goofball on a train

Thursday, my stress levels were pretty high despite having most of the day free.

( CLICK HERE for Stress Things )

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Other than that, all I did was work on my court reporting modules, pack, and walk to a Goodwill (which turned out to be a waste of time as they didn't have fitting rooms, I hate that!! But at least I got some fresh air.) I was feeling low energy, not only depressed but also a stomach ache (stress!), so took a nap and only got up when it was time to make dinner.

At the theatre, we had our final show in Yakima. It was well-attended, and tonight's Cute Audience Moment was when Pickering declared, "Mr. Higgins will miss her? BLAST Mr. Higgins! I'LL miss her." The whole audience in unison did a soft, "Awww!" that was just adorable :)

And then, like, that was it. We packed up and loaded out. Seven more shows to go.


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Friday, up at 5:30am after barely any sleep, and a smaller-than-usual breakfast to try and keep my guts and tummy calm for the six-hour bus ride ahead.

We took off and I was fine, dozing for part of the way but my eyes popping open as the scenery got more and more awesome. Starting with rolling green hills covered in farmland and moss and budding trees:



Then these huge cliffs and rock formations, and Mount Rainier in the distance (I couldn't get a clear pic from the bus.)
We were riding along the river that is the border for Washington and Oregon, and it was quite beautiful.

Pics:





Video (CLICK HERE to watch)

We stopped for lunch in Portland, which looked like a fun city, too bad we don't get to visit :/
Then as we got closer to Eugene everything was so GREEN. And there were so many SHEEP.


We arrived a bit early, but for the most part rooms were ready. There were just about two hours before sound check so I unpacked and scooted over to Bao Bao House. Inside, no one spoke much English and there was handmade bao being constructed. Both very good signs.


I ordered some char siu bao, some walnut brown sugar biscuits, and some anchovy peanut appetizers. All of the buns/biscuits were made fresh and came out scalding hot, to the point where they steamed the containing bag haha. The anchovy peanut snack had been made prior, I could tell because it was cold.

Peanuts and dried anchovies, stir-fried with sesame oil and chili flakes. This was very good: not too salty, not fishy-tasting or -smelling, nor overly spicy. Just good flavors, crunchy peanuts, and the anchovies were kind of chewy AND crunchy. I liked it a lot!


The walnut brown sugar "biscuits" were like a pan-fried doughnut with chopped walnuts and brown sugar filling. Extremely good, crispy on the outside and soft and sweet on the inside. I had to get a whole order of 5 so brought them with me to the theatre to share with everyone. (I brought the anchovies too but shockingly, no one wanted that :p )


The char siu bao, of course, were fantastic. Ate two for dinner and will eat two for another meal.

The theatre is pretty interesting-looking. The ceiling looks like a woven basket...or a lawn chair, or something.


Once again I can't see the stage, ah well. That's normal!
It was a good opening night audience. We didn't get back to the hotel until nearly midnight, and then I was up too late reading an unfortunate article about sexual misconduct in the NY Phil. It was interesting to see my male colleagues surprised to hear this story and acting like it's breaking news...meanwhile most female musicians have known about this incident since it happened back in 2010 or 2011. How STRANGE that this is such a SURPRISE to the MEN.

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Saturday I woke up extremely tired and stressed. Too much to do and too little time.

I started laundry and ate breakfast, typed up this blog, then got to work on an application that I'm doing in the hopes of protecting myself against failing the AAERT exam. It was intimidating and frustrating, but I stubbornly plugged away and by the time 10am rolled around I'd gotten about 1/3 of it done. It looked extra-dreary outside but I was INSISTENT on seeing at least one tiny slice of Eugene...I am so annoyed that we don't get more time here! So I Ubered downtown.

A mural that I loved by local artist Liza Mana Burns.


My first stop was a small "hippie grocery" called Kiva Grocery. They were VERY small, and didn't have really anything that I needed, but I found chocolates from Seattle and a pouch of canned tuna that was caught and hand-packaged literally by one local family of fisherpeople. The big draw at this tiny grocery was the HUGE bulk section.


From there I walked to Whole Paycheck and had lunch at the hot bar, got a few things for meals, then walked to the theatre...in the absolute pouring rain. I had planned to visit Eugene's Saturday Farmer's Market, and it looked like a huge and fun affair with loads of vendors selling everything from veggies to bongs to murals, just everything, but the rain got harder and harder and it was cold to boot, and I was carrying groceries, and after struggling past a few stalls I gave up and practically ran to the theatre. I was early so at least there was time to get myself from "soaked" to "damp" before the show started.

The show went well. It was Michael (our assistant MD's) last time conducting, and he did a great job.
Between shows I went back to the hotel to shower, put away groceries, eat dinner, and work on the transcription evaluation some more (yeah that's what it is, I should have said that earlier.) I went faster this time; once all of the case info is plugged in things are easier, and making progress made me feel more confident. Typing things out verbatim is something that I enjoy, weirdly.

The evening show was also fine, though we were all very tired and some note mistakes were made.

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Sunday, I woke up a bit late, but then finished the transcription evaluation and after combing it a zillion times for mistakes, sent it in. There are some things that I'm unsure if I did correctly, but I'm hoping that I did well enough to receive consideration. And if not, it just means going ahead with the plan I'd already initiated.

The break between shows was not very long so I packed dinner to bring to the theatre.
The first show was good but had scant attendance. Between shows I tried to work on my court reporting modules but the theatre's wifi had a "nanny," some sort of annoying content-blocker that for some reason designated the site I needed to use as spam. I was able to get in sporadically through rapid-refreshing, but it was too annoying and I had to give up after a while. Tried to work on this blog too but of course it's a RUSSIAN site so it was ALSO blocked. Tried to watch anime but THAT was blocked too. I MISS THE 90's AND THE WILD WEST INTERNET.

Well, soon it was time for our last show in Eugene and our last day of double shows, ever.
It was packed, which was great, and it was a vibrant and responsive audience.

Again, I really wish we'd had more time here, to get to know the city. Perhaps some day I'll get to come back.


(this amazing photo courtesy Aaron, one of our sound techs.)
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We are flying to Modesto tomorrow, and it's a late flight so I'll get to sleep in a bit and take my time in the morning.
And work on court reporting modules.

In Modesto I don't really have any plans. We are only there for two days, and then tour is over.
If we arrive early enough I'll enjoy a trip to Sprouts for some groceries, but there are no more Foodie Finds for me.
We'll have our closing show party, and pack our bags, and that will be that. Chapter closed.

Let's do it.

Thursday was a total wash.

The morning was spent nervously waiting for my new boss at my new court reporting job to call, then when he didn't I realized he probably wanted me to get with a court reporting instructor he'd referred me to yesterday instead. I texted to check if that was the case and it was. So another hour of nervous waiting, then a zoom call with her.

The long and short of it is, I'm to take a court reporting course that will prepare me for this job and eventually help me to get an AAERT certification. This is something that I had looked into myself, in the past, but without any sort of job offer on the table or incentive to shell out the $800 for the courses and $1000+ for the equipment out-of-pocket, I never did it. And then I got to go on tour again. But this time my new boss and this program director are offering the course to me for FREE. All *I* have to do is put in the effort and DO IT.

It's too good to pass up; even if everything implodes and I end up with no job again, at the very least the certification (for FREE) would give me a leg up for future work. Still, that meant after our meeting was over I had to spend my morning buying even MORE equipment, and downloading and installing software, and kind of coming to the realization that this is really happening, and I'm going to have to dedicate a significant chunk of time to these courses and to certifying just as quickly as I can, because otherwise it will be entirely my own fault if I don't have work this summer.

Part of me is excited and glad. For my Friends Only crowd, you guys know how much I stress about being entry-level value at every job, and how it hurts to not be contributing to our household more significantly (Jameson has the mortgage and pays ALL of the bills, and I am lucky if I can break $12k in earnings each year at the age of 40.) This could be my chance to break out of that, and have a skills set that can at LEAST get me above the poverty line ffs.

But part of me is freaking out about the NOW...about the money being spent on equipment that I don't yet know how to use, for a job that I don't entirely know how to do.

And part of me is sad and mourning the end of my current job...you know, the thing that I went to school for because I LOVE to do it, as opposed to the job I HAVE to do. Plus currently watching the adventure and freedom that I enjoy on tour coming to an end in real time.

This is all natural...all of the feelings of sadness and nostalgia and kind of inner heel-dragging to start this new job. I go through this at the end of every tour. And so Thursday turned into a day of processing those Big Feels. Which meant that I was depressed and sad, and after I had set up my new profile for the courses and installed the software, I sort of crashed back into bed, not even watching cat videos or anime to make me feel better, just reading a little and sleeping on and off.

At some point in there I ate, and got outside for a short mile-walk (not to the falls, I didn't want to go see such a beautiful place in the mood I was in.) There's nothing else to report, for Thursday. We had our show and it went well.

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Friday I managed to stay asleep until about 6:30am, yipee.

