pictures, for context (most are courtesy Encore):




A pic of Jameson and I with one of his friends post-show (I love her cute skirt!)


Jameson was down about his performance, and the overall fact that he doesn't take joy from working on these shows any more. Part of that is his own mindset (negativity and self-depreciation currently), but the other part is that he gets very little public recognition for the FOUR MONTHS of work that he's poured into this production. Clay's name is on the program as the director, Clay gets a great deal of credit and attention...and I'm not saying he doesn't deserve it, too. But it was Jameson, not Clay, who rehearsed the choir, rehearsed the orchestra, worked through cues and cuts and samples and tracking, for months and months, because Clay had to work (and yes Jameson was working full time while doing all of this as well.) As Jameson puts it, it's disappointing and disheartening. I would add "demeaning", to have to stand on the sidelines after putting in all of that work hoping for any kind of recognition, while Clay receives basically all of the media accolades. Clay is Jameson's good friend, and I wish for once that he'd remember to defer a large chunk of the credit to Jameson, not just verbally backstage but also in PUBLIC and in MEDIA STATEMENTS. But it's too late for that on this show, and this isn't the first time it's happened either.

I don't know. I just hate to see the person that I love disheartened, when he should be proud. Brushed aside, when he should be lifted up for all of the work that he's done. It seems very not right to me. And it put a big damper on the evening for both of us.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunday, we are back to scalding hot temps and full sun out there.
I am typing this up and arguing with myself about going for a walk. I SHOULD, but it's gonna be SO GROSS.

(She did not, in fact, go for a walk.)

I repotted a plant that I've been meaning to repot, and read Saga comics, and goofed off online.

When it was time for the show, we went.
It went well, though the audience was a bit smaller and personally I thought there were more mistakes than the previous night (this is what a lot of musicians call "the second show phenomenon".) Overall I thought it went really well, once again it was a good crowd and after the show there were many friends to greet in the audience. This time it was more people that I actually knew, so we had some good conversations and I really felt welcomed back to Orlando :)

It was "load out", so I waited while Jameson packed up his things and then we hauled it to the parking garage.
There will probably be a cast party but a date hasn't been announced yet.

And, that's it! Spamalot is done.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Now it's Monday, and I'm nervous, so my tummy hurts again.
Tomorrow I have the CT scan. Any medical procedure pretty much makes me nervous.
But it'll be good to get some answers.

I'm hoping for "You need to work on being less anxious" or "See that? That's an ulcer."
taz_39: (Default)
My flight on Monday was thankfully straightforward...though I very nearly had to check my trombone.

It was a full flight. I went to the gate as soon as there were agents (I always do this when I have to fly with my instrument.) I made puppy eyes, showed the trombone case, and said, "I'm going to try and bring this as carry-on. I'm showing it to you now so you won't be surprised by it later. This is my entire job in this case, and I would appreciate the opportunity to TRY and make it fit on the plane. If you have to check it after that, I completely understand, but I would like the opportunity to TRY, please."

This may sound silly or patronizing, but you would not believe how many gate agents FREAK OUT when presented with things that are an unusual size or shape during boarding, and will immediately refuse to allow the strange object as a carry-on. Letting them see it in advance, and ask whatever questions they may have or letting them advise me based on their situation, has been a lifesaver. I've not had to check my trombone once for the whole 18-month tour.

This agent seemed stressed and harried, so she sort of brushed me off and said, "You can try but we may have to check it."
"Great," I said. "That is all I could ask for. Thank you!"

And I ended up being one of the last to board, so the overheads were full and the agent tagged my trombone to be checked.
But as she was doing it she looked at me with apologetic eyes and said, "I really should have told you to board with the family groups. When you get to the plane ask if they will stow this in the closet up front."

So I did, and the stewardess was perfectly happy to shove my trombone in a closet up front along with some crutches and canes. I was so grateful! Trombones are not very valuable, but this specific trombone (An Earl Williams Model 6) IS rare and valuable as far as trombones go, plus it's got personal value to ME.

Anyway, that was the biggest "drama" of the flight. From there on I sat next to two lovely older ladies and watched a movie and a half, and we arrived 20 minutes early.

As soon as I got my luggage back I checked on the wine-sized bottle of sake from moto-i, which I'd wrapped in newspaper, then cold gel packs, then bubble wrap, then a Ziploc, then laundry. It not only survived, it was also still relatively cold! I was very impressed.

Then I hung around the airport waiting for Jameson. I was looking in all directions, knowing that he had to go through customs but not knowing which gate that was nearest. Two hours later I was feeling sleepy and was kind of staring off into space so he was able to get the jump on me! We hugged tightly and got to his car, stopping at Target on the way back for groceries. During the drive he told me all about his trip to Europe, what seeing Moulin Rouge was like (a huge production with lots of staging and moving parts) and how emotional it was for him to visit Freddie Mercury's house, which is not only where Freddie lived but also where he died. And the Cubs game, which was held in a huge Olympic stadium and where he met British baseball fans wearing all kinds of jerseys, not just the teams playing that day but representing any American teams that they liked. I found that adorable!

He was enthusiastic in the descriptions, and I think he really did have a wonderful time :)

Back home we unloaded the car and wolfed down our grocery store sushi, then Jameson got caught up on some office work while I unpacked and did a load of laundry. We were both exhausted and in bed by 10pm.

---------------------------------------------

Tuesday, I was up early for Disney onboarding.
My appointment wasn't until 10am but I like to center myself in the mornings with coffee and quiet time, so I was up at 7:30 to do that.

I showed up early to the appointment.
If you have never been to Disney's casting building it looks...well, kinda goofy.

(photo courtesy Saul Blinkoff)

The doorknobs, a la Alice In Wonderland:

(stock image)

Once inside there is a circular lobby that is empty in the middle, ringed with Disney characters on pedestals.
Surprisingly intimidating, like you're stepping into some temple or hallowed space. Or gaming lobby :p

(stock image)

The hallways are also long, a bit intimidating, and many of them are less "hallway" and more "ramp", which is convenient for those folks who don't do steps.


I have been here before, for orientation when I worked for Best Friends Pet Care (an affiliate) so I knew where to go. It was a room on the first floor that looks like you've stepped into a DMV, only definitely more cheerful and more efficient. I was greeted right away and spent 10 minutes filling out paperwork, then had my photo taken for an employee ID, then fingerprints which took significantly longer because I have cold dead fingertips and the reader is THERMAL.

