"Vacation" Snippet 1
Jun. 18th, 2021 09:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
taz_39After another night in a random hotel, I woke up, had breakfast, and hit the road.
I landed in Richmond in order to get a matching tire for my unexpected new tire.
For those who didn't know, when you buy tires you're supposed to buy all four at once, or at least buy them in pairs, and also ensure that they're the same brand/style so that they will wear evenly. Buying random tires at random times, or different brands of tires to be used simultaneously, can cause uneven wear, alignment and shock/strut problems, etc. Or so I've been told.
I've been driving several hundred miles with three nearly-done tires and one brand new tire. This is not ideal for my car.
The least I could do is get a second new tire so that they'll wear evenly.
I found a shop in Richmond that could get the tires in, and they were able to put it on in under 30 minutes.
I promised to come back on my way back down to FL for two more new tires. Then I hit the road again.
Being in Richmond was nostalgic. Because of the circus.
There are between 40-80 major cities across the US that I visited during my five years with the circus.
In any of those cities, there are areas that as soon as I set foot in them, it's like a map opens up in my mind.
I suddenly know that around that corner, there's a monument of a hunter holding a duck and a hidden glassblowing shop.
Or in this case, in Richmond, I knew that the section of highway I was passing over had an art installation hanging directly underneath the overpass I was on. Because I had walked there and had seen it from below. After getting the tire put on I drove to a nearby Kroger and when I pulled into the parking lot, felt the map open up in my mind, the map I had forgotten was there. I knew that there was a university one block over, and a Whole Foods just about a mile away in the opposite direction, and had a sense of which way to walk to reach the arena where we had performed all those years ago.
Ah. Nostalgia hurts.
From there I basically drove straight home, stopping only for gas and potty breaks.
I finally arrived around dinnertime, right before my dad got home from work.
My mom (she's my stepmom, but I think it's fair to call her "mom") showed me her garden, which is much larger than the last time I saw it. She now has big beautiful fig trees, and a peach tree just covered in fuzzy little preformed peaches, and irises and sunflowers and loads of other great plants. I even found a baby praying mantis on her strawberries!
We ate BLTs and caught up a little bit, then collectively decided to do some chores as we all had work to catch up on: my dad needed to finish putting siding on part of the roof, my mom needed to plant her herbs because they've started to wilt, and I needed to do at least some steno practice as I've now missed two classes. We reconvened about an hour later and sat outside for a bit, enjoying the mid-70s weather. I didn't sweat at all! How glorious.
The next morning I woke up nice and energetic, having had three full nights of sleep in a row! What a concept.
I was enlisted to help out at the local charity, which is called Agape. My parents are both heavily involved in it; my dad made the logo.
My mom runs the kitchen operations, deciding what to cook for the volunteers who work to sort and stock and distribute donations all day. Because they need to eat too. Today's menu was BLTs, burgers, or taco salad, and sides of mac and cheese or roasted veggies. I helped to prepare the food, and then helped to serve it. It was surprising how long it took to prepare all that food even with like ten of us in the kitchen. We served probably about 50 people, then had to clean up and give out the leftovers. We had started around 9:30am, and by the time it was all said and done it was about 2:30pm. Sheesh. I wish she were getting paid. But she does get a lot of free food from it, so there's that.
Back home it was more food prep because we were going to visit my sister Kate, who just had her baby a week and a half early. She's vegetarian, so we wanted to make her some vegetarian food. We brought a lot of leftover mac and cheese from Agape, and supplemented with our own roasted vegetables, and a "buffalo dip" made using cream cheese, hot sauce, and shredded jackfruit served on naan bread. By the time we were done making it dad was home from work, and we all drove over to her house together.
My sister lives in a huge house up on a hill, owned by some locals who use it to store their junk while they travel the world or something. She's lived there for at least a decade, and has thought about/planned to/tried to move out several times, but somehow always ends up staying where she is. I can understand why, it's a REALLY nice house, and it would be hard to find another so ideally constructed and located without building it yourself (which under the constrictions and volatility of the post-covid world, is not a possibility for them).