Got up early to start my new courses, but got distracted with finding jobs for a friend. Then partway through the first module, realized I'd forgotten to create a membership with AAERT and download their training manual, which I 100% need to complete ANY of the assignments in this course. So I did all of that, but the manual is emailed to you after the fact and I couldn’t complete the homework until that was received. Rookie mistake. Worked on Foodie Finds for Modesto while I waited, and when the manual hadn't showed up by lunchtime I braved the cold to walk to Kasa Taphouse. It was mid-70s when we arrived in Spokane and now it's 35°F and flurrying/raining. It is still beautiful here, but...sigh. I was looking forward to a last taste of spring weather, before the heat of Florida. Guess not.


This is a fairly new restaurant, with self-seating and QR code menus and a quick-serve environment that I liked a lot. It was pretty busy but I was seated right away and was able to get what I came for: the pork belly bowl. It's one of their more popular dishes and the pork belly is brined for two days, so they sometimes run out of it.

Two-day-brined and grilled pork belly with pickled carrot, radish, and cabbage slaw, tomato chutney, house curry sauce, fluffy house-recipe herbed pita bread, served over yellow basmati rice.


Very very good. I don't usually do pork belly because all the fat grosses me out, but there was actually a lot of meat on these slices and the flavor was awesome. Especially loved the tart pickled veggies with the sweet, warm tomato chutney and spicy creamy curry sauce, what a great combo of flavors. The bread, though, was the BEST. It was as fresh as humanly possible, incredibly light, like a little triangle cloud, not a trace of staleness. Absolutely loved it!

Walked to the grocery for some yogurts and berries for the next few days, and popped into some shops along the way like a record store, rocks & minerals store, and a kitchen supply store (bought nothing because now that I'm doing court reporting I'm REALLY poor, but it was fun to look!)

By the time I got back to the hotel my training manual had arrived, so I spent the rest of the day working on DCR modules. It looks like the hardest part is going to be memorizing terminology, structure of the courts, and history/info about US court and law. Outside of that, I'll just need to learn my equipment, how to set it up, and "best practices" which I feel will come a lot quicker than remembering what a "certiorari" is or a "amicus curiae." One nice thing is that someone has input all of this info into Quizlet, which has an app. So tonight during breaks in our show, instead of reading Wheel of Time, I took little quizzes and flash-carded myself.

When I can start this job depends heavily on when I feel capable enough to do it, so I'm cramming as much as I can...but I'm still on the last two weeks of tour and want to enjoy that.

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Saturday...oooh we are making progress, I managed to sleep until 7:30!

After breakfast I spent a chunk of time completing a surprise assessment from a transcription company...one that I didn't apply to this year, and that sent me a 3-hour nightmare assessment last time I tried to apply for them. This time the assessment was MUCH more reasonable, so I did it, but not sure that I qualify or that they'd be willing to work with me on hours as I prepare for the other court reporting job.

Which is what I did next: spent hours reviewing the first set of flashcards, watching videos on materials, reading the same information in the manual, and reviewing the next set of flashcards and quizzes. Now I supposedly know what "in limine" means. I don't CARE what it means, but I KNOW what it means :p

The first show went fine. I checked on my caramels...you may remember that I brought two big bags with a total of 250-ish pieces:


...and this is what's left. I think there are 12 pieces in there. Good job everyone!


During this show our other Megan, who spells her name Maeghin, put up a disco version of "I Could Have Danced All Night." Pretty cute, and a nice memory for us :) I'm near the tail end of the video, see if you can catch me.
(CLICK HERE to watch)

Between shows the usual, walking back to the hotel and eating random stuff.
Evening show was also good, and it was DEFINITELY a sold out crowd. There was a really adorable moment when "I Could Have Danced All Night" started; the audience made this kind of "Aaaah!" sighing sound and then applauded so enthusiastically when Eliza started singing. It is indeed a beloved number. And I couldn't believe how people were SCREAMING cheers after "Get Me to the Church," like whooping and everything like they wanted to be involved in the bar scene haha.

After the show I stepped out of the stage door and was blown away by the massive amount of people exiting the theatre. It was a good one!

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Sunday I was up at 7, breakfast, working on my DCR training.

That and Foodie Finds for Modesto was pretty much it until it was time for shows.

I don't really have anything to report...both shows were just fine. We were all really looking forward to the golden day on Monday, so perhaps we were a bit distracted, but not to any detriment. And it's still load out, so after we finished I packed up my things as usual and went upstairs to sign our wall tag here. It's been up for several days so for once most people have signed it. Can you spot my initials?


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Tomorrow is Monday, a lovely golden day of no shows and no travel here in Spokane.

My plans are 50/50 chores/fun, so we will see what I actually accomplish from this list:

- Laundry
- DCR modules/training
- Thrifting at the local Goodwill
- Tacos at Cochinita
- Groceries to bring to Yakima (grocery options are super limited there)
- More DCR modules/training
- Some minor day drinking (the lavender honey cider I bought earlier)
- Seeing the falls one last time
- Riding or at least seeing the Looff Carousel

What a thing, to wake up and realize you have the entire day to yourself!

I could stay in bed all day if I wanted to.
And this is why I shouldn't complain that next week there won't be a moment to myself.
Yet I'll complain anyway :p Ungracious of me. But frankly, I've spent my entire life working to avoid forced social interactions, and interactions in general, and that doesn't change just because of the situation.

Anyway, I rolled out of bed at 8:30am CT...which is 9:30am ET, which is therefore pretty late for ME.
Breakfast, computer time, a little packing because tomorrow we fly to Amarillo for a one-nighter.

And otherwise had a very lazy afternoon. Was supposed to carpool with two others to do laundry, but they backed out. I used a laundry service earlier in the week so wasn't in a super-bad fix, but there will be zero time to do laundry next week even if a washer/dryer are available. Taking an Uber by myself in Chicago would be $30 round trip. A laundry service would be $40 for same-day turnaround. I could walk four miles round trip in the cold and wind to the nearest laundromat. I could take the subway, which only gets me partway there and the stinkiness of which is ironically partly why I have laundry to do today, lol. Or I could wait until we get to Amarillo and fight with at least 30 other people in our cast for the single washer and dryer in the one-nighter hotel.

When there is no apparent "right" option, I like to turn up the heat in the ol' brain pan.
I figured, "It's the Monday after St. Patrick's...it's probably pretty slow today for a lot of hotels. Why don't I just call around and see who will let me use their laundry room?"

Scored on the very first call. A Hyatt just two blocks away said I could come use their laundry room if I showed up in the next 30 minutes! I packed my bag and walked over, and the kind woman at the front desk let me in with her key. So I spent 90 minutes quietly reading Dune and getting a chore out of my face. Not bad! Walked to Target afterward for a yogurt and to get some steps in.

Back at the hotel I packed some and filled out several job applications. Was it an exciting Chicago adventure, no, but it was a quiet day and I appreciated it. I tried the soy milk banana bubble tea from 88 Marketplace.


It had a lovely creamy yellow color, and the banana flavor was gentle and not too artificial. It wasn't as rich as dairy milk, but was yummy anyway. The "boba" was made from konjac which is not nearly as chewy, satisfying, or flavorful as traditional tapioca boba. I know why they used konjac: it adds virtually no calories (a single tapioca pearl can have up to 14 calories.) But the texture was lame and they're visually kinda blech too.

(If those were tapioca pearls there would be 114 calories in that spoon.)

Still, grateful that I got to try it!

Speaking of trying things, by the time I got back to the hotel and had my laundry put away it was time to walk to Kyuramen with our drummer, Laura, for our last meal in Chicago!

Kyuramen is a chain, mostly located in Asia but with a few locations in US cities. In fact there's one in Orlando, and I hope to take Jameson there after tour is over! The restaurant has a "trendy" and very "Instagrammable" design, most notably a tiered honeycomb system of dining booths which opens up more floor space.

(photo courtesy Eater Chicago)

We were seated in a different area with screened and curtained booths.
(I think some Japanese restaurants have booths like this, and they're recreating that?)

(photo courtesy Eater Chicago)

Laura and I both got Thai tea (I had to get mine without cream, sigh) and sipped and chatted, just about generic stuff like audio issues in the pit and plans post-tour and what our families are up to. We both ordered the omurice, hers topped with a pork cutlet.

Omurice is a traditional Japanese dish consisting of fried rice topped with an omelette. When Japanese people eat it at home it is not complicated...you can use leftover fried rice, make a basic egg omelette, put the omelette on top of the rice, and put some ketchup on top. Sometimes the rice is wrapped up inside the omelette. It's a sort of homey economy dish, equivalent to the American Hamburger Helper or tuna casserole.

But omurice can also be made in a very special (and difficult) way. CLICK HERE to see a short video of someone making an omurice. Basically you have to cook the outside of the omelette so that it's thin and delicate, while keeping the inside par-cooked, soft, and runny. You do this by working rapidly with chopsticks while carefully controlling the heat on the egg, especially at the point where you have to flip and seal the omelette, enclosing the runny center.

Once you have your omelette the difficulty isn't over; you then have to place it ever-so-carefully on top of the fried rice, so as not to rip the thin outer egg. Then the egg is dramatically cut open for serving, revealing the perfect interior. The whole thing is doused in curry sauce or demi glace (or you can just put ketchup on it.)