Once that was done, a final check of my I-9, during which my apostrophe ("O'Malley") caused problems...although the apostrophe is present in all of my paperwork, the computer refused to pull up my file unless the apostrophe was removed. Welcome to my world, you non-apostrophe peoples :p

That was pretty much it. Now I wait a week while my stuff is processed, after which I'll get to do Disney Traditions, which is a day of training and introduction to the company, safety features, dress code, etc.
I'm looking forward to it! After all, it's been a long road getting here, even if I'm only a sub.

On the way home I stopped at the Publix near our house, specifically because they always have THE BEST peaches.
And there they were, a big pile of them! I can't wait to eat juicy, tart, sweet peaches EVERY DAY. Love them!


Back home I pulled out all of my storage bins and packed away my Tootsie souvenirs, simultaneously sorting for anything to take to thrift stores, simultaneously arranging the guest bedroom to be a work-from-home office. This really just entailed organizing office supplies in one of the dresser drawers, and emptying out a small cabinet in preparation for removing it if I end up getting a standing desk.

Then lunch, and wiping down the kitchen, and a quick dinner, and off Jameson and I went to Spamalot rehearsal!
I thought it went pretty well, considering I haven't played anything but Tootsie for the past two years!
My sightreading was not too bad. I struggled on some of the runs because the show needs to be played on a large bore trombone with a trigger, and that involves a different muscle memory pattern. But I was still playing the small bore trombone, because it's better to drop notes and still sound good, than to hit all the notes but be out of tune all night because you're playing an instrument you haven't touched in two years. Anyway no one complained, and there will be plenty of time to readjust to the larger trombone after these two rehearsals.

There is a tubist and two trumpets on this show, and I thought we all sounded GREAT considering it was our first rehearsal together.
The French horns were ok too I guess :p

Oh, and I wore this shirt that Jameson bought me from Royal Albert Hall!
It's the merch line for Anna Lapwood, the hall's organist.


----------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday, Jameson was up bright and early for his day of Disney Traditions.
I got up shortly after he left, had breakfast, and did my post-tour cleaning.
Vacuuming the house; going over the tile with a swiffer duster and then a swiffer mop; cleaning both bathrooms thoroughly; dusting most of the furniture; washing the sheets and hand towels. I was pleased at how well the shower has held up since I scrubbed it extra hard a month ago, but it does still need to be cleaned again. And later this week I want to weed the deck, wipe the dust from the fan blades, and do a deeper dusting of the baseboards and large bookshelf.

Anyway, when cleaning was done and lunch was eaten I popped over to Walmart for some ice cream and some cleaning tools.
And spent the rest of my afternoon worrying about employment.

I'm in a catch 22 right now, where I "could" reach out to the part-time nursing home transcription job that I had earlier in the year, and start retraining. But if I do that, and then my full time job kicks in, I could find that I no longer have time to accommodate the hours that the part time job needs, and unintentionally put them in a bind/waste their time.

For now my plan is to try and wait patiently until after July 4th. Everyone will be busy with the holiday anyway, no one will want to start training me during a holiday week, so I need to trust (ugh, TRUST) that things will work out and I'll have some sort of job before a month has gone by. Ugh, I HATE not working!!!

A storm blew through in the afternoon and I took a short nap.
Jameson was done around 4:30, came home and did some work, then we both went off to Spamalot rehearsal again.

It went pretty well, though Jameson was frustrated because he's been conducting the choir and orchestra for days while the actual conductor, Clay, has been out of town. And it seems that people were not taking his notes and changes, including Clay. I noticed this as well, because before the first rehearsal Jameson had given me all of the cuts and notes and changes, but sometimes Clay didn't incorporate those so we had to rehearse them.

Understand that this is a pro bono gig, the musicians are volunteering their time, no one is paid except maybe some creative team and some of the actors. So when there's not money involved, I think the attitudes toward the whole project can become casual...after all, it's "just for fun". When there's money involved, when people are getting paid to perform, generally they will take it more seriously. That's been my experience, anyway. Still, I think the majority (especially the actors and dancers!) are putting in a lot of work and doing a fantastic job! As we get closer to the performances, I think that things will tighten up, money or no.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

It's Thursday, and Jameson just left for another Disney training (this one is new and might be a musician-only course, he's going to fill me in when he get's back.) While he's gone I don't have much to do unfortunately...I'm going to try and hunt down a new Dr. Pepper ice cream put out by Blue Bell, and try to make some appointments, and definitely practice my Spamalot part on the trombone I'm SUPPOSED to be using.

There are many things that I want to cook for us, and many things that I want to do, but until Spamalot is over there won't be a lot of time for a slow dinner.
taz_39: (Default)

Plant update!

Jameson sent some more pictures on Sunday night.

The vanilla orchid has decided to go ahead and bloom without me T_T
That bud on the left there has bloomed already, which means the others are right behind it.


I told Jameson that if he remembers, he should try to stick his head out there to catch it blooming on Monday morning.
Vanilla flowers only bloom for one day, for a few hours, and then they wilt and die.

And this morning to my surprise, he sent another picture.
Turns out I was right, it DID bloom. And he got to see it!



He said he couldn't smell it (allergies) but I think the smell would have been faint anyway.
Vanilla orchids cannot pollinate themselves, although each flower does have pollen and a stamen.
And there is only one specific bee species on the planet capable of pollinating vanilla.
That, and the years-long process of curing the beans, is why vanilla is so dang expensive.

Here's a diagram of manual vanilla pollination, if you're interested. You literally have to rip the flower open.


I wasn't going to ask Jameson to do this.
Orchid bees do live in Florida, so there is a small possibility that one could have bumbled by and pollinated the flower.
But I won't hang my hat on it.
It's enough that we got flowers at all, after two years of waiting! That's incredible!

The bananas are looking good, they are noticeably larger anyway.


I badly wish that it would rain.
I sent Jameson some money for the water bill, along with another request to dump a bucket of water at the base of the tree.
Not to count my bananas before they're grown, but so far I want to make banana chips and banana ice cream for sure.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I got two hours of sleep last night I'd be surprised.
It's been difficult sleeping in this hotel anyway, but knowing I had to be up around 5am made falling asleep much harder!

Thankfully it was a direct flight to Fort Myers, but it was a pretty bumpy one so not fun for motion sick, panic-prone me.
But everything was ultimately fine, except my stupid nerves.
We got to the hotel WAY before 3pm so a lot of our rooms weren't clean yet, and many of us ended up waiting around.
After a while I walked to Jing Du Buffet because I love me a good China Buffet!