Anyway, as we came up the front step I admired both her wild and domestic garden. She has blackberries and mint and all kinds of wildflowers growing naturally, and then has planted misc herbs and veggies. Being in such a remote area, there is tons of wildlife and just a natural abundance that is beautiful to see.
Inside Kate came to meet us holding Declan, her son, my nephew. What a strange thing, to see him there in person.
And my sister too! It's been almost two years!! She looks amazing as always, though I'm sure she'd like more sleep!
Declan is a "good" baby for the most part, but like any baby he has his moments and doesn't always stick to a routine.
My mom took a turn holding him, and then it was my turn.
My dad kindly took the photos.
While holding him and looking at him, I wasn't thinking at all about how he carries our mother's DNA.
I guess now that he's here, he's more than something so abstract. He's his own person, and although I hope to see elements of our mother in him, I won't be actively expecting them. It is nice that her line can continue on, that's all.
I also didn't feel one molecule of maternal instinct/desire/emotion. Kate began wanting a child from the moment she held Elliotte, our sister's baby. I have no idea what it's like to WANT a child. Never have I ever. I didn't even play with dolls or baby dolls as a kid, and never once had an interest in children or child-rearing. Babysitting was a job from hell, I would have much rather cleaned an entire house than spent a few hours alone with some kid.
But you get the idea. Better her than me. Declan is beautiful, and I am sure he will grow up to be an amazing person!
We had dinner together, which was very nice and very much needed. It's been way too long for everyone.
We only stayed for a few hours because the baby needed to be fed and changed and Kate and Pat looked very tired as all new parents do.
As we were leaving, we saw a doe and her fawn out in the yard. I took this quick video of the inquisitive fawn.
The next day, I have to admit I was getting a little bit anxious about having missed two steno classes and not having submitted any work to make up for it. This anxiety impacted my interactions with my mom for the day; I had offered to take her out on her errands, but she always takes SO LONG with everything. We seriously spent a whole five minutes comparing the price of oatmeal by weight and volume at Walmart. Exasperated, I complained that it's just oatmeal, how is it worth spending so much time hyperventilating over whatever fraction of a cent you might save by buying this-or-that brand? Who cares? Just buy the damned oatmeal so we can move on!
She was patient with me, and after my outburst, reminded me that because she can't see (she has glaucoma) she can't drive.
Because she can't drive, she must rely on others to help with her grocery shopping and errands.
And because of this dependence, she is embarrassed to ask, she doesn't like to inconvenience others, and so doesn't get to shop very often at all, ANYWHERE.
Grocery shopping, which is something I take very much for granted, is a special outing for her.
She doesn't get to take her time and enjoy shopping, even for something stupid like oatmeal.
So when she does get to go, it's a big deal for her, and she does take a lot more time than a normal person would.
I knew this, but I didn't KNOW this. I didn't think about it, and I wasn't considerate about it.
Yes, I have to do my steno. But I'm not going to get kicked out of school for not doing it, or for turning in the work late.
My mom can only have a full day of shopping when I'm here. My sisters can't even help with that any more because they've got kids now, and the kids' needs come first. So I'm IT, when I'm in town. Which is basically never.
I felt very bad after this, and apologized. And was forgiven of course, but I am definitely going to keep a lid on my attitude for the rest of the week when it comes to taking her on her errands. I wanted to help her, and I want it to be a pleasure for her, not a stressful outing that I ruin with my school anxiety.
After running errands there was plenty of time for me to work on steno. I was able to submit one class and get started on the homework, which is more than I had expected to get done. Then when my dad got home from work my parents treated me to China Buffet! Yes, its very crappy Americanized Chinese food. But that's exactly why it's such a treat! It's something I would never normally eat. In fact, I can't remember the last time I went to a China Buffet, but it was years ago, at least five years. I enjoyed all of my bad-for-you favorites like egg custard cup, buttery flounder, honeyed chicken, stuffed mushrooms, and crispy green beans (I wish I could make these myself but never seem to get it right). I also got to try frog legs because they had them for some reason!