Here's my omelette getting cut open and drowned in beef demi glace, then sprinkled with nori flakes.
(CLICK HERE to watch)

Here's the omelette afterward. It may not be the prettiest thing, but MAN is it good. Warm and salty-sweet, giving that same soothing and nostalgic feeling you'd get from a hearty bowl of chicken noodle soup. I can see why this is a popular comfort food in Japan.


The egg was incredible for texture. It was SO thin and silky, like...well, silk! The par-cooked inside was cooked a bit further from the heat of the sauce, but was still incredibly smooth and soft. It went nicely with the hard-cooked rice and veggies underneath. The rice also had an amazing flavor that we both exclaimed over; it's only fried rice cooked with ketchup, Worcestershire, and veggies, but they also added finely chopped mushrooms that I think added a lot of earthy flavor, and the chicken pieces were strongly marinated and really savory.

The whole thing tasted way better than I had expected. Honestly I thought this was going to be about appreciating the technique that goes into making the dish, and then eating a basic fried rice with eggs on top. But no, in addition to the technique involved it was also very delicious and special. I'm glad we made time to try it!

We walked back, hurrying because it was windy and cold.
The rest of my night was packing, typing up this post, and reading more Dune.
It's been a VERY long time since a book held my interest as strongly as this :)

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Tuesday morning, was up early to have breakfast and finish packing.

Loaded onto the bus for the airport around 10am. Bye, Chicago. Thanks for everything.
(the river is still green!)


The flights were on time and nothing to report except that I had to buy airport food for lunch (but for the other meal I did my nonperishables.) We got to Amarillo around 7:30, and I Ubered to a grocery. It's not ideal but we have a five-hour bus ride to Albuquerque, and the only possible rest stop is a TA with a Subway and NOTHING else, and there are SIXTY of us. The grocery stores in Amarillo are disappointing at best, but I got basic nonperishables.

Today, Jameson found out that he did not get the job with Disney.
I can't fathom how devastated he must feel. I wish I were there to distract him...to take him bar hopping, or out with some of his friends, or to a show...SOMETHING. But I also know from personal experience that he needs to work through the hurt of rejection, and have a lot of feelings, before he can start thinking positively about what comes next. I'm glad there's a layoff coming up so I can be home and we can talk about things, or I can cook some nice meals for him or get him out of the house. But I don't know if that'll be enough to keep him from falling into a depression or a funk over this.

It was not a small thing. He's worked so hard. And he's been rejected by them again, and again, and again.
I suspect that after this, he'll finally start looking away from Disney. It was a big hope for him, a dream job. But frankly there are so many other employers, other companies out there across the US, that would absolutely see value in Jameson's skills sets and be able to put them to good use (for good pay.) We will see what happens next, but for today it's working through disappointment and very difficult feelings.

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Wednesday I was up around 8 and had breakfast, did meal planning, made overnight oats for tomorrow's breakfast, applied for jobs. Partway through the morning I picked up two bagels from a local shop called The Bagle Place.
These will be my Travel Bagels. One on the left is butterscotch, one on the right is honey almond.


Although it was sunny and 70°F out I stayed inside. I was in a bad mood, on Jameson's behalf and on my own behalf, for having to hunt for low-paying work again. It's important to remind myself that if I had a high-paying, full time job I probably wouldn't be able to have tour adventures. That's the trade off.

When it was time I packed dinner and walked to the theatre. Sunny and warm, I was almost sweating by the time I got there.

The building is a convention center complex which reminded me a lot of the ice hockey arenas where the circus used to play. The acoustics were like an ice hockey arena too: boomy and loud. But we made do. It was a decent audience and the show went quickly.

And that’s one night in Amarillo.

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Thursday we leave very early, but we also get to Albuquerque in the early afternoon. With any luck our rooms will be ready so I can see if mine will be ok for Raven and I to share, or if I’ll need to get her her own. And we have a show that night. And I have to check on Kayle’s tickets for Saturday. And bring an extra set of work clothes and deodorant to the theatre in case I get trapped on an outing and can’t make it back to the hotel before a show. And remember not to fully unpack because I need to make sure Raven has enough room. And we have a show tomorrow night. And I need to leave a key at the front desk for Raven. And see if the hotel has an airport shuttle. And, and…

(…and my selfish Albuquerque adventure--if our rooms are ready when we arrive tomorrow--will be to visit La Montana co-op!)

Thursday I could not sleep, adrenaline left over from suddenly rocketing off to do Candlelight.

I literally went from being in my pajamas and curled up under a blanket, to suddenly being on stage in front of hundreds of people, in a suit jacket and slacks, with the Orlando Philharmonic brass section next to me and a several-hundred-voice choir. It was a pretty intense and unexpected gear shift, and it took hours to wind back down afterward and fall asleep.

And we both had to get up early, Jameson for a doctors appointment and me to do data entry because the afternoon would be taken up with fighting the crowds to get Christmas dinner five freaking days in advance, sigh. I hope the broccoli can make it that long.

Whole Paycheck was definitely more crowded than usual but not insanity-level just yet. I was able to get everything on my list, including our traditional beef tenderloin which was a horrifying $33 per pound. It'll feed both of us for a whole week and it's a special day, so it's all right, but seeing that number is a punch to the pocketbook.

Back home, hot tea and as much data entry as I could handle, which wasn't much.
Jameson and I both wrapped our day up with practice, him for Candlelight and me for Spanish church.
Then, cheap grocery store sushi and stale-by-now Christmas chookies and watching Holiday LEGO Masters.

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Friday was so tedious there's really nothing to say about it.
I worked as much as I could, then sometime in the afternoon got fed up.
Wanted to go for a walk, but was unmotivated. Should have practiced for Spanish church, but didn't.
Ended up on the floor with pillows, watching the Hot Ones Christmas special with Jameson.

Eventually we pulled ourselves together to go see "When Love Is Found," a local theater retelling of Muppet Christmas Carol, which several of Jameson's friends were involved in.


It was good fun, pretty much a reading of the script of the movie with a few small cuts, and with ALL of the extended version songs (Eagle Sam has a song, and of course "When Love Is Gone" which was cut after the initial movie release.) There were also a lot of Orlando-and-Disney-centric puns thrown in which were very funny and cute. You could tell that the whole thing had been thrown together kind of last-minute, but it was absolutely sold out (they had to add another showing!) and everyone did a wonderful job.

Afterward we met up with Jameson's friends but didn't keep them long since they had to perform again that night. So we drove home and chatted about our Christmas gigs and listened to TranSiberian Orchestra.

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Saturday I was up at 8am against my will, had breakfast and typed this up before grudgingly doing a little data entry.
There is very little work left to do and no one else is dumb enough to be working, but I have guilt about being behind on my hours AGAIN so wanted to show at least some effort. An hour or so of that, then I got ready for Spanish church, deciding on a similar outfit as I'd worn to Candlelight but just slightly more casual pants (an elastic waistband is so helpful for wind musicians, regardless the size of your waist!)


Megachurch, indeed.

Rehearsal was fine, a little chaotic (the parts don't always line up with the tracks, stuff like that) but we got it done. The trumpet and sax player were both cool, we hit it off and had a good time together. We were multi-generational, so to my left I had Neal (trumpet) sharing about the times he performed with a salsa-merengue band at Studio 54, and to my right was Jeremy (sax) describing how his students were bringing their homemade EDM music to their woodwind lessons...which triggered a discussion among the three of us (Boomer, Elder Millennial, and Gen Z) about the ways in which EDM is an artistic expression, since we all easily agreed that it's NOT original compositions.

For dinner the church gave us a home-cooked meal of shredded chicken, white rice, green lentils, and plantain, which was really good. Why is church food so GOOD. We chatted as we ate, getting to know each other. Neal, is a retired New Yorker who picks up gigs here and there, and who has an annual pass for Disney so that's where he'll be spending both Christmas and New Year's. Jeremy has just finished school for education/teaching but is enjoying gigging around Orlando; he especially prefers wedding bands and corporate gigs.

When it was time to play we had a short prayer with the padre, then marched onto the stage.
The service was only an hour, and it was lovely.

A still shot of the horn section that I grabbed from the livestream:


My close-up. We each got one but Jeremy was not playing on his and Neal actually had MANY close-ups, I will leave it up to him to pick his favorite :p


This church seats 6,000, and there certainly were not that many people that night, but there were still a LOT so it was a beautiful sea of candles during Silent Night.




If you'd like to hear us play, here's the service clipped to where the horns come in for Feliz Navidad around 26:35.
(CLICK HERE to watch)

Afterward they gave us not only our pay, but a lovely little gift bag with some chocolates, stickers, and other cute fun little treats. How nice! I'm so grateful that I got to play for this church again. It was a Merry Gigmas, as musicians say ;)

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Sunday I woke in a tizzy because it's Christmas Eve day!! And I just realized, I didn't get anything for dessert!