I "only" got these two plates, but the fun of a buffet for me is not in "getting my money's worth" by cramming quantities of food down my gullet, but rather in getting to eat like twenty different things at one time. This was a really good buffet within easy walking distance and it's going to be hard not to go back before the end of our week here.

When I got back rooms still weren't ready so I air-tromboned my audition music in the lobby and chatted with other cast and crew.
We eventually got keys around 3pm, and let me tell you guys something: the snooty, aesthetic-obsessed, 4-star Angad Arts hotel in St. Louis could learn something about cleanliness and functionality from humble old Crowne Plaza.

For the first time in a month--a MONTH!--I won't have to use an ironing board as a table.
There isn't dust pouring out of filthy air vents, or layers of human hair in the carpet, because someone here is ACTUALLY doing cleaning and maintenance. Bonus, the fridge works AND it's big. Gosh I'm so happy!

If there's one thing I've learned to loathe on tour, it's pretentious overpriced hotels that put aesthetics before basic human needs.
The Angad Arts offered color-themed rooms and modern art sculptures on the nightstands so that guests could "manifest an emotion" during their stay.

OMG you f*ckers, how about manifesting A TABLE.

TL;DR I appreciated this plain, functional hotel room very much!
I did my usual grocery shopping and found a few fun items, like sweet potato burgers and a blueberry lavender yogurt.
I'm taking a break from foodie explorations this week, so made sure to stock up on tasty healthy things :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tuesday, I felt simultaneously exhausted but well-rested if that makes any sense. Time changes and stress will do that.
I got a lovely confirmation email from the person who is letting me use a practice room in their building on Wednesday.
It'll be nice to get the recording over with and submit the audition! Excited and nervous about that :)

After breakfast I walked to Target because my deodorant broke and I'm at the end of my face wash too.
Partway there I got one of my "feelings" that I get...if you're an LJ Friend you might know what I'm referring to, it's embarrassing to explain but essentially it's something that occasionally "helps" me to find wildlife. Anyway I followed it off the sidewalk and into some bushes behind a shopping plaza, and found a mother Muscovy duck sitting on a crapload of eggs.

CLICK HERE for a short video

The duck:


The eggs:


I had any ability to candle these eggs, I probably would have done so and taken some to eat. Ah well.
It was cool to find her, although I felt bad that she got up and walked away from her eggs because of my interference (that said I was there for less than 30 seconds + Muscovy ducks are invasive anyway).

The theatre is about two miles away, which sounds close enough to walk but not in 92F hot humid rainy Florida weather in concert clothing. So we have rental cars, and the ride is only about 5 minutes. This theatre is a performing arts building on a college campus. It's rather small, but that's good because our show does better in smaller theatres.

Opening night went well, nothing to report.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday I had breakfast and did laundry, then nervously killed time before my audition recording at 1pm.

Kelly (the person running the studio) was awesome, cheerful and friendly and accommodating for what I was trying to do today.
She gave me this dance studio, which was perfect. Just a mid-sized room where I wouldn't be disturbed for an hour or two.


Of course setting up and recording took way longer than I expected, so I did use the whole allotted time.
Afterward I felt tense and flustered, so decided to volunteer for an errand for Molly (Stage Manager) who wanted local honey.
I know exactly where to find it: Florida citrus stalls. They ALWAYS have some, and in travel sizes too.

I got it at Sun Harvest Citrus. Normally I would have taken lots of photos, but me being flustered and it being very crowded in there, I wasn't focused enough to do it. Suffice to say they had piles and piles of citrus fruit, a fruit sample bar, a juice squeezing station where they were literally pressing orange, grapefruit, lemon, and other juices fresh for sale, and shelves full of touristy stuff like honey, jams, nick-knacks, and baked goods. They also sold ice cream made with the pressed juices and fruits.

I got her three sample-sized types of local honey (it was for allergies) and a tiny jar of coconut spread for myself (non-dairy, YES)


I started editing my videos but before I knew it it was showtime.
I felt impatient as we played the show, wanting to edit my clips and get it over with!
The pros of a recorded audition are that you can send your best takes; the cons are that making and editing those takes can take hours.
The pros of an in-person audition are that you get to meet people in-person, and the audition is over in minutes.
The cons are that you only get one shot in that short time, and it may not be your best shot.

No matter which type of audition I take, unless I did exceptionally well I tend to feel down on myself afterward, and this time was no exception.
But as I am always saying to Jameson, we can only do our best, and try, on any given day. So I have to accept that and be satisfied with that.

Jameson's audition was in-person, and he says it went well. I'm very happy for him! Like me, he struggles with self-worth, so the fact that he completed the audition AND it was a positive experience is a big win.

------------------------------------------------------------------

It's Thursday morning and I've uploaded my audition videos, and have already gotten confirmation that they were received.
Phew! Glad that's over with! Now to await results. I do not have my hopes up for a variety of reasons, but regardless I'm still grateful to have had the opportunity.

Today we will have two shows, then on Friday I'm looking forward to a mostly free day.
I have no plans here in Fort Myers other than to decompress a little; the past several cities have been activity-packed, and I could use a little bit of time to just be present.

Easy Come

Aug. 4th, 2022 08:46 pm
taz_39: (Default)
Woof, Monday.

I managed to sleep, though I woke up excited or anxious a few times due to Thing I Can't Discuss Yet.
After breakfast (which I barely tasted) I worked on data entry stuff while waiting for a phone call.
It came eventually, and then afterward a packet of audition materials which I downloaded right away.

At first glance I was intimidated by the audition materials.
There was a LOT, and some of it was for bass trombone which I haven't played for a decade.
But, fear is a good motivator.
I'm afraid of doing poorly; of ruining this opportunity; of rejection.
I fear that they'll watch my audition video and say, ugh, whose idea was it to contact HER?
I'm afraid that by NOT practicing bass trombone every day forever (even though I've only had one bass gig in my whole life) I've somehow ruined this entire chance.

But my motto is, fear is a terrible foundation for any decision.

I could choose NOT to take the audition. Problem solved! Fear avoided. And a lot less work too.
But avoiding "the hard part" out of fear means saddling yourself with a much heavier burden of guilt and regret and "what-ifs" later on.
No thanks!

So, today was spent in the spare bedroom working on the music.


I sounded like garbage of course, haven't played since the tour ended.
But I did my best, and the music was not as intimidating by the time I was done.