They were pretty good, tasted almost exactly like chicken but a little chewier, kind of like chicken thigh meat.
I would have preferred a different seasoning, but as it was I ate the whole leg and enjoyed it.
In the evening I drove out to Wilkes-Barre to pick up my sister Raven from the bus stop, she came in from NYC.
She works in some administrative capacity for Vox magazine, and was very stressed out because it's a bad time for her to be away from work.
I listened to all the stresses she's experienced recently, and shared some of my own, and we both comiserated about some of the small-town racism and closed-mindedness we had already experienced in Bloomsburg, me in the last few days, her in just the few short hours she'd been on the bus. Apparently a lot of locals have some kind of personal problem with "Juneteenth" being declared a federal holiday. I guess they're already seeing a Juneteenth tax coming out of their paychecks? Perhaps a black person has come and taken their money directly out of their pockets, or food out of their childrens' mouths, using Juneteenth as an excuse?
I love my hometown, and there are many beautiful things about it. But a lot of the locals are such racist, backwards BABIES.
If you are a full-grown adult man, and you have time to bawl to your neighbors about an event that has zero impact on your actual life, maybe it's time to take a step back and think about what kind of person you are. But these people won't.
Anyway, I got her safely to Kate's house and then booked it back to my parents' house, where they had a full-on bonfire going in the backyard.
It was a cool mid-70s evening, lovely breeze, and the warmth of the fire and smell of the firewood was wonderful. It was nice to just sit and talk and enjoy their company.
En route to bed I texted Jameson to see how he's doing. I know he's probably up a lot later and eating not so great (always happens when I leave for extended periods) but he needs space to be himself, too. He's doing gigs at Epcot this weekend, and hopefully staying hydrated.
Today, Saturday, my parents are out running errands while I type this up and then do some more steno.
Eventually I'll head over to Kate's to spend time with her and my brother and sister and nephew, for lunch and probably most of the afternoon.
Tonight I'll hopefully get to do some more steno, because everything is due tomorrow and although I won't get everything done, I'd like to submit as much as I can. On that note, off I go.
PS, here is the handmade quilt on my parents' bed.
I landed in Richmond in order to get a matching tire for my unexpected new tire.
For those who didn't know, when you buy tires you're supposed to buy all four at once, or at least buy them in pairs, and also ensure that they're the same brand/style so that they will wear evenly. Buying random tires at random times, or different brands of tires to be used simultaneously, can cause uneven wear, alignment and shock/strut problems, etc. Or so I've been told.
I've been driving several hundred miles with three nearly-done tires and one brand new tire. This is not ideal for my car.
The least I could do is get a second new tire so that they'll wear evenly.
I found a shop in Richmond that could get the tires in, and they were able to put it on in under 30 minutes.
I promised to come back on my way back down to FL for two more new tires. Then I hit the road again.
Being in Richmond was nostalgic. Because of the circus.
There are between 40-80 major cities across the US that I visited during my five years with the circus.
In any of those cities, there are areas that as soon as I set foot in them, it's like a map opens up in my mind.
I suddenly know that around that corner, there's a monument of a hunter holding a duck and a hidden glassblowing shop.
Or in this case, in Richmond, I knew that the section of highway I was passing over had an art installation hanging directly underneath the overpass I was on. Because I had walked there and had seen it from below. After getting the tire put on I drove to a nearby Kroger and when I pulled into the parking lot, felt the map open up in my mind, the map I had forgotten was there. I knew that there was a university one block over, and a Whole Foods just about a mile away in the opposite direction, and had a sense of which way to walk to reach the arena where we had performed all those years ago.
Ah. Nostalgia hurts.
From there I basically drove straight home, stopping only for gas and potty breaks.
I finally arrived around dinnertime, right before my dad got home from work.
My mom (she's my stepmom, but I think it's fair to call her "mom") showed me her garden, which is much larger than the last time I saw it. She now has big beautiful fig trees, and a peach tree just covered in fuzzy little preformed peaches, and irises and sunflowers and loads of other great plants. I even found a baby praying mantis on her strawberries!