I guess I was thinking that we'd still have cookies, but we've banged through them pretty quickly.
Plus, after eating an expensive beef tenderloin, we should have an equally special dessert prepared just for the holiday!
I knew exactly what to make: Egg Nog Pie a la B. Dylan Hollis.
(CLICK HERE for the recipe via TikTok)

I went to the grocery right after breakfast, and fortunately it was not totally insane yet.
However there was NO NOG to be found. Not surprising, really, and I was kicking myself all the way through Publix No.1, followed 20 minutes later by Target, then Publix No.2 where I finally found a small bottle neglected behind some creamer.
So it took an hour to get eggnog on Christmas Eve. Note to self. Don't last-minute the eggnog.

Back home I did as much prep as I could for Christmas day meals: mixed up the horseradish sauce, separated some eggs for Japanese pancakes, and set out the necessary cooking tools (mixer, griddle pan, spatula, etc.) I had to wait 4 hours for the Cool Whip to thaw, but when that was ready I made the eggnog pie too, adding a splash of spiced rum and real grated nutmeg on top.


At least if I ruin Christmas dinner, we'll have half a pie each!

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By the time you see this post it'll be Monday, Christmas Day!
I hope you're not reading this on the holiday. Go be with your family :p

In closing, a record of my gift-giving for this Christmas:

Jameson:
- Milk carton-shaped drinking glass w/bendy straws
- Chicken feet socks
- Misc stocking stuffers (pistachio nougat, a slime, a Koosh, a banana bread beer, high-quality chocolates, etc)
- Small gift cards for DoorDash, Xbox, and Taco Bell
- "World's Worst Assistant" by Sona (Conan O'Brien's assistant)
- Box of mystery dehydrated candies from PoppinCandy on TikTok
- Gift card for PoppinCandy (because they sell a LOT more than candy)
- Gift card for Re-pop novelty store because they sell rare pop culture collectibles
- Goose Creek Little Debbie Strawberry Shortcake candle (arriving late)
- The Big Gift: $100 gift card for Just Meats, which I'm hoping will be a good replacement for HelloFresh for him.
- The pleasure of my company, and an eggnog pie :p

My sister Kayle & her family:
- Gift card for PA General Store, so she can have all her favorite PA treats delivered to her out in Colorado!
- Wonka chocolate toothpaste (gag gift, she has three kids so can experiment on them lol)

My sister Kate & family:
- Two mugs, one vintage/rare, one specially made by an Etsy artist (she asked for mugs and asked for "nothing" this year)
- Wonka chocolate toothpaste

My sister Raven:
- Gift card to L'appartement 4F, Brooklyn bakery known for their viral mini croissant cereal
- Gift card to King Arthur Baking store
- Chocolate toothpaste

My brother Jonah & his girlfriend:
- Tickets to an upcoming EDM concert in Philly (his girlfriend's idea)
- Exclusive access to the club at the EDM concert (my idea, his girlfriend doesn't know I added that :p)
- Chocolate toothpaste

Gifts to myself because I'm SELFISH:
- Sandwich cookie-shaped pillow (cannot WAIT for this to show up!)
- Replacement stegosaurus knit hat (I ruined my other one in the wash)
- July (that's the brand) lifetime warranty carry-on luggage, made in Japan (this is tbd, waiting to see if someone gets it for me but I doubt it)

Right before bed our neighbor Dan from across the street rang the doorbell with a gift of cookies and an adorable owl ornament!


We neighbors exchange cookies every year, but usually I'm the first to get them out. He beat me to it this year!
When you receive cookies as a gift, it's a requirement to eat one fresh ;) so I broke my calorie count for the day to have one. It's the holidays, after all! Oh, and they brought Jameson an entire key lime pie. Good grief!! I'll have a slice but won't be able to eat much as those are usually made with condensed milk.

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Monday, I got up at 6:30 so I could log at least an hour of work (I got 1.5) before starting on the Thin Mint cookie dough.
It came together quickly but was VERY dense and fudgy, basically a chocolate shortbread with mint essence.
The recipe said to roll out the dough and use a 2" cookie cutter, but in the interest of saving time I chose instead to roll it into logs and freeze it. That way I can SLICE round cookies later, which is a lot faster and easier than all that rolling and cutting and re-rolling.

When that was done I had a doctor's appointment about a lump in my throat, which my doctor said is just one tonsil being larger than the other. Glad the copay was only $30, then. The problem with my entire healthcare life is that the ONLY time I have health insurance is when I'm on tour...and yet I'm in a different city every week, sometimes every two days. So if I need to see a doctor it's nearly impossible, because by the time I get either an appointment or a referral I'll be in a different STATE the next day. While on tour I'm limited to TeleDoc visits, walk-in clinics, and the ER for emergencies. So if I have any health questions at all, or if there's anything that might need a referral or further investigation, I HAVE to see my doctor during the layoff window.

I asked a few other questions about other misc things going on with me, got reassured, and went home.

Decided to move on to making the biscotti. Again, the dough came together quickly, and after reading the comments on the recipe I decided to add orange zest and also to chop half of the pistachios. The first step is to bake the dough in long flat "loaves" at low heat, just until they're firm.


Then you let them cool for 10 minutes, then slice them carefully into the classic biscotti "sticks."
Bake them again at an even lower temperature to dry them out.


I had pulsed the pistachios too hard which impacted the texture of the dough a bit, so next time I won't do that, but otherwise I'm very happy with how they turned out. Tomorrow I hope to dip 'em in white chocolate.

While Jameson was at the gym I did the chocolate crinkle dough.
It was dark and runny, not fudgy and dense like the Thin Mint dough.


This one is oil-based, no butter, and needs to be refrigerated overnight to be worked with.

When Jameson got back I was halfway through baking the Thin Mint cookies. We sampled those and the biscotti and found them good :) Then had dinner and I finished the Thin Mints. So tomorrow will be dipping the biscotti and the Thin Mints, baking the crinkles and peanut butter blossoms, and packaging everything up to send to people.

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Up early again to do an hour or two of work, eat breakfast, and crack down on the remaining cookies starting with the chocolate crinkles. Even though the dough was cold and more solid it was still really goopy and difficult to work with, but the end result was successful!


The last time I made chocolate crinkles they were REALLY dry and hard and I have no idea why. This recipe seems like a keeper. They were crispy at the edges and fudgy/gooey in the middle.

Next I decided to dip the biscotti. That was pretty easy, just melting white chocolate and dipping half of each stick in.
I forgot to take a picture.

Then I dipped the Thin Mints, which was more of a pain because I had to measure the chocolate carefully and add the right amount of peppermint. It was also hard to balance each cookie on a fork while dipping. Still, the results are pretty good and Jameson says they're tasty (I haven't had one yet.)


All of the chocolate-dipped things had a rotation into the fridge so the chocolate could set.
When that was done I wrapped them for shipping, then got started on the last cookie, peanut butter blossoms.
I used a different recipe this year and it's not my favorite...the instructions say to throw everything in a bowl together, no creaming the butter and sugar for fluffiness and stability, no whisking dry ingredients for even distribution. And it specifically said NOT to chill the dough too. I really should have switched recipes, but plowed ahead to see what would happen.


They turned out fine, just flatter than I prefer. And the dough was INSANELY wet and difficult to roll in the colorful sugar, to the point that I was pretty well pissed by the time Jameson finished work and suggested we go out for burgers for dinner. And I was still so annoyed at the restaurant that I got a big ol' burger with pineapple rings and bacon, much against my usual anal calorie counting. Oh well! It was delicious and I felt much better after scarfing it with my favorite person :)

Back home I rushed the pb blossoms through cooling by rotating them through the fridge, then packed them up, then assembled platters for the neighbors and delivered them (both neighbors were home thankfully.) Now all that's left is packaging and mailing everyone else's treats tomorrow. And finally these cookies will be out of my face!!!

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Up at 6:30 again to do 1.5 hours of work and eat breakfast before The Final Cookie Thing: packing everything for shipping. Having done this for several years in a row now, I know what size boxes will fit the tins from Walmart, so packing took no time at all. Off to UPS to drop everything off, then send tracking info to my relatives. Done and dusted! SO glad that's over with! I love making the cookies, it's a fun challenge every year, but it cuts into my work time and dinner planning for Jameson and I.

Now we have our own small mountain of cookies (with more on the way from family and friends, my goodness!)

Back home I worked worked worked, because I am behind thanks to cookies.
Then a very average evening. We ordered from our favorite Greek place, and I was surprised to see that they've got their own website now, so used it to place our order (when I use DoorDash the owner, a cranky old Greek guy, yells at me at pickup for incurring fees lol.)

And when I went to pick up the food I was surprised to see that the front had been redone, with a big new sign on the side of the building. I hope this means they've recovered from the pandemic (we ate there throughout the pandemic and have seen this restaurant's evolution.) And for the first time EVER, the cantankerous shop owner handed me my order and SMILED. I have never seen him smile!

Usually I get the chicken or lamb kabobs, and they're very good, huge portions and everything very fresh.
This time I got the tilapia and was not disappointed.


The crispy bits of the fish were my favorite!

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Tomorrow Jameson has a doctor's appointment to investigate some pain and potential damage to his hand (he plays the keyboard for a living remember) and while he's out I'm going to work work work, and make crockpot chili and cornbread.

On Friday we have Jameson's company holiday party at Universal, then I think the weekend should be fairly quiet.

Monday, I worked pretty much all day.
Practiced trombone in the afternoon.
Pulled leftover marinara from the freezer so we could have it with spaghetti and green beans and focaccia for dinner.