Jameson and I ate lunch and I did some more data entry, then back to practicing.

Dinner. I cleaned the bathrooms. Jameson went to rehearsal.
Back to practicing.

Jameson is going to help me set up for the recording aspect of things tomorrow.
My plan is not to "officially" record tomorrow, but I will record throughout the day on the off chance that I catch a good take.

Oh, also the slimes that I ordered from TikTok arrived today!
https://instagram.com/p/CgvRREis5bS

They are both awesome! They smell fantastic.
The Oreo one is for Jameson, he was both pleased and weirded out by the crunchy Oreo bits.
His slime smells just like cookies and cream! It was a bit runny, so I'll have to research what to do about that so he can handle it better.


Mine is Planet Drool, and it looks like a galaxy in a jar.


The one I originally wanted was similar and was called Northern Lights, but it sold out in a flash.
This one is still so cool! It was easier to handle than Jameson's and had all sorts of irridescent colors in it, and little silver rocket ships, UFOs, planets, and stars. It smells kind of like pineapple.
They'll just be fun to play with once in a while, maybe when we're feeling stressed.
And they're beautiful to look at.

If you're interested, the shop is called pilotslime and she restocks on a specific day each month, announced on IG or TikTok.

----------------------------------------------------

Tuesday. I slept poorly again because my brain likes to torment me with unrealized possibilities.
I got up at 8:30, resolved to record some good takes today so I can have a good night of sleep.
Maybe I'll even get the whole thing done, who knows.

Jameson had helped me set up a little amp in the spare bedroom, because this music is better played with accompaniment.
It was also storming like CRAZY last night, I was relieved when I heard Jameson's car pulling into the garage after rehearsal.
No one needed to be driving in that!
My friend donnad said there were 2 1/4 inches of rain over the course of I think two hours, and then it kept raining for a while after that.

Jameson had a car appointment and while he was out I managed to get like 80% of my excerpts recorded.
They're very not perfect, but unfortunately I don't have more than one additional day for nitpicking.
My Tootsie contract could come any day, so it was more important that I turn these materials around quickly.

I wish I sounded better. I wish I'd practiced during the break. I wish I had the whole week, instead of a few days.
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

After lunch I wrapped up the last few excerpts, then spent the next two hours editing video and uploading to YouTube (it shouldn't have taken that long but I'm an idiot when it comes to video editing). I wrote a nice email and dropped the link in there and sent it off.

Mission accomplished. Now I wait and see if anything changes, or if things stay the same.

--------------------------------------------------------

Woke up and had breakfast and got a nice rejection letter from Thing I Can't Discuss.

So, ok...it was an audition for the Broadway tour of Aladdin.

Lots of thoughts and emotions on getting rejected for this opportunity, but in the end it's no surprise.
(I've never won an audition.)
What was surprising was being asked to audition at all.
So I'm very grateful for that. Not many people can say they got the chance.

Could I have done better? Yes, with another week of practice; and if I had been more of a bass trombonist; and if maybe I hadn't been feeling the pressure of being partially committed to Tootsie. I might have done better.
But still, even then, would I have been good enough?

I doubt it.

Again, I'm incredibly grateful that the opportunity came.
But, for today, I couldn't help but feel disappointed and rather down on myself.

Well...I took my mopey self to Whole Paycheck to get the ingredients for shrimp po'boys tonight.
Usually I enjoy shopping at upscale groceries, but having wasted money on pins and slimes this week, and then having lost the audition, I was feeling pretty disappointed with myself. I just grabbed what I needed and got back home.

Made the marinade for the shrimp and two different aiolis, one for the po'boys and one for the sweet potato fries.
Packed breakfast and lunch for tomorrow's court reporting, and did as much data entry work as I could.

The whole time I was kind of flowing through a bunch of feelings and thoughts.
Eventually I settled on a perspective that I came across, cornily enough, on a TikTok.
It was someone who pointed out that the things that we consider "bad" or "failures" might seem bad in the moment, but could be necessary events in order for better things to happen later on in life.

I know, I know. The lies we tell ourselves, right? :p

But, thinking about it that way did put me in a better frame of mind.

Making the po'boys was easy.
Marinated the shrimp for 20 minutes in a blend of spices, lemon juice, sauces, and olive oil.
Grilled them using the grill pan. My recipe calls for them to be tossed in butter sauce after grilling but I don't like that addition, it's oily and flavorless. So instead I poured the marinade into a saucepan and thickened it with a little corn starch. It coated the shrimp nicely.


Toasted the rolls and spread them with the aioli, which was made with relish, capers, shallot, black pepper, mustard, Worchestershire, and a little hot sauce. Added the grilled shrimp.


Topped with shredded lettuce and tomato. Meanwhile I had sweet potato fries in the air fryer, they were done in minutes.
Served with a sriracha honey aioli dipping sauce.


After dinner, of course, ironically, I finally got my Tootsie contract.
But this also made me feel better.
I'm still musically wanted somewhere. I still get to go on tour and experience some exciting new things.
I still get to enjoy a few months of reasonable pay, and saving a little money.
I'm still disappointed. But grateful.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday, back to discount court reporting.

It was a wasted day. I got paid for two hearings and all the rest were no-shows. I like this job, but it is not sustainable and unless things have drastically changed when this tour is over I’ll not be coming back.

During breaks I went to Target, walked in a big circle around the SS building in the 100-degree heat, and commiserated with my sister Raven about rejection (she’s a writer so she gets it.)

I populated my Amazon shopping list with a handful of items for tour, some of which are needed and others that are just convenient.

Detergent sheets; face wash; travel-sized can opener = necessities.

A portable phone charger because of the one time I got trapped at a grocery in Memphis at night with 5% phone charge left and no Uber would come for me.

A vacuum-sealed container for my coffee because I have tried every cheaper option to no avail, and now I give up.

A resistance band because I know I’m too lazy to go to the gym but maybe not too lazy for 10 minutes of resistance each day.

A portable food scale, maybe. It’s not a necessity so I haven’t committed.

No court reporting for like four days, so here are some goals for the week:

- cook two meals
- sort through belongings and take things to thrift store
- write letter of resignation
- clean the shower (urgh boooo hate this chore)
- at least 15 hours of data entry work
- make coconut lime rumsicles!!

In closing...would you like to hear my audition?
There are lots of mistakes, especially on the larger trombone.
But anyway, this is a pretty normal way to send in an audition, in case you were curious.
They ALWAYS want a video to confirm it's you, and sometimes to see your technique.



taz_39: (Default)
Monday was pretty much covered in last post.