We ate BLTs and caught up a little bit, then collectively decided to do some chores as we all had work to catch up on: my dad needed to finish putting siding on part of the roof, my mom needed to plant her herbs because they've started to wilt, and I needed to do at least some steno practice as I've now missed two classes. We reconvened about an hour later and sat outside for a bit, enjoying the mid-70s weather. I didn't sweat at all! How glorious.
The next morning I woke up nice and energetic, having had three full nights of sleep in a row! What a concept.
I was enlisted to help out at the local charity, which is called Agape. My parents are both heavily involved in it; my dad made the logo.
My mom runs the kitchen operations, deciding what to cook for the volunteers who work to sort and stock and distribute donations all day. Because they need to eat too. Today's menu was BLTs, burgers, or taco salad, and sides of mac and cheese or roasted veggies. I helped to prepare the food, and then helped to serve it. It was surprising how long it took to prepare all that food even with like ten of us in the kitchen. We served probably about 50 people, then had to clean up and give out the leftovers. We had started around 9:30am, and by the time it was all said and done it was about 2:30pm. Sheesh. I wish she were getting paid. But she does get a lot of free food from it, so there's that.
Back home it was more food prep because we were going to visit my sister Kate, who just had her baby a week and a half early. She's vegetarian, so we wanted to make her some vegetarian food. We brought a lot of leftover mac and cheese from Agape, and supplemented with our own roasted vegetables, and a "buffalo dip" made using cream cheese, hot sauce, and shredded jackfruit served on naan bread. By the time we were done making it dad was home from work, and we all drove over to her house together.
My sister lives in a huge house up on a hill, owned by some locals who use it to store their junk while they travel the world or something. She's lived there for at least a decade, and has thought about/planned to/tried to move out several times, but somehow always ends up staying where she is. I can understand why, it's a REALLY nice house, and it would be hard to find another so ideally constructed and located without building it yourself (which under the constrictions and volatility of the post-covid world, is not a possibility for them).
Anyway, as we came up the front step I admired both her wild and domestic garden. She has blackberries and mint and all kinds of wildflowers growing naturally, and then has planted misc herbs and veggies. Being in such a remote area, there is tons of wildlife and just a natural abundance that is beautiful to see.
Inside Kate came to meet us holding Declan, her son, my nephew. What a strange thing, to see him there in person.
And my sister too! It's been almost two years!! She looks amazing as always, though I'm sure she'd like more sleep!
Declan is a "good" baby for the most part, but like any baby he has his moments and doesn't always stick to a routine.
My mom took a turn holding him, and then it was my turn.
My dad kindly took the photos.
While holding him and looking at him, I wasn't thinking at all about how he carries our mother's DNA.
I guess now that he's here, he's more than something so abstract. He's his own person, and although I hope to see elements of our mother in him, I won't be actively expecting them. It is nice that her line can continue on, that's all.
I also didn't feel one molecule of maternal instinct/desire/emotion. Kate began wanting a child from the moment she held Elliotte, our sister's baby. I have no idea what it's like to WANT a child. Never have I ever. I didn't even play with dolls or baby dolls as a kid, and never once had an interest in children or child-rearing. Babysitting was a job from hell, I would have much rather cleaned an entire house than spent a few hours alone with some kid.
But you get the idea. Better her than me. Declan is beautiful, and I am sure he will grow up to be an amazing person!
We had dinner together, which was very nice and very much needed. It's been way too long for everyone.
We only stayed for a few hours because the baby needed to be fed and changed and Kate and Pat looked very tired as all new parents do.
As we were leaving, we saw a doe and her fawn out in the yard. I took this quick video of the inquisitive fawn.
https://instagram.com/p/CQPlIFLnhNb
The next day, I have to admit I was getting a little bit anxious about having missed two steno classes and not having submitted any work to make up for it. This anxiety impacted my interactions with my mom for the day; I had offered to take her out on her errands, but she always takes SO LONG with everything. We seriously spent a whole five minutes comparing the price of oatmeal by weight and volume at Walmart. Exasperated, I complained that it's just oatmeal, how is it worth spending so much time hyperventilating over whatever fraction of a cent you might save by buying this-or-that brand? Who cares? Just buy the damned oatmeal so we can move on!