Jameson is still fighting off covid. I feel generally ok...my throat has been weird all week, like it feels dry and slightly sore all the time, but nothing has gotten any worse so I'm certainly still in the clear.

After dinner I did my neighborhood walk. Same route, but there's always something new to see.

Jawbones that suddenly appeared several feet from the other pile of bones that I pass on my walk.
I'm not sure if they're from the same skeleton or not, but I've never noticed them before and they were very prominent next to the sidewalk. Probably a person or animal unearthed them. Having seen the jawbone, I now suspect that it's an opossum skeleton.


At one of the neighborhood cul de sacs I saw a scraggly little head poking out from behind a parked truck.
Pulled out my phone just in time to catch a flock of wild turkeys emerging from someone's yard, snacking on the acorns on the ground.
(CLICK HERE to watch)

Back home I cleaned up then did a little more data entry because I'm behind, because of the lack of work on Sunday. I wish I could at least supplement with another job, but no one is going to hire me for just a month, and most of what I've found online seems either fake/spammy or pays so low that the time to do the work would not be worth the money.

Next year I'll have to make sure the job I'm accepting actually exists, somehow.
30 hours per week is already bad enough without being reduced even further. What bullshit.

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Tuesday I forgot to write anything here.

I got up extra-early to work, knowing that we had ordered new patio furniture and it would need to be assembled, plus I had therapy in the afternoon. Still I didn't hit 4 hours before the furniture arrived. On top of that I forgot that I'd scheduled therapy at 1:30 instead of 1pm this week, so stopped working 30 minutes earlier than I needed to. The result was haphazardly trying to help Jameson assemble furniture in the living room while taking bites of lunch, then running into the spare bedroom barely in time for therapy where I couldn't focus and felt nothing but stressed during the "relaxation" part of the session.

I felt off for the rest of the day; my throat is sore and I'm paranoid that it's covid, paranoid that it's NOT covid but something else just as bad; paranoid that I'll have covid this weekend when we're planning to go out with friends. I was in a mood when it was time to cook HelloFresh dinner, and it didn't help that one of the chicken packages was punctured and got chicken blood all over the fridge, then we had to of course throw it out, and Jameson finally canceled the HelloFresh subscription because we've received punctured/damaged meat packaging about 50% of the time lately and that's a huge food safety issue. All they need to do is put the meat in a box instead of throwing it unprotected underneath all the other ingredients + the heavy ice packs, but I guess that's out of the question for HelloFresh.

I did a crap job of dinner, overcooking the pork and green beans and applying honey butter too soon so that it melted and got all over the plate. Oh well. Jameson "there-thered" me, and it was edible.

The new patio/pool deck furniture. It's made of that recycled stuff, old yogurt containers or whatever.
We chose "Millennial Grey" of course.


-----------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday was another early day of trying to cram in as much work as possible.

This time I at least got my four hours in before lunch.
Got to practice trombone too. I recently scored a "conductor cam" recording of My Fair Lady: a clean video and audio recording of a live show, where the camera is on the conductor and the audio is taken through the audio mix instead of through the house, eliminating ambient noise. It's extremely useful for practice purposes, and to see and hear what the people you're gonna work with are gonna perform like.

Jameson was feeling much better today, so I washed our sheets and his towels, and wiped down touch points like doorknobs and light switches. I feel about the same;my throat actually feels better though it still looks irritated back there. Tomorrow I want to get groceries, and will test myself before going out.

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If we are both covid-free on Friday, we're going to Busch Gardens Howl-o-Scream, then we rescheduled Universal Halloween Horror Nights to Sunday with our friends.

Other than that, I'll probably have to work every day this week to make up for lost hours, and I want to make rice pudding for us, and now that we've cancelled HelloFresh I'll have to plan some things for dinners.

I am such a total wreck lately.
But this being a public post, I'll spare you. If you have ever had health anxiety you'll know what I mean; if not, just be glad you don't have to deal with it because it's scary, feels terrible, and is exhausting.

Work was also weirdly frustrating. I spent nearly an hour working on a complex profile with a lot of information scattered throughout pages of what was basically someone's entire life story. We're SUPPOSED to be processing formal intake forms with fields like Name, Birthdate, Religion, etc., but this was, like, a typed word document, with paragraphs. A literary work!

I carefully found all of the important info, filled out their profile, saved my work....and it didn't save.
I had saved once earlier thank god, so didn't lose everything...but lost more than half of the work. I tried clearing cookies and doing it again, and still couldn't save. Tried logging in and out, tried saving in three different browsers...nothing worked. So I sent an error ticket and informed my supervisor so she wouldn't raise her eybrows at the insane amount of time I spent on that profile today.

Then later on I ran into a duplicated profile and couldn't find a way to delete the duplicate. Someone in another department was able to help me out, but today must have been my day for running into weird stuff at work.

Because I was in a general state of high anxiety I was working more slowly than usual, so maybe that's why I ended up an hour short by the end of the day. Jameson and I had dinner, then he worked on homework and I completed my missing hour. I also got some tour paperwork including a contact sheet. The French hornist for the show found me and friended me first...a French horn! Yay!! We chatted a bit, and I found out that most of the musicians in the pit are female! How exciting! A big change of pace for me!

The instrumentation is MD/Keyboard, Concertmaster/Violin, Cello, Reed 1, Reed 2, Trumpet, French Horn, Trombone, Bass, and Drums.
Still ten musicians, but one keyboard instead of two, violin and cello instead of guitar and Key 2, and the horn replacing a trumpet.

I'm grateful that they have a trombone...and I can tell you that the ONLY reason they have a trombone is because of "Get Me To The Church On Time":



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I woke up at 3am again last night due to tension/anxiety, but was able to remind myself that it was definitely just anxiety, I've been through this before, and nothing is actually wrong. I talked to myself in the way Jameson used to talk to me, when he was in a better mindspace. And in the way my mom used to talk to me, when she was alive. Sometimes, you're the only one available to give two f*cks about yourself, and about your emotional state. And in those times, talking to yourself, like a parakeet professing love to a mirror, is better than the alternative.

So I woke up a few hours later around 8:30, breakfast, watched anime, swept the pool deck, which only took 20-30 minutes but by the time I was done my clothes were soaked with sweat. Lunch, to the grocery for ingredients, home to practice trombone and clean the bathrooms.

Dinner was supposed to be HelloFresh but I forgot that it was a crock pot recipe, and realized too late to start it.
So we had takeout Greek, watched an episode of Forged in Fire, then Jameson went out with some friends and I vacuumed and read and listened to quiet music and watched anime.

I went outside to put a tote bag back in my car, and saw this snail climbing our garage door.


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I guess I'll be waking up at 3am every night in a panic now. Great.
Woke BACK up around 9, breakfast, worked on Foodie Finds.

Jameson wanted to go for a walk with me, so we went and it was humid and disgusting and made us wish for fall, real fall.
But I am always happier when he joins me for walks.

I made an appointment for the blood draw I was supposed to have months ago, and I will try not to cancel it. Even if I panic and pass out and whatever, I need to get it done or I will lose my pcp. After lunch I remembered to start the crock pot meal. I practiced trombone, watched a little Wheel of Time, and helped my stepmom with some stuff she's working on for her house.

Close to dinnertime I got a surprise call from my aunt, who has been fighting bronchitis.
We talked about our concerns and health issues and worries. She is pretty much the only relative who actually checks on me, and vice versa, so we are very glad to have each other to confide in.

I was describing my absolute terror of going for this blood draw, and she asked, "Can you pinpoint exactly what it is you're afraid of?" I opened my mouth to answer, and realized...there really isn't anything. I'm afraid of the sensation of the needle going in, and of fluid flowing out of me. I'm afraid of the embarrassment and awful sensation of passing out. I'm afraid of being brushed off and treated like my concerns or fears don't matter by the nurse. And I said that out loud. And my aunt didn't question it. But it made me think, is that stuff worth being afraid of? Saying them out loud made those fears smaller and more insignificant. And immediately made me feel better about the whole thing. I decompressed a little, right then and there.

So, in addition to relaxation exercises and therapy, I'll start incorporating saying the fear out loud; pinpointing what exactly it is about the situation/activity that makes me so afraid and uptight, and voicing that. Maybe that will help me to add another dollop of logic to these panic situations.

I was finally able to have a good night's sleep too.

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I got up early to do my data entry job, but remember how I couldn't save my work earlier in the week?
Well now it's a sitewide issue impacting the entire company. I've started a plague, ya'll.

Since there was no way to do any work, and certainly no one will be addressing this over a holiday weekend, I got to enjoy another day off. I went for a walk, and it was hot and disgusting but there was also a pleasant breeze.

Want to come with me?

( Go on a Walk )

Back home I got cleaned up and had lunch, then started on the dough for homemade breadsticks.
It's a very easy basic dough. While it was proofing I got the bolognese going. It'll simmer all day until dinnertime.


By the time I was done with the sauce and cleaning up the dough was ready to be shaped.
I'm not good at shaping.


But they still turned out fine. Brushed them with butter and garlic powder, and put a pizza seasoning blend on half of 'em.