I finally finished the last episode of Stranger Things.
Went for a walk with Jameson.

--------------------------------------------------

Tuesday, waking up at 5am and having to eat that early is kind of a pain.
But if I don't eat there's no guarantee I'll have the chance again until at least noon if not later.
So, egg whites and oatmeal bread and peanut butter and raspberries and coffee.

Off to Alafaya. Past the coded door and to the foyer, where the two security guards and several hearing reporters (VHRs) were talking excitedly. This was the first day of in-person hearings since the pandemic started over two years ago, after all.

They were having sort of a huddle to check with each other about how things go for in-person.
Which really wasn't all that different from remote hearings.
Security Guard 1 was in charge of wanding people to death with a detection wand, checking bags, clearing folks for entry.
Security Guard 2 would then give them paperwork, most of which is a big questionnaire asking about covid symptoms and whether your address has changed, tedious things like that.
The VHRs would bring people back to the judge once the questionnaires were complete, and wipe down surfaces after everyone had left.

Seemed straightforward to me!

My trainer had me sign in, then went to make copies and while she was gone the judge came in.
A middle-aged guy who raised his eyebrows at me and said, "You're not Wanda...!"

I introduced myself. He seemed like a nice guy, and he definitely turned out to be.
Just super patient and chill no matter what fell in his lap throughout the day.
Which turned out to be two cancelled cases, two full cases, and one postponed case because the claimant decided partway through that they no longer wanted to represent themselves.

In between cases there was indeed time for a short lunch.
I ate, but between bites I worked on our end-of-day paperwork such that when the last case was over for the day, all we had to do was attach all the files and send the emails. Easy peasy.

I still left right at the worst possible rush-hour time, so didn't get home until after 6.
Some days will be like that. If your last case of the day is at 3:30 and it goes for an hour, then you have an hour's worth of paperwork, so be it.

Back home Jameson filled me in on his doings.
His follow-up was today, and they said he's doing great and should recover nicely.
They showed him the size of his mesh (it's almost a brick-sized rectangle, much bigger than we thought!) and explained what each of the incisions had been for. Three were for manipulating tools, one was for a camera, and the one at his belly button was where they pulled the mesh in. Crazy to think about, and awesome too.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday, I got up early for a dentist appointment.
My dentist is downtown so it was quite a drive, but I used it as an excuse to visit the Asian grocery in that area as well.

My teeth!


Everything was fine but they did push cosmetic adjustments a little strongly this time.
Yes, I know I have horse teeth, people. But fixing that shit ain't cheap. I'll think about it but that's likely as far as it will go.

At the iFresh, which is the name of our Asian grocery here in Orlando, I was pleased to see they've gotten that baby bottle yogurt milk.
Everyone should experience it once!

As always there were so very many things that I wanted.
These canned milks had such cute graphics! I wanted them all. But they were ridiculously high in sugar plus contained milk powder, which is a big no-no for lactose intolerant people who don't want to be up all night. So I had to pass them by.


Other wishful thinking items included canned quail eggs, salted preserved duck egg yolks, and a bag of cream-flavored sunflower seeds (what does that even MEAN?).

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taz_39: (Default)




**Disclaimer: The content of this post reflects my own personal views, opinions, and experiences.
This post does NOT express the views or opinions of my employer.**

Note:
Due to an ongoing family emergency, there are times where I may post less regularly or with less content.
Thank you for your understanding.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The venue: Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts


(stock photos)

Covid Tests to Date: 15
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday seemed to take FOREVER. I just wanted to see my boyfriend!!

But we had to wait until noon for the bus, and then the bus ride involved a bathroom break, and some traffic, and also driving past the exit to Jameson's house, lol. Then getting to the hotel, unloading, and finding an Uber to take me the 40 minutes home. Jameson could have come to get me but that would be almost 90 minutes round trip, and he had a LOT of work on his plate this week.

Finally I barged into the door, spilling luggage everywhere and squeezing my boyfriend. YAY!!!
The last time I saw him, he was in a lot of pain and discomfort.
Today he looked tired, but GOOD. Better. Healthy. I'm SO glad. So so so so glad, beyond what I can describe.
It's been a very hard month, for both of us. I was just glad that one thing at least has gone right, and that's the fact that we're both OK.

We got caught up on this and that--we've been texting of course, but some things are better in person.
We ordered dinner (and got someone else's order somehow, had a good laugh over that) and watched Holiday Baking Championship and Great British Baking Show. I watered my indoor plants and vacuumed, did a load of laundry, switched some things out from my luggage, and riffled through my mail. All of it was spam except the packages: I got some silicone booties to put over my sneakers for when it rains, a black long-sleeved shirt for layering, and three graphic T's because it's been a DIFFICULT month and they've been on my wishlist for over two years now.

The things I switched out from my luggage were my tortilla blanket (I love it but it takes up too much space for how little I use it), a few shirts (I plan to swap shirts on every break to keep from wearing them all out), some jeans (too bulky, getting yoga pants instead), my over-ear headphones (no roommate = I never use them), and the programs and other little scraps of paper I've collected so far. Other than that, I've been happy with everything I've brought with me on tour. Everything serves a purpose, and everything has been useful. Good job, me!

I found my trombone stand and "snake" (a cleaning tool) which I will bring to the theatre and store in the band box.
Then I went to the grocery for a few food items for the week, followed by an attempt to find yoga pants at Target (failure) and a trip to Skechers for some black sneakers because it seems those are acceptable in the pit and currently I only have one pair of black shoes. Tomorrow I will do some cleaning, try Walmart and Ross Dress for Less for the yoga pants, and then hopefully still have a little time to relax before the evening show.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tuesday, I woke up excited to enjoy a day at home!
First I made breakfast, which was nice.
Then I decided to check on my plants. Surprises awaited me!

The biggest surprise was the roselle plant, otherwise known as "Florida cranberry" or "Jamaican sorrel".
When I planted it, it was a tiny cutting about a foot tall.
Now it is a sort of TREE or SHRUB, with a huge thick trunk!
Apparently it must have bloomed while I was gone, because it is covered in juicy red calyces!




This plant is called "Florida cranberry" for a reason: the calyces have a flavor similar to cranberry or rhubarb, and can be used in all of the same ways you would use cranberries. This plant is covered in lots of big fat calyces...will I have time to make use of them before the week is over? Perhaps I could whip up a jam really quick!