She was patient with me, and after my outburst, reminded me that because she can't see (she has glaucoma) she can't drive.
Because she can't drive, she must rely on others to help with her grocery shopping and errands.
And because of this dependence, she is embarrassed to ask, she doesn't like to inconvenience others, and so doesn't get to shop very often at all, ANYWHERE.
Grocery shopping, which is something I take very much for granted, is a special outing for her.
She doesn't get to take her time and enjoy shopping, even for something stupid like oatmeal.
So when she does get to go, it's a big deal for her, and she does take a lot more time than a normal person would.
I knew this, but I didn't KNOW this. I didn't think about it, and I wasn't considerate about it.
Yes, I have to do my steno. But I'm not going to get kicked out of school for not doing it, or for turning in the work late.
My mom can only have a full day of shopping when I'm here. My sisters can't even help with that any more because they've got kids now, and the kids' needs come first. So I'm IT, when I'm in town. Which is basically never.
I felt very bad after this, and apologized. And was forgiven of course, but I am definitely going to keep a lid on my attitude for the rest of the week when it comes to taking her on her errands. I wanted to help her, and I want it to be a pleasure for her, not a stressful outing that I ruin with my school anxiety.
After running errands there was plenty of time for me to work on steno. I was able to submit one class and get started on the homework, which is more than I had expected to get done. Then when my dad got home from work my parents treated me to China Buffet! Yes, its very crappy Americanized Chinese food. But that's exactly why it's such a treat! It's something I would never normally eat. In fact, I can't remember the last time I went to a China Buffet, but it was years ago, at least five years. I enjoyed all of my bad-for-you favorites like egg custard cup, buttery flounder, honeyed chicken, stuffed mushrooms, and crispy green beans (I wish I could make these myself but never seem to get it right). I also got to try frog legs because they had them for some reason!
They were pretty good, tasted almost exactly like chicken but a little chewier, kind of like chicken thigh meat.
I would have preferred a different seasoning, but as it was I ate the whole leg and enjoyed it.
In the evening I drove out to Wilkes-Barre to pick up my sister Raven from the bus stop, she came in from NYC.
She works in some administrative capacity for Vox magazine, and was very stressed out because it's a bad time for her to be away from work.
I listened to all the stresses she's experienced recently, and shared some of my own, and we both comiserated about some of the small-town racism and closed-mindedness we had already experienced in Bloomsburg, me in the last few days, her in just the few short hours she'd been on the bus. Apparently a lot of locals have some kind of personal problem with "Juneteenth" being declared a federal holiday. I guess they're already seeing a Juneteenth tax coming out of their paychecks? Perhaps a black person has come and taken their money directly out of their pockets, or food out of their childrens' mouths, using Juneteenth as an excuse?
I love my hometown, and there are many beautiful things about it. But a lot of the locals are such racist, backwards BABIES.
If you are a full-grown adult man, and you have time to bawl to your neighbors about an event that has zero impact on your actual life, maybe it's time to take a step back and think about what kind of person you are. But these people won't.
Anyway, I got her safely to Kate's house and then booked it back to my parents' house, where they had a full-on bonfire going in the backyard.
It was a cool mid-70s evening, lovely breeze, and the warmth of the fire and smell of the firewood was wonderful. It was nice to just sit and talk and enjoy their company.
En route to bed I texted Jameson to see how he's doing. I know he's probably up a lot later and eating not so great (always happens when I leave for extended periods) but he needs space to be himself, too. He's doing gigs at Epcot this weekend, and hopefully staying hydrated.
Today, Saturday, my parents are out running errands while I type this up and then do some more steno.
Eventually I'll head over to Kate's to spend time with her and my brother and sister and nephew, for lunch and probably most of the afternoon.
Tonight I'll hopefully get to do some more steno, because everything is due tomorrow and although I won't get everything done, I'd like to submit as much as I can. On that note, off I go.
PS, here is the handmade quilt on my parents' bed.