They were surprisingly light and fluffy, flavorful and delicious with the marinara.
Jameson said they were better than Olive Garden's! I don't know about that, but they were definitely comparable.


The rest of the night was chill. We heard jets going by overhead and found out that it's a flyover for a football game at nearby Camping World Stadium.


----------------------------------------------------------------

When you read this it'll be Monday, and I guess Labor Day.
Since no one will be in the office to fix our company-wide error, I assume I'll have another unscheduled day off.
Jameson has a special-event Disney gig next week, so he'll be gone quite a lot, so this is actually good timing: I'll be more inclined to put in more hours when he's not around to spend time with. But we will see; it all depends on this error getting fixed.

My only other plans are to work, have my blood draw on Thursday, and maybe make something from Baking Yesteryear.

I woke up with a start around 8am. Overslept!

At least, for the work-from-home schedule that I impose on myself, that is oversleeping.
At first I was angry with myself...now I'll have to work on Friday :(
But then I tried to be kind to myself. I didn't feel good last night, I have been very stressed, and the entire benefit of a job like this is flexibility. You are SUPPOSED to take time when you need it. Sleeping in an extra half hour was, apparently, needed and good. Plus I had absolutely nothing at all planned for the day except to work and maybe go for another walk.

After breakfast I got notification that my new trombone has shipped and will arrive tomorrow before 8pm!
I am excited and a bit nervous about it. What if it doesn't work out?
I mean, the answer is I'll send it back and pay the restocking fee.
But there are some emotional stakes here as well. (Explained in a separate post.)

So I had breakfast and started working at 9am.
Plugged along all day, and managed to catch up enough that I'll only have to do 1.5 hours on Friday.

For dinner Jameson wanted to try the new Lazy Dog they've built near Margaritaville, so off we went.
It was pretty good! They messed up my salad, but replaced it and offered sides to make up for it (I said no.)
Our meals were pretty standard, the highlights were the "crunchy deviled eggs" which turned out to be fried:


And the butter cake, which I thought was just OK but Jameson enjoyed very much.
I did like the chewy texture, it's just not something I'd normally go for (they were out of the dessert we'd actually wanted)


We want to come back here for brunch, they've got some fun dishes on that menu to try!

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Friday, I still got up at 7:30am to finish my 1.5 hours of Nursing Home Job.
When that was done I went to Publix for groceries, and then my trombone was delivered! Huzzah!


I excitedly cracked it open. At first everything looked ok...


...but after looking more closely, I realized something was wrong.
This was NOT the new 1047 model. It was the older one. The one I'd had in high school.


My first clue was that the bell was stamped "Eterna Series", not "Eterna Novus", which is the new model.
My second clue was the serial number, which contained the old model number, 1047FR. The new model would be 1047FNR.
And my final clue was just touching the slide. The new model is supposed to have a wider bracing (which I could immediately tell upon touching it that this did not) and a removable leadpipe (which was nowhere to be seen.)

Drat. Well, as I've found out with jobs this year as well, if it sounds too good to be true it probably is.
I was very disappointed, but called and left a polite message with the music store asking how to proceed.
I admired the trombone anyway. This model holds a lot of wonderful memories for me, and it was great to see it again :)
I didn't play it because I used to work music retail, and I know that the less I touch it the better for their sale purposes.

The trombone news continued to be bad, as I spent some time practicing on my Bach 42 with my new mouthpiece.
Everything was fine, I really enjoyed it. But when I was finished and packing up I noticed something that looked like tarnish, that hadn't been there before. Uh oh.


I scrubbed at it with a polishing cloth and it didn't come out.
This typically means that the lacquer didn't apply correctly, and the brass is leeching through.
I sent a picture to Warburton and they confirmed that something ain't right. I'll have to drive all the way back there for a fix or replacement. Sigh. The good news is they're not THAT far. Plus, I can still continue playing on the mouthpiece (it's unlikely to harm me at this stage.) Plus, now I can bake up some treats to bring to my friends at Warburton :)

The rest of my night was kind of stressful. I was having intense health anxiety because of a twinging sensation in my side that I was CONVINCED was gallbladder stones...never mind that I wasn't nauseous or in actual pain. Health anxiety is so weird. I KNOW I'm overreacting in the moment that it's happening, but I can't shut it off. It's like pumping the brakes on a car with a cut brakeline. I can shout logic to myself all I want but my unconscious fight-or-flight just will not accept it. Anyway, I was fine, just upset and freaking out all night for no reason.

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Saturday felt luxurious because I didn't have to work.
The music shop got back to me, sending return paperwork because they don't have any other 1047s in stock.
I am not surprised at all. I WAS surprised that they'd said they'd had one in the first place. Go figure.
They very kindly are not going to charge me any restocking fees, so I very kindly am not going to play the horn so they don't have to worry about cleaning it other than a quick outer polish. Look how kind we are to each other.

Then I worked on Megan's Foodie Finds. I've gotten behind on it!
Then a walk in the afternoon heat (still cooler than it's been at least.)
I washed our sheets, cleaned the bathrooms, did a lazy dusting, and more Foodie Finds.

At night we went to Stubborn Mule for dinner.
They're usually one of our favorite restaurants, but tonight they were kinda off their game.
They had a prix fixe menu going for a charity event, and it seemed like that was interfering with normal kitchen operations. Our food came out at different times, and each of our meals had something wrong with them (nothing major enough to send back, just things like Jameson's steak wasn't cooked the way he'd asked and his salad came without a topping.)

And my flatbread came with balsamic instead of hot honey like it was supposed to...but it was still good, ya know?


After that we went to The Abbey to see some of Jameson's friends perform.
Everyone did a great job! It was kind of a medley setup, different actors/singers performing numbers from different musicals one after the other. It was also a role reversal: men sang songs written for women and vice versa. That was really cool!

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Sunday I got up at 7am so I could get some work in before packing up the Getzen trombone and taking it to UPS to be returned.
Then I worked until I'd hit my six hour mark, all the while fighting health anxieties because I still have that weird stitch in my side. Again, no other symptoms, so don't ask why I'm so hyper-fixated that there is something seriously wrong. That's the joy of being a hypochondriac.

I practiced trombone a little in the afternoon, and that was good.
We didn't do much at night except Jameson played a new Chainsaw Massacre game while I tried to get caught up on Attack on Titan and worked on Megan's Foodie Finds.

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On Monday I'll have therapy, but nothing else planned except work and either practice or a walk in the afternoon.
Oh, and we're going to a comedy club on Monday night, that should be fun!

...You know, right now we are both really stressed out about our own personal things.
I hope we can get back to ourselves soon.

A busy day on Monday, starting with me getting up at 7:30am to make the ganache-filled brioche buns for my friend Mike.

Mike is a local trombonist who has gotten me a lot of work over the years.
He has his own band (Groove Slayers, whom I subbed with recently) but also contracts people for local church gigs, shows, etc.
I've gotten at least six well-paid Easter and Christmas gigs through him.
Plus he lent me his trombone harmon mute for the entire two years that I spent with Tootsie.

Figured the least I can do is bake the guy some bread.

The recipe is from Instagram, and was originally for "cheese bombs", brioche buns filled with mozzarella and brushed with garlic butter. However there's an alternative "chocolate bomb" using the same bread recipe, but with a chocolate ganache filling and a simple egg wash. In addition to the chocolate I decided to try my hand at a white chocolate strawberry ganache.

The brioche dough came out beautifully (I do remember this being a very easy recipe.)
The chocolate ganache was fine but the strawberry was a bit runny.
Despite that, only two of the buns leaked, and that has more to do with my shaping than anything else.


Once they had cooled off I wrapped each bun individually and stored them in a gift box in the fridge.
I hate that they have to sit in the fridge overnight--would like to give them to him fresh!--but I also don't want to have to start baking at 4am on Tuesday so they'll be ready at 10am, you know? Also, the reason I baked them on Monday morning was so they'd be done before I had therapy and/or work.

I set aside one of the leaky buns for Jameson and I to enjoy later.
(A Few Hours Later...)
It was pretty good! I was glad to see that they did cook all the way through.


The bread is a really wonderful recipe, it always turns out soft and fluffy, similar texture to Japanese milk bread or a buttery dinner roll that feathers as you pull it apart. For the ganache, I wanted more filling but am unsure if that's possible with this type of bread without making it soggy. It's also worth noting that since we taste-tested a leaky bun, the other intact buns may have more filling. I think if I'd stuck to the original all-chocolate filling it would have turned out better construction-wise. That said, the strawberry flavor was a very good addition that I really liked, and would like to try again. I hope my friend likes them!

Anyway, while all of that was happening I also ate breakfast and squeezed in little 30-minutes chunks of Nursing Home Job whenever the bread dough was rising.
( Therapy Things )

The rest of my day was mostly doing Nursing Home Job and picking up Pub Subs for us for dinner.
Jameson had a very rough day at work, a lot of data entry because they got a new course or something.
Neither of us got to stop working until around 8pm.

--------------------------------------------------------

Tuesday I was up early again, so I could have quality breakfast time before diving into Nursing Home Job.
Around 10am Mike came to pick up his bread, about an hour later he wrote to say they're delicious. Mission accomplished.