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**Disclaimer: The content of this post reflects my own personal views, opinions, and experiences.
This post does NOT express the views or opinions of my employer.**

I woke up in the hotel in Buffalo, a little confused about where the heck I was.
I'd been dreaming that someone stole my trombones (this has been an ongoing theme lately) and I was trying to get them back. Yay stress dreams.

Our rehearsal was delayed by about an hour, so we were meeting at 11 instead of 10.
This was actually convenient for me to run one small errand, although I'd have to get an Uber to do it.
I scheduled the Uber for 9:50, got dressed, and went to find breakfast.

Hotel breakfast was very nice, the usual stuff: oatmeal or cereals, misc fruit and coffee and a waffle machine and whatnot.
I got myself some oatmeal and coffee, but brought it back up to my room to have with the Greek yogurt I'd bought yesterday.
At some point I'll want to make my own breakfasts, certainly not all hotels provide meals. But for now, oatmeal is oatmeal no matter who makes it so I may as well eat theirs. And as for coffee, hotel coffee can be nice sometimes too :)

After breakfast I just kinda hung out until it was time for my errand.
Chatted with the Uber driver on the way. It was only a mile and a half, and normally I would have walked it, but because this was so close to rehearsal time I wanted to play it safe.

After just a few minutes, we arrived!



This is BreadHive! It's an employee-owned co-op, meaning the owners work in the store each day and every employee has the potential to become an owner. They currently have eight owners, and it's also possible to invest in their bakery (don't ask me how, this seems complicated)

Whatever they're doing seems to be working, I mean look at that bread!
They only have fresh-baked bread available starting at 10am, which is when our rehearsals usually start. Which is why when our first rehearsal was conveniently delayed, I realized this would be my best chance to get fresh, local bread to enjoy this week!
Hence the special trip and the Uber.

I'd placed my order in advance, and got a "westside sourdough" and a soft sourdough pretzel.





Back at the hotel I cut the loaf in half (mutilated it! Should probably get a bread knife) and put half of it in the freezer, and the pretzel in a ziploc.
Then it was off to rehearsal.
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taz_39: (Default)
...(cont'd from 9/24)

Sorry everyone, I forgot that this was scheduled to post on 9/24 and not 9/25, so the entry went up unfinished.

After lunch on Friday I went back to the grocery for some things for Jameson, then came home and "deep-dusted" the house. Deep dusting involves actually taking stuff OUT of the bookshelves, like really going at it and dusting areas that I normally skip due to inconvenience. I want the house as clean as possible before I have to go, so Jameson can enjoy at least a week or two of a clean house before he doesn't clean for the next two months -_-.

I put the clean sheets back on the bed, folded my laundry, and vacuumed crumbs from under the counch cushions.
For dinner we had leftover manicotti and an episode of Great British Bake-Off.
Then I mixed together the banana pudding for tomorrow's dinner, then I tried to practice trombone but was again thwarted because MORE of my music looks wrong! Well, maybe not wrong, but "different", and the parts are labeled differently. I think what happened is, someone got confused between the original show music (which does call for bass trombone and which has different cuts) and the TOUR show music, and copied the wrong stuff into the wrong folder. Or something.

None of this is actually a problem right now. Nothing is going to be so drastically different that I won't be able to handle the changes if they're dropped on me in the first rehearsal. The main issues are that we don't want someone printing off the wrong parts too, so that the majority of my music is wrong at rehearsal. And there's also one piece in the updated folder that now calls for a harmon mute, which is a pretty large mute, and at this late date I'd have to either squeeze it into my luggage or overnight it.

Anyway, I emailed the music coordination team about it, and they've been so super responsive despite the fact that they've GOT to be insanely busy right now. If I don't hear from them, I'll just bring the mute and sacrifice some socks or something to make room for it.

Before going to bed I rescheduled my covid test for Monday instead of Sunday.
We're supposed to get the test done "Within 72 hours of travel, no earlier".
I had scheduled mine for 9/26 at noon. 72 hours from that is BEFORE my flight takes off. I don't want to risk a technicality; I rescheduled it for 9/27, same day as Jameson's urologist appointment, but earlier so I'll still be available to help him if needed.

Anyway that's the rest of that blog post that I forgot to add.
taz_39: (Default)
The crazy events of Saturday left me reeling. And I'm not even the one with the kidney stone.

First thing Sunday morning after making sure Jameson was still alive (he had a terribly rough night), I unpacked the new computer and got to work setting everything up. It only took about an hour because so much is stored in the ether any more.

After lunch I reinstalled my steno software and got it to recognize my machine, then did a little steno practice.
I should have done tests, but tbh even though I'M not the one who's sick, I'm terribly worried about Jameson and way too stressed and distracted with all that's going on. It's hard for me to even think about packing. What if he's not better by the time it's time for me to go? What should I do then??

Trying to wait until we get to that bridge to cross it.

After steno, some trombone practice. I didn't run through the show but instead focused on some trouble spots, playing them slowly and then faster and up to tempo. Around that time I also got a link to a new tour website, where I'll be able to access the route sheets for each city and see important info about how to get into each theater, where laundromats are, where buses will pick us up, etc.

For a while Jameson seemed to be better and was thinking about trying to perform with his band tonight, but shortly thereafter he took a turn. That's the problem with kidney stones, you have no control over the pain. Every time the stone shifts, agony. I had planned to make manicotti for dinner but am worried the smell might make him nauseous, plus he won't want to eat much until this stone is out. It'll probably be very simple food around here for at least a few days.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday, I am still waking up at 6:30, my body all confused about whether it's time for work.
Careful not to wake Jameson, I made myself breakfast and did a little goofing off online.

The bedroom door popped open, and Jameson came prancing out. Yes, PRANCING.
Although the kidney stone isn't out yet, it has shifted somewhere (probably his bladder) where it's causing much less pain.
That's great! I'm so freaking glad!! I'm a worst-case-scenario kind of person, and it has been very scary to see him in so much pain.
It's not over yet, but this is progress.

After breakfast I took myself back to Best Buy to see about replacing the hard drive for my old computer.
Unfortunately the Geek Squad counter was PACKED with the 55+ crowd. Not sure if a senior living bus had come through this morning or if that was just the demographic of the hour, but either way I wasn't going to be able to see anyone that day. I made an appointment to come back tomorrow, picked up a new wireless mouse for my new computer, and left.

Next stop was the car detailing place, where I didn't get a full-on detail but rather just a very thorough vacuuming + car wash.
I vacuum my car myself, but there are places that I can't reach with the vacuum I have.

Then to the thrift store to drop off a bag of donations, then to the grocery for some things I'd forgotten earlier in the week.

Back home I ate lunch, practiced trombone for a bit, made an appointment for my rapid covid test, and wrote some emails to friends and family. I was supposed to clean the lanai but wasn't really feeling it, so had a beer instead (I drink beer very rarely, but we have a lot right now so I'm doing my part.) The beer was nice, but surprisingly having a nice buzz was just the motivation I needed to clean the lanai after all. As I was scrubbing, Jameson came out to let me know he was leaving for his Epcot gig. Hopefully he'll pull through it all right!

The lanai took about 90 minutes, here is the before:



And here is the after:


I went back inside, got a shower, had dinner and a big giant glass of water, ice cream for dessert.
My steno class had been cancelled because my teacher has some issues of her own to deal with (what is it with this week?) so I took a little time to myself to watch some YouTube before doing about an hour of steno.

Jameson came home and seemed fine, but as the night wore on it became apparent that something was wrong: he was unable to urinate. So back to the ER, I didn't go with him but hung back in case they decided to admit him, in which case I figured it might be good to be able to gather things at the house for us. I made up two hospital bags, and waited. Jameson got a catheter, some morphine, and a prescription for something for bladder spasms, then was sent back home around 3am.

I just want this to be over for him. If it's stressful for me, I can't imagine being the one actually suffering the pain.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tuesday, I felt so stressed. Jameson at least is not in pain, just uncomfortable.
I spent my morning trying to get him a urology appointment. God DAMN our health care system. Everyone had a different excuse not to take him. One place had no openings until November. Another complained that he'd have to take the catheter out because AdventHealth had put it in and that was "a liability". Another insisted on having his scans before making an appointment, and another said he'd have to have the catheter in for at least a week before he could be seen. I was on the verge of tears by that last call. How the hell do people get appointments? Is there a secret code word? Because having a medical emergency and an ER referral apparently isn't enough!!

The final receptionist that I spoke to had pity, because she did at least manage to make us an appointment for Monday afternoon. It's double booked, I'm not sure what that means for Jameson but if he can even just get the imaging to the urologist maybe he can get some help. A week later.

These are the times that I get really, really livid about paying thousands of dollars into SS and Medicare so that other people can get medical care, but not me, not us. I'm sure it's all more complex than that, but I can't help but feel angry when someone I care about needs help and can't get that help.

Anyway, after I managed to get the one appointment, I ran to Walgreens to get Jameson's prescription. By the time I got home he was pretty much awake, and not surprisingly irritated about having to wear a catheter for an entire week. The ER had told him to be seen in the next 48 hours.

I wanted to distract myself, so practiced steno for about an hour. The semester ends this week and I only have two tests available to take. I was tempted to just take them and fail them and be done. The pressure at this point is just too much. If I don't pass both of the tests, I will have to take the 100wpm class for a third semester, and on a machine I'm not familiar with, while in rehearsals for tour. It's just too G-D much right now. I didn't take the tests yet, but I will by Friday. I don't think it's possible to pass, but I'll just do my best and watch the money leave my bank account. It's that or quit...and while quitting is a legitimate option, I'm not ready to make that decision yet.

After lunch I rescheduled my covid test appointment based on Jameson's appointment. Then I drove over to a local arts school, where I had rented a practice room for the day. Actually it was a little recording booth.

Practice was "ok". I ran through the whole show (not the dialogue parts) with mute changes and using my bluetooth pedal. I also worked on the bebop solo in the entr'acte a few times, and while it wasn't as good as I'd like I think it's "passing" for starting rehearsals.
I. Hate. Improv.

On the way home I picked up Target sushi for dinner. Jameson was talking to his parents when I got back. When they were done catching up we ate dinner together while watching Halloween Wars.

So now we wait some more.
I should be excited about going on tour, but after the past several days I'm afraid to think or breathe.
I'm going to keep acting like everything will be ok but I just don't know what's going to happen with any of this.
It's too much going on at once.
taz_39: (Default)
My last entry got double-posted and I had to delete one copy, so some of your comments are gone now. Sorry :/

This week is craaaazy.

I'm having my last few days at work, and that's one area of life where there's just not a lot to do, so I do what I can and try to kill time the rest of the time.

I've completed a spreadsheet of grocery stores, restaurants, and points of interest around each theater on tour.
It definitely doesn't encompass everything, and I won't get to do everything on the list either.
But it's a good quick reference in case I find that there's limited time to explore in a city.

Other than that my focus has been on the prep for making soft pretzels and caramels for my coworkers.
It is going to take up most of my weekend for sure.
I'm super nervous about it for several reasons, mainly that I've never made so much bread at once before, I've never worked with a caustic chemical like lye before, and I've never made pretzels before.

To kind of mitigate my nervousness I first tried asking a few questions about lye dilution and safety on my facebook bread baking group.
Big mistake.

"Well if you're so worried, why don't you just use baking soda?"
(times five, because multiple people felt the need to share this bit of wisdom one after the other waaaay after it had already been said and I had already given perfectly legitimate reasons for not using baking soda)

"The dilution in your recipe is wrong (said about a King Arthur Flour recipe). You need to do it MY way because *I* do it this way ALL the time and MY pretzels are PERFECT".
Followed by umpteen pictures of THEIR pretzels.

"If you're not experienced enough to be making pretzels then maybe you shouldn't be making them."
Wow really?

You get the idea. Never, ever ask questions on facebook unless you want to be beaten bloody with peanut gallery criticisms and commentary about everything EXCEPT what you actually asked about.

One kind soul actually did respond to say that she makes pretzels frequently, and has no problem with handling lye as long as gloves and eye protection are worn. No fumes either at the dilution required for pretzels. This was great to hear, I had been really worried about fumes. I thanked her in a PM and then deleted the pretzel post because I don't need to keep hearing about how I'm not making pretzels the way other people want me to make them.

Listen, if someone will buy me all of the ingredients, I'll make the pretzels however they'd like.

As I was still nervous, I did a lot of my own research and then finally sent a message to the person who'd written the pretzel recipe I'm using. Fortunately for me they are a kind, responsive human being who wrote back explaining and clarifying many steps of the process. I'm still a bit nervous, but at a more normal "doing-this-for-the-first-time" level. Getting reassurance from someone who has done this before was just what I needed. I'm grateful.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Sunday Jameson took us to Universal Horror Nights!