Then Jameson and I both molded our asses to respective chairs and tippity-typed away at our jobs.
His work is better-paid and more important than mine, of course, but mine is at least somewhat interesting and rewarding.
I entered data for probably around eight nursing home resident profiles, each one of them different, little snippets of peoples' lives, their past and their present and how they want to spend the rest of their future. Even after the person dies, their profile can be kept as a memorial for their family. It's kind of nice.

Anyway, I logged six hours and my brain felt like it was melting.
Considering that I used to work 40 hours per week at a desk for CapTel, this "should" feel easier. But it's been a long time since I truly sat and did office work. I felt restless and in need of distraction every 30-45 minutes. Luckily it is easy to take little 5-minute breaks, or longer if needed. No one says I have to work for hours straight in a row. As long as I end up with 30 hours at the end of the week, no one cares. That's kinda nice.

When 4pm rolled around Jameson went out in the brutal heat to run an errand (heat index of around 110°F here today) and I played a little trombone, not much because I realized partway through that I should air-trombone the part first to catch transitions. When Jameson came back he made us HelloFresh hamburger lettuce wraps for dinner.

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Wednesday it was 7:30am for me again.
A Publix run for raisins, yeast, and dark brown sugar to make the Baking Yesteryear Hot Cross Buns recipe. Baking the buns will set me back with my six-hours-per-day work goal today, but distruptions will certainly happen when one works from home so I need to be adaptable to that.

Yesterday and today, we had heat warnings here in Orlando/Kissimmee.
NPR says these are the first heat advisories ever for this area, and I believe it.
At 8am at Publix it was close to 90°F, and the heat index today is supposed to hit 118°F!
That's insane. Like Arizona, but even worse because it's so humid. Loads of heat records are being broken this week.

Anyway, back home I ate breakfast and then got started on the dough.
Simmering raisins with milk, butter, and brown sugar on the stove, then mixing that with flour, salt, yeast, eggs, and spices.


This was a very sticky dough, but no worse than a brioche really.
The most annoying part was the more I kneaded it and the tigher the dough formed, the more raisins would pop out and try to escape. Kept having to stop kneading to poke those suckers back in. 90 minutes later I had a big glob of aerated, sticky, sweet-smelling dough.


I tried to weigh it into twelve equal balls, but the raisins and the stickiness made it kind of hard to get them all even.
Still, not bad. After the second rise they had puffed up nicely. I decorated each one with a white flour paste cross.


Into the oven and 25 minutes later, pulled them out and brushed them with a sugar glaze.


The house smelled incredible. They turned out fluffy and beautiful, surprisingly light and feathery. Jameson and I each enjoyed one; I would have loved to eat the whole tray!


Being a recipe from the early 1900s, the only spices used were allspice and cinnamon.
No vanilla, no nutmeg, no ginger. All things I'd like to experiment with adding if I do this again :p
But I'd definitely make this recipe again, especially to share or give as a gift.
They were wonderful, delicious, and evoked holidays and family and the GOOD kind of warmth.

I had tried to work while the dough was rising and such, but the cleanup for these was time consuming since the dough was so sticky. I ended up doing only four hours out of the six I need each day to make 30 per week and still have a weekend. But Jameson saved me time by cooking dinner, and instead of being annoyed with myself I went for a walk after dinner when the sun was going down and it was a "balmy" 93°F. I was glad to get some exercise.

Also, I finally got my official My Fair Lady contract, signed it, and sent it off.
It had landed in my spam, the sender was Adobe (because they were using an online Adobe application to host the document), and I had already hit "Delete" before I noticed the name of a company manager in the preview. Had to go to Trash and rescue it.

Always check your spam folder, kids.

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Thursday I finally got in a full six hours of Nursing Home Job.

Nothing else to report except that before dinner I decided to take a dip in the pool.
Swam back and forth several times like I normally do, sometimes doing the length entirely under water.

On one of these laps, I popped back up and saw something out of the corner of my eye.

It was a baby water snake. Swimming alongside me. Just about a foot from my shoulder.

What would you have done?
I know lots of folks who would have been out of that pool so fast they'd probably leave their bathing suits behind!

As for me though, I was charmed and started squeeing and cooing over him, and reached out hoping to hold him.
He swam away in a little burst of fear, so instead I moved to the steps and fetched the pool net (ours is flat like a tennis racket) and gently scooped him out, calling Jameson to come look.

He was adorable, with his little head up and flicking his tongue out a lot, looking all around and actually pretty relaxed one he was on something solid. I was able to put my hand directly next to him and he didn't move away or coil up in fear. I was SO tempted to play with him a bit, but it's always better for the animal to leave them alone as much as possible. So after admiring him a bit and fighting the urge to cuddle him I let him go in the yard.

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Friday, another scalding hot day. Fourth day of heat advisories in a row.

Breakfast and Nursing Home Job.
I finally hit 30 hours, which means I can have tomorrow off! Yay!

Jameson and I both took a dip in the pool in the evening.
We both looked carefully for snakes and didn't see any.
But then...after about 10 minutes of paddling around...

I looked across the water and saw a little brown head bobbing near the deep end!
This time Jameson was there to see it, and he was flabbergasted. We have no idea where it had been hiding, or how it had slipped into the water without us noticing. I scooped it out with the pool net again, but this time I HAD to cuddle him!

Look how CUUUUUUTE


Blep, blep!


What a beautiful texture and pattern he has.


Video (CLICK HERE to watch)

This one was smaller than the one I saw yesterday, and a lot more fearful.
But it was easy to set him down on the tile and distract him with one hand while grabbing him gently behind the head with the other. He was surprisingly strong for such a tiny little noodle! I admired him and although the lighting was not good, I got to look closely at his lovely pattern, and his overlapping scales, and his little blep-blep tongue as he nervously smelled and waited for an opportunity to escape.

He was clearly afraid but never once coiled or opened his mouth, just waited tense and nervous until I let him go in the grass.
We poked around my potted plants, checked the pool filter, and walked around the edge of the lanai screen looking for, I don't know...a hole? Eggs? A nest? But we didn't find anything at all. We concluded that they must be hatching in the undeveloped land behind the house, and their instincts were pulling them to the closest water. But pool water is no good for adorable noodles.

And it doesn't really explain how they just keep MANIFESTING after we've gotten in the water.
I wonder if we'll find another snake tomorrow?

After that we had dinner and relaxed.
I finally cracked open the bottle of Omachi sake I'd bought from Moto-i in Minneapolis.
It was crystal clear and tasted just as good as the day I'd tried it: fruity, sweet, and fresh :)


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Saturday, I slept in a little and it was nice to not have to get up for work :)

After breakfast we both wanted to exercise, so Jameson went to the gym while I braved the heat for a neighborhood walk.
It was oppressive. I brought a bottle of water with me and was very glad that I had.
Too hot. Don't think I'll be doing that again.

After lunch Jameson watched a Queen + Bejart BluRay while I braved heat and traffic for a run to Whole Paycheck.
We wanted sous vide salmon for dinner, plus Mezcla has finally released some new protein bar flavors that I really wanted to try!
Bonus, I also found BAWI passion fruit water which I absolutely love.

At the checkout I was excited to see an Amazon One biometric scanner!
Of course I used it right away. Hovered my hand over it, and my groceries were paid.


Because you still have to manually scan each grocery item, biometric checkout alone doesn't make anything go faster.
But it DOES mean that I don't have to bring a purse, or credit cards, or cash, or even my phone, to shop at Whole Paycheck.
I could show up buck naked and still buy groceries! Theoretically ;P
I hope that the next step will be frictionless checkout. PLEASE oh please.

For dinner I made sous vide salmon, blanched asparagus, and mashed potatoes.
The only thing that was fully "good" was the potatoes, because Jameson instructed me using what he'd learned from all those HelloFresh meals. The salmon was fine but then I tried to sear it and kept it in the pan too long...it wasn't overcooked, but was harder than I prefer it. And the asparagus was too soft, I should have pulled it from blanching at least a minute earlier. I was disappointed (that salmon was NOT cheap!) but Jameson said I'm too hard on myself, everything was very good, and when I'm not making meals like this regularly how can I expect things to turn out restaurant-quality?

He's right, of course.
And then I got made because he is so kind and patient with me, but doesn't extend that courtesy to HIMSELF.

The rest of the night, while Jameson waited impatiently for a new Star Wars game to load, I finished writing timestamps into a bootleg copy of My Fair Lady on youtube. For those interested, here is what I mean. There are many bootlegs of popular Broadway shows on youtube but you often have to know where to look (a lot of them are called "slime tutorials", hint hint) When I am learning a new show, the hardest thing to learn is the cut scenes, transitions, and the parts where dialogue happens interspersed with the music. This is why it's pretty useless to use the official soundtrack for practicing purposes.

So instead, you can find one of these bootlegs on YouTube...HERE is the one I'll be using, you can see my timestamps in the comments.

Using my trombone part, I watched and listened to the video (sometimes skipping ahead through dialogue or to get to an ending) and made timestamps for the start of each musical number that I need to practice. This way, when I go to practice I can load up this video and play along with any number or transition that I like, with timing that is as close as possible to what the actors and MD are likely to be doing. There are a few cuts and changes that happen when a show goes on tour, but that's ok; the majority of the show is there for practice.