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Every time I stop to think about what I need to do before the end of the month, the list seems overwhelming.
But then when I REALLY think about it, it's not. It's just a LONG list, of a lot of things, that actually don't take that much time or effort.

I tried to do some of those things this weekend and found that I was trying too early.

Hair appointment: a week too early for booking.
Car detailing appointment: at least a week too early too.
Covid rapid test for the day before I leave: FAR too early, I can only book that a few days in advance.

So I tried to take a step back and focus on what I can do NOW.

Like use up some of what's in the fridge and freezer.
I bought this weird "sourdough yeast" a while back and wanted to give it a try.
"No more finicky starters!" it claimed boldly. "Simply add to your favorite bread recipe!"

Well, ok. I chose an easy no-knead recipe and gave it a shot, following the recipe exactly and adding the yeast as instructed.
What I got was a wet blob of dough that was insanely unmanageable, followed shortly by a flat dense loaf of bread that was gummy inside and somehow completely flavorless (I am 100% certain that I added salt, sugar, and walnut oil). It was not even remotely close to sourdough in texture or flavor. And the yeast was still perfectly fresh, the dough rose just like it was supposed to. I have no idea why it turned out so badly, other than maybe it was just a bad recipe in general?

Eh, whatever. I was disappointed, but the nice thing about messing up bread is you've really only lost the time.
The ingredients usually amount to like $2 worth of stuff going in the trash.

After that I decided to finally attack my basil bush, poor thing.

The amount of basil on that plant was amazing. Bananas for scale.



Deconstructing that took probably 30 minutes, but I finally ended up with a big bowl of fresh leaves.
I didn't have enough pine nuts so subbed in some toasted sunflower seeds, and that was a really nice flavor.
Add to that some garlic and olive oil and lemon juice and parm, and I had a big giant jar of pesto which will live in the freezer until I can address it after this tour.



Next I spent 45 minutes completing anti-harrassment training for my new employer.
Then I allowed myself the luxury of looking up some of the hotels we'll be staying in on tour.



Read more... )

Here is a summary of what I did this weekend (two days, Wednesday and Thursday):

- Made no-knead bread (epic fail)
- Cut down my basil plant
- Made pesto
- Made dinner on Wednesday
- Went grocery shopping
- Ran the dishwasher
- Vacuumed
- Took the recycling out
- Took the trash out
- Completed anti-harassment training
- Went to steno class
- Practiced steno (x2, once each day)
- Practiced trombone (x2, once each day)
- Emailed show ticket information to family
- Researched hair appointments
- Researched car detaling locations and appointments
- Researched rapid covid test availability and appointments
- Researched tour hotels
- Made Japanese milk bread
- Meal prep for the week
- Tried to book practice rooms (epic fail)
- Emptied the large planter, washed and stored it
- Swept and weeded some of the pool patio
- Cleaned the shower
- Prepped lunch and work clothing

...I think that's it.

Gosh, I'm such a lazy entitled millennial! Spent the whole day staring at my phone making TikToks!
taz_39: (Default)
...it's the end of August already.

After a 10-hour drive to get back to Florida, I frantically unpacked and did laundry and cleaned the bathrooms and watered the plants and packed a lunch and prepped for work. That was pretty much the evening, that and catching up with Jameson.

Then it was right back into the work week.

They have already taken my team away from me.
I came in to find out that all of my captionists have been reassigned. Which is good, I mean they would have been reassigned anyway.
I guess I thought they'd wait until I was closer to leaving to scatter them to the winds, though.
Well, I made sure to meet with each of them and tell them they'd be on a new team soon.
Some were surprised, some could care less.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's really not much to say about the "work week". It was only three days long because of my visit with my aunt.

On Monday, steno class was ended at 7pm for an "assembly".
That just goes to show that some things are meant to be: I had a TOOTSIE production meeting/orientation at 7pm the same day. So I lost no class time, conveniently.

The meeting was very informative, plus I got to see a lot of the people who will be my coworkers and traveling companions as we all popped into the zoom meeting.

The majority of the meeting had to do with company policies regarding covid, anti-racism, covid, anti-discrimination, covid, sensitivity training, media training...and covid.

All pretty normal for 2021.

The main takeaways for me were:

  • Any trip over 500 miles is likely to be done via plane. That is somewhat more plane time than I had expected. On one hand I'm glad because we'll get to each city faster and I'll get more comfortable with flying. On the other hand I'm bummed because I'll still have to pack very lightly most of the time, and at the moment I still dislike flying and will have to get over that. Gotta say though, now that I know this, I'm really glad I signed myself up for PreCheck.


  • By the end of this tour I will be very used to having a swab stuck up my nose. Not only do we need to be vaccinated, we will also have to complete a rapid test basically every week. Welcome to the new normal!


  • There are absolute loads of covid provisions and guidelines that we will be following. I was really impressed at how thorough and thoughtful this company has been about protecting everyone.


  • We will still be allowed to visit with friends and family in each city. We're just asked to be responsible and use good judgement. Yay!

In coming weeks we will hopefully continue to get info and training sessions and who knows what else.

Exciting!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My work week ended with working from home on a computer that was lagging like 90's dial-up for no apparent reason. I did manage to complete my work, but not to the usual standard, which was very annoying. I also managed to do some chores and get in an hour of trombone practice, 30 minutes of steno, and reading through some of the information packets we got during the meeting. I got some groceries, but forgot pine nuts for the pesto (it's a rule, I gotta forget one thing and make a wasted trip the next day. Sigh.) We had Bento for dinner, ice cream for dessert, and a few hours to relax.

I feel a lot of pressure to get things done this weekend, but there is still, STILL plenty of time.
Wednesday I plan to make "faux sourdough"--I'll explain this later--and the pesto, then for dinner I'll cook the homemade gnocchi that I made several months ago and that has been languishing in the freezer. To be served fried in sage butter sauce with peas and lemon chicken.

I'll still have steno class that evening, and after that Jameson has rehearsal and I'll practice trombone.

On Thursday I want to empty my large planter and do a little cleaning on the pool patio, and possibly clean the shower too if I'm not too tired. And of course, steno and trombone practice.

There's still loads to do: get my car cleaned for storage, change my car insurance, make a haircut appointment, complete more tour paperwork, look into rapid tests available in Florida, reserve some practice rooms so I can really make a racket. And more.

One thing at a time, and it'll all get done.

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