Thank god for bootleggers!

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Sunday, I got up early to work Nursing Home Job.
I'm doing tedious stuff right now, but am most productive between 8am-noon so was able to hammer out a lot.

Somewhere in there Jameson got up and went to the gym, then after lunch he went to day drink with some friends.
I completed six hours of work, then played trombone just a little bit, and had a 3oz pour of sake.
If I drink 3oz every other day I should finish it before it starts to go bad.

Jameson wasn't home until after dinnertime, so I was starving, but didn't say anything because A) I can always just snack and B) it's rare for him to go out and have fun and lose track of time, frankly he could do with that more often.

It was a chill night.

This coming week I have therapy, an appointment with Warburton to try mouthpieces, an interview with a writer's mill, and some trombone shopping to do.

On Monday I applied to more jobs, practiced trombone, and had my first BetterHelp therapy session.

( CLICK HERE for Therapy Things )

So therapy was what it was. And afterward I went for an "ok" walk, that seemed to go quickly because I was so in my own head and also so concerned that it might rain at any moment.

By the time I got back from my walk I had heard from one part of my job puzzle, and it was good news.
Now I just need one other piece to fall into place, then I can share what's going on, and also stop stressing about it!!

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Tuesday was barely worth mentioning. Super slow day.

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Wednesday I got up an hour earlier than usual to have breakfast and prep some focaccia dough.

It's an overnight no-knead recipe with only four ingredients: bread flour, water, yeast, salt.
Took no time at all to throw together, but of course I had to clean up afterward.

Then ran some errands, took my large trombone to be repaired, practiced a little.
Tried to do a session of mindfulness therapy. Tried not to check my email for job news.
Went for a walk with Jameson in the scorching heat.

Early dinner because I had rehearsal an hour away with the party band.
It went better than I expected, mostly because everyone was very accommodating, my part had been updated with the most recent cuts and changes, and I wasn't forced to play any abstract jazz solos.

Please understand that whenever I take a "party band" or "Top 40s" or "wedding band" gig, 99.99% of the time it means being dropped into a room with nine older-than-me dudes who are used to being a room full of ALL dudes. So there are a lot of ways that things can go, not all of them pleasant for ME. Thankfully this band seemed like gentlemen, and they also seemed truly satisfied with my playing and how I fit in musically with the group. I think the gig will go well and I won't embarrass anyone, and that alone made attending the rehearsal (it was optional) worthwhile for sole purpose of calming my nerves.

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Thursday, I was really tired of being tense and stressed about my job situation.
Especially since I'm paying for BetterHelp therapy which is next to useless because I can't calm down long enough to complete any of the meditation exercises.

But hey, I had some nice focaccia dough to bake.
This morning I took it out of the fridge, coated it in olive oil, and let it rise on the counter for two hours.


It didn't get as puffy as I had hoped (I like the unauthentic focaccia that looks like cake!) but I didn't want to let it sit any longer for fear of overproofing. Gave it the ol' dimple treatment with some more olive oil, rosemary, and Maldon sea salt.


Into the oven at 425°F for about 30 minutes, the last two minutes on broil to get a darker top.


The outside was crunchy and savory, the inside was super light, chewy and fluffy.



Jameson liked it a lot! He dipped a piece in oil and balsamic.
Next time I want to add more rosemary because a lot of it fell off during cutting.

Later on we went for a walk, which helped me release some nervous energy.
For dinner Jameson cooked HelloFresh miso peach pork chops, which were delicious and much appreciated.

And then....finally, after all of the stress and waiting....I got the answer I've been waiting for.

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If you're an "LJ Friend" you've already had access to my private posts on my job situation, so this is for the rest of y'all.

( CLICK HERE for Job Things )

I've been waiting for so long for things to stop dangling about just out of my reach, this is a huge relief.
The only thing left is FedWriters, and frankly I've kind of given up on them at this point.
If they get back to me before November, great; if not, that will be a shame. I am losing money and work this summer because of that, but there's nothing I can do, it's done.

The rest of the day was fairly chill. Jameson wasn't feeling well...we thought he'd caught my cold, and maybe he did, but mine faded away and his seems to be intensifying. I'm hoping he just has a sinus infection and not covid. In the afternoon I went out and got some new Covid tests and some ginger ale for him.

At night I drove an hour to Deland for a gig at Cafe DaVinci with the Groove Slayers.


It was a nice outdoor setup, lots of room for people to dance if they were so inclined.
I was front and center right next to the vocalist, so I went into "cruise ship mode" which is remembering to do little side-to-side dance moves, interact with the vocalist, throw some horn pops in there, and smile, smile, smile. I was dripping sweat before we even started playing, but had worn all black so it wouldn't be super obvious. I made some mistakes but so did other people, and I think none of mine were disruptive.

This kind of gig is "fun" to me in that it's engaging; challenging to interpret the messy scribbled-over charts, remember who's doing what for each song, or scrambling to cover when the bandleader shouts out a song that's not in the set list. And getting to meet and network with local musicians is fun and exciting! But other than that...there's a reason that I don't do party band gigs often. They're extroverted things, requiring a lot of social energy and stage presence, which I have only in shallow quantities. The pay is often not worth the long commutes, uncomfortable heat, time spent playing, or heckling you have to endure. I'm glad that I got to do this gig, but as I finally got home at 2am, sweaty and tired, I felt relieved that there's only one more.

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Saturday I woke up only slightly later than usual.

Had an enjoyable morning starting a new Megan's Foodie Finds for My Fair Lady.

The rest of the day was absolutely nothing.
I updated my ipad for the evening's gig, and marked through some of the MFL trombone part.
There was an Amazon delivery of B. Dylan Hollis's new cookbook, which we've been looking forward to!
It's recipes he's curated and listed by decade, most of which are unconventional by today's standards. Some are familiar (hot crossed buns) and others seem crazy but actually turn out pretty awesome (avocado pie). He even included a "Worst of the Worst" chapter with a few of the most hideous recipes he could find (think "Jello tuna". Blech.) I'm definitely making at least one of these next week.

(PS: if you don't want to buy the cookbook, his TikTok handle is @bdylanhollis and most of these recipes are there for FREE)

In the evening I drove out to Casselberry for the second gig with Groove Slayers, this time at a seedy local bar.
No stage this time, just a corner of an outdoor awning sectioned off by audio wedges.
We were pressed for space so there was less dancing around and more focus on not whacking my bandmates.
On the positive side, air circulation was much better and the lights less hot, so it felt cooler.

Also, I was asked to play not one but TWO longish solos, PLUS trade fours, and for once in my life I did well at this.

Improvisation and jazz solos are a thing that I've struggled with since I started playing the trombone. Most of my college years and early gigs were spent being sneered at by rooms full of men at every noise I made...and that wasn't even the half of it. Having no jazz experience and almost zero guidance (my oh-so-helpful teachers would say shit like, "You just gotta feel it" or "You either get it or you don't" instead of actually instructing me on jazz basics), I'd try to solo and of course it would sound like crap. I had no idea how to make it sound GOOD. So I'd be told I "wasn't a good fit," or would be sent off mid-gig to go record the band from the audience instead of performing. Once or twice I'd even be ridiculed and then sent home. And one very special time, I even had a band manager lie to me about a gig being canceled because he didn't want me to show up (I found out later that the gig had gone on as planned with a last-minute trombonist.)

So I developed a complex about playing jazz music. I believed that I was a horror at it, that I'd embarrass my bandmates if I played any kind of feature solo, and that I just didn't "get it" and never would. Fast forward to post-2017, I was able to gain confidence because I played with two wonderful bands: The Flashbacks, a party band in Kansas City that welcomed me and supported me even when my solos were not great; and the all-female Princess Cruises band, where the bass player took time to give me private improv lessons and the entire band lovingly supported my efforts every single night.

Even so, that doesn't really explain why or how I suddenly knew what to do last night. It just...happened. Usually having a bandmate nod at me to cue a solo is a moment of terror and inferiority for me. Yet somehow, last night, my brain kinda shrugged and said, "Cool," and off we went. Loads of compliments from my bandmates afterward too, which felt amazing.

39 years old, folks. Never give up.

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Sunday, I woke up early despite having gotten to bed at 3am.
Had a blazing headache (not surprising after the deafening gig last night) that stuck with me all day.

In the afternoon, decided to make Lofthouse cookies.
I've been meaning to make them for a while, and figured why not scratch this cookie itch now before diving into Dylan's cookbook.

People down here often refer to these as "Publix cookies" too.


They turned out ok. The dough was very sticky...not sure if that's due to humidity or perhaps not enough flour (I didn't have the right kind.) You're supposed to roll out the dough and use a cookie cutter but the dough stuck to the rolling pin or the counter no matter what I did. So instead I had to shape and flatten them by hand. They're very good, a fluffy sugar cookie with light pink homemade buttercream.

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On Monday I hope, first of all, that Jameson feels better.

And then, I have errands, therapy, and hopefully hearing from people about all that upcoming work.